Andrea didn't feel much better in the morning. Most of the night she watched the ceiling, wondering if her mother truly felt bad for her or if it was yet another trick. If that woman honestly felt that sorry for her, then she had reason to worry. Marian afforded few people that emotion. Other than a handful of the slower workers whom she hired to do heavy lifting—and Gulliver, who couldn't speak—she rarely gave anyone special treatment.

Sometimes Andrea thought Marian was cruel, but she helped Gulliver make a craft at Christmastime every year without fail—despite the fact that her grandfather had sometimes complained about wasting time with such an archaic leftover from the off-island trades. Other times Andrea wondered if maybe she herself was just hopeless.

She dressed and made her way into work. That morning she sat at her desk and stared at the interface, unable to focus on the data files awaiting her attention. They flashed on the smooth touch screen, but she ignored them.

A soft snapping noise roused her, and she flinched. When she focused on her new colleague's curious brown eyes, she leaned away.

Tanner had snapped his fingers to force her awake. The E said something to her, but Andrea turned her attention to her task, determined to get something done.

The gentle tap on her shoulder surprised her. The look Tanner wore was one of annoyance, and it took a moment before its source dawned on Andrea. She had ignored the man; she had resolved to treat the E as if he didn't exist just because he couldn't communicate. She was taken aback by Tanner's expression. It held no malice, no hurt or injury, just a seriousness that made it clear he didn't like how he was treated.

The stare disrupted Andrea's somber mood. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I...." She paused, wondering if it was better to try to speak even though it was English. Those light brown eyes never looked away, so Andrea decided to pretend the man could understand her. "I apologize. I'm just a bit down, but that's no reason to take it out on you."

Her words held no meaning for Tanner, who did not respond. The E wore a curious expression; maybe he wasn't sure if Andrea intended to continue.

When Andrea sat back with a sigh, the bald E did something strange. He reached across Andrea and took a sheet of paper from the meager stack on Andrea's desk.

Andrea's eyes widened, alarmed by the gesture. The Colony was strict about recycling everything, and due to its low amount of plant life, almost all paper was replicated. Even replicated paper was still taboo for everyday use, so although everyone in the office was given a small stack as a status symbol, the fact that Tanner used it so casually was startling on many levels.

After a short moment, Tanner put a small paper heart on Andrea's desk and leaned forward until their eyes met. Language barrier or no, Andrea knew a "'watch this'" expression when she saw one. When the E pulled the back of the paper heart and it appeared to be beating, Andrea's face lit up. She even let out a soft laugh that carried through the silent office.

It wasn't the heart that made her smile; she wasn't sure what it was. Tanner gave her that quiet smile of his and put the paper down again.

Andrea bowed. When she met the E's gaze, she said, "Thank you."

"Bitte schön," Tanner said. He paused and cleared his throat. "Please."

Please? Andrea considered the word, but eventually she took it to mean "'you're welcome'."

Tanner stood and approached the elderly supervisors who chatted a few feet away by the door. Andrea cupped the heart and brought it close with both hands.

She exhaled again. "Thank you."

One of the elder men who passed by saw the paper and gasped. Their gazes locked, Andrea swallowed hard and squeezed the heart in the palm of her hands.

Rather than cast the blame on Tanner, who had offered her such a nice gesture, she struggled to say something and eventually managed to squeak out, "I...I found...it, so I was planning on recycling it. Could I go throw it away?"

"Found?" The furrowed brow made it all too clear how unconvincing those words were. "That's coming out of your wages."

After the man marched away, Andrea sighed and opened her fist. If she had to pay for it anyway, she wished she hadn't crushed it. And just like that, the good mood was gone.

***

Kobal was back the next morning, hanging over Tanner's shoulder to see what he was doing. One look at Andrea's face made the E frown.

"Mistress Andrea, you're usually so bright and bubbly. Has Tanner offended you in some way? Because if he has, I'll—"

"No." Andrea managed a slight smile. "He's been real sweet."

"I knew you two would get along well."

Andrea blushed, careful to focus on Tanner, but the man hadn't paid them any attention.

"I specifically requested that you two work together. He doesn't want to be here in the office, but you are the funniest person in the Colony. I figured if anyone could make working here fun, it'd be you."

And then Andrea fell in love with Kobal all over again. Her heart melted and then swelled up so full she thought it would pop. When Kobal smiled that brilliant and perfect smile, Andrea was reduced to a drooling mess.

"You don't mean that."

"Honest. The funniest one around. You are made of wit."

Wit? The warm, fuzzy feeling faded, and Andrea said, "Yes, a survival trait for the plumper outcasts."

Kobal considered it, his hand rested on the back of Tanner's chair. When Tanner, frustrated with what he was doing, boxed Kobal's hand off, the red-headed E simply stood there without support.

"Could be. But that would only mean you're lucky because you get to reside in both worlds. You've slimmed down and you've got wit. Though to be honest, if you are referring to appearances, I do think you carry your usual weight well. I was surprised when I found out your true weight."

Andrea's cheeks warmed as she floundered. "M-my true weight?"

"Yes. Your mother asked if one of us could give you some fitness training, before we arrived for work, you see. But there was no time. Queen and Tan were really causing a lot of trouble, so—"

Nudged by the other E, Kobal tore his attention away from Andrea.

"Please excuse me."

Tanner pointed, and Kobal smiled as he leaned over the man's shoulder and typed on the interface to correct the errors.

"There." He waited but spoke in a language Andrea couldn't place. Andrea wondered if it was German.

Tanner responded by banging on the interface, causing it to fade as he sat back. Kobal patted his shoulder. "Fine. Finished."

Tanner grunted as he waved him away. He stood and walked out.

Andrea had to comment. "Is that German you're speaking?"

"A dialect of it, yes." Kobal smiled. "You're of Swedish descent, right?"

"Swiss," Andrea corrected. But she was pleased to see that Kobal remembered, albeit incorrectly. "But I quit the school for that cultural learning stuff pretty young. I can only pick up bits and pieces whenever Tanner speaks."

"Tanner?" Kobal looked at the path Tanner had taken and smiled. "He's going by Tanner now, huh?"

Andrea hesitated. "His name's not Tanner?"

"Everybody calls him Tan, so I'm not sure why he's going by Tanner. He might as well just stick with Tan. That's all." Kobal whispered, "I noticed that you're coming-of-age party has been cancelled."

This was news to Andrea. She almost stood, but she remembered the results of her evaluation, and her spirits sank.

"Yeah. Apparently I'm no prize."

Kobal smiled as he teased, "I told you, you're as funny as they come. So it's just the evaluation that's gotten you down?" He sighed in relief. "For a minute there, I thought you were going through some sort of trouble and that's why you cancelled it. Stop worrying about those evaluations. The idea that you are given a grade based on your breedability and assets is a bit absurd."

"Easy for you to say; you're perfect. You're beautiful." Andrea's eyes widened, shocked at having spoken aloud, and Kobal's face turned so red that it almost blended with his hair.

As was his way, Kobal bowed. "Thank you for saying that. But you want to know a secret?"

Andrea turned in her chair to face him as Kobal sat at Tanner's place.

"You're not doubling as a man of the night, are you? Because if so, I'd like to offer you money in exchange for a dance."

Kobal chuckled. "No. I just want to tell you something about those evaluations. You know Rene, don't you?"

Andrea stopped herself from shuddering. Rene's unappealing appearance was the stuff of legends. As a child, sometimes when Andrea had refused to do anything, be it eat her vegetables or go to sleep, her mother had often threatened that if she didn't do it, a fairy would make her look like "that poor child Rene." Even worse was how people treated the woman. The fact that others could be so awful to another human being had sometimes left Andrea feeling nauseous for days.

Andrea managed to nod. "Yeah?"

Kobal's blush deepened, his cheeks becoming crimson. "I'm going to propose to her. Not a second goes by that I don't miss having her near me. That dumb evaluation even gave her an Unfortunately-Unacceptable grade. She came to me crying, and we just spent the entire day in bed kissing."

This was news. In all the years Andrea had known Kobal, the only constant was that the E was single and not looking. If Kobal was looking for an Assist, that changed everything. All this time, Andrea hadn't considered Kobal as being attainable—nobody had, because the E was famous for his easygoing nature and asexual status.

Kobal wasn't known for talking about his private life. He didn't appear accustomed to it because his voice became softer, almost a whisper.

"She's brilliant. Have you ever seen her work? Seen her make any of the things she does? She takes garbage and turns it into art. She said that guy told her that wasn't a talent; it was just a strange hobby. But that's why I fell for her. Even though she's not an E, she was able to defy everyone and take an idea from her head and make it into a reality. That's powerful. So you see, all that stuff about nobody wanting her, that was just nonsense. Because at this very moment, if she asked me to lay down my life for her, I wouldn't hesitate for even a minute."

The E still wore a proud smile, but Andrea frowned. Kobal had been attainable, and he had been snagged by Rene. Rene. Rene had a talent—one that had landed her a gorgeous E. Andrea didn't even have that much under her belt.

Second after second, the E's smile faded until Kobal said, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and there's someone for everyone. You just have to find someone who wants you for you. It'll happen when you least expect it."

Andrea fought back the urge to cry and nodded in Kobal's direction. "Thanks."

Kobal stood, a bit shaky, and bowed. "I'm sorry for interrupting you. I must check on Queen."

"All right."

Tanner didn't come back at all that day. Though Andrea knew it was irrational to think it, she made a point of hiding from Queen as well, reasoning that bad things came in threes. With the prospect of her wages being docked and then the bomb that Kobal had just dropped on her, she didn't need Queen—a man with a fast mouth and a sharp tongue—to make her feel like shit as well.

And she did feel like shit. She wasn't very productive during the day. An E. Now more than ever, I need to hire one. The cheapest route would be to gain an E's devotion, but she had never discovered how one went about doing that. Andrea wasn't looking for cheap, but with Marian in power, her funds were limited. She had to be smart about how she used what money she had saved up.

An E. If Kobal was currently involved, that would complicate things. Rarely would an Assist allow his or her E to freely touch others, for fear that an injury might affect them both. She looked at Tanner's desk and wondered where the dud E had gone and what he was doing. The drumsticks lay there, so that meant the E wasn't playing somewhere. What do E's do for fun, anyhow?

Andrea's eyes stayed fixed on the sticks for some time. She needed to act fast if she intended to fight. Marian had sapped her boldness but not her desire to attain what was rightfully hers. She just needed to choose another weapon.

***

Andrea had meant to go to her room. Instead she stood staring at an unfamiliar door. She wasn't bold in any sense of the word; the few times she'd tried to be always ended with a big letdown. And yet here she was.

She read the name at the top over and over again. "Tannenbaum." The sound of it made her let out a soft laugh, and she thought of just how appropriate that name might have been. "Christmas tree. I'm trying to get a wish from an E named 'Christmas tree.'" Assuming Tanner had even an iota of power. It wasn't like she had many prospects right now. She'd tried to get the business, she'd tried to get a suitor, and now she was just trying to get a wish since everything else had failed.

After taking a deep breath, she cast her eyes downward to her right hand which hung at her side, clutching Tanner's forgotten drumsticks. The E's each got a small room—a storage closet of sorts—for a sleeping area. She wondered if Tanner had decorated it.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Gulliver approaching with a small smile. The man had no doubt just finished his shift in the kitchen. He would have continued to advance, but Andrea shook her head and gave him an uninviting look. Andrea waited, studying Gulliver's features from a distance. His short brown hair was as neat as always, and it caught the artificial moonlight that shone from the courtyard.

Gulliver wore a look of worry and would have approached again, but Andrea clenched her left fist and took on a challenging stance. With that the man was convinced enough to turn back. She watched Gulliver go, every second hating herself for causing it. In time she cast another glance at Tanner's door and followed Gulliver.

She knew where to find him. The kitchen area was moderately sized. Not many people stayed in it long, other than during the designated eating times, when it was busy. Gulliver had taken refuge in a dark corner in the back. The untrained eye might not have seen him there, but Andrea knew better. When she approached and found that a chair had been set out for her, she sat down, hating herself even more for coming.

This was a habit Andrea wanted to break. Seeking comfort with servants was bad enough, but this type of solace was one that shamed her. It was made all the worse because out of all the servants Andrea had sought out for affection, Gulliver was the only one Andrea had never had a request from.

She'd thought to offer something more, but then she realized that if this one turned away from her, too, after the lights went on, then she'd truly have no one. She'd be alone in that big house with her thoughts and flaws. Grandfather was gone, dead. He was never coming back. There was no one left to talk to.

Gulliver gestured to his mouth, and Andrea shook her head, refusing the offer for something to eat.

"I can't," Andrea explained. "Mother'll have my head. Besides, I'm not hungry."

She took the diskette that Gulliver offered her in a shy fashion. She could still smell the remnants of that evening's dinner on the man's clothes. It was rare that she looked Gulliver in the face for long. This time she forced herself to because she wanted to see the man's reaction. After she typed in the Below-Average grade and handed it back, Gulliver flinched.

The diskette came back to Andrea, and she read the quote and smiled. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Andrea chuckled at the sheer corniness of it. "Yeah. I've heard."

Gulliver flicked her nose to draw her attention and indicated himself, and Andrea understood and mimicked the action.

"Posture, right." When Gulliver nodded to the diskette again, Andrea scrolled down. "Demand respect." Hearing her own voice say those words made her feel sick. "Yeah, maybe." She sighed and glanced to the man before her, who gave her a look she knew well. "No. Mother didn't...she just said she expected more from me. That's all."

Gulliver mimicked Marian's scowl almost perfectly.

Andrea laughed out. "Exactly."

They traded the diskette back and forth for a while longer, but the last time it came back to Andrea, she just looked at it. Her eyes stayed fixed on it for so long that she felt them water. She wasn't upset about anything in particular, but for a brief moment she felt sorry for herself.

"You know. I haven't always been kind to you, and you've put up with me. Sometimes...." She sighed as she sat up. "Sometimes I feel like if it weren't for you and Grandfather, I'd just give up." She didn't look at Gulliver long enough to see the man's reaction; instead she lowered her gaze to the diskette and then typed on it. "But that doesn't matter anymore. I got lucky. Two E's are here. And I've checked with the System; they're unmated, so it's not like I have to go find their spouses to deal with, you know?"

When she finally found the information she wanted, she watched it, a smile forming. "One's kinda hostile. But the other one, the other one...he's...he's sweet. He's...he was nice to me. And...and he doesn't seem to have any power. But he's still classified as an E, so I'm sure just getting a wish to have good fortune from him will be enough." She couldn't read Gulliver's expression well, but she saw the disapproval. "Don't treat me like I don't have a chance. I've saved up. I've saved up a lot more than he makes. And it's hidden. And...and I can ask him. I know us taking wishes from them damages them, but you've seen him. That one Tannenbaum, he's...he's already damaged, so maybe he won't mind just one more." The fact that Gulliver cast his gaze downward made Andrea frown. "I don't need to be ignored by you, too."

Sometimes it was frustrating talking to herself but Andrea was used to it for the most part. Times like these, when Gulliver seemed intent on saying something but he couldn't, were the hardest.

"Hey." Andrea thought about it and relented. "M-maybe...maybe I can pay a little extra and you get a wish, too. You know. Maybe get your tongue back. That'd—"

Gulliver's eyes met hers, and the sheer hurt in them stole Andrea's power of speech. Andrea didn't have anything to say. Before she could tap the sequence needed to turn the diskette off, Gulliver caught her hand and interlocked their fingers.

The intimacy of the gesture made Andrea's stomach turn. She wasn't sure when she'd come to see the man as nothing more than a security blanket. It pained her all the more because, try as she might, she couldn't see Gulliver as more. Lately she had started to dread being alone with him. As one who had been rejected countless times, whether directly or otherwise, Andrea didn't have it in her to turn anyone away, even from her bed. If Gulliver did ask, though, she wasn't sure what she could do or say. So when the man sensed her discomfort and let her go, she was grateful on many levels.

As was his way, Gulliver pepped up and smiled. Andrea understood it to mean, "So what will you wish for?" She hesitated before handing the diskette over.

"I know Grandfather wanted me to run the business. I do, too, but when Mother says over her dead body, she means it. She's never made an empty threat. So maybe I can get my dream and the business, too. Just so long as I can prove that I'll provide for this household, I'll have a shot at keeping it. But it's not only that, th-this is my dream. This is what I dream about. Take a look. This is what I want." Gulliver studied the image on the screen and then looked at her.

Andrea laughed with a shake of her head. "No. No. I don't want the guy. I wanna be like him, you know. That's what I wanna wish for. Look." She took the diskette back and handed it over again in the same breath. "That's Harris. He's only a year or two older than me. The guy doesn't even know his own parents. His mom gave him up right after he was born, didn't even wait a day. Just like that, just gave Harris away to a gym."

When Gulliver raised his eyebrow and shrugged, Andrea hazarded, "What gym?"

At the nod in response, Andrea reached over and touched the bottom of the diskette, making the words scroll.

"There." Gulliver's frown made her curious. "What?"

Gulliver flicked his ear upward with his index fingers.

Andrea gasped.

"Serious? That guy deals with imps?" The next shrug made her sigh. "Well, then, I want to be like Harris even more now. Look. He's the youngest fighter to ever test into the ELETEs. Just nineteen when he got in. Can you believe that? And get this, he grew up dirt poor, but despite that he fought his way up. They used to say he had an E, an E who wanted him, but he turned her down. I figured it was because the gym owner who raised him is a traditionalist, you know, just Yule and Yule pairing, but this year he registered as an Assist. But he's still unwed, so that means he's not with his E. Can you believe that? He's got an E waiting for him."

She took the diskette back and turned it around to scroll through it.

"I wonder what he's gonna wish for. Like, a mom that loves him or something. You know, one that can be proud of him. I bet the one to give him up is sorry she did. Look; look at this." Andrea turned the data around for display. "That was when he was just nineteen. It's unreal." Andrea paused and then calmed. "Everyone says his E was what gave him his power, but even though he says it's not true, I don't care. I wanna be like him, strong like him. So I wanna wish to be powerful like that, you know? Powerful enough to get what I want. And I won't even wish for any kind of love or whatever, 'cause I know that won't last, but...to be strong. That's what I want."

Andrea felt warm all over, but it was mostly due to speaking her mind so openly with someone. That was how it had started when she was younger. A confession to Gulliver here and there, because Andrea knew Gulliver was the one person who couldn't say anything bad about her. Couldn't say anything, period.

Some of the staff understood the sign language the man used, but Gulliver wasn't very good at it. Andrea guessed it was because he hadn't always been a mute and had learned it later in life. Whatever the reason, he was mute now, and he could keep any secret. Andrea was sure that Gulliver would have kept them regardless of being unable to talk. That was also another reason Andrea wanted to avoid these encounters. They were one-sided, even if she hadn't intended for them to be, and the guilt was consuming her.

Gulliver wasn't giving her that smile of encouragement that he often had. He just looked concerned.

"You think I can't do it? That I can't be ELETE?" Even when Gulliver shook his head, Andrea still felt defeated. "Well, maybe I can't fight, but with magic, I know I can." The servant raised an eyebrow to her, and she hurried to amend her statement. "I know it's not magic, but you know what I mean. And that's not cheating, if that's what you're thinking. It's not cheating because I'm gonna pay. Tanner doesn't get much money now, and...and like I said, he's been nice to me. And if he offers, then I can pay him."

She pulled the diskette close.

"You know why I really wanna be ELETE? The division was originally nicknamed 'DELETE' since it had poor performance. They were just a crew of losers all piled together 'cause their own crew thought they were useless. But they took the hard jobs, and look how far they've come. And now they've boomed, becoming the biggest and best group of all the guards. So instead of DELETE, they just drop the D and kept the rest. And that's...that's great. I really like the sound of that. And I know I can do it, if I wanted to. I can be ELETE if I want."

"Sure you can."

Andrea sat back with a start and blinked at the man leaning against the wall by the door, watching them.

"But aren't you elite right now?"

"What?" Andrea returned the gaze. "No, ELETE's a division in the Colony's defenses."

"You mean the guards?"

Andrea narrowed her brow. "You really don't know anything, do you?"

"Huh?"

"It's just some random stuff left over from the wipeout, the E wars." Andrea said. "You know, back when we used to stay connected to the outside, like Europe and the Americas and such." She wondered about Ian's blank expression and offered, "Back when the Colony was still collecting E's from all over?" The silence made her uncomfortable. "Where are you from again?"

"Um." Ian cleared his throat and nodded to Gulliver. "What's with your friend?"

Andrea hated seeing Gulliver put on the spot, so she stood in hopes of drawing the man's attention. "Gulliver's shy."

Ian still stared. "Shy?"

The door opening drew their focus, and Ian's older colleague rushed in. "There you are. I found a buyer for that memory if you're still offering...." The older man slowed in his speech when he caught sight of Andrea. After tightening his lips, he took Ian by the arm and turned him around, all the while muttering, "I told you to stay away from her."

"Who? You said the girl was fat and—"

They hurried out without looking back, but Andrea could hear the man's whisper. "No. That's Andrea. The last thing you need is getting a reputation for diddling the likes of her."

"She can't be all that bad."

"Even her own mother doesn't like her. Just keep walking."

Andrea's body went numb. She stayed frozen, waiting for the door to close so their voices would no longer reach her.

"What's up with the quiet one? It was weird," Ian said.

"I told you. Weird shit goes on in this house. That's what happens to those who can't keep their mouths shut. For your own good, just gaw-ro listen—"

The rest was cut off with a snapping sound once the door finally slid close, a process that had taken far too long.

With a sigh, Andrea returned her focus to the diskette in her hand and typed on it to delete the file on Harris. She didn't look back at Gulliver as she made her way across the room to the pantry. After getting a thin silver bag of cookies, she walked out the door, determined to head to her room. It was better not to ask Tanner anything; at least this way she could still dream of something. Tanner was a dud E, anyway; it would probably be better to keep saving up.

Things like that often happened when Andrea was around Gulliver; the staff got a kick out of making Andrea feel small. If she didn't fear that Gulliver would get the wrong idea, she would have offered going to her own bedroom or finding a dark closet somewhere to talk. As it stood the semi-public kitchen was all they had left. She shouldn't have cared. The man had never tried anything. However, these meetings were a bad idea.

Something has to change. This has to be the first step. I don't want anyone's pity; I just want hope. Another thought occurred to her, and she promised herself, No more Gulliver, and no Tannenbaum. No more settling. I can't keep doing the same old things and expect new results.