When discovered that I was pregnant for the first time, to my shame, I only felt annoyed.

 

I could only think about all of the business that I would lose as a result of an enlarged belly.

 

Fortunately, my agent at the time convinced me to give the idea of abortion. There was a certain niche of influential people that get excited by the idea of plowing a pregnant woman they are not married to. Whatever passed through their heads for having this kind of taste was something that I didn’t want to know back then, and I don’t want to know now.

 

Like that the months passed and I experienced all of the usual stages of pregnancy. Hyperactive hormones, cravings, mood swings, body pains, and so on.

 

Until the day of the birth.

 

I can’t remember exactly how much time I was in labor, although later I was told that it lasted roughly five hours, I manage to give birth without any complications or real problems.

 

At first, when it was over I could feel relief that the pain had stopped and was glad that I wouldn’t have to pass through that again, but the moment that I first saw the face of my first daughter...

 

...my mind went completely blank.

 

I swear, for a second I actually forgot how to breathe.

 

I couldn’t believe that such a small and delicate creature had come out of me.

 

That something that looked so pure and beautiful could be born from me.

 

My emotions were a complete mess at that moment. I remember little more than a lot of crying, from me and the baby, caused by an uncontrollable amount of strong and overwhelming emotions.

 

The moment I first held my baby daughter, Anna, I felt that I wouldn’t be able to let her go ever.

 

It was a cliche thing to say, and I, unfortunately, know that not all mothers would feel exactly the same, but the moment my eyes landed on her, I felt that I wouldn’t be able to love anything or anyone more in my entire life.

 

All of my experiences from before paled in comparison to that moment.

 

I didn’t know exactly what I felt at that moment, but it didn’t take too much time for me to figure out what it meant. It meant that I would care for and protect that beautiful baby in my arms for the rest of my life.

 

After giving birth I experienced a period of time when almost nothing happened around me, for both my body and mind rested from the stressful experience that is giving birth.

 

The people around me, my manager, businessmen, and others, wanted me to simply give Anna to a nanny or something and resume our activities, but I was adamant about spending time with my daughter. It was the first time I displayed such a strong opinion in regard to something and by that point, I had already managed to gather enough popularity that it was impossible to ignore my opinion, so I manage to secure a couple of months of rest with my daughter.

 

I enjoyed my time with my sweet little girl more than I could ever describe. I was both terrified and excited to discover all the things necessary to take care of a baby. Of course, it wasn’t always perfect, with her sometimes waking in the middle of the night or crying over something that I couldn’t initially understand.

 

Even so, those moments still were some of the most fulfilling of my life.

 

As time passed and I played with my daughter, I couldn’t help but think as well about the world I was bringing my daughter into, or more precisely, the world that I lived in.

 

I couldn’t stand the idea that I might taint that little girl with the corruption and depravity that was my day-to-day life. I even thought for a moment that maybe it would be for the best to give her to a family looking to adopt, but in the end, I couldn’t bring myself to accept the idea to be away from her.

 

In the end, I decided to try my best to keep my daughter away from the world in which I lived. I would essentially live a double life, one to raise my baby girl and another to earn the money for our life by exposing myself to the world and fulfilling the depraved requests of the people that industry was made.

 

But things changed after my second pregnancy.

 

If it was only Anna then there still was a possibility for me to separate my two lives, but with Rina’s birth, I didn’t have confidence that I would be able to manage.

 

That’s when I had the idea to contact Takahiko, Takashi’s father.

 

With his help, I manage to eventually break away from my previous life, getting away from the leach that I called father, from the persistent perverts that didn’t give up on me, the unwanted attention of stalkers, and all of the rest of that life.

 

But that wasn’t easy, and even with Takahiko’s help I only managed to completely get away when Rina was ten years old.

 

Despite that ordeal, I managed to gain a few tricks from that shameful life, and one of them was how to grasp the nature of a man through pleasure.

 

When Takashi made his confession yesterday I was shaken to my core. I thought that my actions in a moment of weakness had somehow broken my son and that he would become like those men from my previous life.

 

Just the idea of that happening was enough to break my heart.

 

But then, instead of taking advantage of my shaken state, he guided me to my bed and said it was for the better if I rested. There were people in my past that have done similar things, but I was always able to tell that they were just trying to get on my good side. They didn’t really care for my well-being. But with Takashi was different. I could tell that he was genuinely worried about me.

 

That left me utterly speechless.

 

Perhaps I had always been a little cautious of him, without not even realizing it. Perhaps a part of my subconscious believed that anyone outside of my daughters would only want to take advantage of me, which caused me to easily doubt that Takashi’s feelings for me, making me believe that he would just lust after me as most people had before.

 

Regardless of the reason, I had to make sure that he wasn’t simply being dominated by his hormones, someone like the men that knew, or if he was being genuine with his feelings.

 

I wanted to believe that he was being sincere or being ruled by his active hormones, for both my and my daughter's sake, but I had to be sure, even if he was just a twelve-year-old boy, and if he was then I would help him outgrown that phase of his life. After all, it wasn’t exactly normal for a boy to feel attracted to his stepmother...

 

...right?

 

That’s why I acted like I did last night, attacking him without any talk or explanation. But for some reason when he actually pushed me away from his penis and showed me that expression of genuine concern, something inside of me melted.

 

Suddenly I felt like pleasing just for the sake of it. Not to test him, but because I wanted him to feel good.

 

As I looked at his sleeping face, all those thoughts passed through my head. Despite knowing how I should have felt, I was completely at ease with this situation. I didn’t feel disgusted, ashamed, or even shaken by what I did last night.

 

I was strangely at peace with this.

 

I couldn’t help but laugh mockingly at myself a little.

 

‘Maybe I’m really broken’

 

As I continued to look at my sweet boy sleeping, the rays of light started to enter the room and I finally realized that it was probably for the best for me to wake him.

 

‘I really don’t want to explain this situation to Anna and Rina right now. And I get the feeling that Takashi doesn’t want that either’

 

I was about to shake him a little when something caught my attention. A small mountain was located where his crotch was located.

 

I could not help but smile wryly at that situation.

 

‘Well, he is a growing boy. I wonder if this is happening just because of a physiological reason or if he is having a naughty dream’

 

Just as that thought passed through my head an idea suddenly formed in my head.

 

‘Hehehe, maybe I should give him an extra good reason to wake up’