Familiar, unpainted metal walls welcomed Akio into the medical bay of The Wanderer. Though she only had a migraine from the cold, and a mostly sealed cut across her throat, it was still routine to check-in with medbay upon returning from a mission, however, she did acknowledge that her cybernetics could use some care. Both her left leg and right arm were not moving freely. They creaked and pulled at the muscles they were attached to each time she used them. 

 

Several scattered chairs hosted six others who had recently returned, most of their conditions far worse than her own. Cuts, blood and bruises decorated the faces of those who glanced up at her approach. 

 

Akio stiffly forced herself to continue forward toward the receptionist desk, pulling her ID out of her black jacket pocket. 

 

The receptionist gave a nod, her creepy smiling mask bringing on anything but the lightness a smile was supposed to. “Have a seat, Six. Once the more serious cases have been handled, the doc will have a look at you.”

 

“Thanks,” Akio murmured, having to rely heavily on the muscles in her abdomen to aid in moving her near deadweight metal leg. 

 

Having enhancements like this always came with a downside. If they stopped working during a mission, Akio could end up dead, or worse, captured. With an involuntary shudder, she lifted herself onto one of the grey, hovering L-shaped chairs. It sensed her weight, instantly adjusting to her height. 

 

One of the kids that were waiting snickered, despite the green blood that covered half his orange oblong face. Even though the kid seemed more dead than alive, he couldn’t resist a crack at her short height.

 

Akio corked a brow, as if daring him to incur the wrath of Six. Height jests were not uncommon, and she didn’t care. However, she had a reputation to uphold, as the last of the first batch, the strongest of the troupe. Akio simply did everything to the best of her abilities, hoping to the stars that she hadn’t made the wrong choice. 

 

If I had made the right choice, I would have saved Lemk. Or died in his place. 

 

Clearing her throat, Akio took a large beanie from her pocket, before gently tucking her oi’ek into it. Frankly, she wasn’t in the mood for questions about what they meant, why she felt a certain way, or the reason she returned. Coming back to The Wanderer was a clear indication of failure. If Six had succeeded, she would have been transferred to the Commander’s ship instantly. 

 

With an exhale, Akio took her mini-holopad from her pocket. Her eyes glanced over the biddings of goodluck that she’d received from many of her shipmates. The words that had excited her weeks ago left her feeling bitter, resentful at her foolish past self who thought this sort of an opportunity would come without consequence. Her hands clenched into fists around it, making sparks and shattered glass fling about the room. Starshit. 

 

“What’s your problem, Six?” one of the waiting shipmembers grumbled, shaking glass from her brown blanket and narrowing her ten black eyes. 

 

The receptionist tsked, clicking an intercom. “Clean up in the medbay waiting area.”

 

Akio’s face burned when the janitors rushed in, taking the remains of her holopad and quickly ridding the room of the mess she caused. “Thank you, sorry about that.”

 

Jerry, the lead janitor, gave her a reassuring smile with his razor sharp teeth. The janitors emerald skin sparkled in the overly bright metal room. “Don’t worry about it, Six. I heard about the report from your mission, take it easy.” 

 

Before Akio had a chance to ask what he heard, Jerry disappeared around the bend in his white cleaning suit, whistling an odd tune. 

 

Rumors had already spread? It had been less than an hour since Akio’s return. Even the janitor knew something. Jerry, being the gossip he was, often managed to get information before even Akio did. She shook her head. The security should have been better than that, Jerry could be a commander with all the information he easily came by. 

 

Time ticked by ever so slowly. The others waiting gradually disappeared down the hall, one by one. 

 

Akio felt herself nodding off as she leaned on her hand. The lack of sleep from the weeks of preparation was finally taking its toll. Images of Lemk’s head, and others exploding flashed in her mind, startling her awake in a panic. With a strangled cry, she fell from the chair, landing in a weird sideways position on the floor, her breathing erratic. 

 

“Six, the doc is ready to see you now,” a gentle nurse's voice cooed. 

 

Clumsily rolling, Akio managed to get to her feet again, silently following after the reptilian Lizz nurse. Red scales decorated the nurses exposed arms and long tail as he led Akio past several closed and barred doors. 

 

Distant screams echoed Akio’s head. She wrapped her arms around herself, digging her nails into her forearms to silence them. After last week, she’d never see this ward the same. 

 

Akio shuddered, recalling the missions that had required a week long isolation afterwards, that was usually only done with newer troop members or those who had some sort of major trauma. Her first isolation had been following Saso. Though that lasted over a month because of an investigation into whether she was or wasn’t a traitor. 

 

Everyone here was a weapon. The possibility of someone with these enhanced capabilities lashing out was dangerous. Akio was surprised at how many new members she had seen in the waiting room earlier, especially after having to put down several last week. She still saw their faces every night, the madness in their eyes, and the screams. . .even now they seemed to echo in the nearly empty halls.

 

Not everyone did well with cybernetics. Most of the batch she was from lost it before they were even completely finished. The methods back then didn’t have rules. Now, it was considered inhumane, at least on paper. Because taking in abandoned children and doing invasive surgeries on their bodies without consent is humane, as long as you don’t exceed shoving a certain amount of metal up their spine. 

 

Akio rolled her eyes. Politics didn’t care about anything besides money and power. She knew that like the others, she was nothing more than a number. 

 

The nurse stepped back, his long silver robes swishing across the floor as they sparkled like stars. “Please step in here. I’ll take your basic vitals, then the doc will check the cybernetics and address any other concerns you may have.” 

 

Akio nodded, staring vacantly at the wall as the routine check went on. Upon the nurses parting, she stripped down and stepped into the thin grey robe she once wore as her only clothing. She had first worn it back when she was numbered, and in the process of becoming a weapon. During that time, and even now privacy was something that could only be fantasized about.

 

As a weapon, Akio, and others were not treated as a normal part of society. If she raised her hands too fast, the nurse’s would flinch, and they had every right to. Despite her appearance, she was no longer a regular Se’li. Akio lost that identity the instant her blind eye was gouged and metal was shoved into her five year old skull. 

 

Yet, the older she grew, the less detached she became. It was as if the damned emotions grew stronger with age, alongside her empathic powers. Akio sat on the metal table, swinging her more natural leg freely. Did this mean that soon, she would be put down too? With the possibility of emotional outbursts, no matter how justified they were, Akio could endanger everyone with clouded judgment. How she longed for the days of simplicity when her lack of understanding was warped into apathy. 

 

Her head snapped up, her shoulders stiffening when she heard the door slide open to the windowless room. For now, she would keep this information to herself. There was no sense in alerting the doctor, at least, not yet. 

 

Two sets of feet clicked across the tiled floor. Akio knew both the doctor and engineer had entered. Though the doc had basic knowledge of cybernetics, Akio’s were more complicated. She remembered them speaking like she wasn’t there the last time she broke one. Being part of the first batch, Akio was like an outdated starship, made more durable, but much harder to repair. 

 

Because of regulations following the side effects of her batch, all other children had been limited to one - three additions at most. Akio, on the other hand, had more than six, likely even danced the line between droid and Se’li. Some of hers were out of necessity, because of the state she was in after she was rejected by her parents and her culture. 

 

“How are you feeling, Six? Any complaints?” Doc asked, adjusting his smiling yellow mask over his human face. “The reports say you were exposed to extreme temperatures, so I figured it would be good to have Colins come along to check out the equipment too.” 

 

Akio nodded. “Everything has been moving rather stiffly since I got back, my leg especially.” 

 

Colins, the engineer, nodded, taking out his miniature scanner that appeared as no more than a pen to an outsider. He maneuvered around Doc, his white coat swishing at the rapid movement. Like most of the medical crew, Colins was a Lizz, of noble origin, which was obvious from his gold and black scaled patten. 

 

Green-netted light went over the length of Akio’s body. She watched as it exposed the inner workings of the enhancements in her arms, the gears shifted rigidly, as though a clock that had pins stabbed in random places. That wasn’t a good sign, she didn’t have more than that basic knowledge to understand why. 

 

Colins proceeded to scan her leg, muttering curses in his native tongue. At least, Akio assumed they were curses, based on the way they were expelled. “Low temperatures really don’t mix with the old cybernetics, do they?” With a sigh, Colins put the scanner back in his breast pocket.

 

Taking a bottle from his opposite coat pocket, Colins handed it to Akio. “Besides jerry-rigging of some sort with major surgery, there’s not much I can do, but I can give you something that should get them moving again for the time being.” 

 

With a nod, Akio downed it, before accepting the flask to drown out the muddied oil-like taste that only alcohol could overtake. It burned pleasantly across her tongue and throat, drowning out the mind-numbing guilt that threatened to consume all she was. The guilt for the death of Lemk. The guilt for the children.  

 

Her stomach rolled, but it wasn’t from the taste on her tongue. 

 

Not saying another word, Colins and Doc left, leaving the door cracked to indicate she was free to leave when she was ready. 

 

Akio quickly dressed herself, already grateful for the ease of movement the concoction provided. Just as she was about to step into a boot, a body slammed into her, pulling both of them to the ground, by reflex she rolled to her feet, arms raised. 

 

“Akio! You’re back,” Daria’s youthful voice squealed, proceeding to suffocate Akio with far too tight affection. 

 

With a light laugh, Akio relaxed, and pulled the girl in close, holding her as if to protect her from the dangers of the galaxy for as long as she could. Soon, Daria would get her first mission, and Akio wouldn’t be able to protect her any longer. “Yes, Dar, I’m back.” 

 

Pulling away, Daria helped Akio to her feet. Despite being younger, the teen was over a foot taller than her. The kid had really sprouted this turn, she almost didn’t look like a child anymore, her lanky limbs had grown muscular, getting closer to filling out the torn jacket she wore, but it still extended past her hands when not rolled up. The tattered tan jacket had a name written across the front in faded silver letters, the name of Daira’s father, Commander Devin. It was all the poor girl had left of her parents, she never parted with it, even for repairs. 

 

With a sad smile, Daria twiddled with her long ash-brown braid. “I didn’t think I’d see you again, you’re so good, Akio, why’d they send you back?” Her chocolate brown eyes searched Akio’s face, before landing on the beanie over her oi’ek. “Something went wrong, didn’t it?”

 

Akio paused before turning to put her boots on. “What makes you assume that?”

 

“You only ever wear the beanie when you don’t want others knowing what you’re feeling, and the last time it happened was after,” Daira cleared her throat, “after you put down the kids whose cybernetics clashed.”

 

Closing her eyes, Akio let out a breath, hating the sensation of the oi’ek thrashing about beneath the fabric of her hat. She didn’t want to lie to Daira, but she also didn’t need to burden the poor girl. The kid watched her own parents die, that was enough of a trauma that Akio refused to add to. Even now, five turns later, Daira still woke in the middle of the night screaming. 

 

Pasting on a smile, Akio stood. “It’s nothing like that, I’m just tired.” She shrugged. “I suppose I’m just not Delic material.”

 

Because Delics are monsters who murder without a conscience. I will never be like them. 

 

No matter what, Akio couldn’t let Lemk’s death or the others get to her, no matter how much simply looking into the eyes of the child she’d come to know as a sister reminded her of him. Akio needed to be strong, for Daira, for herself. If she broke, no one would pick up the pieces. If she broke, she’d be put down like a rabid animal. Like a defective weapon. 

 

“You’re a weapon, Six. And weapons don’t weep.”

 

A familiar chime played over the intercom, it echoed sounds like a gentle tap on a windchime. 

 

“Food’s ready. I’ll see you in the mess hall,” Daira called, taking off like the room was on fire.

 

Akio chuckled despite the guilt that wrung her gut into untieable knots, and ate away at her soul. Kids. How could she treat Daira like a sister, then turn around and murder others? 

 

Pressing her hands against the metal wall, Akio took in deep breaths, hoping to relieve the tightness in her chest, and rid her left eye of the tears that gathered within it. What she would give to feel nothing, to feel cold and emotionless, but now, her apathy was shattered. No matter how hard she tried, it wouldn’t come back. She couldn’t disconnect. 

 

A gentle knock sounded on the door. “Akio? Can I come in?” Iyar’s soft voice flitted through the air with a low homely hum, that brought comfort simply by its peacefulness. 

 

Akio straightened, wiping the small tear trail from her cheek. “Sure.”

 

Iyar’s tall willowy frame appeared in the doorway. His grey uniform was crisp, with three silver stars on the left. Unlike all the other staff, Iyar never wore a mask. He was a G’si like Lemk, with greyish blue skin, and six tentacles. 

 

His four royal purple eyes softened. “I heard what happened, with Lemk.” Iyar wrapped four of his tentacles around her tightly. “I’m so sorry, Akio. You did the right thing, love, by not pulling the trigger.” 

 

The small dam holding everything in shattered and Akio sobbed into his shoulder. “He was just a baby, they wanted me to kill an innocent child, Iyar. What kind of monsters do that?” She made sure to keep her voice low, barely a whisper. Within the walls of the ship, there was no way to tell who was watching. “I-I can’t kill someone if they did nothing wrong.” 

 

But last week you did. 

 

“I know, love, I know,” he cooed. “You did the right thing. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.” Iyar pulled away, looking down into her face. “In the midst of this horrible life you were forced into, you’ve managed to have a heart, well, hearts. There are monsters in this ship, and you will never be one of them. Having the ability to feel, to empathize makes you special, Akio. But what’s done is done, you can’t do anything to change what happened.”

 

He paused for a moment, stroking her back in soothing motions. “And those who you put down last week would’ve been killed whether or not you were the one to do it. At least they died cradled in your arms, knowing they were more than weapons.” 

 

Inhaling a shuddering breath, Akio wiped the tears from her face. If she allowed herself to weep, she would never stop. “I don’t want to feel any of this. How is that special?” Of course Iyar would say something so positive about her cursed existence, and she loved him for it, like the father she never had. But, there was no way he could convince her to believe it. “My nature is a curse that I have no control over.”

 

Iyar shook his head. “No, Akio, it’s a part of who you are, no one, not even the commanders can take that away.”

 

As Akio gazed into his eyes, she could feel the sincerity wafting between the empathic connection, and the hurt her sadness caused him. “Maybe someday I’ll come to believe it. But right now, I can’t. I’m sorry.”

 

With a sigh, Iyar pressed a tentacle to her cheek. “I know, little one, and that’s okay.” He stepped away, the splat of his rapidly moving tentacled footfalls echoing in the small room as he went toward the door. “Let’s go grab some food before it gets cold, the others are excited to see you.” 

 

He paused. “I failed my Delic test too, and since then, I refuse to end a life ever again. It’s unfortunate that you don’t get that choice, but someday, I know you’ll escape this hell and be better for it. I’m believing in a brighter future for you, Akio.” 

 

Not knowing what to say, Akio simply nodded, following after Iyar. She doubted things would ever be better. The future loomed bleaker than ever before. Knowing that the people she had become a weapon for disregarded innocent life was like a dagger to the gut. How many others that she had been assigned to kill were innocent? All her life had she been doing the wrong thing? Not that she ever had a choice. 

 

Unlike Iyar, Akio did not have the freedom to choose to leave this life. Once made a weapon, she became the property of the commanders. The only way a weapon left was by being decommissioned with a bullet to the head. 

 

….. ……. ……. ……. ……. ……. …….. ……. ……. 

 

“Arden! Get your water hands away from the meat, you can’t even eat that.” Corwin snarled, his large fangs visible on his royal blue and black spotted feline face. 

 

With a watery laugh, Arden removed his liquid grasp from the plate at the center of the table. “Fine, mister grumpy pants, I was just curious about what would happen if I tried to absorb it.” 

 

Akio shook her head, observing her troop’s antics with amusement. It had been far too long since she’d seen them all in one place. Usually two to three were off on missions. Today was the first time in forever that the entire troop was dining together, and she intended to savor each moment. 

 

Corwin raised his large head, drumming his long claws on the table. “You’ll just make it soggy, that’s what happened last time, and it will happen again this time.” 

 

Taking some flakes of food and sprinkling them into what resembled a mouth, Arden snorted. “It still tasted good. I get bored of these,” he gestured to the brightly labeled bottle, “it only comes in five flavors.” 

 

Rolling his eyes, Corwin returned to tearing into the meat with his mostly metal teeth. His large leopard-like body took up the space of two average sized species. Terrifying muscles combined with the heavy amount of limb replacements had made Corwin a Dweil to be feared. 

 

Akio remembered the day he was received, barely alive, torn apart as pieces of his body were sold on the blackmarket because of the rarity of his species. He’d come a long way since then, she was proud of her troop mate for his strength of heart, and unbreakable perseverance. Akio would never understand the cruelty of the monsters who cut into him like a slab of meat, but she knew that they were long dead. They were among the vastly guilty she had no problem slaughtering. 

 

Glancing to her right, Akio found Hao staring at her, her whiskers twitching in contemplation. The hybrid Gebul and Lizz, began to stroke her white and red fur chin with her scaled hand. There was something she wanted to say, but it was obvious she was deeply debating it. 

 

Hao didn’t like to waste words. Oftentimes, she stayed quiet for days before bringing up an answer to a question from a conversation Akio didn’t even remember having. It was slightly terrifying how her brown eyes swirled with contemplation, but never revealed even the tiniest tell of what thoughts were racing through her head. Hao was calm, most of the time, but sometimes she swayed to the opposite side with raging emotions. It was anyone's guess which version of Hao they would experience that day. Akio heard that her heritage had something to do with the two extremes, but she didn’t want to make specist assumptions and take rumors as truth. 

 

Daira elbowed Hao, her eyes sparkling playfully, it almost masked the tiny dark glint.  “What’s going on in that head of yours? Spill.” 

 

There was more behind that question. It wasn’t innocent. Did something happen between Hao and Daira while Akio was away?

 

Waving her brown paw, Hao turned her gaze to Akio again. “It’s none of your concern, Daira. Keep within your own bubble, thank you.” 

 

Maybe she was processing the information of Akio’s failed mission. That had to be it. Hao had never seemed this lost in thought before. Unless there was something worse ahead. Because of certain mental manipulation powers that Hao had been gifted with, she was a politician for the commanders, and often knew more about the inner workings than the rest of the troop.. 

 

Shaking it off, Akio took a bite of her now ice cold vegetable plate. The mushy and under seasoned mess nearly made her gag. Even after all these years, the chiefs on The Wanderer still didn’t know how to prepare these properly. The purple and emerald dish known as emi was one of Akio favorites, a dish native to her homeworld. It was a kind gesture that they had made it for her after the failure, however, she wished they had simply allowed her access to the kitchen to prevent the disaster before her. 

 

She wouldn’t dwell on whatever Hao was contemplating. When her friend wanted to talk, she would. For now, Akio would simply stay grounded in this moment. There was no telling when or if she’d ever see them again. Her troop was more than her shipmates, they were family, and no matter what, a piece of her heart would always be with them.