“This uniform sucks,” Emi Seto grumbled as she made her way along the Sakura tree lined road leading from Seitosha Sakurai School for Girls’ dorms to the main building atop the forested hills north of Kyoto. “What the hell is it made of? Asbestos? Fiberglass? Human hair?” Suddenly she paused as a tremor of disgust ran through her thin frame. Oh my god! She thought. Am I wearing human hair? She lifted the collar of her dark red blazer and sniffed at it experimentally. Please don’t let it smell like shampoo and scalp, she pleaded to whatever god or goddess happened to be closest. It smelled vaguely of baa chan’s detergent, despair, and desperation she mused.

“Emiii!” A voice called from the direction of the school. A girl only slightly taller than her, though looking vaguely like an ant from this distance was waving at her excitedly, her entire frame waving back and forth like a reed in the midst of a hurricane. Plainly, Emi surmised, this was her new roommate, Asami. She figured it had to be given the girl’s wildly waving pig tails and the fact she was the only one who knew her. Emi briefly considered hurrying her pace but quickly discarded the notion as requiring far too much energy consumption for her tastes. So, waving briefly back in response, Emi continued her ponderous, meandering walk.

“We’re almost going to be late, silly!” Asami giggled as Emi finally drew up to the gates of the school.

“Isn’t that the exact same thing as being on time?” Emi asked, hiking her pack into place on her shoulder. Asami stared at her for a moment from behind her glasses, the wheels in her mind grinding slowly on as she tried to figure out what Emi had just said.

“It kind of is, huh?” Asami finally replied with a hesitant grin, her dimples puckering her cheeks joyously.

“It must be as I just said it,” Emi agreed distractedly, her eyes shifting to the tall white gates and the school grounds beyond it to finally rest on the tall, multi-story western-style school sitting like a fat white monument to a different time and place.

“Do you want to go to the candy store in town this afternoon with me?” Asami asked brightly, plucking a fallen cherry blossom out of Emi’s ponytail.

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Emi demanded hotly. “Of course I do.”

“Oh, good!” Asami clapped her hands together enthusiastically. “I’m so glad you moved in! I never had anyone that would go to the candy store with me before!”

“Then they are fools and cretins,” Emi sniffed derisively, glaring at the press of girls in similarly maroon blazers and skirts with black stockings shuffling through the gates toward the school. Unlike in Tottori where the crush of students inevitably including laughter and shouts the girls were almost silent with muted conversation passing between them. It was like lining up for a body viewing at a funeral, Emi mused.

“Actually, I never had a roommate before. By the way, what’s a cretin?” Asami blinked at her blankly.

“Seasoned baked bread bits you put on a salad,” Emi replied easily. “You can also put it on soups and stuff. Some people call it croutons for some reason.”

“Really?” Asami looked skeptical.

“No,” Emi shook her head. “Not really.”

“Oh,” Asami seemed confused but followed after Emi as she strode through the gates anyway.

“Say, Asami-chan,” Emi asked as they walked down the road lined in flowers and Sakura trees toward the front entrance of the school, “what are these uniforms made of, do you think?”

“Wool?” Asami answered after a moment’s thought. “I don’t know.” Emi scratched her back irritably as she walked which set off a chain reaction of frenzied scratching wherever her uniform touched skin as they drew closer to the wide triple doors.

“Are you sure it’s not human hair?” Emi picked at the front of her blazer, the black and gold embroidered emblem of Seitosha Sakurai School for Girls glinting in the cool spring sunlight filtering through the graceful, heavily laden boughs of the spreading cherry trees above them.

“Um,” Asami peered at her own uniform in surprise. “I…I don’t think it is.”

“Well, they’re itchy and heavy and I don’t like them,” Emi groaned, sagging dramatically. “I’ve no experience, but I imagine human hair is probably the same. Have there ever been any mysterious disappearances of students where they come back bald?”

“I…don’t think so,” Asami thought hard for a long moment. “They are kind of itchy, though, huh? You didn’t have school uniforms at your last school, Emi san?”

“Just Emi is fine,” Emi shook her head. “And, no, we didn’t.”

“But you call me Asami chan, though,” Asami protested weakly.

“I am a witch of honorifics and I’m allowed,” Emi lectured her sagely. “But we’re the same age, just call me Emi, Asami chan.”

“Oh, ok,” Asami replied with no small amount of confusion. “Then let’s get along from now on Emi s- Emi.” Asami giggled behind her hand as the strangeness overwhelmed her momentarily.

“Yep,” Emi nodded, taking a breath as the two girls reached the long shadows thrown off by the tall white building looming before them.

Emi and Asami made their way up the stairs, the other scarlet-clad girls around them bowing politely to one another as they hurried without hurrying toward the wide-open doors of the school. The girls swept up the expanse of the snowy stairs in carefully controlled chaos. A ballet of scarlet and black with each girl never seeming to hurry or dawdle. The few giggles were muted and carefully hidden behind demurely placed hands over their mouths. Emi hated each second of it.

With no real idea where she was going, she walked close beside Asami after the pair had changed into their indoor shoes. The two wove their way down the elegant, pristine halls with the others, their footfalls nearly silent on the polished pale wooden planks. As they went along, girls peeled off to their own classes until it was Emi and Asami and three other girls who reached the second door from the end of the hall and entered their classroom.

In her school in Tottori the laughter and yells and howls of the others always comforted Emi in a strange way. Much, she imagined, as the sounds of battle had bolstered a veteran samurai. There was none of that here. This was an alabaster palace of propriety and sophistication. A beacon of class in an idyllic location within the heart of Japan. A school where young girls were molded into young women. Emi wanted it to catch on fire, collapse, and then have the pieces roll down the fill into the happily burbling stream at the bottom.

Of course, Emi mused, even if that did happen the chances of her being able to go back to her old life with her Kasumi and her friends and, more importantly, her girlfriend, were basically zero. Her mother had made that fact abundantly clear. However, basically zero wasn’t actually zero, so it was worth musing over anyway. As for something bad happening to the school…well, typhoons were a thing and electrical faults were tragically common in these old buildings. She was not a witch of arson but was certainly not above considering the notion if necessary.

Emi scowled and pulled at her ponytail testily as part of it had gotten lodged inside the blazer. Each time she moved her head she felt the small hairs at the nape of her neck pull irritatingly. This blazer would be her undoing, she decided, finally yanking the ponytail free completely. She scowled as she searched through the bag she’d discarded on the floor for the books she’d need, looking up only as a shadow fell across her desk.

“Gokigenyou, Seto san,” the girl said, her long black hair styled impeccably to frame her face, highlighting her considerable beauty in a way Emi was almost positive had come only after long consultations with a professional stylist. Emi blinked at the girl blankly, her mind quickly going through the names of girls she knew at the school. Stopping and ending at Asami made things relatively simple and since this girl was not Asami, she had no idea who it was.

“Gokigenyou,” Emi replied, feeling her skin crawl at having to say it.

“I am Satomi Watanabe,” The girl said as if that should mean something. She bowed her head slightly.

“Ah, yes,” Emi nodded knowingly. “It’s good to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot of good things about you. Good work!”

“Oh! You have?” The girl seemed slightly taken aback but quickly recovered and smiled brightly, flashing teeth so white and straight they could make a dentist weep uncontrollable crocodile tears.

“Absolutely!” Emi lied. She had zero idea who this person was or why she was talking to her. “What can I do for you, Satomi-san?”

“Well, since you are new to the school and I am the class representative I would like to offer my services to show you around the school today,” the girl smiled brilliantly again, nearly blinding Emi. Emi kept her face a mask of reverent joy but was immediately suspicious. Was this one of those “bully the new student” things she’d read about in manga?

“I would be delighted, Satomi-san,” Emi nodded in a show of gratitude, flashing a smile she judged to be sufficiently brilliant in return. “I thank you.”

“Excellent! I’ll see you at lunch, then?” Satomi bowed again.

“Yes. I’ll see you then,” Satomi turned expertly on her heel and retreated to her seat. Well, Emi decided, going back to looking through her bag, if I have to, I’ll get ahold of a golf club and kneecap her. I am after all, she thought with a slight shrug, a witch of self-defense.