I started when an arm was thrown over my shoulders.

"Chelsea! Let's get lunch together," Jenna said, offering me a big smile.

"Um," I said, glancing back at her. "I don't think--"

During the lecture today, I'd deliberately chosen to settle down two rows away from where she and Lucas were sitting, pretending not to see her waving enthusiastically at me. I didn't want to have to acknowledge Lucas just to sit beside Jenna, but also I didn't want to be questioned on why I was ignoring him.

Unexpectedly, she was alone. Lucas wasn't anywhere near us. I swept my gaze over the large crowd of students who'd attended the lecture along with us, and I finally managed to catch sight of a mop of brown curls among another cluster.

"It's going to be just the two of us, okay?" she said brightly, as if she had caught on to what the problem was.

Oh. That was okay, then.

"Okay," I said, returning her smile.

"I'm starving," she said, steering me towards the large hallway. "I didn't get to eat breakfast today!"

"Did you wake up late?" I asked, striding faster to keep up with her.

"I slept through my alarm! I barely had time to wash up before my first lecture." Jenna ran a hand through her hair, smoothing it out between her fingers.

I made a sympathetic noise. "That sucks."

"So," she began in a much lower voice, now that we were a little further away from the rest of the students, "is everything alright with you? I noticed that you and Lucas haven't really been talking lately. And I'm pretty sure it's him you're avoiding, because whenever it's just me, you still sit with me in class."

I cast surreptitious glances around our surroundings, checking that no one was listening in on us.

Jenna was a really cool person whom I couldn't see taking Lucas' side once she heard what had happened between us. On the other hand, however, she was still on good terms with him at the moment. What if she brushed it off in favor of giving her friend the benefit of the doubt, simply because she didn't know Nolan personally?

The hesitation must have shown on my face, because she removed her arm from my shoulders and looked concerned.

"Did you get into an argument? Did he do something to you? I tried asking Lucas about it because he didn't seem surprised about your behavior."

"Wait, you asked him about it? What did he tell you?" I asked, fiddling with the bottle cap of my half-finished iced tea.

"Not much," she said. "I'd like to hear your version of it, actually. That's why I'm asking you. Of course, you don't have to tell me what happened if you're not comfortable. I'm just a bit worried because you seem really bothered by his presence."

She was being so sweet. I didn't know what kind of tale Lucas had spun her. I doubted he had told her the whole truth, because I was sure Jenna would have mentioned it and wouldn't be so cool with him. Had he made me sound like I was making a mountain out of a mole hill, had he made up another story entirely, or had he simply brushed off her question?

We left the building and stepped out into the sunshine-filled open air.

"No," I said. "I don't mind telling you. Jen, do you remember when my boyfriend came by to have lunch with me last week?"

"Yeah. His name is ... Nolan, right?"

I grinned slightly as appreciation washed over me. "That's right. A few days ago, I overheard Lucas making fun of him behind my back with my friends."

Jenna's mouth fell agape, and her brow furrowed.

I continued, "I confronted him. He didn't believe that Nolan was actually my boyfriend because he thought that he looked too young to be a college freshman. He mocked me for asking someone to pretend to be my boyfriend in front of him."

"What?" Incredulity filled her voice as she spoke. "Wait, why would that even cross his mind? What reason would there be for you to fake a relationship?"

He hadn't told Jenna. Then again, I could understand since nobody would publicize how they were rejected.

Reluctantly, I said, "He kind of asked me out on a date a few days before that. I told him I had a boyfriend. Since I hadn't mentioned Nolan before, he thought I was single. So when Nolan showed up, he thought I was deliberately trying to rub it in his face. Lucas made it clear he was insulted that I chose a guy who looked younger to 'play the part', and he wouldn't believe that we were really in a relationship."

Disgust was written all over Jenna's face. "That's so rude and disrespectful. I never knew Lucas was like that."

I sighed. "He even suggested that I should've chosen someone who actually looked our age to do that with. Then he insinuated I liked young-looking guys when he realized that I was telling the truth. I've been dating Nolan since we were both in the tenth grade!" Not to mention that Nolan was technically one year older than me.

"The audacity," she gasped. "He told me he had no idea what your problem was, which obviously wasn't true because he acted like he didn't care that you were ignoring him. When I pressed him, he said that you were probably being a drama queen over nothing! No wonder he didn't want to tell me what happened. If I were you, I wouldn't talk to him either."

"He was so rude right up until the end when he stomped off," I said. "I really got the impression that his ego got bruised or something. He was acting so salty about it."

"That's horrible." Jenna scowled. "People can't help the way they look. He wouldn't like it if someone made fun of his crooked nose."

I couldn't stop a snort from escaping. "Wait, you just made fun of his nose."

"I wasn't," she said with a straight face. "I was giving an example of what he wouldn't like. It's not like he's flawless. Nobody's perfect. Who cares if your boyfriend looks younger? Lucas doesn't have the right to judge anyone like that."

"You think Nolan looks younger?"

The words just came out of my mouth. I knew that it wasn't the focus of Jenna's rant about unqualified judgement, but it was the sole point my brain had latched on to.

She seemed taken aback by how I'd blurted out the question.

Somehow, I couldn't stop myself from asking, "Do you think he looks younger than me?"

Already?

"Yeah, a little," she said, waving a hand dismissively, "but who cares? It's not like it really matters, right?"

I fought through the sinking sensation in my chest to say, "Right. Thanks, Jen."

Since she hadn't said anything when I first introduced them, I had assumed that she didn't think anything about Nolan's appearance.

Now I realized that she was being polite to keep that thought to herself or it just didn't matter to her. Either way, it didn't change the fact that, evidently, everyone already thought that Nolan looked younger than me.

I wanted to get Nolan's take on this, because we hadn't had a single conversation about this topic since the night we officially started dating, but what would talking to him about this do?

I doubted either of us could actually do something about it beyond waiting until everyone grew suspicious and watching the whole thing implode in our faces.

---

Usually, when we were outside, Nolan would hold out his hand in a small, subtle turn of his palm towards me, and I would take it.

However, the presence of other people in the same vicinity tonight made me too self-conscious to do it. A rowdy group moved past us, and I caught a few passing glances from them. Logically, I knew that we probably didn’t even register in their minds, that we were just another one of the many couples walking around on campus grounds to them. If I were being rational, I knew that they weren’t looking at us.

I averted my eyes from Nolan’s hand, which was currently turned up, waiting for mine to slip into it. Would he question things if I acted like I didn’t notice?

I secretly wished that we hadn't established the precedent of always holding hands when we were out and about. After all, there was no rule that said loving couples were required to always hold hands. Why had we made it our unspoken rule?

In the two years that we had been together, there was no single moment—unless we were in class or under teachers' supervision—that we didn't hold hands. Ashley always cooed over our little habit, finding it adorable. I always joked back that we were clingy like that.

A few seconds passed. Nolan, obviously having noticed my hand was still absent from his, turned his head to look over his shoulder at me.

“You okay?” he asked.

I pasted a smile onto my face. “Yeah, of course. Why?”

He said nothing, but he studied my face before reaching down to grasp my hand. Fighting off the panic screaming at me from the inside that people were going to see, I let him and squeezed his hand back.

I had no excuses now that he had gone out of his way to hold hands with me.

If I suddenly refused him now, Nolan would know that something was wrong.

I wasn't ready to have this conversation with him, especially since I'd spent the last three nights mulling over the last time we'd talked about this. I’d tried recalling that memory in detail, the things he’d said and explained to me.

He had told me that he didn’t know what the future would hold for him. He had told me he didn’t know if he would age, and what kind of problems we would face because of it if he didn’t. He had told me all of that, and I had brushed it all aside anyway.

And now the consequences were staring me in the face, and I no longer had the right to decide I didn’t like them anymore.

I cast my thoughts around for a cheerful topic to talk about.

“I can’t wait for summer break,” I said. “I’ll bring you to my favorite places!”

We had plans for Nolan to come back with me to visit for a couple of weeks when I returned home during summer break. My parents were actually the ones who had suggested inviting him over, happy to host him.

“Yeah. You should bring me to the beach where you used to go to stargaze, too.”

I beamed. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you get to see everything.”

“Okay,” he said. “I want to see the world you grew up in.”

“And you call me cheesy.” I nudged him with my elbow, but deep down my insides were rapidly turning into a mush of cozy happiness.

“Coming from someone who tried calling me ‘cupcake’, really?”

He peered down at my face with raised eyebrows.

I blushed.

Sometime during the eleventh grade in Fairwood, I got really preoccupied with the idea of having couple pet names. Obviously, it was a result of me paying too much attention to how other couples ‘coupled’ since we got together, but I envied the way many of them—fictional or non-fictional—used exclusive pet names as a term of endearment.

“It was a phase, okay!” I wailed. “Can we never bring that up again?”

“But I like teasing you, princess,” he said, using the pet name he knew would invoke the maximum cringe effect for me. “It’s my favorite pastime.”

“Call me princess one more time, and I’ll call you prince!”

“Suits me just fine. I mean, you’re the one who actually has to say that word.”

“You bully!”

I was about to bury my face into his arm like I always did. Before I could do that, I caught sight of someone from one of my classes walking in our direction, close enough for me to recognize his face. Would he notice me? If he noticed me, would he notice how we were obviously a couple despite me looking so much older than Nolan?

Rapidly losing the desire to horse around while we were out in public, I looked away instead.

“You know, I want to visit your hometown too,” I said.

If he spotted the subject change, which he most definitely did because he glanced down at me, Nolan gave no hint of it in his reply.

“I’m happy to have you,” he said, “but I’m not as familiar with the area. I didn’t really grow up there with my father. I can’t give you whole tours around my town like you can.”

“I don’t mind. I want to visit anyway.”

“Okay. Maybe sometime during summer break after my visit to yours?”

Nolan squeezed my hand gently. I squeezed back.

“Sounds good,” I said. “We’ll figure out the details again.”