“Do you think that I made a rash decision to come here?” After a long time, Kirill finally asked the question that had been bothering him through the phone. They had small talks about their day before this question came up. They are speaking in Japanese. One is lying down on his bed in his dorm room under a dim light. The other one is lying down on a hospital bed in total darkness of his ward.

“What do you mean?” Taka was confused by the sudden question despite of him being prepared for them to finally have this conversation.

“Well, I left in a hurry as soon as the border opened. I wasn’t completely prepared for what’s to come. I came only with the information given to me by my PI and I have no measures or plans to deal with the perpetrator or any suspects at all. And I kind of just left you there. You, my boyfriend, going through such an important surgery. I wasn’t even there for you. Don’t you think I’m impulsive? Selfish?”

Taka smiles. It was a sad smile. He had long known that with Kirill, things like this bound to happen someday. He had already surrendered to his fate. “Kiri,” Taka called him by his nickname. “You’re that person who would jump down from the second floor to chase after a man who had tried to hurt your friend, the guy who would march through a haunted house with a straight face and protected all of us scaredy cats behind you, the guy people think of as a gang leader who single-handedly beat up random people, you’re asking me if you’re impulsive? You’re kidding, right? You’re the most impulsive person I’ve ever known!” Taka laughs as he heard Kirill laughing on the other end too.

“Spare me from the memories please. My stupidity knows no limits,” Kirill covers his flushed face in embarrassment to think back on his prudish life in New Japan.

After they’re both done laughing, Taka inhales deeply and begins to speak seriously. “Yes. You are selfish too. But your impulsivity and that arrogance are what attracted me to you,” he spoke. They got quiet for a moment before Taka finally has the courage to face the issue that he had long avoided. “I’m considering it, Kiri,” he informed.

“Hmm?”

“I’m considering your prior offer. When you proposed for us to break-up.”

“Hmm.” Kirill only nodded and hummed without a word.

“I know how much your brother’s disappearance impacted you. I know he is important to you. And I can’t win over him. All I wanted to say is that… I understand.” Taka was holding back his tears. He just sighs softly before he spoke again. “Besides, karma will get you anyway for hurting me. I don’t have a big heart. I can’t forgive you just yet so I don’t wish you happiness.”

To that, Kirill chuckles a little. He had always been fond of Taka’s honesty. He values that the most. He values honesty and sincerity. If someone were honest and sincere with him, he will treat them really well. But unfortunately, Taka and him are always walking on a parallel line. They tried from time to time but their lines never crossed one another. They are not fated to be together.

“But I will miss the sex,” Taka added to lighten up the mood. Both of them laugh aloud to the statement.

“I will miss fucking you too,” Kirill entertained the mood. “I will miss leaving marks on you.”

“Go to hell!” Taka cursed. They laughed again. Despite of the laughter, they both know it in their heart that breaking up is painful. They would still be friends and keeping in contact with one another but the other person would no longer be theirs. They won’t walk on the same path. They won’t head for the same destination. The memories were good. But the memories can both make them happy and sad. Because they are now only memories. They are in the past. A past that they can’t return to.

They had small talks before they said goodbye. And once the call ended, Kirill stares at the number and Taka’s name on his call list, knowing it well in his heart that he has lost something great. Maybe he can sort things out again after he found Kliment someday. But now, he can’t keep Taka to himself and be selfish like that. Taka should be free. He doesn’t know how long will it takes for him to finally find his twin brother. So, he should not keep Taka waiting. This is the best for the both of them.

He turns off the light as if the darkness can blind his own heart and mind too. Sleep comes easy without any further unwanted thoughts.

By this time, Kirill has no idea that someone had already left something in his locker at school. The piece of art is only lying there in wait for Kirill to find in order to mark the beginning of a haunting.

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Next update: 2022/02/07

*Author’s Note: In my first few drafts, Kirill’s nickname is K but I decided against it when I realized that that’s my own nickname too WTF. :-P I never had peaceful breakup like this. They are always so messy hahahaha. But I wrote it this way so that you guys can see how mature these two boys are. Sometimes we can’t push it when things aren’t going our way and when we know it’s not going to go anywhere anyway. -K