The wind was cold. I've lived under the White Mountains for the past 18 years, however today was the first I had felt such cold winds. After seven days and nights have passed by, I was now walking on that uphill road again. That slow slope when you climb up or go down was no different from before. That incline of a road that I had went up at least once a day for deliveries. The road that once had those merry, boisterous people that waved at me while I rode my snowboard, although there was always a few that swore insults. However, despite it being daytime, it was very quiet as if it was in the middle of the night.
Besides me was a tall man with a face all too similar with mine walking.

Many of the people had said this when they first saw him – I didn't know that Fabian's father was alive, but the fact that such a wonderful father existed for example, they resemble each other so well that anyone could recognize who the father and who the son is, and……. so far as to even say that it would be better to live with him than my mother. What exactly do they really want to say?
My outer appearance hardly resembled anything of my mother.

I wonder where all those people that busily travelled along here had gone to? The fact that it was too quiet was as if I was in a dream.

"Fabian."

Now, there's only one person here walking besides me that could call my name.

"Yes."

"Would you like it… …if I wasn't at your side?"

I raised my head and stared at the person's face who spoke those words. Those keen eyes and the shape of his nose, such a face looked like a sharp, carved knife. That noble impression that doesn't belong in this kind of village at all, and that splendid attire.
Did I really look like that? But then, that dark-blue hair, and those pupils… my bloodline that I couldn't deny.

"… No."

"…… you don't speak much."

Ah, that's the first time I heard such words in my life.
My 'father' who doesn't know what kind of person his son is at all.
My 'father' that had never held my hand once.
I wonder how the feelings of a man that had longed for his lost love  for 18 years would be like. It really is a hard problem to guess.
I wonder if that feeling would be similar to a person that had lost his mother who loved her son dearly for 18 years.

And I wonder how he would feel to see his son not officially say 'father' once.
Do I have the right to make this person more distressed than he currently is?
We were both, whether who came first or not, grieving and heartbroken.

The village, in short, was devastated.
Although there were some houses that weren't destroyed, the majority had collapsed, and there was no homes that could be determined as livable. Over there was carpenter Nasret's home, over there was the aunty that sold steamed sweet potatoes, and over there was also the famed grandfather Rayane that no one could imitate shoe shop that made shoes out of leather.
Everything was bitterly destroyed.

One more slope and we will be at our store.
The majority of the corpses in Ember were cleaned up by the villagers at Grillard, and tonight would be the one dinner when we hold the mass funeral.  Of course, my mother's corpse was already at Ember.
The reason why this funeral was delayed was because the Lord's family had fled and was late in returning back. No, I should say that in present tense not past tense. Since they are not returning now either.
Unable to stop waiting as the corpses might rot away, all the village chiefs had decided to gather and perform the funeral. Well, village chiefs… were of Ember and Grillard. Habiyanak was now a village that had ceased to exist, and Sedenborum was one that only had 10 or so survivors left.
A good reason why people agreed to have a joint funeral service was…… since there were so many families that didn't have a single relative left.
As if they were buried under the season. No, they were just forgotten as if they hadn't existed originally.
I stopped in my tracks. There was a truth that I thought long and hard about last night.

"Can……."

I hesitated. It wasn't an easy task. This wasn't a word I had spoken once while I lived.
We both stopped walking. The store sign had collapsed, and I looked up at 'Big Deer's General Store' roof which was blown away. It would've been nice if I could skip over there happily.
He started to meet my gaze.

"I……call you that?"

I had deliberately avoided using that exact word. However, he understood even though I hadn't said it.
His face cleared up for once. For the first time.

"Of course."

Right. I shouldn't have the right to hurt you just because I was hurt. To determine who was more agonized by this is a foolish thing to do. You probably tried, although I'm not sure if you did your best, you still spent some time trying to look for us.
There could be a different reason as to why you hadn't married yet. It could also be because a problem occurred that made you unable to marry as well. But, still, aren't I your one and only blood relative??
You could probably have been busy with other stuff, looking around for our mother and son while searching the entire continent. Or you could've been stopped by a relative that persuaded you to give up. What can they say now that you have found me?
Since you arrived so late, I would never hear you shout mother's name 'Ijinz!' once, although I would hear you speak of  'Ijinz' whenever you mention her. Although this long period is not enough to reward you with that, but now it's unavoidable right?
Mother, you, who wanted to be a wife initially, had a child and raised him with love for 18 whole years, right?
So I will call this person the name that I couldn't say for 18 years. Mother, you won't hate me too much for this, right?

"Father……."

TL Afterword

That gloomy atmosphere should now end here! Whew, finally. I was gloomy enough!

PR Afterword

About time for some payback!

Translator: Calvis
Proofreader: Sai101