Orion strolled over the thin wayward path through the woods. His boots rustled the autumn leaves beneath him. His eyes were glazed over in deep thought.
“Stew or a roast. Or maybe just a sandwich,” he said aloud, revealing the thoughts that dominated his mind.
The wind answered him, a howling gale momentarily stopping him in his path, brushing his long locks of black hair up.
“A stew it is,” he said, continuing along the path.
Minutes later, he was in the safe confines of his home. He was working a ball of dough, having decided to have bread with his stew. Kneading it skilfully, he worked fast, zooming around the kitchen with the dexterity of a housewife twice his age. Sprinting and tripping around his feet was a small bear cub with snow-white fur.
Even more minutes later, he was seated by his small oak table, scooping spoonful’s into his mouth. Eating out of its own bowl was the bear cub, digging into it face first. Orion’s eyes were glazed over as before, and he only came to when the bear nudged his hand, its fur now a murky yellow.
“Ti, can’t you eat with some decency?” Orion asked, flicking it across the forehead. Its head flung back, and it stared at Orion with glazed over eyes, not in thought but in lack of thought.
“Well, come on then. No way you’re allowed on the floor with paws like that,” he said, picking up Ti and putting it in its small bathtub.
As he was washing Ti, Orion’s mind flicked back to his past, something he had a bad habit of doing. His victory against the Piros and the foreigners had not only been decisive but also vicious. If there had been anyone in the Empire who hadn’t heard of him by then, they certainly had after the victory.
Ironically enough, he had promised himself a life of peace after that fight, but peace was the last thing anyone wanted to give him after that. The Zakari were destroyed, the Piros were crippled, and the Cruorems and Metoles were enfeebled; they had been the protectors of the Empire, and with them gone, the Empire crumbled faster than anyone would have thought. Many people found fault with Orion for this and so hounded after him, each and every one of them rushing to their deaths. Still, their numbers didn’t seem to decrease so Orion had hidden away in this Fae forest with Kora.
Their blooming romance had blossomed here, for a while at least. But then Kora had become disillusioned with him: she had fallen in love with the violent and vengeful Orion, not the calm and reserved Orion. Their romance was not meant to be, and once she realised this, she had left him, back to her family he guessed. She hadn’t told him that, as if he would chase her down or the sort.
Orion’s lips curled at this. It was quite the ego she had, to believe she had smitten him. Ducking his face into his arms, Orion dodged Ti’s deadly water attack, although he received wet hair in return. Lifting the protesting cub out of the water, he brought it to a length of cloth and began drying Ti, where he once again left for his thoughts.
She had left him a year ago now, maybe two – time worked weirdly in the Fae forest. Honestly, he had missed her presence for a while, but after he had found Ti in the forest, abandoned for whatever reason, his mind had naturally drifted off her.
He wondered how she was nowadays. She was likely being a murderous vampire with the rest of the Cruorems now. In fact, it was likely she was a ruler of whatever land they had managed to retain of the Empire, alongside the other Cruorems and Metoles. He had injured them the least, so while the Piros likely still existed, it was unlikely they were the ruling House anymore. As for the Zakaris, Orion had heard of one other emerging Zakari during his final days in the Empire, but by now, he wouldn’t be surprised if there were tens of Zakaris making waves in the new world.
At this time, Ti rubbed himself across Orion’s hand while softly purring. Breaking into a laugh, Orion began scratching the cub’s back, knowing Ti would soon fall asleep. As expected, the cub didn’t take long to start snoozing, its snores bouncing from the walls.
Leaving for the door, Orion left for a walk. Simultaneously, his mind strolled down memory lane. He had last seen Kasib when he had left the Empire how many ever years ago. The bald Seeker had, thankfully, treated him as ever. He hadn’t changed his attitude despite Orion’s power up, instead talking as freely as ever. Truth be told, this had pissed Orion off back then but now, having spent at least a year away from civilisation, he saw that as a blessing.
As for the foreigners, despite beating Shrien and destroying their teleporter, now that they had a taste for new, rich land, there had been no chance of them relenting. It had taken them a while but they eventually mapped out the route Shrien and Joiroa had taken to the Empire. From there, they had sent raiding ships and colonising ships.
Orion had watched the battles for a time, and once even intervened after Kora persuaded him, wiping out the foreigners on the battlefield. But after that, he had swiftly left with Kora in tow, heading for the Fae forest which lay past the southern reaches of the Empire, in the horsemen’s land.
Despite being surrounded by deserts of sun-burnt sand, the lush Fae forest thrived in its environment. Still, the horsemen never entered the forest, even during droughts, for they knew the Fae forest wasn’t natural and certainly not welcoming towards humans. Regardless, Orion and Kora had easily slipped past the horsemen and entered it.
From there the two had experienced the forest’s character first hand. The space inside warped constantly, trapping them in a maze they couldn’t leave as they repetitively returned to the same spot heedless of the direction they went. The inhabitants of the forest were vicious monsters of the highest power, and while they were usually apathetic to visitors, after the duo had survived for a few weeks, the monsters had been alarmed. They had started off with little tricks, like destroying food sources or by poisoning water, but afterwards they had come out of hiding and confronted the duo directly.
There were many peculiarities with the forest but only one thing was needed to surpass them all: power. And Orion had a lot of power. He had subdued the beasts with difficulty, but then had let them live to Kora’s disappointment. Then he had made friends with his foes, with Maertha the one-eyed Dragon, with Crilya the Bladestorm, with Syeb the three-eyed Troll, and so on. After Kora had left, he had become even better friends with them.
They would all be catastrophes if released into the Empire, including Orion, but they had all chosen the laid-back life instead. Nonetheless, Orion hadn’t been able to sever himself from his past completely. He had left in Kora’s hands a bell made of blood-infused ice. He had promised to leave the forest and come to the world’s rescue if she ever rung it.
Before, he had longed her to ring it every day, missing aspects of his previous life. But now he wished she never would as he had finally found his home.
The end.
Enjoyed most of the book to an extent, but I do have a few gripes after finishing. The last dozen or so chapters, while interesting, just felt rushed. They felt more like a summary of events than detailed occurrences. Orion as a character ended up being very 'meh'. He started out interesting, and I was hoping his characterization would keep growing and progressing. Instead his personality basically flatlined for the rest of the book. Kora actually seemed more interesting.
The ending was the major gripe. It felt about as satisfying to me as day old stale bread would compared to a full course meal. We don't find out why Yhaoli made such plans aside from 'more power, kill humans', we don't know anything about the foreign power, we don't know anything about the status of the Seekers Guild, we don't know what Kora is currently doing, and the list goes on for me.
You did well in gaining my interest into the world you've created, but the lack of more info is frustrating. I really hope you continue writing, I did enjoy it. I hope you take my criticism constructively, because I will keep reading if you post more work. My personal opinion and advice would be to keep consistent pacing, do a bit more world building/character building, and maybe less time skips. They can be a bit jarring, and leave you wondering what happened during. That would be a great time to build on inter-character interactions and growth.
This was long winded, sorry and thanks again. Also, this last chapter made me want to beat Orion into a pulp. Giving up on the girl who gave up her family and lifestyle to be with you without caring? Because you have a pet bear? Backhands for days :P
Keep on keeping on mate!
Hey Nakashea,
No need to worry about your comment causing offence, it was worded constructively and I can only see criticism, not any hate.
I'll take on your advice best I can, especially for my upcoming story (expect it in 2-3 months, LitRPG genre). Honestly, I appreciate the time you took to read my story and the effort you put into writing a comment to help me write better.
All the best!
aw come on... why can't they just get together and have li'l OP kids...?
Otherwise I liked the story a lot... sometimes a tad confusing with the several names but that's probably just me XD
Thanks for the story!
Hey Nico,
Thanks a lot for reading :D I'm very happy you enjoyed it.