Oh so I really lost?

It happened so fast. I missed the three and then Hans hit his three. And I thought I was a 'Shooter' hahaha. How ironic, Hans who was known not to be able to shoot finishes the game with a three. 

'Fuck!'

"Don't be upset Mike you played really good!" Kilian shouted trying to encourage me. 

Kilian and Junior walked up to me. You could see that they felt bad for me.

"Yeah you really was amazing. Just look at the crowds reaction," Junior said while pointing at the crowd.

"Good game!"

"That game was really entertaining."

"You are really good for your age!"

"Next time you will get him!"

They were all cheering for me although I lost...

They must pity me.

I'm the looser. It doesn't matter how good I played. In the end I still lost. I stayed silent and didn't react to anything.

But then Hans walked over to me.

"I told you the first game was just beginners luck. No way I would loose to you again!" 

This bastard!

Why does he act so arrogant again even though he barely won?! If my shot just went in I would be the winner now! 

But it didn't. So I am the looser and he is the winner. And as the looser I can't say anything. There is no room for any emotion. As a looser I can't be angry and cry. I am already weak so there is no time to be depressed.

I know that but why? Why does it hurt so much to lose? I lost so does that mean all my work has been for nothing? That also means...

I can't join the basketball club!

As I was thinking about the basketball club the captain approached me.

"Hey kid!" the captain spoke with a clear tone.

"Y-Yes?" I answered. I knew what was about to come but I still hoped that he somehow changed his mind.

"You played really good. If I am being honest I didn't really think that one month would be enough for you to beat Hans. But you still managed to deliver a good game. You will have a bright future!" 

As the captain said this I didn't really know how to feel. What were his intentions of telling me all this? I lost so that means I can't join the basketball club. But if he tells me something like that I just get my hopes up.

"But," he continued coldly, " YOU STILL LOST! And that means you can't join the basketball club!"

Why did I even got my hopes up? It was obvious that someone like the captain wouldn't break his promise. 

'Damn it!'

It's so frustrating! All I do is lose! Is basketball really the sport for me?!

'Shit!'

I was just standing there. I couldn't even say anything. I was just feeling the despair all over me. Without saying anything I just went away. I wanted to flee from that situation. I wanted to flee from that feeling.

I could see how Junior and Kilian wanted to follow me but someone held them back.

"Leave him alone. Now he just needs time on his one," the captain spoke to them.

LUCAS POV

I watched how Mike left the court without saying anything. The look on his face just straight up despair. I don't know how long it will take for him to recover or if he even will be able to recover. From his fast improvement you could see how hard he worked but he still lost. This must hurt.

The game was now over and the people who came to watch the game slowly disappeared. Also not wanting to stay here that long I followed their lead. But then I saw Julius talking with Hans.

"The game was pretty close. And that against a sixth grader," the captain stated coldly," but..you still won! And that's all that matters."

Hans just nodded in response but you could see a faint smile on his face. This dude is really obsessed with Julius. I waited till he was away and then approached the captain. 

"Hey! Do you really think that was the right decision?"

"What do you mean, Lucas?" he asked suspicious.

"You already know..the thing with Mike."

"The agreement was he would have to win if he wanted to join the club. But he lost!"

"You and I know very well that he is good enough to join. Also considering that he is just a sixth grader."

"I know. But how would it looked like if the captain doesn't keep his word?!"

"That doesn't matter. We need every good player that we can get if we want to win the school tournament!"

There was a moment of silence before the captain answered.

"LUCAS, how did you feel like after the loss in last year's tournament?"

I don't want to remember. It was my first lost. And it happened in the most tragic way it could have happened. That day was my turning point.

"Why do you want me to recall such a bad memory?!"

"BECAUSE THIS IS BASKETBALL. Nobody will win every time. But it doesn't matter if you loose the most important thing is how you act after you loose. Will it destroy you or will it just push you further? If Mike isn't able to get over this lost he won't have a future as basketball player!"

"Do you think he can make it?"

"I don't know. But if he's able to use this lost as motivation he will have a bright future!"

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MIKE POV

One week has passed since the 1v1 against Hans and I think about quitting basketball.   After the match I was very frustrated and didn’t want to do anything anymore. But I thought it would only be a short period and that after a while I get the desire to play basketball again. Well, after a week, I still feel that way. I just don’t have any motivation to play anymore. Since I started, I had a clear goal in mind, which was to defeat Hans and join the Basketball Club. But after I didn’t manage to do this I don’t find any motivation to play anymore. I still want to be an NBA player but how am I supposed to do that when I’m not even able to beat Hans? The idea of just stopping and letting it all go has come to my mind a lot lately.

It was weekend and I had nothing to do. Without basketball, I was much more bored. That’s why I decided to ride my bicycle around a bit. The weather was great, actually perfect for playing basketball, but I decided not to. Without a specific destination, I drove around and lost my thoughts. I was thinking about whether to stop playing basketball once and for all when I realized where I was. It was the place where I spent countless hours of hard, still joyful, training. The basketball court.

I didn't know why I was here. Maybe I instinctively drove to this place. But that didn't matter. I don't want to play basketball right now. I made my decision and wanted to drive away when someone shouted my name.

"Mike!"

It was Jones sensei!

He waved and mentioned me to come over.

I kinda hesitated but still went. I was now standing before him. He had his usual lebron James jersey on that highlighted his muscles. He was sweating hard that must mean he just gone through a workout. When I think about it Jones is always training hard. Still it didn't seem like he had high ambitions.

"Haven't seen your face in a long time lil boy."

"Yeah.." 

"How was the game?"

I knew this question would come up but I hoped it didn't. For a split second I thought about lying to him but I decided against that. I think he would see through a lie. Still I didn't want to answer.

"Well... I lost."

Jones didn't answer. He just looked at me with a serious face.

"Is that the reason why you didn't come to play these last days?!"

I couldn't answer. He was right but I didn't want to admit it. Sensing my hesitation Jones just started laughing.

"Hahaha... pathetic! Wasn't you the one who said ' I will never give up!' and ' Imma be a NBA player!'?"

What?! Why is he starting to make fun of me again? No matter how much I respect him I can't tolerate this!

"I still want to!" I shouted.

"THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!"

Those words hit me like a bullet straight to my heart. What exactly am I doing right know? Why do I feel like that?

"FUCK I DON'T KNOW! I don't know what I am doing or what I should be doing. I don't even know how to feel! I've tried my best to beat Hans but still lost. I trained every single day even when I didn't felt like it I did it anyway. But then I lost. It was so close but I couldn't win. Because of my loss I couldn't join the basketball club. That means all my training was for nothing. All the time YOU invested in me was for nothing! Why should I keep training when all I do is lose anyway?!"

Shit, I got carried away and started shouting. I'm so frustrated that I even shout at my coach. What is wrong with me?!

There was an awkward silent before Jones spoke,

"Because this is the sport you chose.. THIS IS BASKETBALL! Do you think you will win every game you play in? Do you think Micheal Jordan won every game? OF COURSE NOT! Everybody works hard but there is always gonna be a looser. But what are the losers doing after they lose. Do they quit because they didn't win? Or do they work even harder to win the next game? Use this experience to grow even further. Sometimes a lose is the best thing that can happen to you."

In my heart I already knew the answer but I couldn't accept it. I didn't want to accept it. But this is the reality.

I clenched my fist and tried to hold in the tears that were about to come. But then Jones only said,

"It's okay to cry."

Suddenly I started feeling tears on my cheeks. They just came rolling uncontrollably. Even if I tried to hold it in it wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop crying. I just cried and cried like a crybaby and didn't hold my self back anymore. Usually I never cry even as a kid I rarely cried. But today I let it all out.

"I wanted to win," I said sobbing," I really .. really wanted to win!"

                  END OF THE STORY 

        THANK YOU ALL FOR READING