*Homura POV*

- Hmph! (That went well.)

That's right.

I gave my speech and I did quite well, if I say so myself.

Sadly I wish I had practiced, but these shinobi can spot if something is not natural.

So it had to be improvised... just wished it wasn't the Major's speech from Hellsing that came to mind first.

..............

.......

Who am I kidding?

It was a total disaster.

I almost said that we should make war on all other countries than our own.

I sounded like a sociopath in the making...rather than an overzealous patriot.

If this were a test orchestrated by Danzo or for joining root, sure, my answer was appropriate. 

But it isn't.

... Who could have predicted that a computer was so bad at delivering speeches?

Must be nice... not having a moral compass upon which every decision relies.

After that fiasco, it would be a miracle if I didn't already fail the exam.

Mentally unstable.

Is now the most likely reason as to why I will never get a second shot. 

I did not just ruin this exam, but probably all the ones that come after...

... I need to do whatever it takes to show my worth.

Whatever comes next, will be my only chance to redeem myself.

In the words of Herr Stark... This is the endgame.

... I can't believe I thought about that in this serious situation... Why is my mind so messed up?

-*sigh*- Unable to control my feelings of inadequacy my body released a sigh almost on cue, to stop me from further going down the hole I had dug myself in.

- Did not go well? The questions they asked me were pretty easy.

Before I knew... I had crossed paths with my most vicious enemy that I had made for myself in this world.

A monster with no morals and strength beyond any other that I have met so far... a monster that hid its malevolence and wickedness with that seemingly pure smile that it always showed to others. 

Under the threat of physical and emotional pain, I had to change my entire personality upon meeting it every single time.

No matter the state of mind I found myself in at that moment.

In other words, it was a monster that had managed to oppress everything about me the person that I currently am.

- O-oh! It's you Yamahiro-san!?Good morning!

I immediately bowed Yakuza style.

In my previous life used to be a huge fan of the dragon of Dojima, so I know very well how to please bosses. 

My back bent so straight, that I am now no different than a small, but sturdy dining table.

In order to show absolute subservience and reaffirm that I am no threat to their power or might.

It is the biggest proof of respect and sincerity, besides giving your life or your firstborn son in the criminal world. 

- It's so good to see you, Yamahiro-san! I was worried that I did not get to see Yamahiro-san in the morning, but seeing you here warms my heart. We should do this more often, b-b-but look at the time, I have to go!

Why the "san" after their name instead of "sama"?... as all yakuza and bears know, you have to show respect for the ones that took you down. Especially... when they did it so easily.

"Sama" means that the boss didn't climb up this far in the food chain through hard work but because of the circumstances of their birth, so the suffix "San" is more appropriate. 

Besides, showing genuine respect.

It is also the best way to go about this... don't want people knowing that I went down like a chump!

The ninja tale of my greatness just started... this would shatter all respect people will have for me in the future.

... Also, when did they take my back? 

- Stop with the san already, and you get my family name wrong every time. It is not funny anymore! I will really get mad! (???)

- Wha?... (It isn't?! I-it's not time for that!... I have been saying the wrong thing all this time! I'm dead!!!) Forgive me!!!

I immediately went for a dogeza.

The absolute proof of submission among humans.

From ancient Egypt to the far East, the dogeza, is the absolute proof of subservience among primates, bears show their tummies by the way.

- ( Forgive me!? What is going on?! My mind and my body are betraying each other... This must be what true fear is like...)

- Hmph! For some time now, you have been acting quite distant from me. I thought you were going through another one of your phases but...is everything okay, Homura?(???)

What is this?

Reverse psychology? 

Gaslighting?

-(I-I need to find a way out as fast as I can!)

I try to look around as discreetly as I could and realize that I was in a hallway with several children passing by.

Several of the kids are even looking my way.

-( Sh*t! I just showed my subservient side to others! I need to find a way out as soon as-! Oh!)

From the corner of my left eye, I managed to spot a very distinct spiky-haired blond brat that I just happened to become acquainted with and who owes me a lot of money.

-(N-Naruto? Naruto! That's right! He is my ticket out of this mess!)

Not only that but, if Hiruzen sees me with him he may even allow me to pass the exam regardless.

- (Although, he doesn't seem to care too much about Naruto's situation... F*ck it! A shitty card is better than no card at all.)

I got up in a jiffy and pretend that Naruto called out to me.

 - Ah! What was that?! Naruto! Naruto is calling me!

I pointed towards Naruto who clearly didn't see me and was only paying attention to the dark-haired boy, with his hands inside the pockets of his shorts and sporting a semi-mean look plastered on his face.

It seems that their love for each other is starting to bloom already.

The ship we all wanted, but never got; because Kishi p*ssied out.

Regardless, this is a historical moment that all true fans of Naruto cannot miss and I was given the chance of assisting it live.

- Sorry, I have to go. Farewell Yamah-I mean Saya-san!

- Ah! Wait!... There he goes again... He is getting faster by the day. (Saya)

I start running away at full speed. 

I am too afraid of how the entire conversation might turn out if I give her time to speak.

She always forces me to do things that I couldn't care less.

And then uses force to keep me subdued. 

It's the usual pattern of abuse.

That's why for the last year or so I chose to focus on my stamina as I trained.

It is something I learned from watching anime and the flash.

If I can outrun any foe, I will always survive.

Which is a win in my book.

- (No, no, no, don't look back! You are faster now! She will never catch me again!)

I sped my way through the sea of nameless brats until I managed to find Naruto and we waited together until the next part of the exam.

Chapter end

*Even more controversial than the last chapter, probably gona make even more enemies.*