PunchlinePress

I'm very sorry to all of you who are following the story for the long delay. I've been dealing with mental gremlins, and just now got some content ready to roll out. Hopefully things are better going forward. With love, Punchline

Ashe sat behind the wheel in the parking lot outside the airport. She had intended to go inside to pick up her sister, but that was before she’d gotten an unexpected visitor. The moment the car came to a complete stop and was shifted into park, she appeared in the passenger seat without warning.

The woman’s thin, hawkish features were made more severe by her dark hair pulled back into a tightly woven braid. Her skirt suit was so immaculately well-pressed that it could well have been the first time it was ever worn. Altogether, it gave her a very imposing presence.

“Good morning, Ms. Gray,” the woman announced dryly.

“Holy shit!” Ashe exclaimed eloquently.

“Indeed,” the woman quirked a brow.

“Who are you and why are you in my car?” Ashe demanded, feeling far less confident than she was trying to sound.

“Marigold MacDougal. I’m with the Department of Magical Concealment.”

‘Oh. Oh shit. I’ve heard stories about them. Am I about to get black-bagged and disappear because I exposed magic?’ Ashe’s thoughts spun into an immediate downward spiral.

“Calm down, Ms. Gray. I am only here to talk, for now. Think of this as a preliminary verbal interview to determine if further action is required.”

Ashe tried to still the tornado of thoughts in her skull, but was met with only mild success.

“Tell me, Ms. Gray, about your intentions with the recent use of magic in the public eye.”

“My… intentions?” Ashe gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I mean… the Underground was on fire. I had to put it out. If I had waited for the fire department, Nathaniel might have…”

The woman looked Ashe over critically. “I see, and in your attempts to rescue one Nathaniel Owens, you did not seek to maliciously expose the existence of magic to the observing non-magical spectators?”

“What? No, of course not!” Ashe protested. “I just didn’t want my friends to die!”

Marigold remained quiet for a time, her impassive features an unreadable mask as she made eye contact with Ashe, who was unable to break that moment of connection.

It felt as if every little detail about her was being read over like a document. The entire process felt incredibly invasive, leaving her feeling like she needed a dozen showers just to be clean again, and even that might not be enough.

“I see,” Marigold said after a moment. “In that case… I think a period of six months of observation is enough to verify your innocence in this case, Ms. Gray. Effective immediately. We’ll be watching.” 

Ashe opened her mouth to protest, but Marigold MacDougal was suddenly gone. 

‘Fuck! Observation for six months? Guess it works out that we’ll still be doing reconstruction all that time,’ Ashe thought, staring at the bustling airport ahead of her without really seeing it.

A sharp chime brought her back to reality. Her phone flashing on the dash with texts.

[Hey little brother, where are you? I’m at baggage claim, waiting!]

[Hello?]

[Little Brother! You said you’d be here to pick me up…]

[You better not still be sleeping in!]

She groaned and shot a quick text back. [Hey, sorry sis. OMW in now.]

The message was flagged as ‘read’, followed by another message from her sister.

[Good! See you soon! xx]

Ashe dropped her phone into her purse and climbed out of the car. This was it. The big reveal to her family. 

She wasn’t sure why her nerves were so on edge. She’d defeated an ancient demon, damnit!

She’d opted for her more traditional attire - some magically refitted pieces of her old male garb: some ratty old jeans, a faded Legend of Zelda shirt, and her trusty converse. Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail to get it up off her neck, and she’d kept the makeup minimal.

Before she realized it, she was standing amidst the crowd of travelers, waiting at the baggage claim to catch sight of her sister. 

It was hard not to recognize her. The two were easily related - looking nearly identical now, spare some minor differences. Ashe took a deep, calming breath before approaching her. 

“Hi, Kelsey.”

The girl looked up from her phone, staring into an unfamiliar yet uncannily familiar face. “Who…? Do I know you?”

‘It’s now or never,’ Ashe told herself, tightening the grip on her messenger bag strap. “Er… yeah. It’s uh… it’s Christian. Hi.”

Kelsey stared at Ashe for a moment, then grinned. “Is this some kind of prank? Did my little brother put you up to this? The resemblance is really impressive! I’d almost believe you really are him!” she laughed.

“It really is me,” Ashe stressed. “We can talk about it in the car or back at my place, Kells.” 

Kelsey’s laughter cut short. “Wait… but he’s the only one that calls me that…”

“Yeah, I know I am. Do you wanna learn more or are you gonna stand here in the terminal all weekend?”

Kelsey was still for a moment longer, before shaking herself out of her stupor and grabbing her suitcase.

The tension in the air during the car ride home was so thick it could have been treated as a driving hazard. Many times, Kelsey tried to break it, to ask a question, but it died unspoken, and the tension intensified. 

Ashe wanted to break it - to talk about the situation, to find out how Kelsey was going to take this. Kelsey certainly seemed like she wanted to discuss it, but Ashe was worried that pushing her before Kelsey found the right words would only worsen the situation.

It wasn’t until they stepped through the door to Ashe’s apartment that Kelsey seemed to find the words she was looking for.

“So… are you really Christian?” Kelsey asked nervously.

“I go by Ashelynn now - Ashe for short - but yeah, it’s me.”

“But you seem so… different.” Kelsey drew closer, inspecting Ashe’s every feature.

“It’s because I’m happier now. I never realized how much of my misery came from what I looked like before, and from the way I had been made to feel about my magical gifts.”

“So all this time I didn’t have a little brother, but… a little sister?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Ashe laughed nervously, “guess so.”

Kelsey took a moment to digest that. “Fuck… god dammit, Chr– er, Ashe… all that time…”

Ashe felt a knot clench in her stomach. Was she going to freak out?

“All that time I could have had a little sister to spoil and tease and teach how to do makeup and hair and all that stuff!” 

Ashe’s jaw dropped.

“Well, judging by how you look right now you’ve gone and learned that all without me. Completely unacceptable. You and I are going to have a serious talk about sister etiquette while we go shopping.”

“Wha… you… you’re not upset? You aren’t going to call me a freak?” Ashe stammered.

“What? I’m totally upset. You didn’t even text me to tell me I had a sister now! You just kept letting me misgender you! Jerk!” She swatted Ashe’s arm playfully. 

Ashe felt a smile break out on her face, and she couldn’t help but giggle. “Sorry, Kells. I was just… afraid you’d take it badly. Like mom and dad probably will.”

“Mom and dad aren’t together anymore,” Kelsey stated evenly.

“What? When did that happen!?”

“About six months ago. Dad was going off on one of his rants about how the LGBTQs were ruining the world of magic by demanding non-gendered titles like “casters” instead of “witches” and “wizards”... Mom finally had enough of it and told him to move out. I guess it was the last straw on a whole haystack of marital issues.”

Ashe let that all sink in. Dad was gone? Mom took a stand? Holy shit.

“Wait… but what if she’s still pissed when she finds out about me?”

“She won’t be,” Kelsey reassured her. “And even if somehow she was, we’d still have each other. I’ll love you, brother or sister.”

That broke her. Ashe felt tears build and quickly overflow as she flung her arms around Kelsey and hugged her.

“Get a grip you two,” Cailyn chided as she crawled out from her hiding place under the couch.

“Cay!” Aiden crawled out after her. “Be nice, they’re having a moment!”

“Yeah, yeah… she’s just lucky she’s accepting or I’d have kicked her ass!” Cailyn growled.

“Calm down, Cay,” Ashe said, wiping her eyes.

“Why… do you have two Knot Things under your sofa, Chr– Ashe?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time,” Kelsey said as she took a seat on the couch. 

“Alright,” Ashe sighed, sinking down into the armchair across from her. “Where do I begin?”

By the time Ashe finished telling her the story, the sky outside had already shifted from bright afternoon to darkening evening. They’d taken a short break to order in some Chinese food, which they were eagerly splitting four ways. 

“So, you two are here with Ashe, what about your boss and the other Knot Thing that Ashe mentioned?” Kelsey asked between forkfuls of rice.

“Still at the Underground - the magical side of it,” Aiden explained.

“Yeah, something about watching how it develops or something,” Cailyn chimed in.

“How are you doing through all this, Cay? Shouldn’t you be a fucking wreck?” Kelsey asked, having learned a surprising amount following their retelling of events. 

“Probably,” Cailyn agreed. “Nate’s theory is that all the traumatic memories of the stuff I actually did for Boucher are sealed in the other-knot-me. I still remember what I did, but none of the emotions tied to it. Just the guilt of knowing I did it. It makes it easier to endure, I guess. I’m trying not to think about it too much. I’m basically a murderer, even if I wasn’t in my right mind when I did those things.”

Aiden put an arm around her shoulders in a brotherly hug and pulled her against him. “You know we’re here for you, sis.”

“Yeah, wish you two had been there for me when it was happening… but it’s whatever.”

Ashe flinched, feeling the sting of her words. “Sorry, Cay… I just got so caught up in what was going on with me and then the stuff with Aiden that I kinda… forgot to be a good friend.”

“It’s fine,” Cay said with a venom that suggested it wasn’t really, “but hey I’m glad everything worked out fine for you in the end.”

Ashe frowned, hoping that their friendship wasn’t damaged beyond repair… but fearing that it was.

“Well… that awkwardness aside… what are you three going to do until your bodies are back and the Underground is rebuilt?” Kelsey asked.

“Nate agreed to pay us for the time off. I’m going to help with the rebuilding though, and reorganizing things,” Ashe said. 

“That’s really nice of him,” Kelsey smiled. “Guess that means I can’t tell mom you decided to find a ‘respectable’ job yet, huh?”

“Actually, I’ve been thinking… after the repairs are done, I might go into business as partners with Nate. I think I can hire out my services to help deal with restless spirits and cursed artifacts.” 

Everyone’s eyes (or eye-facsimiles) widened. 

“Woah, really?” Aiden asked.

“Yeah. I mean, I did it for all the souls in the crypts and in Boucher… why not other places?” Ashe shrugged.

“Wow… that’s actually pretty cool,” Cay admitted begrudgingly. “Maybe you’ll be able to help the next girl that gets possessed.”

“Yeah… maybe. It’s part of why I wanted to do this. I felt like I owed it to your memory, or something.”

Cay folded her plush arms. “Don’t do something like that because you feel guilty. Do it because you wanna help, or whatever.”

Ashe smiled. “Yeah… that’s the other part of why I wanted to do it. I wanna help people - living and dead.”

“Looks like my little sister is way cooler than my little brother already,” Kelsey teased.

“Hey! I’ve always been cool!” Ashe laughed, shoving her sister playfully.

As the evening drew to a close, Ashe set up the couch for Kelsey, then headed to her own bedroom to get some sleep. She was exhausted, but relieved her sister had taken it so well.

Out in the darkness of the living room, Kelsey held her phone, tapping a message to their mother.

[Hey, mom… you’ll never believe what I found out today~]