“Thank you for coming out today, Sienna.”

 

“No problem at all! Helping my little sister takes precedence over everything else!” The gorgeous lady with the flaring amber hair smiled delightfully.

 

Ever since that morning at the park, I wasn’t able to stop thinking about how little I knew about Desir. No, I knew quite a lot about his present. What food he liked, what things he avoided, what drives him to wake up every day…

 

But that wasn’t enough.

 

I wanted to know more about Desir. Specifically, more about his past.

 

So, I arranged a secret meeting with Sienna in the hopes of learning more about him. After we exchanged our greetings, I brought Sienna to a lovely Parisian Cafe that my girls frequented. Given that Sienna brought us to an upscale French restaurant, this place was the perfect choice to bribe her into talking.

 

“Vérité? How did you know that this is my favourite cafe?”

 

“Oh, it is? What a coincidence!” And given her shiny eyes… I knew my decision was correct. “Just order anything you want. This time, it’s on me!”

 

“Haha, then I won’t be courteous!”

 

Sienna walked towards the counter and ordered a Caramel Macchiato with a Spinach Quiche to fill her belly. Meanwhile, I asked for a Cinnamon Dolce Latte to quench my thirst. We took our orders and settled down on an isolated table near the window.

 

“Mmmm, as usual, their Quiches are legit!!!” Sienna squirmed after taking one bite of her tart. “Do you want a bite, Althea?”

 

“No, I’m fine.”

 

“Hehe, suit yourself!”

 

With nothing holding her back, Sienna continued munching on her Parisian treat, all while downing the pieces with her favourite beverage.

 

“Alright! Now that I’ve received my payment, I’ll open my mouth! Tell me, what do you want to know?”

 

It’s good that Sienna was sharp. I only told her that I needed some help, and she had already deduced that I was talking about Desir. Seriously, I really am a child compared to someone like her. Sighing, I said: “Could you tell me more about Desir?”

 

“Sure! What do you want to know?”

 

“... What was he like in the past?”

 

“The past? Hmmm… Honestly, I didn’t have much of an impression of him back in the day.” Sienna dropped her spoon onto the half-eaten Quiche and scratched the bottom of her chin.

 

“When we first met, I’d only known him because he was Len’s friend. You see, before I dated Len, the pair were basically attached to the hip. They were roommates, classmates, best friends, orientation mates, badminton buddies… In fact, when I had first gotten together with Len, I was jealous of how close they were.”

 

“Really?”

 

That was surprising… I’d always imagined Desir as an independent wolf that did everything alone. I would have never guessed that Desir and Len were that close back in university.

 

“Oh yes,” Sienna chuckled. “Before I dated Len, there were whispers that claimed that the pair were more than just friends. You know, since neither of them had girlfriends and spent all their time together.”

 

Desir and Len? In that kind of relationship? Now that would be a stretch, wouldn’t it? Desir was a full-bodied man with a chest that could break down steel. Len, on the other hand, was a handsome chap with a soft yet firm demeanour… No, wait… I could totally see them getting shipped.

 

No, no. What am I doing, imagining such things?!

 

“Ahem… So what was Desir like to you?”

 

“To me? Desir was always gentlemanly. He’d never changed how he behaved, to be honest. Ah, there was one different thing! Back when I’d first met him, he was extremely fat!”

 

“Yeah, I’ve heard.” It was hard to imagine, given that the Desir I knew had eight packs and biceps that could choke a deer. Ah… Just thinking about that day where I saw him topless made my face turn red.

 

Sensing my embarrassment, Sienna leaned in with an impish smile: “Then, do you know what prompted him to lose all that weight?”

 

“What is it?”

 

“I heard that it was because of a girl.”

 

“W-What!!!”

 

Unconsciously, I slammed my hands on the table and leapt to my feet. My voice was raised, and that drew the eyes of everyone in my surroundings. I blinked twice before realizing my folly and sat down while apologizing for my outburst.

 

“Huehuehue, you really do like him.” Sienna watched it all unfold with a mischievous laugh. “Don’t worry, you’re safe. Even if Desir did meet her again, he wouldn’t have an ounce of feelings for her.”

 

“W-Why is that?”

 

“Ah… Hmmm...”

 

Sienna folded her arms and pursed her lips in thought. It looked like she was struggling to tell me the truth.

 

“It’s not really my story to tell… You know what? Let me call Len over. Our apartment is just a few minutes away, so he’ll be here in a jiffy! He knows Desir better than anyone! If there’s anyone that can tell you about Desir, it’s him!”

 

“Oh… Okay...”

 

Honestly, that was a much better choice. In fact, Len was obviously the first choice if I wanted to ask anything about Desir. However, I wasn’t that close to him yet, and it didn’t seem right to call Len behind Desir’s back.

 

But… Desperate times call for desperate measures!

 

Like Sienna had said, it didn’t take long for Len to arrive at the cafe. He found our table and leisurely walked over, and sat next to his girlfriend.

 

“Good afternoon, Althea. Where’s Desir?”

 

“They’re not attached by the hip, you know?”

 

“Haha! Right, right! It’s just, every time we’d met, Desir was always a few steps behind. Who knows? Maybe he’ll do a jump scare and surprise us all?”

 

“You and your stupid imagination!”

 

Sienna lightly admonished him by gently slapping the guy on the forehead. However, even after being hit, Len simply chuckled and brought the fiery woman into his embrace. Immediately after, Sienna’s face softened as she leaned her head on his neck. And in response, the blonde man gave the beauty a soft kiss.

 

Ah… That expression.

 

Would I ever get to see that from Desir?

 

“...”

 

“Althea?”

 

“Hmmm, a-ah! Sorry! I spaced out there!”

 

“No worries,” Sienna smiled before straightening her back. “Len, Althea and I were just sharing Desir stories. So it’s your turn! Could you tell us what Desir was like as a child?”

 

“Oh? There was such an amusing topic?” Len laughed and leaned forward. He supported the weight of his head with his elbow and remarked: “Alright, I’ll bite. What do you want to know?”

 

“Everything.”

 

“Woah, then we’ll be here for a while,” Len replied with a smile. “Hah… Where to begin? Desir was always a funny person. There was only one person that could consistently make me laugh, and that was Desir.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeap! I remember that there was one time during a hiking trip in the mountains, he would leap into the forest and behave like a panda in the zoo. Every time he rolled, I would drop on the floor, grabbing my stomach. Hehehe, just remembering it makes me smile.”

 

Wow… That’s different… I could never imagine Desir rolling around in the forest now…

 

“And even though Desir was a bit of a prankster, he was also one of the smartest kids I knew. He would consistently top our grade in both Mathematics and the Sciences. He would get all the scholarships and bursaries that our school could give out. Hah… I hate to admit it, but I’d never beaten him once in academics.”

 

Now that sounds more like Desir. Even now, when he would explain some technical jargon to me, I could only nod with a blank face.

 

Alas, that wasn’t what I was curious about.

 

“Ermmm, Len? Could you tell me about why Desir decided to lose weight? Sienna said that it was because of a girl.”

 

“Hmmm?” Len looked at Sienna with a befuddled look. But within those eyes, there was a hidden fury of reproach. It was far from the loving gaze that he’d given her just minutes prior. “You told her?”

 

“Just the part that it was because of a girl. You refused to tell me anything else, so I thought that she should ask you herself.”

 

Hearing Sienna’s explanation, Len turned his eyes to me. The playfulness in his expression was gone, and his face was as ashen as volcanic rock.

 

“Before I tell you anything… I need to know something. Althea, what are your feelings towards Desir?”

 

“W-What do you mean?”

 

“Do you like him? Do you want to date him? Are you serious about getting into a relationship with him?”

 

“T-That!”

 

I choked.

 

Should I lie? No, based on his expression, Len won’t take any lies for an answer. But… What was the truth?

 

What do I want from Desir? Honestly, I don’t know yet. The relationship that I had with him now… I liked it very much. I had warmth, comfort and company. I could share all of my woes with Desir. Just staying by his side… made me happy.

 

But what about the next step?

 

Do I want that for our relationship? Do I want to jeopardize what I already had?

 

“... I don’t know.”

 

“Sorry?”

 

“I don’t know yet. I don’t know what my feelings are and what I want from Desir just yet.”

 

“I see… That’s a shame...” Len sighed and threw his head back. He closed his eyes and deeply exhaled. It was as if the only hope that he had left was extinguished in a bucket of cold water. “Then let me be brutally honest, Althea. If you don’t know, I suggest that you don’t aim to be Desir’s partner.”

 

“Len!!!”

 

Sienna came to my defence with a shriek. However, before she could say anything more, Len raised his hand up and sternly glared at her.

 

“Sienna, please let me talk.” After silencing his girlfriend, Len gave me his undivided attention. “Althea, do you know about Desir’s stance on relationships?”

 

“Y-yes...”

 

“I see… You know it, but you probably don’t understand how serious he is about it.”

 

“...”

 

“Hah… Where to begin?” Len cracked his knuckles and crossed his thighs. “Desir, that lad… He had always been intimidating. It wasn’t his fault; it’s just the way he was born. Even before puberty, he was a massive child. Overweight and with a scary face… And because of that, many children our age avoided him.”

 

Len began narrating their past with a bitter frown.

 

“I only managed to become his friend through circumstance. Although it pains me to admit, if not for those circumstances, I would have isolated him, just like anyone else.”

 

“...”

 

Both Sienna and I remained silent.

 

“Fortunately, we did become friends. The closest of friends, in fact. Our families often allowed us to play together. We had sleepovers, we went camping, we played in the snow… All of my fondest childhood memories came from that innocent time.”

 

“However, innocence can only last so long. Eventually, as we grew older, our bodies started to change. Desir became bigger and bigger with every passing year, and his frame became more frightening with age. His sharp stare and unpleasant face didn’t help either. Naturally, Desir was interested in girls back then since he was just a teenager, unfortunately… No girl would want to even want to stand close to him.”

 

“But when we started going to the same school… everything changed.”

 

Len’s eyes turned dreary, and his bitter smile turned into a frown of self-anger. As if in shame, Len averted his eyes. “Knowing that he was my friend, girls would try to use him to get close to me. They would smile in front of him and dry-heave the moment he turned his back. It was utterly disgusting.”

 

Len couldn’t hide his abhorrence to the girls who had wronged Desir in the past. Who could blame him? If I’d known of anyone that dared to use Desir as a tool…

 

“Even during our freshmen year in a place far away from home, this pattern continued. In the end, Desir was fed up with being sidelined by girls and decided to get in shape. He said that if he couldn’t fix his face, at least he could fix his body. Maybe then, girls might like him.”

 

Desir said that he wanted girls to like him? So then why did he swear off all relationships?

 

“Eventually, after months of dieting and hours at the gym… Desir finally got to an ideal weight. He had a body that all men would be jealous of, and I believed that his romantic life would take a turn for the better.”

 

Len clenched his fists and bit his lower lip: “Alas, all of the girls he’d met were snakes. Time and time again, Desir would develop a crush on someone, only to have his hopes dashed when they revealed their true colours.”

 

It pained me to hear that Desir had liked other girls in the past. However, it saddened me even more to hear that they were all using him. Was that what triggered his distrust in relationships?

 

“Even after he’d lost all that weight… Girls still only approached him to use him. And after years of trying… Desir had given up.” Len finally raised his line of sight to meet mine. “Desir said that since he was unattractive to girls, he shouldn’t bother to date them. And that’s why he swore off all relationships.”

 

I see… So that’s the reason why he didn’t want to date anyone. Come to think of it, he had mentioned it many times. The fact that he was intimidating and unattractive to girls. I didn’t expect that he would have such a pained past.

 

But if that’s the case, all I need to do is show that he’s a stunning man and…

 

“... At least, that’s what he tells himself.”

 

“H-Huh?”

 

Len’s face turned once more. There wasn’t any anger or self-pity. Neither were there any signs of reproach. His face was now just as blank as a sheet of paper.

 

“There’s another reason why Desir denies romance like the plague. The real reason why he swore to be single for his entire life.”

 

“...”

 

Len closed his eyes and took a deep breath. All sorts of emotions ran through his tensed face as he recalled the many memories he had. And after a moment to collect himself, Len said two words with a piercing pain in his voice.

 

“His mother.”