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in the ghost hunt rewrite, keith should be:
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friendly Votes: 3 6.0%
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neutral Votes: 34 68.0%
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hostile Votes: 13 26.0%
Total voters: 50 · This poll was closed on Aug 19, 2023 10:36 PM.
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17
hm, good things to consider. thanks for response - rz
I don’t care about Keith. Seriously. He has nothing to do with the story. The stakes of this arc seem like Jisha is trying to fit back in to her old life, now that she’s dealing with both having grown up, and whatever PTSD she got from being a trained soldier in a worldwide conflict that got her and her entire family killed. Meanwhile, everyone else is trying to figure out what’s up with her. The way I see it, either Keith does something and Jisha overreacts, and absolutely demolishes the guy, showing she’s not the same, or Keith does nothing but be a creep and is therefore unnecessary to the entire story. In that sense, I’d like to see him get beat up, but that’s just because I think it’s make for a more interesting story. Practically, you’re the author, and you should do whatever you think would make the most interesting story. I just think Keith really doesn’t matter to that. The whole ghost hunt arc seems more about Jisha and Syny, since they can’t meet up in the main game yet.
yes i'm the author, and i feel like some of these shenanigans were getting a bit pointless, and you vindicated my feelings :) you are correct in the fact that it's mostly an introduction to Syn, and you brought up some very interesting ideas.
thanks for the response. - rz
Since others talked about his story purpose,
It seems like current-Keith is there to create a situation Syny hates and thinks Jisha isn't self-aware enough to cope with, which serves to distract her from Jisha's sudden change of character in the short term. I don't mind how he acts because I don't expect to see him again, he's sort of a random nobody. No strategic or sentimental value to the protagonist; not someone she remembers having met (potential for intrigue there, I guess?), he's just a boyfriend of a friend of her best friend ... and likely not even that for much longer, from the sounds of things.
Maybe he'll turn out to actually be major villain material when he'll someday have gone too far with his stalkery crushes, snapped, and orchestrated some tragic political murder(s) in the original timeline or something? But as he is he just seems like a random teenager that sucks in a, sadly, fairly ordinary way. The stakes are low, which feels appropriate.
yes, seems like most people just don't care about him, which is completely reasonable, and frankly what i expected. thanks for response - rz
I think neural is the best for now, but you should really set both short term and long term goals for the characters you introduce. What do you want them to achieve? How big of an impact do you want them to have.
Currently Keith could fill in a kind of stalker/detective villain role, who will gradually try to find our protag, though he could also fill in that role as a friendly character, who sometimes helps our protag.
Right now, he seems to have been set up as a flip-flopping, cunning, flirtatious character, with a hated villain role, in my oppinion these characters should fall quickly because, if they stay in-character, they'll do the same things over and over again, just more pushy I guess. Besides, Jisha already noticed, so the whole thing is pointless.
Maybe the next version of him could simply be the annoying tutorial guy?
I do think you should focus on Syny starting to be aware of Jish's change, for now the other characters that play, should just be the sideshow, waiting to be introduced more in-depth later.
it does feel like he's pretty pointless.
i'll drop a teaser here - there is a keith-like character that is vital for jisha's character development in her 16-year-old first life, but it's probably way too early to introduce that.
thanks for response - rz
Friendly to neutral he is there with three cute girls after all.
looks like most people dont care about him, which is frankly what i expected. he'll probably be neutral in the rewrite. there will no doubt be some friendly character in the future :) thanks for reading - rz