“ONE, TWO, PUSH!
ONE, TWO, PUSH!
MORE, PUSH MORE!” Big Sis Iowa shouted on top of her lungs, as the barge slowly approached the berth.
“ONE, TWO, PUSH!” Two dozen men and two diligent battleships were using iron rods to push the barge closer, when the oared ships couldn’t approach any closer.
And, one of us was lazing around.
“YOU LAZY FREAK!” I shrieked at the freak, who didn’t even bother doing anything but playing games.
“What’s up?” (NJ)
“HOW ABOUT YOU DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR A CHANGE?!”
“Sure.” (NJ)
“What…? Wa-wa-wa…!” I almost had my instrument fall off the barge, I was that shocked.
“What? Never expected me to help my cute little pie-sister~?” I turned away from her, definitely not because I was embarrassed. I am just sure that freak is up to no good.
‘Darn, she’s usually fiercer…?’ (NJ)
“GOT ANY PROBLEM?!”
Filled with righteous fury, I turned around, almost hitting somebody with the rod, and when I glared at the freak, I noticed how she was standing ready. On one knee, and with the phone aimed…
“Thanks for the treat~!” The disgusting freak smiled, making me want to kill her.
“Hey, guys! I get it you like to fool ‘round, but can’t you do something useful for a change?” Mo gazed at us unamused.
The count was also displeased. Might have something to do with that break on the side I made… Whoopsies…
“Aaah…! Why can you not fiend each other somewhere else…?” He held his head, watching the destruction a piece of metal has caused.
“What is going on… in here?!” (IA)
“I-I c-can explain…!”
“It’s not like anything bad has happened.” (NJ)
"But my ship...!" The count still held his head, denying the reality.
“Don’t bother, dude. It’s just them being lovey-dovey.” Mo sneered.
“THAT…?” He pointed at the broken side.
“Ah, back when we were still in a shape, Wisky was always clinging to me: ‘Big Sister, Big Sister, Big Sister~’. Wanna hear?” (NJ)
“I’d love to listen then…” The count wiped the tears.
“Oh, I’m sure Enji would be delighted to tell, after all she’d have nothing else to do while pushing the barge. Wouldn’t she?” (IA)
“C*…” (NJ)
October 10, 1992. Philadelphia, PA.
“Hey girls! We’ve got an emergency!” (Mo)
“What is going on, Missouri?” (NJ)
“What? Have they started taking you apart?” (IA)
“Can you guess it? Then made a film about me!” (Mo)
“Erhm… Congratulations…?” (IA)
“And what’s ‘emergency’ about it?” (NJ)
“THEY FILMED THE FREAKING ALABAMA INSTEAD OF ME!” (Mo)
“Wait a darn moment? Why are you talking about me?!” (Mo)
“Hush, don’t interrupt yer senior.” (NJ)
“And that’s it?”
“Wisconsin, have some sisterly solidarity with me!” (Mo)
“Erhm… It’s all for the better, Sister Missouri!”
“Ha-ha~! That’s my Wisconsin!” (NJ)
“Big Sister~!”
“Hey! I don’t remember anything like that?!”
“I, tell them, ain’t I right?” (NJ)
“Mm? Ah, yes, Wisky was such a sweet child back then~.” (IA)
“NOT YOU TOO?!
I WAS NOT! I WAS NOT! I WAS NOT!”
“And then, 60 years after she was commissioned, she hit her rebellious age~.” Big Sis giggled, before continuing to shout the commands.
And the freak continued spewing nonsense…
December 7, 2001. Norfolk, VA.
“… despite this year being filled with all sorts of s*. And thus I declare the 11th Annual meeting opened.” (IA)
“Clap, clap, clap. Is everybody on the phone?” (NJ)
“Yep.” (Mo)
“…”
“Erhm, Wisconsin…?” (NJ)
“…”
“My sweet little sister…?” (NJ)
“…”
“Honey, darling, my lovely girl…?” (NJ)
“…”
“Hey, Iowa, did she fall asleep while listening to your speech?” (NJ)
“Was it really that bad…?” (IA)
“It was.”
“Ah, here she is! What happened, is everything alright?” (NJ)
“That’s none of your business.”
“Ew! It hurts! What’s wrong, Wisconsin? Why are you so angry at me?” (NJ)
“ ‘Cause you deserve it!”
“…” (NJ)
“…” (IA)
“…”
“Enji, you did call her this week, right?” (IA)
“I… oh… Sorry, Wisconsin! Pleeease, forgive me! I was really busy, a guy forgot a bag of some weird comic books and I got too engrossed in reading them!” (NJ)
“Hm!”
“Khm-khm… So, now that we all are here, it is time for us to commemorate another year of…” (NJ)
‘What was I even expecting of her…?’
“Ah? Wisconsin, you wanted to say something?” (NJ)
“You spent the entire week reading a few comic books…?”
“Oh… Erhm, y-you see, we’re currently in the middle of event, so let’s talk about it later and…” (NJ)
“Whatever… Whatever, just go and continue to fool around!”
“W-Wisconsin?!” (NJ)
“You know what? You know what? I…! I HATE YOU, NEW JERSEY!”
‘Too-too-too-too’
“…” (Mo)
“…” (IA)
“…” (NJ)
“She didn’t even call me ‘Big Sister’…?” (NJ)
“That’s what concerns you the most…?” (IA+Mo)
“Juuust a bit more…! ONE MORE PUSH!
ONE, TWO, PUSH!
TIE THE ROPES!” Iowa jumped on the berth and started helping with tying the barge.
Meanwhile, I rested on the rod, and gazed at the river. Mo and the freak did the same.
“I still do not quite understand what was so bad about not meeting each other for a week?” Only the count was restless here.
“That dork exchanged me for a piece of toilet paper.”
“Whaaat?! You ain’t gonna call S@ilor Moon a toilet paper, ain’t ya?!” The freak almost fell overboard from the shock.
“AND WHAT IF I DO?!”
“You…! Yoooooooouuuuu!!!” Just like the utter trash she is, New Jerksey started wailing and pointing a finger at me, like a three-year old child, whose mother didn’t buy a toy.
‘Trash.’
“So what?” And she recovered…?
“Honestly, I too do not see what is so bad about it?” The count stared at me, slightly frowning.
“That toilet paper in itself did not appear to be anything bad. The bad was what followed us after…”
August 27, 2005. Norfolk, VA.
“Is everybody gathered?!” (IA)
“Yes.”
“Same here.” (Mo)
“What’s up?” (NJ)
“What’s up? WHAT’S UP?!” (IA)
“Big Sis, don’t shout at the screen, we see and hear you well enough.” (Mo)
“What’s up, damn it…?! Girls, was I the only one who received a present from New Jersey?!” (IA)
“Phew, over there.” (Mo)
“You’re talking about this?”
“This.
New Jersey, what the hell is this thing?” (IA)
“This?” (NJ)
“This.” (IA)
“That’s my…” (NJ)
“New Jersey, care to explain how one sweet day I received a package with a magazine, and when I read it I saw how weird-looking drawn girls were having s*x with each other?!” (IA)
“I, that’s called doujinshi.” (NJ)
“I DON’T CARE HOW IT’S CALLED!!! NEW JERSEY, WHAT WAS GOING ON IN YOUR MIND TO SEND ME A P*RN MAGAZINE?! HOW DID IT HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE?!” (IA)
“Come on, I! Don’t you think my attempts at drawing manga ended up quite well?” (NJ)
“BUT WHY DID YOU SEND ME THIS GARBAGE?!” (IA)
“Not to you only.” (Mo)
“New Jerksey.”
“Sounds good, you know? SOUNDS PERFECTLY FITTING.” (IA)
“Wow, don’t wind up so much, Iowa!” (NJ)
“Are you insane…?
Girls, I’m going to the bookstore after we’re done. I will buy all Bibles I can get my hands on, and ship them to Camden! Maybe it will help with fixing up this moron’s mind!” (IA)
“I’ll go too then.” (Mo)
“Same for me.”
“Erhm…? Girls…? Don’t you think that’s too much? I was just trying to share my art with you, and…” (NJ)
“You call THIS an art…? It’s only place is a bonfire.”
“I sign under every word.” (Mo)
“Uuuu…! You’re so mean…!” (NJ)
“New Jerksey.” (IA)
“Sounds well, don’t you think? Got a nice ring to it~.” (Mo)
“Meanies…” (NJ)
“And from there on, this freak became even worse… There was also one time when she accidentally sent an image of a tourist’s underwear to Iowa, instead of an alleged pervert forum…”
“That…” (NJ)
“What, can’t look into my eyes, ha? Have you started feeling any shame?
I’m telling you, that freak is the worst!” The count nodded with an expression of being lost.
“Well, New Jersey was not the only thing that was happening during our last mothball.” (Mo)
“What was happening aside from that?” The count stuck closer to Mo, trying to get as far away from us as he could.
Thanks for the chapter!