Chapter 28: Remember to Smile
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Harmony still has yet to get back from work, the night is almost upon us, and I’m already dressed in my suit and ready to spend some time with Jessica tonight. A day had passed since I overcame my writer’s block. I managed to write a prologue and chapter before entering writer’s block again. I have too much stuff on my mind and I hope that after today I can get back to writing like no problem.

I ran through my head every single scenario of what I’d say if she asks me any questions about Harmony. There’s always the possibility that she won’t ask anything at all, but I highly doubt that after she asked me to watch her. 

I was planning on having Harmony suck me off before I leave because I don’t know when exactly I’d be back, but my patience is reaching its breaking point. I’m already thinning out the time. I can’t wait much longer. 

Sighing, I grab a piece of paper and write a message that I hope she’ll read as soon as she gets home. I gave her a spare key before she left this morning and told her she could keep it, so now she can get in and out without my help. Honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t do that sooner.

The message I wrote read as the following: 

Harmony, I won’t be back for some time. I’m heading out, and I hope you can handle yourself while I’m gone. If you get horny, you can play the games on my computer. If I get home and you’re still awake, we’ll fuck before we go to bed. Hope you don’t get too horny, though. 

Your friend, Ty.  

PS: On the game, “Milky Queen” I’m already going down Mia’s route. If you decide to play it, can you please stay on that route? You can start a new save file, but don’t delete mine, please. Thank you.

Laying the note on the coffee table, I leave my house and begin walking down the street. It’ll take me around twenty minutes to reach my destination and I’d spent so much time waiting for Harmony that I’ll be late for this. Hopefully Jessica will understand, but I can’t count on it. 

The moon shines bright, almost looking like a full moon, but there’s still a bit of shadow that signifies that it’s still a normal crescent. Despite it not being at its brightest, with the help of the street lamps, the road lit up like daytime but with a starry sky. Cars passed by often, only increasing in abundance the closer I get to the main part of the city. Soon, I’m already at the point where traffic is piling up. Not anywhere close to New York levels of traffic, but still at a level where I’m glad I don’t have a car. 

The night is so different from the day that I can’t even understand how the universe conceived them both at the same time. Daylight is yucky and gross. The heat from the sun only serves to make me sweat like a motherfucker, and people are walking around in droves. I can’t be anywhere alone when I’m out on the street in daylight. It just feels like everyone is looking at me when I know they aren’t.

The nighttime, however, is a different beast entirely. It is such a refreshing change of pace and so much better in every conceivable way. People are few and far between, becoming something of a rarity at this time. The cars may be annoying, but they’re too focused on the road to look at me and gawk at my pathetic figure. The wind blows, but it’s not even anywhere near cold. It won’t be until fall or winter comes when this chill turns from refreshing to absolute insanity. While it’s summer, I’m going to take advantage of this feeling anyway I can.

But at the same time, there’s a level of darkness to nighttime. Go figure. The night is dark. But looky here smartass, I don’t mean it like that. I mean it in a metaphorical and symbolic darkness. The type of darkness that normal people would turn away from until it literally walking towards them. In this case, the thing walking towards me is a homeless person with a limp in their step.

They wore a long, tattered gray coat that hung all the way to their knees. They limped on their left foot so badly that it had to be broken. With no money, however, they just had to deal with it because the medical system is shit. 

I can’t see their face cause a hood covers it up, casting their face in a shadow. The foot they’re limping on has a hiking boot covering it while the other is completely bare, giving a sort of tilt to the person as they walked. They held a hand on the building’s walls and leaned against the rough surface as they walked down the street as if it were the only thing keeping them standing. 

I couldn’t help but feel bad for them, but it’s not like I can do anything about it. The world obviously put them in this place, and as much as I want to say stick it to the world and make this person smile, I know that just isn’t possible. Just from the look of them, even without seeing their face, I can already tell smiling is the least they want as of this moment. Even though it pains me, we pass by each other, and I let the world continue making tragedies. 

***

“Why are you wearing that again?” Jessica asks. 

I made it barely on time and we stand in front of a Wendy’s, the same place we ate at last time. When she invited me out to eat last time, I thought we were going out somewhere fancy. Turns out, it’s just a corporate food franchise. I was planning on not wearing it tonight, but when I remembered how amused the cashiers and customers looked when I came in with the getup, I said fuck it, why not?

“Because it’s fun.” Which is the truth. It really is fun as hell. 

Jessica sighed as I blew off her question like it really didn’t matter. Which it doesn’t matter. At least, to me it doesn’t. She opens the door and goes in and I follow right behind her. 

As soon as I enter, I look around the place. There are no customers in here since the place is close to closing. I hope we leave on time so we won’t end up bothering the cashiers. Nothings worse than the feeling that my actions are somehow impeding someone else’s life.

However, the cashiers didn’t seem bothered. In fact, when I came in, they began chuckling amongst one another. I could feel my face flush up in embarrassment, but it didn’t matter right now. Me being uncomfortable is tiny in comparison to their smiles and laughter. With just this, their lives can have at least a bit of enjoyment in them. 

We place our orders and sit at the farthest table from the counter. Jessica looks at the cashiers at the counter, sees that they’re not minding us, then turns back to me. Here comes the onslaught that I’ve been preparing for since yesterday.

“Hows your day been?” Jessica starts it off.

“Fine. Yours?”

“Fine.”

A moment of silence passes before she asks her next question.

“How’s Harmony doing?” 

I knew it. She’s going to be the main focus this entire session.

“She’s doing well.”

Jessica stirs her drink with her straw as if debating to herself what her next question’s going to be. She took a drink of it, then looked back at me, her mind set.

“Do you know where she was after work yesterday?”

Good, she’s only asking about yesterday. If she stepped it up a notch and asked about if I knew where she’s been after work in general, then I would’ve had a tougher time answering.

“She left work with Miranda. We don’t have a car and since it was raining yesterday, Miranda brought her back home.”

“And if I were to ask Miranda this, she would give me the same story?”

I nodded, and she began stirring her drink again. I could see she was about to ask something else, but before she could, the cashiers called our number. I stood up to go get our plates right as they called so I could get a break from the tension hovering around us. Sadly, it only lasted a few seconds as I bring our food back in no time at all. As soon as I sit down and we get our food, the questions start up again. But they weren’t the questions that I was expecting.

“Do you remember senior year?”

Okay, now where are we going with this? I don’t remember her being the sentimental type, instead as more of a planner. 

“What part of senior year?” I ask.

“Any parts. All parts. Just senior year in general. Remember when you went up onto the stage to get your diploma, then you tripped and fell flat on your face?”

I scratched my head, reminiscing about that moment. I did that on purpose to make everyone laugh, which I succeeded in doing, but I accidentally hit it too hard, which gave me a nosebleed. How could I forget something like that?

“Yeah, I remember. What’s this even about?”

Jessica looked out the window at something unseen by me. What it could be, no one but her knows.

“I never wanted to be a detective, you know. I wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted to prove people innocent and prove the guilty were lying to a fault. I saw the world like those ancient T.V. shows where everything was monochrome. Nothing but a black and white box.

“Then sophomore year happened. I still don’t understand it, even to this day. I still don’t understand you.” She looked at me with inquisitive eyes, and I hated every second of it. She’s doing the worst kind of undressing again. “Why do you still think the universe is a game?”

I held back my breath and clasped my hands to each other. I struggled to even think of an answer because that’s not a question I ever expected to be asked of me. Why do I think the universe is a game? I got an answer to that, but I don’t think she’d like it.

“Short answer, I don’t think it’s a game. Better short answer, I want it to be a game. Long answer, I’m going to do everything in my power to turn the universe into a playground where people can finally believe they’re happy. I made a bet a long time ago that I’ll outnumber all the tragedies of the world with comedy and laughter. I’m not going to lose that bet, no matter what.”

I put all my heart and soul into that answer. It’s the truth amongst all truths that I could come up with. Nothing is truer about me than those words. Yet, as they came out of my mouth, I could taste a distinct taste of shit. 

Jessica chuckled as I told her my answer. How could she just laugh at that as I pour my heart out to her? She has to be a witch. I knew it all along. How could I not have noticed the clearly indicated signs that even I blind man could see?

“I guess I see what you mean. I still remember the time when I became a detective. At first I hated it, always thinking that I could have become a lawyer if I tried hard enough. But then I began to appreciate the journey I was taking. I may come across corpses, but the feeling I get when locking a criminal behind the bars they belong in lets me know that I’m doing the right thing.”

I ate my chicken nuggets as she went on a whole spiel that I could barely give two shits about. Well, with all my previous actions, I should give no shits about it, but I still listened anyway. It was like I was being lured into hearing it without my consent, but I’m in control of my body, and I listened to it all. And in some ways, I understood what she was saying.

As we were busy talking, a cashier walked up to our booth, looking tired and ragged. Her hair was tossed about as if she didn’t care who saw her in such a sleep deprived state.

“We’re closing soon, just to let you know.”

The balls on this woman. I am genuinely impressed and I want to shake her hand for this, but I’m not touching the hand of someone who I don’t even know. Sorry, but that’s just how it is.

“Alright then.” I place my fries inside the bag while Jessica places her full meal in hers. She was too busy talking to eat. 

We leave the building and have only one place to go. I just hope I’m presentable enough for the occasion.

***

I’m walking back home. After we left our final destination, Jessica asked if I wanted a ride home. I shook my head and went off in my own direction. No one can control the pace at which I live my life, so I’m taking matters into my own hands. 

As I walk down the street, I look up into the starry sky that only I can see. Well, I guess others can see it too, but they can’t see what I’m seeing. And what is it I see exactly? I don’t even know what it is I’m seeing nothing but stars, but if I use my finger, I can connect the dots and draw giant eyes in the sky. It’s looking down on us. But there’re no ears. It cannot hear us.

I look back down, recognizing where I am. If I’m correct, and hopefully they didn’t go too far, then they should be just down this road. An alleyway comes up and I take a peek down it, hoping to find what I’m looking for. And voila. They’re there.

The same homeless person with the cloak over their body sat in the alley. I could see their faint outline thanks to the street lamps. They’re shivering nonstop, as if it were freezing on a warm summer night. I have to make this right.

 “Hey.” I call out.

The homeless person looks at me and freezes. I hold up my bag that’s filled with fries and two chicken nuggets left over. It isn’t much, but it’s still food. That’s all that matters at the end of the day.

The homeless person looks down the alley, then stands up and limps over to me. They peek their head out of the alley, looking back and forth, then steps out when she sees this isn’t some sort of trap. They grab the bag and shuffle through the contents. Once they see everything, they look at me, as if wondering what my motive was.

“That’s for you. It’s not like I need it that badly.”

They look down at the bag and take out a chicken nugget, then eat it. They don’t take a massive bite out of it. Instead, they nibble on it as if testing the waters. When nothing bad happens, they throw the entire nugget into their mouth and swallow it whole. I stand back, wondering how in the fuck that’s even possible. 

They look at me and give a slight nod. “Thank you.” 

So they’re a she? She lowers her hood and I can see her face in its entirety. Dirty blond hair fell down to the base of her neck. A small portion of it was tied up in a tiny ponytail. Her hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in ages with dirt, grime, and whole sorts of nastiness littering it. 

They’re white skinned, but it was coated in dirt and debris. As she ate the second nugget, I couldn’t help but feel pity for the way she looked. How could she end up in such a situation? Not even my perversion is able to rise to the surface in the face of what true tragedy looks like.

“What’s your name?” I ask. I don’t know how many people know of her, but I at least want someone to recognize her.

The woman thinks for a bit, then tells it to me. “Talia Marigold.” 

That is one hell of a name. It sounded so foreign, yet also believable at the same time. It isn’t a name I expected someone like her to have. Then again, they’re just homeless. They’re people just like us. Why would her having such a beautiful name be so abnormal?

“How old are you?” Talia asks.

“Twenty-four.”

She chokes on a fry that’s shooting down her throat. She pounds against her chest so hard I’m sure her ribs broke from the beating.

“Twenty-four? You look like your seventeen.” At least that’s better than what people normally assume. “Anyway, that doesn’t matter. What do you want?”

Now I’m getting even more confused. “What do you mean?”

“What do you want in return for the food? That’s why you gave it to me, isn’t it?”

I shake my head, realizing what it is she meant. “No, I’m good. I just wanted to see you smile. That’s it, really.”

She looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I don’t think she fully believes me, but the lack of me coming onto her must be showing her I mean no harm. At least I hope it does, because as she’s eating her fries, she still looks at me like she’s preparing for me to grope her at any moment.

“My name is Ty Peon, by the way.” I say to break up the silence.

I could see her eyebrows furrow as she went over that name in her head. She swallows the last of the fries and tosses the bag into the alley. The wind picked up, tossing her cloak around. I gotta admit, seeing her tossing a bag looked way more epic than it should have.

“I think I’ve heard that name before. I don’t remember where, though.” She said, but before she could elaborate any further, she began heading back into the alley. “Thank you for the meal.” She disappeared down the alley, covering her head back up. 

Even though she left back into her miserable life, I could still see that small smile at the corner of her lips. I wished I could see it longer, but she had already disappeared. I already know that she’ll face even more rough times after this. She’ll probably regret her life, experience the world at its cruelest, and think hell is more of an escape than a punishment, but every time she thinks that, I hope for her to remember this moment. Remember the moment when a stranger gave her food and asked for nothing in return. Please, remember that and smile.

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