Right after that conversation with Uncle JC, I started watching people pray, instead of joining in their prayers. I watched how they prayed, when they prayed, the words they said, the tones they used, how often they prayed, what they prayed for out loud, then I wondered what they prayed for in silence. I watched people pray one way at the dinner table, another way in church, pray complex prayers, simple prayers, and prayers that were memorized and repeated. I saw them give thanks, beg for forgiveness, ask for healing or good health, ask for needs, ask for protection, ask for deliverance, ask for wants, ask for the good of others, and the good of self, for victories, success, accomplishments.
I could only think to myself, WOW! I could not imagine having even one needy person in my ear let loan a billion! Then I did the math, I love Math. That's 41 million wants and hour, 694,000 a minute. Now that's if each asks just once a day. God has a hard job! Now since 1983 these numbers changed... DOUBLE IT, add another 25% and factor in the plague variant. Thank him that we do not have to take a number and wait.
Now the only person I ever saw just have a normal conversation with God was Uncle JC. Of course, he had the prayers he said in Church out loud and the ones at dinner time, but those were like all of the other people who prayed. I imagine Uncle JC's conversations with God were like needed coffee breaks where God got to actually just have a friend and talk about something normal.
I decided that Uncle JC must know something that the rest of these people did not know. Maybe he read it somewhere in his bible or learned it from somewhere. But his way just made more sense and seemed less demanding.
So, I decided to give just talking to God a try. I talked to him about my schoolwork, my family, my friends, my art, the weather, The beauty around me, the boy I liked, my brother Ricky, the chattering squirrel in the tree outside my window, the latest episode of my favorite TV shows, the kids at school that made fun of my hair, about my hopes and dreams, about the fact that I was struggling to read, about my spelling, about the people at church, about my feelings of not fitting in, about the neighbors, and anything else that popped into my head. I would greet him each morning with "Good Morning God, what kind of day will we have today?" and each night, "Good night God, thank you for listening today and spending time with me."
This was the perfect relationship; I talked, he listened, and it was all good. God became my friend, my confidant, my therapist, my confessor, my secret keeper, my chore buddy, my story listener, the one I vented to when things were bad, and even my partner in crime (to some extent, he was more like a partner in mischief and mayhem, no real crime). We went on adventures, we took journeys, we would explore the excesses of imagination. Finally, I was not so alone.
I took comfort in the relationship I was developing with God. And faith grew stronger.
Something good would happen, "Thank you God!"
Something bad would happen, "You got me? I may need you."
I would slip and use his name in vain, "Sorry God, please forgive me."
If I saw a need, "hey God, please help them."
If I could not find the positive, "Hey God, please show me something good."
I did not wait till mealtime and bedtime to talk to him about the things in life, I just talked. ALL THE TIME!
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