Fissures 7
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"Ow! Woman."

"Oh, my goodness! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." But in my panic, I found clarity and paused. "Wait, why are you here? Weren't you with Lana?"

Mason's face reddened. "Oh. Well, well yes. But she decided to spend the night at Beatrice's."

Disappointed, I nodded. I'd hoped to give her a few more short lessons before departing from the estate.

"I see." He opened his mouth to say something but I'd already began asking, "Have you had lunch?"

I didn't feel comfortable in small spaces with him, so I hurried out into the hall and down the stairs. "I shall make you something very quickly.

After I entered the kitchen and hurried to find all I needed, I turned and a scream tore out of me upon seeing him there.

"My poor heart. What are you trying to do?"

But for a good moment, he said nothing. Perhaps I had startled him, therefore, I no longer rushed at getting his food ready.

"About your gift..." he began.

I slowed in what I was doing. In fact, I gripped the table. I'd thought and thought of what to get him. I'd even searched for a handkerchief but there simply weren't any with foxes. I hadn't a choice but to make one myself. He must have thought it was too cheap.

"Here." He dropped something on the table to which I gasped.

"Not on the table!" I picked up the black skates with two fingers, appalled. Till now, I'd only ever heard of skates tied onto boots. These were actually built into their own shoe. I dared not imagine the price. "And what is this?"

His voice quivered when he said, "Well...." After clearing his throat, he began again, "Well, you can come skating with us now."

The words made me lower the gift. Yes. As the fifth wheel no one needed.

"No, thank you," I said, turning to keep to my task.

He grabbed hold when I handed it back to him and finished with the sandwich.

"Well, the lake won't be frozen forever," he insisted.

"Yes. I'm aware of that."

"Besides, besides, besides, besides...."

That was one too many besides so I paused and gave him my attention.

He didn't seem to have more to say. Finally, he blurted out, "Don't you want to have another talent to boast about? What if you end up with a family who loves nothing more than to ice skate and you cannot teach their child?"

I scoffed at first but as I cut his sandwich and pushed the plate before him, my mind got to work.

Honestly, I'd never even been on ice before. Till now, I hadn't considered it.

He didn't touch my sandwich so I met his gaze and said, "Very well. I shall take your gift."

With a stern march, I snatched my new present up and stomped to the back door. My intention was to try it for myself until I developed a feel for ice skating. Surely, it wasn't all that hard. Plenty of people did it.

"Wait, now?" Mason snatched up his sandwich and chased me. "Don't you want to wait until after lunch?"

"No." I retrieved my coat, hat and scarf and opened the door. "I do not like to wait."

"But—" he doubled back and got his things. "But you can't do it alone."

"Of course, I can." The snow was knee deep but I carried on. Once I reached the lake, I slipped off my fur boots and put on the skates.

The last of my sandwich faded into Mason's mouth as he reached me.

"But I can help you."

"No need." I tied my laces and tried to steady myself. This was my first time on a frozen lake. To be certain it was safe, I brushed the snow aside and found that it was in fact solid. The journey from the shore onto the water was a slow one, mostly for my fear.

I stepped down on the ice and slipped. My backside confirmed without a shadow of a doubt the water was solid.

"Careful." Mason clambered onto the ice and zipped by me. After he circled back, he held out his hands. "Here. I'll help you."

Now, my hesitation in taking his help wasn't pure arrogance. Yes. Arrogance was involved, but it was something else. I did not want his pity.

In this instance, with him trying to include me rather than give me money and toss me aside, I could admire his gentleness.

But I was used to doing hard things alone, so I tried to stand up. My knees buckled so that while I was technically on my feet, I couldn't advance or otherwise.

Five minutes and ten strikes of my rear end against the ice, I admitted defeat.

I could hardly protest when he went behind me and hoisted me up.

"Come on. You are so stubborn. Just hold out your arms and let me lead you."

He took me further from the shore and panic set in. "Wait, I don't want to go too far in."

His hands slipped from me and he skated out into the lake then back again, hands behind his back.

I watched, terribly impressed by the sight of him. In this, his grace was hard to deny.

When he came to an abrupt stop before me, he asked, "Why is it you never let anyone help you?"

That wasn't true and I meant to argue as much but the words to come out of my mouth weren't ones I planned confessing.

"I do not need to be disappointed if I don't wait for something I won't get."

"Does that include the theater?" he asked.

My face warmed. I wanted to leave. But as I glanced back, there was simply no way of moving. I didn't know how.

I settled on his face yet again and saw the trick. "You did this on purpose, brought me out here so I couldn't go back."

Surprise flashed in his gaze but I wasn't falling for it.

"That's actually not a bad idea but—"

"You cad. You let me go. Take me back now."

"Wait. Why do you always do this? You jump to a conclusion before I've given my part."

But I didn't feel calm enough to hear him out. In fact, I felt lightheaded. My breaths faded, I hunched over.

"Governess?" he called. "Governess, are you all right?"

"I," gasping, I confessed, "I can't breathe. I can't breathe."

"What? But why?"

Body folding over like some sort of broken animal, I flailed my arms in an effort to spin around.

"I can't breathe."

Because I couldn't. The world went black for a moment then came back into focus again.

"Wait."

He forced me to stand up, hands on my face as he took slow breaths.

"Wait. You're in a tantrum. There's nothing to worry about. I will take you back. Open your eyes; can you feel that, feel us going backwards?"

I did. We were in motion. He was taking me back to shore, back on solid land.

Somewhere in the time when we moved, he pulled me to him. I didn't mind so much when we came to a stop again. It was strange at first to have his body pressed against mine but his steady heart thumping against my chest calmed me.

He pulled me closer, his face in my neck. "Calm down," he pleaded.

It took some time for me to do just that. When I opened my eyes to find that although we were close to shore but still on the ice, I asked, "Why have we stopped?"

Mason said nothing for some time. He surprised me by answering, "Because this is the only time you'll stand still for a moment."

I'd been right in my assumption of his trickery.

Then why wasn't I at all angry? I should have been furious.

"I have to explain something to you." He tightened his hold and said, "That night, the night I kissed you. When I'd said—when I'd said to take you out of the dress, I hadn't meant what you thought I meant. I'd...I'd meant to keep you from catching a cold. I swear."

My body warmed but I didn't know why. There was no reason for him to explain himself; I'd understood him just fine.

The suggestion for the dress had woken me, but the kiss was why I'd hit him. It was that and nothing more.

"I understand," I said.

He waited, disappointed that I didn't give him more. "Then.... You know you don't have to leave. You're safe."

I tensed my body, hoping he'd understand that I wanted him to let me go. He tightened his hold instead.

"Just let me explain—"

"I'm a merchant's daughter. My father has passed and he left only two girls in this world. I do not know what it is you think I'm trying to do here, but rest assured, I came with one purpose and I will leave with that purpose fulfilled."

His hold wasn't as tight when he asked, "And what is that purpose?"

I didn't answer. This was not his business.

"The more you hold me here, the more I feel made fun of," I confessed.

The grip loosened almost instantly.

Our eyes met and the hurt there was hard to stomach. I didn't know how to fix it—I didn't know what caused it. But I was already out here and he seemed intent on showing off so I did all I could think to do. I appeased him.

"Will you teach me?"

Mason's scowl faded little by little until he wore a small prideful smile. "Really?"

I nodded.

Despite his boastfulness only moments earlier, he trembled when he held my hands and demonstrated how to move. He was a patient teacher and far more forgiving than I. Whenever I fell, although he'd let me, he offered a hand to help me up.

Each time, I ignored that offer and got to my feet yet again.

Thirty minutes in, I shuffled to him like a newborn foal and he cheered and snatched me close.

"Oh. You've done it."

I had, but it'd be ages before I could really enjoy it.

His hand held my face and he was cold to the touch.

"Are you mad?" I grab his hand and took my own mittens off. "Why don't you have any gloves?"

With my hands bare, I held both of his in mine and huffed on them. I was rubbing them steadily when I made the mistake of meeting his gaze.

The smile was strange. How could someone looks so please yet so unhappy.

"Put your mittens back on," he said, kissing my hand.

He paused, perhaps remembering my prickly temperament. Somehow, he ended up being the one holding my hands close to his mouth instead.

"My sister said to be straightforward with you."

"Oh?"

"I told her my fondness for you stemmed from your cooking."

A smile managed to get through my usual placid expression.

"But it's not that." When our eyes met, he said, "It was the very first day you came here."

His smooth tone rocked me, but when he brushed my hair out of my right eye, revealing my birthmark, I lost interest in the conversation. Instead, I pushed him back and he slid from me.

"I'll come to you instead," I said, "so get ready."

Hands held out for me, he grinned. "Be careful."

I was sure to secure my mittens before charging. I slipped once but regained my balance and shot forward. When I slammed into him, he laughed and picked me up and swung me around.

My scream only made him laugh harder.

It was when he put me down that I noticed the first crack in the ice below us.

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