I, Seewon

21 years old male

had no meaning in life.

I lost hope after getting kicked out of my parent's house at the age of 19 for screwing every job offer I got.

I didn't have any friends to turn to...

And I didn't have a hobby or a decent lifestyle after moving into my uncle's house.

I'm eternally grateful to my uncle but I just can't fill this emptiness in my chest...

Then I fell into a deep depression...And planned to take my life many times but didn't have the guts to do so.

So I lived day by day wondering if something new would happen to me that would motivate me to continue living but everything seemed so boring that I started to read mangas to forget about reality...

I knew I was an idiot for hating the reality I was in while I didn't make a single change.

Then one day while walking to a local store nearby my uncle's house I got hit by some drunk driver.

It hurt at first and then...

Everything went black.

I was surrounded by darkness that felt cold and I noticed that I didn't have a physical body, only my consciousness.

I was scared at the thought of this being afterlife

Was this all there is in the afterlife?

I don't know how much time passed but I bet it was a very long time.

And then I somehow figured how to move without a physical body.

I continued moving forward because I didn't have anything else to do

so I moved and moved and as time passed I stopped thinking.

I don't know was that a defense mechanism so I didn't go insane or something...

and honestly, it was fine by me as long as I kept moving into the nothingness

just like I did while I was alive...

And then something extraordinary weird happened.

It blinded me for a second but I'm sure...

I saw a light ahead and that snapped me back.

Should I go near it?

Is my mind playing tricks on me?

...What am I thinking, even if it was my imagination at least I see something else besides this darkness

I wasn't so scared anymore.

Then the light started to move around and slowly it started to make a shape...

It became a door that emitted light.

...I felt like it was my ticket to freedom

so I sprinted towards it.

The closer I got the heavier I felt but I didn't care.

I just wanted this all to end.

As I was reaching my hand that I didn't see physically everything went blank.

And when I opened my eyes I saw myself in a place that had many different colors everywhere.

It was like I was an astronaut in space.

Then I realized I am really in space that had TRILLIONS of stars above me with different colors, but no planets or anything except a really big star that looked like it was him who opened that glowing white door for me.

It was beautiful.

It had all the colors that I could think of.

It was fascinating.

And while watching it in awe I was hit with the thought "How could I breathe if I was really in space?" so I started scanning my body in a panic.

...I was some sort of blue fog.

And as I was scanning I noticed that below me were others like me.

they had all the characteristics that I had.

But why was I above than them?

I don't know

"Must be because I'm better than them haha..."

There were just as many of them as the stars, maybe even more.

And now that I had taken a look at my surroundings I wanted to greet them somehow...

but I couldn't move for some reason.

There was nothing I could do except stay still.

I had to do something.

I couldn't just stay still as if I was in some prison.

As more time passed I started counting the starts that I could see.

I forgot many times how much I counted but kept counting.

and then I noticed far away below me, the other one that looked like me started somehow but surely floating at a low speed towards the stars.

I wondered what could happen if the stars touches him...

Even though I couldn't talk or move an inch, I cheered him on in my mind and hoped he would touch one of the stars.

but when he was slightly above me I saw him exploding.

It broke him into millions of pieces as if it was glass that got hit by a hammer.

I was scared of what could happen to me if I was able to move and get close to one of the stars.

Many of them then learned how to float towards the stars but ended up exploding just like the ones before...

I couldn't care less what happened to others as long as I survive because even if this place wasn't cold or dark, this place reminded me of a jungle where only the strong ones survive and the weak get eliminated.

I wasn't in no place to think of others if I wanted to survive.

I wanted to do something about it but I just couldn't figure how to float...

As the time passed, slightly below me someone same looking as I started to an inch, by inch to float towards the stars.

As he was floating, he grazed me when he went up past me but of course, he ended up meeting the same fate as others...

After he exploded I noticed something

the place where he grazed me started to glow like glitter and I guessed it means I can float unlike before...

It didn't work at first but I practiced moving in my mind so if by any chance I would move in reality and then float above the stars.

After a while, I learned how to float but it was really slow, but at least it was something right?

after a long practice session, I was floating at a decent speed now, even though it took a long time.

After that, I started to float towards the stars above too just like others.

You might call me stupid but I'd rather explode than be kept in one place forever.

after floating quite a bit I was at the point where I could explode

but...

I didn't want to be weak anymore...

I wanted to be just as strong as the stars...

...no, I wanted even more.

The others always reached the small stars but I wanted to challenge myself one last time

So I chose the big star that amazes me every time I look at it.

It was a star that matches the size of a moon

And on top of that, it was far away.

but I had all the time in my hands so why not?

...It took me an eternity to finally reach the king of stars (big star)

but I couldn't touch it yet...

At some point, I started to feel this weird sensation...

...Is this pain?

As I was thinking what it was I felt suddenly like my mind was breaking.

I was scared if it's about the time I explode, and excited because I felt pain for the first time in a while

And that excitement kept me going.

After floating some time while feeling the pain, I noticed I had white cracks all over my fog body

..."Is this how they exploded..?

They kept moving even when they noticed they had cracks..?

...I have to do better than them if I want to go further than any of them.

Now when I reached the star, I tried to touch it

but was interrupted by this gravitational pull that kept me from touching it.

after that, it started to break my foggy body by...

It felt like my upper limbs and upper limbs were getting pulled by horses in different directions.

It hurt so much that I couldn't control my foggy body anymore so I fell.

I was about fall into the black where I once was.

Why me?

Where did it all go wrong?

Why am I so unlucky?

I didn't ask any of this!

I watched the king of stars as I was falling...

I can't accept it...

"HELL NO I WILL!"

Before I lost consciousness

I grabbed one of the fogs before it was too late and started climbing up.

while I was thinking of a plan to reach the king of stars I noticed I was hit by light projectiles everywhere but I was too fast for them since I was in space so I could easily float jump while climbing.

While I was climbing I noticed that every fog I encountered had some sort of core inside the chest.

"Would it hurt them if I take it out of them..?"

"Well it doesn't matter to me anyway if they die from it"

So out of curiosity, I tried storing them inside my body in case it does something.

At first, I didn't notice much but after devouring them quite a bit I started to feel different.

I felt like I was more powerful and more agile than before

I figured that it was some sort of energy source that helps the one who devoured them get stronger and stuff.

After eating them enough I wanted to test my theory of using all the cores energy I've been storing to use it on my flying ability all at once.

After reaching the top, smug in my face I tested my theory...

And it worked.

I was gonna touch it fast before he realizes since I didn't want to feel that pain again...

But I forgot how unlucky bastard I was.

The king star started to teleport and fire every minute some sort of energy blades towards me and each time I was hit by them I got more hurt and that resulted in me getting more slower.

It took at least hundreds of years before I learned how to counterattack them.

And as a plus, I learned how to do it too.

I had to focus on my palms and connect the cores in my chest and swing my arms or else I would get hurt too.

Finally, when our long battle was coming to an end, I touched the star.

Everything just went blank.

And then I fell asleep.