For as long as I could remember, I always felt different from others.

I can't explain it in detail, but every time others smiled at me, I felt repulsion.

No one was cruel to me, everyone admired and loved me.

It made me very sad that I was the only one who felt disgust towards others so I tried to change that disgust into joy.

One day, I tried to help a maid clean a vase resting on a high shelf.

I told her I could hold the chair, but she said it wasn't necessary.

Maybe it's because of my small stature.

What I didn't expect to happen happened.

The maid tripped and the vase broke.

My mother came running as she was in the adjoining room.

"What happened? Oh by the goddess."

"Are you all right? Are you hurt Alvin?"

"No. I'm not, but she..."

I turned to look at the maid to tell my mother, but then I was dumbfounded.

She had cut her arm.

The pain on her face was evident, but she was trying to hide it.

"I-I'm fine. More importantly, is the young master safe?"

"Y-Yes."

I replied sheepishly.

The maid on the other hand was smiling despite hiding her pain.

It was at that moment that I understood.

(What a magnificent look.)

I understood that I was rotten from birth.

It was the first time I smiled from my heart.

Seeing her so vulnerable, so fragile. It made me see that when others are hurt, I am happy.

This unpleasant feeling is my own happiness.

I am sorry dear mother and father, but your only child came out defective from birth and it is not your fault.

That same day, but in the afternoon, I went to see my father who was working hard.

"Dad, I want to ask you something."

"What's wrong Alvin?"

I walked over and he put me over his knee.

"Tell me. Am I a bad son?"

"A bad son? You?"

"Hahahaha. How funny you are Alvin."

"You are a great son. Our first and only son."

"I wish my body could have allowed me to be able to have the strength to bring more children like you into this house. But I'll never say I don't enjoy you being our only angel."

"I see. But, when the maid got hurt earlier... I laughed."

"...Did you laugh at her for falling?"

"No. I laughed at her enduring the pain."

"..."

At the time, I didn't understand his silence, but in time, I managed to decipher it.

What should a parent answer when his child asks if it's okay to enjoy other people's pain?

The normal answer would be that it's not good, but my dad always tried to bring out the best in everyone and said to me.

"Alvin. We all have bad thoughts, those thoughts are from the bad part of our heart."

"Bad part?"

"That's right, we have a kind voice and an evil voice inside of us."

"The kind voice is the one that tells you when you do the right thing, while the evil voice is the one that makes you think and say horrible things."

"What you say is the evil voice that wants you to be a bad child."

"But daddy knows that Alvin is a good boy, and so he will always listen to that kind voice. Right?"

"Yes. Thank you daddy."

"Okay. How about if I leave this here and we go get you on the swing?"

"I want to go up! I want to go up!"

My father surely knew I was defective, but as he said. "I'm his only son" and therefore he couldn't get rid of me.

So he tried to make me look like a good boy and be one.

I decided to indulge him, as I didn't want to be a lost cause either.

◇◇

On my seventh birthday, something unexpected happened.

I was waving to all the boys and girls in the place.

I was bored out of my mind, it was too childish for me.

So I decided to stay away from the place and take a break because single women were harassing Glenn, my father’s right hand man.

In the garden of our house there is a huge forest, I went there to relax for a while from how annoying everything was when suddenly...

"I wonder, what will happen to me when I get home?"

I heard a voice coming from a tree.

As I got closer, I could hear the voice again.

"This is the last time I will look at the sky for some time."

"Why would that be? Do you have vision problems?"

"Kyah!"

I automatically responded to the voice, it was a little girl who was startled by me.

"The tree is talking! It's a cursed tree!"

"Hahahaha, you're so funny."

I laughed a lot, as that little girl was very funny.

As I walked closer to see her, I froze.

It was the first time in my life that this happened to me.

The girl in front of me was wearing a simple fancy dress, compared to the other girls, it was no big deal.

But she was the important thing.

Her sun-blonde hair swayed like fine imported silk.

Skin so white gave her an air of purity that only snow could achieve.

While her beautiful red eyes mesmerized me because of the beautiful ruby color they represented.

This little girl made my heart beat and filled it with an indescribable feeling.

We didn't even ask each other our names, we just played all afternoon.

It was my first time having fun with another kid my age.

She introduced herself after mumbling nonsense.

"I'm Barbariana, but I like more Barbara."

"Barbara, huh?"

"That's a very pretty name."

After she introduced herself, I was about to say my name when we were suddenly startled by him.

"Here you were, young master."

"I'm sure you know what will happen now when the master finds you, don't you?"

Glenn's party pooper came in to annoy. He stared at Barbara.

I knew that look.

The look analyzed whether or not she was someone worth allowing near me.

Ever since I turned four, Glenn would always stand behind me to analyze whether the kids who hang out with me would be a good fit to be friends.

This guy does everything for the Rosenberg Household.

It's annoying how he gets into my personal business.

But what's really annoying is that he won't let Barbara get close to me again.

I have to think of something to help me convince him.

"Glenn! Alvin! Finally."

As if it was a message from heaven, my father came running.

He always fulfills my every whim.

Only he can persuade Glenn, which even my mother can't accomplish.

I ran to him and began to explain everything, I had to convince Glenn's ogre not to scare Barbara away.

But for a moment, I noticed Glenn's same look in my father's eyes.

Years later, I understood it.

That look was the same look he gives when he negotiates with merchants or chats with ministers.

It is the look of one of the most important men in the empire and the look with which he politely rejects all those he dislikes.

It would seem as if everything was against me when...

"I see. So Alvin, she's a friend?"

"Yes. I would very much like to play with her again."

My father suddenly said something I thought wouldn't happen.

"Richard von Rosenberg I am. This is Duke Rosenberg's mansion."

"And this is Alvin von Rosenberg. My only son and heir."

"Nice to formally meet you."

My father embarrassed me for a moment, but Barbara seemed delighted for some reason.

But thanks to this, I was able to keep her out of my life.

What would this feeling be?

◇◇

After Barbara left, Glenn brought me to my parents' bedroom.

I was startled for a moment, they were looking at me seriously despite being in their pajamas.

"Is something wrong?"

"Alvin, what did you think of the little lady you met recently?"

"Barbara-chan was I think."

My mother who always smiles, was with a cold and very serious expression.

The little me didn't understand this interrogation so I just answered honestly.

"I liked her very much. It's the first time I liked a child of my age so much. And even more I enjoyed being with her than at the party."

I said that and my parents stared at each other.

They both nodded and then their warm smiles returned.

"That's fine, if that's what Alvin wishes."

"I can't wait to meet that little girl. Glenn, make sure our schedules are clear for that day."

"As you command ma'am."

It seemed to be all over, my parents said goodnight with their usual goodnight kiss and Glenn escorted me to my room where he gave me strange words of encouragement.

"It makes me happy that the young master finally got a friend."

When he said that word, "friend," I felt a strange twist in my stomach.

Why is that?

I didn't think anything of it until before I went to sleep.

I understood it a little too late.

When I saw Barbara, she reminded me of a porcelain doll my mother takes care of.

Those dolls are a wedding gift from my late grandparents.

That's right. Barbara was like that doll.

So beautiful, so delicate, so fragile.

Above all...

"She's my doll."

I let those words out of my mouth.

This time I didn't feel like it was a bad thing like the time my father told me about the evil voice inside us.

This time it wasn't the evil voice that spoke but the kind voice.

My inner voice told me that Barbara is my doll.

She is a doll so unique in the world, I will not let anyone touch her.

Because one day, just like my mother's dolls that I had so much fun with.

I'm going to break her into a thousand pieces.

◇◇

Before I knew it, I entered the academy.

The years flew by and my boredom grew by the day.

I tried to be a good boy for my parents.

But being someone who was born rotten, I couldn't afford that luxury.

So from time to time, I would start a fight or two at the academy.

I didn't fight directly.

But I would make sure that two boys I didn't know would fight each other.

It's very simple, I would just approach them and tell them that my friends told me that a certain student was badmouthing another student.

I would investigate who they were, first of all, I wasn't going to get two strangers to accuse me of causing a fight.

I'm not an idiot to get caught.

I was always looking for an excuse that would involve a lot of people or a witness so that they would see that I always happened to be on the scene.

Just in case, I would wear a black wig and approach them when there was almost no one near them.

This feeling of seeing others suffer is just like eating.

You are always hungry, but little by little you fill it up until you are satisfied.

That happens to me.

I am so satisfied that when it's time to rest, I rest without hesitation until I get hungry again.

But suddenly, another kind of hunger came to me.

It was a hunger I had never experienced before.

It was the desire for the female body.

My mother told me that this could happen, I didn't think anything of it until now.

But when I look at a woman, my eyes always focus on their bodies.

"Alvin, there you are."

"It'll be lunchtime soon. Shall we have lunch together?"

A familiar voice called to me from behind, it was Barbara my fiancée.

Recently I had begun to see her in a way I never thought I would.

Being at the academy I could tell something, unlike the other girls, Barbara's body has developed too well.

Her body that was once flat, as a board has formed a perfect silhouette like a swan's neck.

Her legs are long and seductive.

Her bottom has become as wide as her hips, when she walks, the way she moves her bottom radiates involuntary eroticism.

Eventually, her small breasts began to grow to be the largest I have ever seen.

I once heard my mother say that they would have to bring in an exclusive tailor to make her bras, I understood why.

Her face is both angelic and mature.

Barbara has become an exotic fruit that anyone would pay to taste.

However, this fruit is mine alone and the time has come to give her a taste.

I walked over to her and took her behind a pillar.

"W-what's wrong Alvin? You're acting weird."

"I'm sorry. But Barbara, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you lately."

"...!"

As I expected, she blushed.

"Th-That's good I think. I think about you a lot too."

"Ah, I don't mean it in a weird way, but I think about things like group studies or what club we'll join next year, stuff like that."

"That's fine with me, but I was talking about this."

I moved my lips slightly closer to her, but she rejected them without hesitation.

"I can't."

She said turning her face away.

"Why?"

I replied since it was unexpected that rejection.

She looked at me with puppy dog eyes.

"It's not that I don't want to kiss us. I've been looking forward to it a lot, but I'd like our first kiss... to be in a special place, don't you think?"

(Why is a kiss something important to you?)

(Mom always kissed me on the forehead or cheek just like you, it must be the same one on the mouth, but with a taste of what we will have eaten that day.)

Her attitude was starting to annoy me so I coaxed her by playing along with her answer.

"I understand what you're saying Barbara."

"But isn't it romantic to be back here hiding?"

"Huh?"

"It's true. Look, it's just the two of us here and there's no one around."

"A first kiss is something you don't forget and this place, unlike a park or a beach that can represent a random kiss, doesn't make this moment something special, does it?"

"That's..."

She was falling. Every once in a while I realize that controlling people is very simple.

You just have to hear what they say and then you make them hear what they want to hear, but from your point of view.

(I think this is called charisma...)

She looked to look to the side and suddenly stared off to the side.

"What's wrong?"

"Come with me."

She took my hand and led me to another place.

This one was wider but people usually don't come here because it is for praying, as it is near a chapel that no one uses.

It is the statue of the three gods.

Barbara approached the statue and entwined her arms around my neck.

She slowly approached it with an embarrassed look on her face.

"I understood what you mean."

"I also understood that Alvin is a man, and one of my duties as your fiancée is to keep my fiancé happy."

"And...in this place, I consider that the best choice for a first kiss."

She moved closer to my mouth, I reviewed what I heard from a boy in my entourage and hugged her.

We intertwined our tongues, that being our first kiss.

Barbara's face, red as a tomato, was more pleasurable than the kiss itself.

It didn't feel special at all.

The exchange of saliva seemed unnecessary.

While she touched her lips delicately with that face full of purity.

"Alvin... How was it?"

I wanted to tell her my honesty. But I decided to lie to make her happy.

"I liked it very much, I hope I can have more."

"More, you say?!"

"..."

She was upset at first, but calmed down after thinking about it for a while.

"It's okay...if Alvin wishes for us to kiss again some other time...I don't mind at all...it's my obligation as your fiancée."

The embarrassed but clearly eager-for-more manner made me feel that the kisses were worth it.

I hugged her without even thinking about it.

She looked at me in surprise.

But her face changed to one of joy as she hugged me back.

"I love you Alvin. And I will always prove it to you."

"I know. By the way, it tastes like strawberries."

"Ah, you didn't have to say that!"

Thank you Barbara, you are without a doubt.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it."

The perfect doll I want to touch forever.

◇◇

It's been a while since Barbara was accepting my little whims, the kisses have started to increase more and more, much of the time being her proposing.

Today was no different than yesterday, but I thought of something that really interested me.

I removed my tongue from her mouth and asked her.

"Hey Barbara, can I ask you something?"

She still had red cheeks, but she could still answer without a problem.

"What is it?"

She said quietly, so I said.

"You know, I'd like to go further."

"Further? You mean out of the academy to make out?"

"I-I don't have a problem with that as long as there are no people around."

"That's not what I mean."

I reached out my hand and touched her pink thigh to make her understand.

She reacted immediately.

"Wait Alvin!"

She pulled me aside, she was trembling in a cute and pathetic way.

"I understand you have your needs I told you, but that thing you're proposing is a resounding no."

"Doing what you say...involves a lot of responsibilities. Your mother lectured me about it and I'm sorry, but I refuse to do it until we are married."

I looked at her very angrily, not only is this the first time someone has disobeyed me, it's also the first time she's disobeyed me.

I guess there are times where she wants to feel like she owns the master-pet relationship.

Don't worry, a first disobedience is not punished, but I will teach you not to do it again.

◇◇◇

After Alvin left, Barbara went to the bathroom to relax a little.

"Gosh Alvin, I understand that you love me very much, but you must know your limits."

"How will we do in the future when we get married if you get this stubborn with me?"

She lightly patted her cheeks.

"No Barbara, Alvin is the one who was wrong, you must teach him that you won't always do his bidding."

She was ready to leave the bathroom when she heard some girls come in.

She looked over to see them and they were the same girls who were badmouthing her when she showed up in her classroom.

Her mother told her that she was very pretty, prettier than the other girls, so it would be normal for there to be women who were envious of her.

Barbara trained herself not to fall for their obvious comments towards her.

They even made fun of her chest being big and compared her to a cow, but despite being hurt by that comment, she didn't care.

She went about her business and inadvertently overheard them talking about something that caught her attention.

"Is it seriously that he cheated on you?"

"That's right. That fool said it was because I didn't agree to do it."

"No, wait. Why would your fiancé seek to have sex with a maid while having his fiancée?"

"He said it was because he was in the mood and I refused, then he asked a maid from his family to make him a man and the cretin said it's my fault."

"Waah, that's really horrible that, what's worse is that it's possible that maid ended up pregnant, what will your family do if that's the case?"

"Don't remind me. My dad is really angry with him and there is not only risk of breaking the engagement, but my mother said I should be thankful that he didn't do it with those lawless city women like other men do."

"It's really awful about your case."

The girls left without stopping to talk.

The faucet was still running while Barbara was in shock.

(What did she say?)

(Did her fiancé do it with a stranger?)

(Not only that... said her mother that at least he didn't go with the women of the lawless city...).

Barbara immediately went looking for Alvin.

She desperately searched for him all over the academy campus.

Finally, after being up and down screaming his name, she found him in conversation with an academy maid.

Barbara's heart squeezed tightly, she ran to him and took his hand to lead him away.

Standing in a dark place she said to him.

"Alvin, why were you talking to that maid?"

"She's the one who changes my sheets and I was asking her if she hadn't seen a watch I left in my room. Let's get down to the important stuff, what's wrong with you to drag me around like this?"

Barbara stood panting for a while, her head was in tatters.

Then, with her thoughts clear, she said to him.

"Alvin..."

She hugged him intensely.

"Can you wait until the weekend at least?"

With puppy-like eyes, she begged him to wait.

"What's special about that day?"

"...That will be the day where I will give myself to you."

"So, can you wait until the end of the week please?"

Barbara with tears in her eyes didn't notice the distorted smile Alvin was making.

He wanted to smile more, he was enjoying this moment.

"Barbara, I will wait as long as you want me to."

Alvin hugged her too to show his feelings.

"But if you want it to be this weekend, no problem."

She thought, "There's no turning back."

Deep down she wished her longed-for day would be on their wedding night.

But deep down she didn't want Alvin to do it with a woman he didn't know in order to quench his lust.

Barbara trembled at the thought of someone stealing Alvin's love.

So, on that weekend like any other, they went to a hotel where she gave herself to him.

On that day, a pure flower was plucked leaving evidence of the damage.

After consummating the act, Barbara looked at the ceiling of the room they were in.

She could not move her lower half because of the pain.

Next to her was Alvin sleeping.

She saw him and hugged him.

"Alvin, how was it?"

"It was very exhilarating. I never imagined so many emotions from putting two bodies together."

"Barbara, I love you."

Those warm words made her wounded heart soothe.

(That's right, it doesn't matter that it wasn't a special day.)

(As long as Alvin is with me, any day is special.)

"I love you too Alvin, I will forever love you."

"..."

Alvin thought as he stroked his fiancée's golden hair.

(Just like kissing, it's not a feeling I'm interested in. But the expression you made when I introduced it to you, I liked it a lot.)

(Barbara, you are the best pet in the world. Keep making me happy.)

◇◇◇

Time passed and they made it to their last school year without a problem.

Alvin was enjoying his peaceful life with no problem, in the corridor he noticed three cheerful boys approaching.

They were Fahren's group, Alvin took no mind of it and went on his way as usual.

"Hey Rosenberg, wait a minute."

But he was stopped by Fahren, Alvin looked at him to see him with disinterest and even coldness.

"Well, if it isn't the heir to the Fitzclarence family and friends, what can I do for you?"

"Leave your creepy greeting aside, I just wanted to ask you this."

"What is it?"

What Fahren said, made Alvin for the first time in his life feel what cold sweat is.

"Have you heard about the rumors circulating about you at the academy?"

"R-Rumors?"

Alvin never left any kind of evidence, moreover, he was an exemplary student so it would be rare for someone to spread bad remarks about him.

"Yes. For example, they say that you are the main conflict among some kids."

"Those kids are from families with a history of feuds. As a result they've fought small wars and the palace had to intervene."

Alvin began to sweat, he knows no one has evidence to frame him.

But naming him as the culprit, despite it being a bad language, was too stifling for him.

"Th-That's clearly nonsense, there's no evidence to name me."

"I thought that too. But those same people say that you were the one who reported those things to them."

"They even say that some girls have spread bad remarks about their fiancés, getting their families and those girls' families to fight generating huge chaos in the palace."

"They say you paid them to tell those lies."

Alvin's heart was pounding, so much in fact, that it could be heard by anyone who came near.

Fahren continued.

"Look, I don't care what you or the Rosenberg’s do, but I'm telling you, you are the future duke. You must show a neat and dapper image for your future, that's what old man says, but it really pisses me off that he's trying to clean up the family image with the palace after what my ancestors did."

"Hold it right there!"

A voice came from far away, running at high speed Barbara was approaching.

Her breasts jiggled heavily as her small skirt that almost showed her underwear.

She stood in front of Alvin to defend him.

"May I know what you guys are doing, Fahren-kun and company?"

"Hah? Look Fitz... Fritz... Pitts... Ah, your surname is really hard to pronounce!"

(Look who's saying it.)

They thought their friends toward Fahren.

He pointed to Barbara.

"Barbariana was or something like that. Listen, I was just telling this guy that he should be careful, it's not for you to get all guard dog like that."

A blue vein marked itself on her forehead.

"Uh, ah right. Well, it's my duty as the fiancée of the Rosenberg heir to watch out for him from the bad vipers around."

A clash of egos erupted between them.

"You're telling the great Fahren is a snake!!!? There are better animals to compare me to, like a great lion or a majestic eagle, even a fierce badger."

(Is that what's bothering you?)

His friends thought again, when they saw him.

They took him by the arms and carried him away.

"Alvin-san, Barbariana-san, we are very sorry for the trouble our friend caused you."

"That's right, Fahren stop bothering others."

"Hah? Who the hell is bothering who?"

"Let me go! Myat! Randy!"

"I'll teach a lesson to that blonde with the irritable bitch-like voice!"

Anger was showing more and more on Barbara's forehead, but as she watched them go, she turned to look at Alvin.

"Are you all right? They didn't do anything weird to you?"

Alvin was still a bit in shock, but was comforted seconds after hearing her.

"Y-Yeah, I was just surprised by what he said."

She took his hand and they walked out of there.

"Don't worry, people will always say offensive comments about you because you're the future Duke of the Duchy Rosenberg."

"That is why I am here, as your future wife it is my duty to protect the honor of my husband and family."

For a moment, Alvin's strange thoughts stopped.

But he squeezed Barbara's hand firmly, she interpreted it as a sign that their relationship has reached a new stage of trust.

While him.

(What Fitzclarence said has opened my eyes, I should be more careful when I graduated.)

And so time passed until they all graduated. Without Alvin stirring up trouble like the one, he was holding them back.

◇

I couldn't believe what I had just heard.

It was the first time in my life that I had no idea what to say.

Alvin looked at me as if he was waiting for an answer.

"Well?"

"What did you think of the story that no one else but me knows."

"Personally having a chat and talking about your secret stuff is something I never thought would feel right. I guess personal relationships are very important indeed."

"You..."

I finally started talking and told him his truths.

"You're a fucking freak."

"You're a lunatic."

"Every word of what you said is what a sick person would say, I really feel disgusted by what you said."

"How could you do that to your family?"

"How could you hurt Barbara if you loved her?"

"You're a fucking psycho! I'm glad Eli didn't inherit your fucking head disease!"

Despite yelling at him, Alvin smiled heartily.

"That's what I felt several years ago."

"But you see Razel-kun, I'm a person who was born like this."

"I was born rotten and I will die rotten."

"It's not a lie when I said I loved Barbara."

"I loved seeing her happy while she was suffering in secret, I loved seeing her cry hidden, I really loved when she tried to play strong."

"I love what Barbara was trying to hide."

"Just as you love her, I love her too. Although she seems to be happy with someone her daughter's age."

"She became a sad woman scorned─"

"Don't you dare insult her, you miserable bastard!"

I threw a lightning spear at him, he dodged it easily.

"Hey, hey, take it easy. I was just being honest."

"I mean, how low must she have fallen to go into the arms of a jerk like you?"

"Could it be that she was so frustrated that she couldn't contain those huge, ugly hips she now has?"

"But hooking up with her daughter's fiancé?"

He sighed.

"Barbara, you really are pitiful."

"I said shut up!"

I pounced on him.

Because of his appearance I forgot he was a machine.

Easily my strength was held back by his.

"Wait a bit Razel-kun. I barely finished telling you about my youth. I still have yet to tell you about Eli and how much I enjoyed seeing her smile."

"You son of a bitch! Never mind that you're Eli's father, I'll kill you myself for insulting you both!"

"Ah. It's really a surprise."

A floating monitor appeared, there I could see something I never expected to see in my life, besides today.

"Girls!"

Eli and company were on top of a dragon, a horde of dragons was coming this way.

"I really didn't expect Eli to be so brave. She used to be such a scary little girl, saying 'Daddy, I'm scared' or 'Daddy is the best daddy in the world' and absurd childish things."

"I still have a lot to tell you so you know who I am."

My anger didn't take long to erupt.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAlviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!”

◇◇◇

The mechanical dragons that were fighting Amy and Emily suddenly stopped firing their flamethrowers.

"What's wrong?"

They were both injured, exhausted and confused by everything.

The mechanical dragons were created to stand up to the real dragons.

So when they became aware of their presence, they overwrote the order given by Alvin.

They went straight to attack the dragons.

"Waah! What is that thing?"

"It's really a huge turtle in the sky."

Eli noticed the mechanical dragons approaching.

"Everyone pay attention! Strange metal dragons are coming!"

"Eli-chan watch out!"

The Elion dragon approached Eli and with its strong wind made sure she was affected.

Eli couldn't hold on to the dragon and flew off to crash to the ground.

"Eli-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"

Lily screamed in horror as she watched Eli fall to her imminent death.