"Cecelia?" I called out to her, wondering if she was awake.
Soon enough I hear footsteps from the stairs. Turning to the stairs, I see Cecelia coming down the stairs - rubbing her eyes and with a bedhead, "... good morning—Alicia..."
"Hehe, good morning to you as well Cecelia." I couldn't help but smile and laugh a little seeing her bad morning habits. "Could you head to the grocery store and get some things for me?" Though... looking at her current state, "Of course, once you get ready, there is no immediate rush."
"I—yes." She nods before walking herself back up the stairs.
With her gone, I resume prepping lunch for the both of us. We had enough in the fridge to make today's lunch and dinner, but I preferred having what we needed for the following days rather than having to shop for the following day's meal. Our lunch wasn't anything special - just a normal lunch. I would probably have everything finished and ready to eat by the time she was done and back from her shopping trip.
"Alicia, I'm going."
"Have a safe trip!" I sent her off from the kitchen - the front door closes, leaving just me in the house.
I continue with making lunch, finishing around noon. I set the table, waiting for Cecelia's return...
... ... ...
Ah—a text. I look at my phone at the kitchen table - Cecelia? I was slightly worried, but opening and reading the text, "I'm alright, but I'm going to be away a bit for lunch with some friends." I smiled reading her text - though... Cecelia had friends—... Actually, I guess I shouldn't really assume she didn't have friends. I'm sure she had some friend who was with her through everything she's gone through. Well, I suppose that means I would be having lunch alone then.
I put her portion away in the fridge to have as leftovers another time and ate alone. After eating and cleaning up, I decided to tidy up the house. It wasn't particularly because I had to, just something I decided for myself on a whim. Going up to my room, I changed into shorts and a t-shirt - something light and also something I was fine getting a little dusty and dirty - before heading back downstairs.
My first goal was the kitchen. The kitchen was relatively clean, but... "I never really moved or organized much." Not that it had been an issue though. Most of the stuff here remained the same as when I first came to, mostly because when Cecelia and I were still in our troubled times I kept the stuff as was initially for Cecelia. Though now—well, I had some gripes about the placement of stuff, so... I suppose, considering we've reconciled and cook together now, it shouldn't do too much harm moving things around.
I organized the things in the kitchen - from seasoning to our dry ingredients - one by one. After I organized the cabinets with seasoning and ingredients, I went to look through all our dishes. Taking everything out, I organized what we needed and what was excess. We had enough dinnerware for five people - probably our full family and a guest -, and honestly it was a bit excessive for just the two of us... I packed away two sets of dinnerware, leaving three sets. I kept going and finished organizing all our tupperware to how I desired - neatly and intuitively. After I finished organizing our dinnerware, I went to the fridge - and closed it realizing the fridge was about the only thing we kept organized. I went and finished my tidying up by wiping down and cleaning all the tabletop surfaces and the stovetop.
"Haah~," Finished, I head to the common room. Looking around, I decide to do a little bit of tidying up. I looked around again, wondering what exactly I could organize - our common room had a long couch, a small coffee table between the couch and the TV table, and a few shelves just within arm's reach. I looked towards the TV table, under it were a few organizational containers and stuff I never really took the time to look at - I never really spent much time looking around the house while Cecelia and I were in our troubled times.
Kneeling down and looking at the stuff below the TV, a machine with cables connected to the TV was down here. It had a button, and out of curiosity I pressed it, "Huh?" It flashed red, then turned blue; with it the TV turned on and switched to a different screen from the normal TV channels. "TurboBox 4?" I recalled back then, when there were guys talking about getting one and playing games on it, and here it was - my first time seeing one, completely lost and confused. "Connect a controller...?" My first thought went to the TV controller, but—, "Obviously... it isn't that." So I went around, looking around for what could possibly be a 'controller'.
Yet, I was incredibly lost trying to think about what to look for or where it could be. I looked around the shelves, the common room table, and the TV table, and found nothing... or at least nothing that I could think of as a controller. I gave up, pressing the button again to see if it would turn off - the light dimmed before turning off, and the TV screen went back to the normal channels soon after.
That escapade done, I pulled out the organizational containers—... "... really...?" Inside had a weird looking thing - most likely the controller for the game. "Whatever..." I took it and put it on top of the box that was the game - cleaning was my focus right now. Inside one of the containers were two controllers - the one I took out, and another one inside -; leaving both of them together for whoever wanted to play, I continued sorting out what was inside the organizational containers under the TV table.
Though honestly there wasn't much. Out from the containers were a bunch of wires and cables, alongside a fragrance candle. I kept the fragrance candle and lit it as I put all the cables back into one container, "I'll mark and figure out where they belong another time." Done with all the containers under the TV table, I dusted off the top of the TV table and the small coffee table alongside the couch. After dusting off the top counters, I wiped off the table tops with a cleaning wipe and gently cleaned the TV screen.
"Now—," I looked to the shelves. Getting a small stable four-legged wooden stool I saw in the kitchen storage closet, I stood on it for extra reach and to see what was on the shelves clearly. Up on the shelves were books. I looked at the books—...
"..." Yet... I held complicated feelings about the books...
They didn't seem like something I... Cecelia or Alicia would have read - for sure it seemed like something our parents would have. "Wh—why...?" I... felt complicated feelings—emotions about cleaning or tidying up...
I—why was this what I folded on? I—...
"..." I—I suppose the shelves were fine as they were... I took the books and dusted them off before putting them back. Honestly - it was one thing if it was practical, but I... "Sigh..." even if I was Alicia, I still felt like I was perhaps intruding too much. If it was Alicia's stuff, I could— "..." Why—why was I doubting myself now?
... deciding I was done with the common room - for now -, I went to our parent's bedroom... I should at least tidy up the dust and look through what to keep in their room...
Opening the door to their room, the stagnant, dusty air hit me immediately. "Well—as expected..." Nothing had changed ever since than, when I came here to sleep that night. I opened the curtain and window to the room. The sunlight shining into their room certainly changed the atmosphere. The morning sun rising shone directly into their room - a contrast from my room which had the sun shining when it set.
"..." Looking at their room again... I still held complex, mixed feelings about cleaning their room, but— "..." Disrespectful or not, I should at least tidy up their room...
Looking around again at the night desk with the picture frame of my parents—it was hard to really comment... Our father had our distinct feature - our signature clean light-brown hair -, whilst our mother held our pretty eyes. Me and Cecelia seemed to luck out taking the best of both of their traits.
I took the picture and put it on the table in their room. Afterwards, I took the bedding, putting it in our washer. Back in the room, I dusted off the top of the night desk and the table in the room before looking into the closet. Inside were obviously our parents clothes. I organized the clothes into a pile of clothes I would pack into boxes for donations, and clothes that— "..." After reconsideration, I decided I would just donate everything in the closet... Now that I had settled on that, I started the washing machine downstairs before heading back upstairs to begin packing our parent's clothes into boxes.
"Now," All that remained was the coat of arms. Looking at it clearly now, it was beautiful... A shield-shaped coat of arms outlined with black and brown; a golden square in the top left corner with white outline borders holding within it an ornate, pure white flower with a peach-colored pistil; numerous, ornate brown branches with golden leaf clusters on the patterned royal blue-red diamonds; and the noble, singular, pure-silver bladed sword standing pointed up with a shiny orange peach-colored gem where the handle and blade met.
Thinking back to my studies, I was again stumped... The Teseia, an Asterian Noble family of which was never recorded in the listings or recent history for any modern family or names... "Well—I suppose not every noble lineage would end up in the higher society." My thoughts aside, "..." I had no idea what to do with it - looking at it in this now empty closet.
... ... ...
"I'll..."
... ... ...
"I'll... take it..." I gently took the coat of arms off the closet wall. It was a little heavier than I expected, but with the coat of arms in my hands I went to my room, gently laying it on my bed. "I should at least honor that - the results of their work and love." I likely would never know what they thought or imagined, but the Teseia lineage - at the very least I should honor that.
As for where to put or display it... I'll figure where to display our coat of arms eventually...
Heading back to their room, I put the boxes of their clothes back into the closet before closing their closet. Checking the drawers of the night desk, nothing much was in there. I found some medical pills, and a weird, packaged box. I wasn't sure what was in it, opening it— "Wait!?" I—I—it was that!
"..." I mean—, of course—our parents probably were—they were probably a normal married couple...
Yet—there was absolutely no reason for us - me or Cecelia - to keep it... I mean—we weren't into that sort of stuff—yet, "..."
I put the box in the garbage. If Cecelia did bring someone over she was intimate with, I'm sure she would know the responsibilities of her own actions by then... We—... Cecelia was still underage currently. I fell into the weird gray zone due to my odd legal status—but... I accepted in my heart that as Alicia, I would likely never be with someone. I couldn't imagine myself with anyone.
As I cleaned their room, a sense of guilt came as I slowly cleaned and put more things into boxes or the trash... After deciding what to throw away and what to keep, I went around dusting off and wiping off the dust buildup. Once I finished dusting off all the desk and cabinet surfaces, I brought the bedding I washed before carefully and neatly making the bed. Soon enough, the bedroom was finished. "Sigh," Looking at the bedroom, it looked clean and tidy... but it—...
Surely it must have held some emotional value - a tinge of belonging -, but now... "It simply... is a bedroom..." A tidied up, clean bedroom devoid of personality or history...
... I left the now emptied bedroom as is, heading to the washroom to finish up my cleaning journey.
The washroom... Well, Cecelia and I both cleaned up after ourselves, so I didn't think there was much to do. I did some simple dusting and wiping down of surfaces, and organized some of our stuff before being satisfied.
Heading back to the kitchen, I made myself some tea before sitting in the common room, looking at the blank black TV screen.
It was a little exhausting cleaning up essentially the entire house alone, "..." Yet I still felt complicated...
Yesterday—I reflected on myself a bit more, but... Was I overstepping myself, as Alicia?
"..." Especially our parent's room - was I cleaning it, or just erasing the past memories and attachments? I felt—well, there was no attachment for me, but—, "..." Surely, Cecelia - or Alicia - must have held some attachment to them...
... ... ...
"Sigh..." I took my cup of tea—, "pawh... Alright." Finished with my tea, I went up to my room to get my violin. I've been practicing when I had the time and for class, but I probably shouldn't forget basic practice during our break. Carrying my case to the common room, I began playing the basic sheets for practice as a warmup before practicing the arrangement my class was currently practicing.
"Hmm mm~lala~♪"
Despite everything, one thing was for certain... For all the changes and questioning of who I truly was, there were some things that perhaps would probably forever stay with Alicia - the love of music and art. Though, regardless of who she was before, I would never forget or throw what I had - or what I cherished - away.
"Welcome back." I greet Cecelia, "How was your time out?"
"It... was nice." Cecelia replied, with an innocent beaming smile.
Looking at her smile, I can tell she really enjoyed her time out. "That's nice - if you ever want to be with your friends, don't feel guilty about having to be with me."
"I... okay." In the kitchen together, we begin organizing the newly bought groceries. "Um—, where... is—,"
"Ah, yeah—it's here." I direct her to where I put all the seasonings, "Yeah, sorry for doing it on my own, but I decided to tidy up and organize the stuff around the house. If there's anything missing, just let me know."
"I—okay..."
With that, organizing everything went smoothly. I had to direct Cecelia where stuff was a few more times, but afterwards we ate dinner together, ending in the common room together after we ate.
"What did you do today with your friends?" I was curious - I still really didn't know much about Cecelia, so knowing about her friends would help.
"I—well... um—," Yet, she looked flustered when I asked. "I—well... um—after they saw me heading to the store and... um—I told them, one of them asked if I... wanted to come visit."
"That's nice." I thought back—despite being close, I never visited Kaeula's residence... Well—I suppose not much could have been done due to circumstances and my busyness. "So—you still didn't mention what you did other than that... and—well, you also didn't mention who your friends were."
"I—," Suddenly her face went bright red, "I—um—!"
"Huh, Cecelia?" She suddenly bolted upstairs, flustered, leaving me bewildered and completely lost... "Did I do or say something odd?"
... well...
"Sigh..." Whatever—it was odd and sudden, but I wasn't too worried. Whatever it is, she wasn't frightened or put off by what I said. "I doubt I'll figure out from her..." given her reaction, I figure I should leave it at that rather than pushing and wondering the reason for her embarrassment.
Seeing that she ran off, I went to my room - there wasn't much to do in the common room alone. Back in my room— "Ah..." The coat of arms laid on my bed, reflecting the light of the evening sun. "I should probably find somewhere for it." Though, looking around my room, "..." There was no obvious place to put it. It was essentially a somewhat heavy, relatively thin shield-like shape, so it either needed to be hung or required a stand to support it properly.
"... Sigh..." Letting out a sigh, I decide to put it in a cabinet for now. I'll probably have someone custom make a stand for it one day.
At last, laying on my bed "Haah—" Taking a deep breath, I simply reflected upon myself...
... why am I in such a mess right now?
Perhaps I was just exhausted lately... That in mind, I turned off the lights and laid back in bed.
