“Thank you so much, Aunt Nanami,” I reiterated for the tenth time as I struggled down the road, fighting the vicious wind which had sprung up in the late afternoon gloom.

“None of this is your fault,” Nanami reiterated, her voice barely audible over the howling wind.

“I…” I trailed off. Wasn’t it, though? Wasn’t all of it my fault? I know what everyone said about being born the way you are and whatever. But at the end of the day, none of this would have happened if I was just anyone other than myself. Or, at the least, if I could have simply pretended like I was any other way than the way I was. None of this would have ended this way if I’d just been…not me. “I appreciate you saying that.”

“I’m here, Kasumi,” Nanami said, her voice nearly whipped away. “Anytime.”

“Thank you. Hopefully things will work out,” I tried to not sound quite as fatalistic as I felt.

“I hope so, too,” Nanami replied nervously. “Bye bye.”

“Bye,” I said and hung up. I shook my head and sighed, opening the door to the shop, and heading inside.

“You look like shit,” Komari noted as I set my backpack down behind the cash register and got ready for work. “Long day?”

“It’s been a long life,” I muttered ruefully.

“Problems with the gf?” Komari flicked through photos of buildings on her monitor.

“Ex,” I muttered pointedly.

“Shit,” Komari shook her head. “I’m sorry about that, princess.” Komari scowled. “First love sucks.”

“Yeah,” I shrugged, unable to argue her point. “I think love as a whole kinda sucks.”

“I wish I could argue but you’re not entirely wrong, I guess,” Komari admitted. “So what happened? If you don’t mind me asking, that is. I mean, not that I really care, either. But, whatever.” I shrugged. What was the harm of telling her at this point, I thought.

“And that was about the end of things,” I finished, giving her the shortened version of things.

“That is…so insanely fucked up,” Komari shook her head. I nodded glumly. “Like…that’s serial drama fucked up level stuff right there.” Great! I thought miserably. Now my life had taken on the trappings of a made for TV miniseries.

“You’re not wrong,” I was forced to concede.

“So should I expect the police to show up in a day or two?” Komari asked, favoriting one of the buildings she’d been looking at.

“Huh?” I cocked my head to the side quizzically.

“Well, I can only assume you’ll be murdering your brother at some point in the next 24 hours or so,” Komari glanced up at me meaningfully.

“Heh,” I chuckled despite myself. “I can’t go around beating up every penis I see.”

“That’s…kinda gross,” Komari gagged slightly. “Actually…that’s really gross. You’re nasty.”

“I told Midori-senpai she couldn’t go around beating up every boob in the world back when she accused Aria of cheating with Daishi,” I winced slightly at the memory, now sadly ironic. “It’s her fault she cheated on me, not Daishi’s or even Jun’s, I guess. If I started beating people up, I’d just be a hypocrite at this point.”

“I’d still snap a femur or two out of principle,” Komari returned. “But I’m a spiteful bitch like that. You’re a better person than I am.”

“No,” I shook my head. “I’m just stupid. I should have known. I was too naïve, I guess. I had this idea in my head of what my first love would be and wanted so bad for the ideal to be true I kind of shoved my head into the sand when it started to not fit my narrative.”

“Yeah,” Komari sounded like she was deep in thoughts of her own. “I know the feeling. By the same token, she was your first love. I think we’re all naïve at that point.”

“I suppose you’re right,” I reluctantly agreed. “All the signs were there, though. I just…I don’t know. I think I just didn’t want to see them.”

“Still, if you do end up killing Jun and need a place to hide out from the cops let me know, I can let you stay in the apartment upstairs for a couple of days while you find a way to smuggle yourself out of the country on a ship to Fiji.”

“I’ll bear that in mind,” I smiled. “I hear Fiji’s nice this time of year.”

“Fiji’s nice all times of the year,” Komari jabbed her pen at me for emphasis.

“Anything specific I need to do today?” I wrapped the work apron around my waist and drew my hair back in a ponytail.

“Sora keeps knocking the sorceress figurine over,” Komari scowled. “Want to see if you can figure out a way to keep her upright? Maybe superglue or something.”

“She is a very peculiar cat,” I shook my head as I wandered off to find the super glue.

“Don’t say that around her,” Komari warned me, returning to look at real estate listings. “I swear she can understand what we’re saying half the time.” Well, I mused, finding the glue, and heading toward where Sora lay wrapped around the catgirl figure, nothing creepy about that.

The wind blowing through the streets was just as vicious, if not more so than earlier by the time I finally reached the bus stop and huddled in the meager shelter it provided. I huddled deeper into my jacket and pulled my hood up over my ears. I leaned my back against the hard plastic wall and sighed.

Home. I’d been spending as much time as possible avoiding even thinking about going home but I supposed I couldn’t put it off any longer. My phone vibrated suddenly, and I awkwardly fished through my pocket with my gloved hand and pulled it out, looking down at the screen through eyes tearing from the wind.

“Hey, Mio!” I called to be heard above the wind scream.

“Have you heard from Emi?” Mio demanded, eschewing pleasantries. Something was plainly wrong. I could hear panic and fear in her voice as she spoke.

“No,” I answered, unease sinking into my chest at her tone. “What’s wrong?”

“Damn,” She sighed, clearly upset. “I was talking to her a few hours ago and all of a sudden, I heard some lady come into her room. A minute later she said she had to go really quick and would call me back.”

“Well, maybe her mom had something she needed her to do,” I posited, trying to make her feel better.

“Four hours, Kasumi,” Mio pointed out, biting off her words.

“Oh,” I admitted. “That is a bit long.”

“You think?” Mio sniped snidely

“Not nearly enough, it seems,” I admitted. “Do you want me to go check on her?”

“Do you need to ask?”

“Ok, ok,” I shook my head, the headache I’d been nursing all day threatening to bloom in full once again. “I’ll call you when I find something out.”

“The instant!” Mio lectured.

“Yes, yes, the instant I find anything out,” I corrected myself. I hung up and sighed. Well, I figured, I wasn’t terribly keen on going home right now, anyway. The weather was unfortunate but at least I could put off the inevitable for another hour or two.

Mio and Emi fit each other well, I thought as I hoisted my heavy backpack and trudged through the wind and now light, stinging rain toward the hill Emi’s house was perched on. Emi was always kind of a wild card and needed to be the center of attention. She also needed someone to ground her and act as a straight man for her mania. Mio fit that bill perfectly. Mio, despite her weird fascination with style and fashion and being a proper young lady, or maybe because of it, was the perfect foil for Emi’s madness.

I climbed the hill to Emi’s house and pushed through the gate leading to the ornate double doors. I’d spent more time here than home the past week it seemed as I climbed to the front door and pressed the doorbell. At least the wind wasn’t as vicious with the bulk of Emi’s house to block it. The light, stinging rain had grown heavier, whipped into pinpricks by the biting wind and I had been forced to sink further into my jacket to keep my cheeks warm. I rubbed my forehead with my gloved hand and sighed. The winter really sucked, I decided.

“Ah,” Miss Harada said as she opened the door, appearing a bit nervous at my presence. “Fujimura-san.”

“Good evening, Miss Harada,” I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring way. “I was wondering if I might speak to Emi.”

“Uh,” Miss Harada looked nervously back into the house, and I knew immediately something was most definitely wrong. “I’m not- “

“Who is it?” A voice demanded from inside the house.

“I-It’s Miss Fujimura,” Miss Harada replied, shooting me a look of apology.

“I’ll handle this, Himari,” The voice snapped. Miss Harada bowed in apology to me once more before retreating back inside.

Yoko Seto, despite being barely taller than Emi, was an impressive woman. Her dark eyes were sharp and focused, her hair was always immaculately coifed in an inverted bob, no hint of gray to be found. Her suit was precisely tailored and the whole aura she gave off was one of intimidation, power, and control. She was in charge and knew it and would brook no argument to the contrary.

The first time I’d met her she had grilled me for nearly an hour to make sure I wasn’t some sort of beggar just looking to bilk her daughter out of money. Though Emi’s dad had been present there was no question who the boss was. Under the glare of those dark eyes now, I suddenly felt the very same I had two years earlier. I was small and unworthy under the penetrating glare of Yoko Seto.

“G-Good evening, Mrs. Seto,” I stuttered.

“Kasumi,” She said coldly, “I’ve always been forthright with you. Have I not?”

“Y-Yes, ma’am,” I nodded.

“And I’ve always demanded honesty in return, have I not?” The full weight of her gaze settled on me disturbingly.

“Y-Yes.”

“You’ve been a good companion to my daughter,” she sighed and shook her head in disappointment. “I don’t expect people to adhere to my view of who they should be. I do expect them to be honest with me, though. Will you be honest with me, now?”

“Yes, m-ma’am.” I nodded, fear gripping my heart. I knew what was coming. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t know how it had come to this. But I knew what was coming.

“Are you a homosexual, Kasumi?” Emi’s mom leaned forward slightly to give more weight to her words, her eyes never leaving mine.

And here it is at last, the thought fired through my mind like a bullet. The moment I’d been dreading since I realized I was gay. The moment where what I was would overshadow who I was. Provided I told the truth, of course.

Lie. My brain seized on the thought. Lie and say you aren’t. What was the harm? Who could it hurt? It was really no one’s business, anyway. She had no right to even ask such a thing. I was nothing to her but her daughter’s friend. A lie is harmless. Especially in this situation. A lie lets me continue my life. A lie lets me continue to belong. A lie is simple. A lie is a life jacket in the raging tempest my life had become. A lie was easy. Too easy. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“Yes,” I said, my throat dry, my eyes never leaving hers. Emi’s mom closed her eyes for a moment.

“I appreciate your honesty, Kasumi,” she said with a sigh, fixing me with her gaze once more. There was plainly more, and I stood in front of the door to Emi’s house waiting for the verdict to be passed. I was exhausted in a way I had never imagined I could be. My hands hung limply at my side, cold inside my gloves. My backpack seemed to be filled with stones, bending my spine under the weight of it, yet I kept my head upright and met her gaze.

“I respect you for telling me the truth, Kasumi,” Yoko rubbed the bridge of her nose in agitation. “Just as I hope you respect my position. My family has a long and distinguished history. We are noble born and noble bred and, as such, we have certain expectations laid upon us.

“Rightly or wrongly, the weight of those expectations will fall on Emi’s shoulders one day soon. She will be expected to carry the history of our family forward into the next generation as I did, and my mother did before me. She will also be expected to not be a party to scandal. Even the mere appearance of impropriety must be avoided at all costs.

“Emi was sent to my mother’s home this evening and will be enrolled in an academy for young ladies there next week. We allowed her leeway. Perhaps, in hindsight, we should not have. This is not a reflection of you or your family, of course. This is simply the reality of our and by extension her position.” She laid a hand on my shoulder sympathetically. “I hope you understand.”

I stared ahead as stoically as I could, my mind reeling from what she was saying. No, I did not understand. How could I? How, with one label, with one word, could I suddenly lose the only friend I had left? How was I supposed to understand? How could I tell Mio? How could I ask her to understand? The world swam beyond the salty tears springing to my eyes. She patted my shoulder comfortingly once before standing upright, her eyes not leaving mine.

“You are to have no further contact with her. You are no longer welcome here,” Yoko Seto announced my sentence regretfully, but firmly. There would be no appeal. I was exiled from Emi’s life. “I wish you the best of luck, Kasumi. Good evening.” She stepped back and closed the door. The light from Emi’s home and warmth which had come from being part of her life was snuffed out immediately, leaving me shivering in the darkness.