Leaving Katia and Cheri behind, Vella could only think: It’s in the gods’ hands, now.

Which, if she were to go by historical precedent, meant she was fucked.

The morbid thought came in more of a rueful way than a depressed one. As established, Vella was no stranger to bumpy patches in her life. And while Katia’s rejection stung – and Vella held no delusions that it wasn’t that, just politely phrased – she’d at least managed to force her mind off it. She had other things to worry about. Mountains, in fact.

She wandered a short distance away and sat on a nearby bench. She’d check back with Katia and Cheri, but presumably they’d be able to spot her when they were done having their conversation – whatever form that might be taking.

Vella needed to take a moment to think. To take inventory of herself and her situation. Analyze potential ways forward, assuming the worst happened.

Funds, first. Clearing the first Cascade had left her reasonably well off, insofar as survival went. A Beginner’s Guide had given an approximate value of each of the different-colored essences. Looking at her inventory, Vella had forty-four blue essence and six red – red being the tier above blue. So, broken down, 104 blue essence, red being worth ten of its smaller denomination. That much, when converted to actual currency, would be enough to live comfortably for a year in the Serenity, but here?

A few weeks, tops? Less?

Essence was valuable, but the hard part was getting it back to the Serenity. You could set up an arrangement in many of the major Tower cities to have your essence sent back on someone else’s effort, but you’d need to expect close to a seventy-five percent ‘convenience’ few. And the extortionist rate made sense, because the only people utilizing that service were those who couldn’t clear through the third Cascade themselves: low-tier delvers. People whose opinion and outrage frankly didn’t matter.

And it didn’t solve her problem of wanting out of the Tower, eventually.

So she’d need to have things figured out in no more than a few weeks, else she’d run out of essence, the de-facto currency of the Tower. Well – a bit longer, assuming she pawned off some of the gear she found. But, pausing to think about that, most of it was garbage, and she doubted the rates it would fetch, considering the sheer surplus that must exist. After all, everyone here had cleared at least one first-tier Cascade: and thus had accrued a roughly equivalent amount of the low-tier items Vella had.

So, a few weeks was probably right: the items in her inventory were likely worthless. But she’d prefer to spend as little time preparing as possible, because every day that passed was sending money down the drain – money she’d need to earn back by risking her life in further Cascades. 

Hopefully she knew the team situation with Katia by the end of today, because if things turned out poorly – which Vella had all but resigned herself to – she’d need to start looking into local guilds as soon as she could.

It’d be a hard sell, trying to get someone to accept her. Easier than back in the Serenity, because she’d at least half-proved herself by clearing the first Cascade, but still not easy. Certainly, she wouldn’t be accepted by anything remotely resembling Katia’s guild. It would be some shack in the wall, most likely, and her teammates would be those in similar situations to the one Vella was in, untrained amateurs who, for one reason or another, had winded up in the Tower out of desperation.

Or maybe she could manage something better. Katia had been clear Vella’s class was exceptional, maybe even more than exceptional. And when it came to life or death situations, surely she’d find a group willing to look past its awkward requirements.

But that was also scary in its own right. Vella knew very well she could be taken advantage of. Had lived her entire life looking over her shoulder. District fourteen’s crime rates had never been a pretty thing, and Mom, before her passing, had done an excellent job instilling fear for the kinds of dangers that lurked at night or in dark alleyways. What lust could lead to. And Vella’s whole class was based on lust.

Vella rubbed the sides of her arms, not looking forward to her future.

Maybe if things didn’t work out with Katia, Katia could still help her. A recommendation, maybe, into her guild. That might be hoping for too much, but it was worth an ask. It’d be humiliating, but pride had always been for people secure in their positions. Not people like Vella and Dad, who had spent their lives struggling to keep a roof over their heads.

Vella had done worse, let worse happen to her, than ask for help from someone who had rejected her. She’d become well-acquainted with swallowing her pride.

And all of this, the fact Vella would even ask for help, made her feel even more like garbage because of something she'd very carefully been neglecting to mention:

If, somehow, she was accepted into Katia’s team, Vella had no intentions in sticking it out for the long term, past the third Cascade. Which Katia had surely taken for granted: she hadn't even brought it up. As a generational, someone who’d lived and breathed delving her entire life, practically worshipped it, the concept of a ‘three-and-done’ delver probably wasn’t even in her lexicon. A blind spot Vella was taking advantage of.

Vella wasn't … like Katia. Someone determined to reach the darkest depths of the Tower, claim the strength to change the world.

She wasn’t a world-changer. She was just some girl.

And even if she wanted to be, even if she succeeded, claimed the power she needed from the Tower, positioned herself in a way she could make change …

There was just too much wrong. To fix. With everything. The futility in trying seemed comical to her.

She was pretty sure she knew why she saw things that way. Her hopelessness in a best effort not being enough. 

Because Dad had tried, and he'd failed. And he'd only needed to save two of them, himself and her. He'd put everything he'd had into it … and still ended up behind bars, Vella fending for herself.

And his struggle had been so small, so mundane. Just had to make ends meet … she'd seen him work his fingers to the bone, till he swayed on his feet, months in a row.

Not enough.

If someone like Dad couldn't win a small battle, Vella sure as fuck couldn't win a big one.

So, third Cascade and out.

What a wonderful betrayal that was going to be. Vella knew that was what it would be, even if Katia hadn't brought it up, and Vella thus hadn't lied.

The one upside to Katia’s potential rejection. It'd solve that problem.

Vella sighed, thoughts spiraling.

Stewed for a while.

Someone plopped down next to her.

"Wow," Cheri said. "Deep thoughts, huh? Plotting a glorious revenge?"

Vella blinked. Looked around, didn’t see Katia. "You two done talking?"

"Yeah."

"And … ?"

"Kat’s gonna handle the Moshe situation. Me and you are gonna grab a snack while we wait – get to know each other.”

"The Moshe situation?"

"She's telling him to beat it. I'll fill you in, but let's get going. Good news always makes me snacky."

 

---

 

Vella’s head was still spinning by the time they arrived to Cheri’s suggested snack-stop: a brightly colored ice cream parlor, an oddly hilarious sight in the Tower, and one she paid no attention to. Because all that agonizing over her future had been pointless. 

She still didn’t know where she stood with Katia, so she wouldn’t say her worries were cured, but at least one critical problem had been solved: her short-term, maybe even long-term survival. The emotional angst lingered in the background, but she could handle that. Had handled it, before.

“So,” Cheri said, once they’d ordered and sat down at a table secluded in a corner of the restaurant. “What’s it like?”

“What’s what like?”

“Having a dick.”

Vella choked.

“Sheesh,” Cheri said with a laugh, sliding some napkins over. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Haven’t come to terms with it?”

“Not entirely, no.”

“Don’t wanna talk about it?”

“Not really?”

Cheri shrugged. “Just figured it’d be a good ice breaker.”

Ice breaker?

What kind of –?

Apparently, Cheri was just as socially bizarre as Katia, just on a different side of the axis. Were all generationals like this? Or was it delvers in general? It did take a special breed to voluntarily enter the Tower.

“We will need to talk shop, though,” Cheri said. “Your class, how it works. That kinda thing. Can’t get away from it.”

“That’s, um, fine.”

A grin was creeping across Cheri’s face. “Don’t tell me you’re as much a prude as Kat is.”

“I’m not a prude,” Vella said. “But … it’s a bit much, isn’t it? To just talk about?”

“Your face is beat-red," Cheri said. “It’s just sex.”

Vella took a bite to give herself time to find a response. ‘Just sex’? There must be some kind of culture clash going on, because yeah, it wasn’t some kind of taboo, but it was still sex. Something not casually discussed over ice cream between people who had just met.

Or maybe she was a prude.

Cheri rested a cheek on her fist, teasing grin growing.

“Um,” Vella said, suddenly distinctly missing Katia’s aversion to the topic. “Talk shop. Sure. I’m free to answer. Just ask.”

“Kat said she’d give me the rundown on your skills, but she forgot. So start there?”

“Right.” Vella looked around to make sure nobody was close enough to hear. Nobody was, but she lowered her voice anyways. “There’s three that matter, I guess. Or matter to you.”

“Sex-related. Where you’ll need my participation.”

“Y-Yeah.” So casual about it … “Or maybe not participation, exactly.”

“Let’s hear it.”

“The first is empowering gaze. I’ll have to, um, fantasize over you. Increases your main stat by a decent amount.”

Cheri raised her eyebrows. “Fantasize? That’s it?”

Vella cleared her throat and didn’t address the comment. It had definitely seemed so much more embarrassing, when it was Katia. Now, it almost felt underwhelming, like Vella was making a big deal out of nothing. “The second is invigorating kiss. It’s pretty much what it sounds like. Gives you a big boost to healing and mana regen for a short time. Few minutes.”

“Useful,” Cheri said. “On the lips, I assume? Or is cheek-action fine?”

“Lips.”

“Gods,” she said. “I wish I had skills this cool.” A brief pause. “You a good kisser?”

“I’m okay,” Vella stuttered, baffled at how reversed their feelings could be, and the ease Cheri had asked the question. “I guess. Wouldn’t really know.” Never any complaints, at least …

“I could tell you?”

It was clearly a tease, but had the intended effect regardless: Vella’s face went red. 

Eventually she’d run out of blushes, right? 

“Later, maybe?” Vella said desperately.

Cheri laughed, waved for her to continue.

“And, uh, last one’s called reciprocal bond, has a few different parts to it.”

“Oooh."

“Katia says it’s pretty good. Best of the bunch.” Not that Vella herself really knew how the hierarchy of skills stacked up. “The short of it is that it increases experience gain.”

Cheri’s eyes widened, and she leaned forward. “You’re kidding.”

“I – no?”

“How much?”

“It doesn’t say? But the amount grows with how long the bond stays in place.”

“That’s insane!” Cheri looked around to see if anyone had heard her outburst, moderated her volume. “Like, super, super rare. No wonder Katia wanted you over Moshe. Any stipulations?”

“Yeah. Two. First is we can’t get too far away. District-width, roughly, else the bond breaks. And second is, um,” and here was the kicker, “there needs to be some kind of sexual activity between us every twenty-four hours. To refresh the bond.”

“Any kind?”

“I think so.”

“So I could like, rub you through your pants, and that would count? Seems super easy.”

“There’s an implication of climax,” Vella said. “At least, I think … it’s not something I’ve tested. There’s a week cooldown if the bond breaks, so it’s better to play it safe.”

“Either of us?”

“Huh?”

“Is it you that has to cum? Or can it be me?”

Vella had been holding up admirably, but at the casual injection of that word, the blush returned. “Uh, I don’t think so. Either of us?” That was what her intuition said. But Katia had, for obvious reasons, not pursued that option. Vella would have, seeing how only gratifying herself was highly inconsiderate, but she’d known what Katia’s response would be.

“Expected more, honestly,” Cheri said. “But you’re only level two?”

“Yeah.”

“Figure you’ll get to the fun stuff as you level.”

Vella really, really hoped not. “Guess we’ll have to see.”

The first lull in the conversation appeared. They worked through their respective ice creams. Vella wondered how Cheri hadn’t blushed even a single time throughout that – not even a hint of pink.

“What do you think of Kat?” Cheri asked suddenly.

“She’s … great? Be more specific?”

“You two have done some stuff together, right?”

“As required.”

Cheri snorted, but didn’t explain why. “You spent at least two days scrapping through a Cascade together. Surely you have a little more of an opinion than ‘she’s great’.”

She definitely did, she just didn’t understand why Cheri was asking. But Vella was hardly in a position to be making enemies … she needed to play friendly. And it wasn’t an offensive question. Katia was just a sore subject for Vella, right now.

“She’s great,” Vella sighed. “What do you want me to say? Principled, driven, funny, et cetera.” She could go all day.

“Funny? Not a word I’d usually hear to describe Kat.”

“I mean … it’s a bit understated, but it’s definitely there.”

“Not really.”

Vella huffed. Even if Cheri didn’t think so, why say it? Felt a bit rude, for Katia’s friend. “Humor is subjective. I think she’s hilarious.”

“I guess,” Cheri said. “But still. She’s kind of dry and stuck-up, don’t you think?”

Vella bristled.

“Little bit of a bitch, too?” Cheri said.

Vella half-stood from the table. 

“You –”  Came to a realization. Sat back down.  “Are baiting me.”

“You like her.”

“I said as much.”

Cheri rolled her eyes. “Like like her. Crushing on her. You’re pretty obvious.”

“Seriously?” Vella snapped. “We just met, and you’re tricking me into things?”

Cheri shrugged, not abashed. “I look out for Kat, first and foremost. We ever end up cool, I’ll do the same for you.”

Vella fists tightened. She’d been manhandled so easily, discovered in less than a few minutes. And Cheri didn’t seem perturbed she’d done it – or at Vella’s reaction. Didn’t set the best impression for an upcoming teammate. Even if Vella could respect the loyalty, that she was looking out for Katia. And the fact it was Katia specifically made it mildly more acceptable. She wasn’t sure if it balanced out. But it was Katia …

Vella sighed, letting go of the tension. It was her fault, really. Why did she have to be so easy to read? 

And how she felt about Katia was hardly something that wasn’t Cheri’s business; as a team, any relation mattered to all of them.

“Man,” Cheri said, not privy to her brief internal struggle. “That complicates things so much, you know.”

“I do,” Vella said miserably.

“Divorcing sex and romance would make your class like, fifty times easier.”

“Really? I had no idea.”

Cheri made an amused noise. “Well. Won’t have the same problem with me, promise – you start sending gooey eyes my way, I’ll remind you. Swiftly, in a way you won’t forget. Me and you are for fun only.” A pause. “But don’t tell Katia about your feelings. Especially in a big, climactic way. That’s a fast way to rejection.”

Vella thumped her head into the table.

“You already did?” Cheri asked. “And she hasn’t – what did she say?”

“Sounds like you guessed it.”

“Ah. Yeah, shit. Hm.”

A pause.

“This isn’t my place,” Cheri said, “but maybe … don’t give up hope?”

Vella peeked an eye up. “Friends don’t usually give advice like, ‘no doesn’t mean no’.”

“Yes, but counter-argument: Katia’s kind of an idiot. Which means she’d fit great with you.”

“You’re very charming, has anyone told you that?”

Cheri laughed. “Just … surely you’ve noticed Katia’s actions and words don’t line up, even in the best of situations.”

She might have. “So what? It was a no.” Not explicitly … but still.

Cheri leveled a significant look at her; it felt oddly like the equivalent to Katia’s eyebrow-quirk. “Just … be patient. That is, if you get my approval. It’s not just her you have to impress, now. Nobody gets to Kat except through me.”

Vella sighed.  More complications between her and Katia?

Why not?