Going out with Aiden or Cay as a “girl-shaped person” was nothing at all like going out with Aiden as a girl. 

Chris fidgeted nervously with the hem of his dress, feeling as though a hundred eyes were on him despite the relatively small number of people having lunch here.

‘They all know I’m a guy, a freak, a monster. If it wasn’t for my glamour, they’d be repelled by me. So would Aiden. He’s way too good for a girl like me.’

He bit his lip, sadness gnawing at his heart. 

Wait.

‘A girl like me? I’m not a girl. This is stupid. I should just tell Aiden to forget about this stupid plan and–’

“Chris? What’s wrong?” Aiden looked across the table at Christian, concern evident in his eyes. 

“N-Nothing, I’m fine, really. Totally fine,” Chris lied ‘convincingly’.

“I wanna take your word for it and trust you, but I can tell something is bothering you. Is it the people? We can go somewhere less crowded - or even just eat at home!” Aiden hurried to comfort Chris, reaching across the table and taking hold of his hand. 

Aiden’s touch was firm but comforting, his hand grasping her fingers, running a thumb over her knuckles. A reassuring gesture. All Chris wanted to do in that moment was pull him across the table and kiss him until he begged her to stop.

‘Him.’

He brought himself crashing back to reality through his desire.

“I’m… I’m supposed to be a guy and here I am like this, where everyone can see me, and it’s just not right, Aiden… you deserve a real woman that’ll treat you well.”

“That’s bullshit, Chris,” Aiden said in a firm, calm tone. “You’re just as ‘real’ as any other woman.”

“B-but I’m not a woman, I’m–” Chris began to protest.

“Chris, you can be a woman if you want to be. Cailyn and I will both support you, and you know Nate wouldn’t have a problem with it, considering… you know.”

Chris nodded slowly. The fact that Nathaniel had been born as Nathalie had been common knowledge around the Underground. It wasn’t something he ever tried to hide.

That was different though. Nathaniel was trans. Chris wasn’t. Right?

Just because he’d been wondering what it would be like to be a woman, to be Aiden’s woman, that was just normal for someone in his situation, right? 

‘Isn’t coming out as trans about finally getting to be open about your true self? Even if I could be a girl, I’d still have to hide myself from everyone… because demon girls aren’t exactly normal and socially acceptable.’

“Look, I get it, and I know I agreed to this date thing but… but nobody is going to see me as a–”

“Good afternoon, my name’s Trish and I’ll be your server. Can I get you two started off with some drinks, maybe an appetizer?” the waitress asked as she approached the table.

Chris cut off his thoughts and plastered on a fake smile. ‘Please, goddess, don’t let her realize I’m a man pretending to be a woman…’

“Hi there,” Aiden said pleasantly, smiling his charming smile at the waitress. “I’ll have a…”

A pang of something lanced briefly through his chest.

‘Is he flirting with her?’

‘Why wouldn’t he be? It’s not like he’s here with you. This isn’t a real date, remember? You’re not a real woman. She is, and–’

“Great, and for you, miss?” The waitress asked, looking at Chris.

“Uh- I… I’ll have an, uh… p-peach sweet tea?” Chris stammered.

The waitress jotted it down on her notepad. “Great, anything else for you two?”

Both Chris and Aiden shook their heads ‘no’, and Aiden politely said “No thanks.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back with your drinks then!” The waitress gave them a perfunctory smile and flitted off.

“Seems like she sure saw you as a woman,” Aiden said.

“H-huh? She was probably just being nice because it’s her job, I-I mean, and with the g-glamour of course she couldn’t tell the truth. Without that, everyone would be running screaming because there’s some monster in here, dressed up pretending to be a girl.”

“Is that how you see yourself, Chris? A monster playing pretend?” Aiden asked.

“Well… yeah, doesn’t everyone? My parents made sure that I knew exactly what I was when I was little. All I ever wanted was to be like my older sister. She’s so good at magic and she’s so sweet and kind…”

“Hey, woah woah woah… you’re sweet and kind when you wanna be, Chris, and you’re great at magic. I’ve seen the stuff you enchanted to help with your delivery runs, it’s great!”

“It’s not that great… besides, it’s not why I’m a monster.” Chris frowned, looking down at his folded hands on the table. Hair cascaded down around him, obscuring his peripheral vision.

“Chris, you’re not a monster… you’re–”

“No, I am!” Chris snapped, a little louder than intended. He quieted back to a whisper. “I inherited the curse from my mom’s side of the family, somehow.”

“Curse?” Aiden asked.

“Yeah… um, mom’s great-great-great-great something grandma must have struck a bargain with something dark, for power, you know, and the bargain was that every second-born daughter would belong to that ‘something dark’. My aunt had it. Mom and Dad had Kelsey, and they were so glad she would be spared. Then I was born, and they were excited because I was a boy, so I wouldn’t suffer the curse… until it showed up. It started small. Seeing ghosts and stuff. My parents told me it was all in my head. Ignore them. But it kept getting worse as I got older.”

The waitress returned with their drinks, placing them down and politely taking their orders.

“You were saying?” Aiden asked after the awkward intermission.

“Yeah… by the time I was around nine or ten, it wasn’t just seeing spirits anymore. I could call them. I could control them. I was just a stupid kid, so I thought it was fun to have these happy friendly ghosts that would do whatever I asked. Right up until I was angry with my dad after an argument and I asked one to beat him up. He needed serious magical healing after that.”

“Holy shit,” Aiden muttered.

“Yeah. After that, they had some special seal put in place on my body to stop my powers from working. Something they didn’t want to do because of what it did to my aunt when she had it done.”

“What’d it do to your aunt?” he asked.

“She got depressed. Started saying stuff like ‘he’s angry’ and ‘he’s coming for me’. Screaming for hours at random intervals. Started seeing things that weren’t there, according to them. So they sent her to a magisterium.”

“Seriously? Why not just remove the thing stopping her powers and causing her to go mad?” Aiden looked dumbfounded, leaning back in his chair.

“They did. It got worse after that. People around her started getting sick. Three people in her apartment complex and every plant in the building died before the magical authorities picked her up. She’s still there, locked in a special cell to keep her energy contained.”

“Shit, so they think you have the same curse?” Aiden asked, visibly paler now.

“Yeah,” Chris frowned. He’d seen this look before. Once people knew the truth about him, about what he might become, they were terrified of him.

“But you still have your mark, right? You haven’t gone crazy or anything, so you might be fine.”

“Yeah, as long as I have it and I’m stable, I guess it’s fine.”

“Yeah,” Aiden agreed. “Even if something does happen, I promise I’ll stick with you to help find a way out of it, Chris.”

Those words sent warmth fluttering through his stomach and lower areas. “Y-You mean it?”

“Of course,” Aiden smiled.

“Thanks, Aiden,” Chris said, blushing.

“Heh, you’re cute when you blush, Chris.”

He blushed even harder in response. “S-stop, jeez… you’re so corny…” 

“Sorry, sorry. I just get carried away with pretty girls.” He winked playfully at Chris.

“Wha-what?! Come on! Jeez, Aiden!” he swatted Aiden’s arm lightly. “Besides, we were having a serious conversation and now you’re being flirty!”

“Right, sorry again, keep going.”

“Uh, well, that’s basically it. As long as the mark’s on my body and I’m not going out of my mind, I guess we’re safe.”

“...Chris?” Aiden’s expression grew troubled.

“What?” he asked, suddenly worried.

“Your mark isn’t on your body anymore. You died. That body is gone.”