There are two things that I’ve learned from my past self. Each one is just as important as the other. If I came into the human world without either lesson, I’d be dead as soon as I stepped off that boat. 

Lesson number one: Try to be as nice as can be. I haven’t been the kindest person in the past. In fact, people that know the real me will probably call me an axe wielding maniac. They wouldn’t be entirely wrong, but I’ve never used an axe before. However, I learned very quickly that to get by in this world I need to keep all my anger and impulsiveness in a tightly locked box. I threw away the key as soon as I stepped off that boat, but it seems someone’s been trying to find it again.

Lesson number two: Don’t go out and attack people at random. To the common folk, they would think that lessons one and two should be linked together without a shadow of doubt. However, I’ve met people that at one moment are the nicest person in the universe, only to turn around and stick it in my backside while I wasn’t looking. I couldn’t fault them, since they didn’t have control of themselves at that moment, but I still hated it. I despise the amount of times I’ve been backstabed, and all the times I did the backstabbing. 

To these humans, like the two walking through the bar door, they’ve been taught that although the world is a cruel and harsh mistress, it’s still a place that is worth living in. As long as they are as good a person as can be, then they can achieve anything. From parent, to child, then to their grandchildren, that saying has been passed on without change.

I’ve read in human made stories where the power of friendship and hopes and dreams solved the problems of the protagonist. That’s not to say every human story was like that, but compared to the cubbi stories I’ve read, even the few human stories of hope dwarfed that of the cubbi. Cubbi’s stories ended one particular way, and the best way to describe it as is a certain phrase. Then they died. 

Ever since I was born, I’ve been surrounded by things that would traumatize humans for generations. But is it really trauma if that’s all I know? That’s most likely a dumb question, but it’s still one that needs to be asked. How would I get an answer of if I should continue this farce game and give up?

A detective walks closer to me with her partner in tow. They search for justice in a world where justice is a living word. They continue to bring it up, like the idea of bringing justice means something. We wouldn’t need to bring justice if there was never an incident in the first place. If the world was truly perfect, justice would become a myth, but along with it, so would crime. The world isn’t perfect, however, so we continue to cling onto the false idea of justice.

I’ve clung onto hope ever since I read Loving Gates. It’s a beautiful book that brings the human spirit into the spotlight. When I heard the phrase, the human spirit, I wondered what the cubbi spirit was. I looked back into my childhood, read as many human and cubbi books as possible, and asked my family, but none of them could give an answer.

So, I tried coming up with the cubbi spirit myself. What does it mean to be a cubbi? I wanted it to be positive, something that all cubbi children could listen to and hope to achieve one day. The human spirit can mean so many different things, but the one I saw come up often was the ability to empathize and sympathize with other humans and even the animals that call earth home as well. 

As I thought and thought, the idea grew hazy day after day, until, one day, I forgot about it entirely.

“Well, watcha lookin’ at?” 

I come back to my senses and realize I’ve been staring at Jessica ever since she entered. The man was speaking to me with a grin above his hairy chin. The beard looked like it was shaven and was in the process of growing back. If I dragged my hand across his chin, it would probably leave a few scratches on me. At least, it would if I was human. For a cubbi, it’s hard to even stab us without putting all their strength into the impact.

“Sorry,” I apologize. “I wasn’t paying attention.” 

The man chuckled while keeping his grin on me. “No problem, missy.” He held out his hand and waited for me to return the favor. I raise my hand and before I could grab onto it, he reaches out and takes my hand in his, shaking it so roughly my arm turned into a blur. “The name’s Richie Hark. I’m guessin you’re miss Harmony Wright?”

“Yes, I am.” 

I’m guessing Jessica told him about me. Question is why did she do it and what are they here for? From the look of what he’s wearing, I can only guess he’s a detective as well. Detectives normally have partners when working on a case for both safety and analytical purposes. It’s easier to pin down a criminal with two brains working simultaneously.

I may not want to sound rude, but Richie doesn’t really look like the detective type. With wide shoulders, a muscular body frame, and rough hands, on first glance, I would’ve assumed he was a fighter of some kind. Then again, a lesson I’ve learned as a kid and kept throughout my life is to never judge on appearance alone. 

“My name’s Karina Illia.” Karina sticks out her hand. Richie sees it and begins introducing himself to her. Difference between her handshake and mine, however, is that Karina screamed loud as hell when Richie began shaking her hand. 

“Sorry bout that.” Richie retreats his hand and scratches his beard. “I forget how to hold back.”

“You really need to sometimes.” Jessica says as she sits on the stool next to Lai. Despite all the commotion, she was still coloring away. “Women are fragile, you know.”

“That’s rich coming from you.” Richie mutters as he sits next to her. “Hey bartender, get me a beer, would ya?” 

“Just a normal beer?” Zihao asks.

“Yes sir. I never understand that fancy crap.” 

Zihao nods and takes out a glass and proceeds to pour beer into it. Jessica orders a sweet tea as she takes a cigarette out of her purse. She lit it and puffed the fumes into her lungs, then breathed it out as soon as she lowers the cigarette from her lips. 

“You’ve been liking the place, Jessica.” Karina says.

“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be.” 

Zihao immediately shoots his head up and looks at her with dark eyes. “Pray tell, how did you think my establishment would be?”

“Not up to standards. I really dreaded the place when I saw how the outside looked.”

She met his gaze with dark eyes of her own. They entered a staring contest where the winner and loser are decided by who gives in first and admits defeat, rather than by who blinked first. Surprisingly, it’s Zihao that breaks first as he looks away to grab a menu.

“You’re lucky you work with the police.” 

He tossed the menus onto the counter. They took them and while Jessica began scrolling through it slow and methodically, Richie scanned each page of the menu as if his life depended on how fast he could get his order in. Despite his speed, Jessica placed her order in first, leaving Richie to die. Except he didn’t die and instead placed his order right after.

Zihao took up the menus as he wrote their orders down on a receipt. He went off into the kitchen, leaving only the five of us in here. There were others inside the bar, some of them looking this way to see the commotion, but none of them mattered at this moment. The only people that matters are the ones at this counter. And I guess Lai, but she’s steadily coloring.

 “So, you’re the one that took on an entire gang at once.” Richie says so out of context that Karina laughed so hard her drink ran out of her nose. “When I heard that from Jessica, I thought that couldn’t be the case. A small girl taking a pounding from different men at one time just seems like it would end with the girl dropping to her knees. But instead, you pounded them right back, and they fell to your feet.”

Once he was finished with his interesting little speech, he stretched his arm out and slammed his elbow on the counter. He looked at me with daring eyes, and I already knew what he wanted before he even asked.

“Get on the other side of the counter and take me on. I want to see if ya can make a man squeal like I heard.” 

Karina was beginning to froth at the mouth. As soon as she heard that last definitely not on purpose pun, her head collapsed onto the bar as she choked on her own saliva. There’s no way that he’s not doing this on purpose.

I stand, but before I get behind the counter, Lai grabs my wrist and looks at me. 

“Behind the counter is for employees only. If you want to do him or whatever, take it to a seat.” Goddammit, it’s spreading.

Richie nods, stands up, then approaches an empty table right beside the front entrance. He sits and plants his elbow in the center of the table, then looks at me. I head over and sit on his opposite side. I plant my arm next to his and we clasp each other’s hand. 

Without a referee to tell us when to begin, I stay on guard the entire time. He could start out of nowhere and take me when I’m the most vulnerable. He’d be able to pin my arm without an issue. Even a cubbi’s strength and durability means nothing when they’re snuck up on. 

Suddenly, he began pushing at my hand out of nowhere. I was caught off guard, putting him at an advantage and pushing my hand down slightly. Because I planned for the sneak attack, he only pushed at me a tiny amount, and when I started pushing back, I managed to reset us back in the middle. 

We pushed at each other for nearly ten entire seconds. Our arms refused to budge from the starting position. Even when I put some more of my strength into my arm, his hand refused to give way. Unlike those men, this one had a lot more strength to hide behind. He could actually brag and back it up.

I applied some more pressure, but once again, he refused to budge. It was as if I was pushing against a stone wall and was bashing at it time after time, with a bigger and meatier item than the last. Walls break after time, however, especially once they get hit with a massive hammer.

I strengthened my shoulder once again, but this time, putting almost all my muscles to work. It actually worked well. His hand began drifting toward the table slowly. I put so much effort into it that I expected his hand to drop immediately, but the wall continued to stand. His hand stopped at only halfway and refused to budge once again.

However, I have even larger weapons in storage that can obliterate any wall that opposes me. Humans have to hide behind those walls of theirs, not for protection, but because they cannot get out. They’re weak, pathetic, and brainless. Yet, here they are, on lands so much greater than my own, and what did they do with it?

That doesn’t mean I don’t pity them. Humans deserve the right to live, just like everything in this world, but it’s hard to hold back after everything I’ve seen. They cling onto their human spirit while denying the cubbi the right to own their own idea of what it means to live. 

Actually, I think I figured out what the cubbi spirit is. As I push my muscles ever further, and push his hand ever downward, the cubbi spirit comes to mind. The wish to explore the world without anything holding us back. The want to be accepted despite our curse. The need to live in a world that says we should die. That is the cubbi spirit, and what a shining spirit it is. It all came from a certain religous text I read in Juxtevia.

Falya was said to be the first cubbi, and not only that, but she was the first, and only, member of our kind to fly. With wings as white as starlight, she would fly above the disgusting earth and explore the world. She would have children with many different men and expand the cubbi race among the entire world. If one of her kind became ill, she would fly to the ocean, snatch a fish out of the sea and wrap it in seaweed. Then she’d let it sit for exactly two days, and when the time expires, she’d unwrap the seaweed, exposing a clear liquid inside, that when drunk, cured people of all illness. That is who all cubbi aspire to be. We want to fly, just like her. But we’re trapped on an unknown island, and the only people that come to the aid of our kind are laughed off like they’re insane, saying we don’t exist.

As all those thoughts come to mind, I forget completely about the match going on. It wasn’t until I felt a small tap on my shoulder that I come back into reality. My hand is flat on the table with his hand sitting on top of mine. The wall fell on top of me. 

“That was a good match.” Richie says. “A little disappointing at the end, but you have some strength, missy. Have you ever thought about becoming a wrestler?”

He lets my hand go, but I don’t take it back remove it from the table I stare at my own weakness, now flat on the table and demanding that I get right back up again and make this right. I flatten that urge in my head, which only makes my head hurt even worse. 

I stand and run out of the bar. I could hear Karina call to me, but I didn’t stop running.

***

“Harmony!” Karina calls out as she leaves the bar. 

Richie sits next to me as Zihao brings our food out. He rubs his hands together at the thought of eating the giant plate of ribs that was now sitting in front of him. Meanwhile, Karina dashed outside, trying to catch up with Harmony. 

“So, what do you think?” I ask Richie.

He chomps on a large chunk of his ribs, revealing nearly half the bone. He holds up a finger as he chews the meat, then swallows. Although there were napkins sitting right next to him, he didn’t even wipe the barbecue off his face. No wonder his beard stinks.

“Well, she’s a strong woman. If my wife is a lion, then that girl’s an elephant. But I don’t think she has any ties to the murders. Outside of her strength, there’s nothing really connecting her and the murders together.”

He finished off the first chunk of meat, then moves on to the next one with little care for slowing down and actually tasting the food.

“Well, it’s hard to say for sure.” I say as I take a bite out of my chicken breast. “She’s the only lead we managed to find ever since these murders began.”

“Don’t you think you’re latching onto her too much? She may be the only lead, but there’s hundreds of strong women out there. As far as we know, she’s just another statistic.”

I sigh to myself as I caress my head. A headache’s beginning to form, and anytime I get one, something bad happens immediately after. It’s almost like a sixth sense.

“I’ll leave her alone for now, but now we’re back at square one. We have no leads except for the marks left on their stomach.”

The door opened again, and Karina walked right back in, confusion written all over her face. She sat down in the seat she was at before running outside. For once, she stayed silent and frozen, not even touching the food on her plate.

“What happened?” Richie asks with his mouth full.

Karina takes some time to answer. Her mouth was moving around, as if she were talking to herself trying to come to terms with what she just saw. When she did answer, her puzzlement transferred to my face as well.

“She disappeared. One second she was there, but the next she vanished. I looked all up and down the street, but she wasn’t anywhere.” I thought that was the end, but she kept going. “The little that I saw of her, it looked like she had a tail.”