Prologue
Joe was just out and about doing his daily chores, which consisted of buying groceries and collecting the occasional packages. The sun had just started to poke up behind the treetops, and the town of twenty-thousand was as quiet as it ever would be. From this snip of information, you might come to think of Joe as a hardworking man, but on contrary, Joe is actually someone that does the least amount of work possible. When serving in the military he choose to be a truck driver because he knew beforehand that then he would not be forced to do as much of the arduous training arrangements he otherwise would be subjected to. Let's continue, Joe was on his way to the barbershop since he had gotten ahold of a coupon the day before. (Yes, Joe is also a cheapskate.)
While walking on the pavement he was focusing on the coupon it read as follows "99% OFF". Of course, this seemed too good to be true, but that did not stop Joe. As he got inside the shop he heard a high pitch screeching sound, and suddenly he felt the world spin and turn. Then a burning sensation began to spread, while at the same time he felt freer than ever. Then suddenly everything came to a halt, and in front of him appeared a mystic figure. From top to bottom it was covered in an incomprehensible floating material. It had a shape vaguely similar to that of a humanoid. Then it spoke "You have been chosen as a suitable energy transporter. Consider yourself lucky.". The voice Joe heard was like nothing he had heard before, but he did not get too long to think of this as he promptly fainted.
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Yes. Votes: 13 39.4%
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Nah, step up your game. Votes: 8 24.2%
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I do not care how you write it as long as it is fun to read. Votes: 19 57.6%
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Stop with the polls please. Votes: 2 6.1%
A new chapter is being released tomorrow! Do not worry it will be longer than this one.
Interesting but I think you can do better, I believe in you
Instead of this being chapter one, it feels like a prologue. He also didn't "arrive" anywhere
Thanks for the constructive criticism. I am fixing it now. So this one is prologue and the second chapter is "arriving".
I selected no and yes on the poll because i feel its to early to judge...
I'm not one to talk but I do like the concept of the story but I think you'll need to be a little more specific in the story description and that's mostly because it doesn't mention anything about the real plot of the story or why he sent there or who sent him or anything like.
It would be better if you could tell us what he's doing there or when he's going there or who he's going to meet.
But that's just my opinion so just keep working at it so all in all I'd give you an 8 out of 10 for a future job well done
