At six o'clock in the morning we are awakened and our day begins.

First, we pray for so long that our knees ache. I don't know what else to ask my Lord for after the first half hour. It is when I am praying for the ants' sake that we finally get up.

The prayer is followed by a teaching from one of the sisters, about self-control, chastity and continence, the dangers of lust, homosexuality and a short talk about... uh... masturbation... that leaves no one indifferent. They are restatements of the teachings of those catechetical courses I took in my local church, though a little more—or much more actually—crude now. Well, this is what it means to be an adult, after all.

Not every girl who comes here is going to end up being a sister. Many of them wouldn't even be allowed, in fact, since some are not baptized. I'm inclined to think I'm the only one who wants to be a nun. But I'm fine with them being taught how to live a proper life, anyway. And it's not as if people can't rectify their ways and choose to give themselves to the Lord later on.

After the teachings we can finally have breakfast. Pardon my words, but all I can think about is going back to bed. But my body is punished for such a penchant for sloth: our next task is focused on cleaning, the next one is cleaning, and the one after that is cleaning. Not spiritual, this is more... “carnal”.

By which I mean that we clean the floors, the windows, the walls, the curtains, the temple, the benches, the bathrooms, the showers... The life of a nun is much harder than I thought. This is truly a test of faith, I think as I run the toilet brush over the lavatory, enclosed in a cubicle. At least there is privacy. No, my faith is not so weak as to give up because of this, one cannot stop until one looks glistening in the porcelain of the toilet.

Could it be that the presence of so many people raised so much dust or was there more dirt than I saw at first glance? Because the filth certainly increased in the bathrooms.

Noon finds us having one more meal, to be followed by more teaching from the sisters. How much I would like to say that this is my favorite part of our chores, but tiredness barely lets me hear a couple of words or two out, and these always end up being unfortunate with no prior context. It's two o'clock in the afternoon when we are finally "liberated”. That is, we can talk to each other, ask the sisters for advice or pray to our heart's content.

My defeated self and I head for my bed. Forgive me, Heavenly Father, tomorrow, or maybe in two days when I wake up from this, with my strength renewed I will be a more useful servant to You.

In the blink of an eye some time passes, but I can tell I slept because I wake up in the position I always do, face down and all uncovered. I don't know how I manage to end up that way. At least I see a couple of other girls in their beds and even hear the occasional snore. I'm not the only one. The sisters seem to be busy in the other section, tending to other girls with more energy, surely. I envy their fortitude.

But what wakes me up is not a noise, far from it, it's the sunlight streaming through the window. The curtain has been poorly positioned, allowing the rays to get into a corner, straight into my face. It must have been left like that when we took the old one out to clean it and put another one up. I get up to adjust it.

Whether this is the Lord's will or mere chance, with the curtain in my hands, I catch a glimpse of David in the building across, his silhouette unmistakable despite the distance. If I move my hands, maybe he might see—What’s he doing?

David opens the window, looks to the sides and then jumps up and runs stealthily into the woods.

Oh my!... Why do these things to me, little brother? He has black robes like mine.  They don't look bad on him, but more importantly, they contrast with the green background, which is how I realize that he reaches the little path where we entered and then passes to this side of the forest.

If I warn any of the sisters, I'm going to get him in terrible trouble.  I'm going to drag him by the ear instead. The quickest thing to do is to go out through—

“What are you doing?”

With only one foot outside the window in a most uncomfortable position, Raquel spots me. I have no idea how she didn't make any noise.  Still, I see her face but not her gaze.

“...”

“...”

“Raquel, if I were to explain everything to you later, would you promise me to keep your silence?”

“Okay?”

“God bless you, Raquel.”

I'm going to explain everything later, and my brother is going to pay for getting me into this kind of mess. I leave a very confused Raquel behind. Parallel to the building I head into the woods. It's easy to get to the trees without being seen, the hard part now is going to be spotting this dummy.

Soon I am flooded by the dark brown of the wood and the green of the leaves. I acted without thinking. I acted without thinking again. But I have to find David, who knows what can happen to him in such places. I thought that behind me was the exit to the temple and the buildings, but the forest always manages to trick me, twisting, hiding its exit.

And suddenly, footsteps. Thank God. I guide myself through the noise and finally recognize a familiar voice.

“Where was it? I could have sworn it was in these parts,” the voice of the disobedient one.

I don't know what he's up to, but I don't want to find out. And to think that yesterday he was afraid of the place, and now he looks so carefree. Wait, that’s right, there was that voice, that whisper I heard... I don't like this. I have to hurry to...

“Ah…” he begins to walk at a fast pace, going deeper and deeper into the forest. What is this boy thinking about? I thought I'd lived with him long enough to see what was going inside his head. It seems like one year is not enough, it takes a lifetime of living together for something like that.

He's so engrossed in his task that he doesn't notice my footsteps, but my walking is slow, the back and forth with dirty curtains and the incessant to-and-fro of the toilet brush are taking their toll on me.  Some distance is building between us. At this rate I'm going to lose him. At this rate I'm going to get lost.

“Davi—"

Before I can say his name, he stops.

Well, I can see why he wanted to come to this place. This must be what he found when he got separated from me yesterday.

This little place is like an eye in the forest. In an imperfect circle, the trees stand aside to make way for the sunlight, which illuminates a natural pond of the clearest water I've ever seen. It is like finding an oasis in the desert, or is it an island in the sea? I admit that its beauty is moving, but we didn't come here to camp. I’m about to call him out at once when then....

David starts to take off his clothes.

“¡...!”

He lifts his tunic as if taking off a T-shirt, awkwardly, he struggles to get it off his head.

His clothes finally leave his body, leaving it exposed. Only his underwear defends him from the elements... and from my gaze. I swallow my own saliva with difficulty. My pulse is so strong I feel it in my ears.

No... no I have to get out of here.

His figure is slender, it has been for as long as I've known him. He looks to the sides like a scared little animal, he doesn't want anyone to see him, he knows what he's doing is wrong.

He knows what he's doing is wrong....

He's as red as a tomato. He looks very tender, but even so, he is about to remove those last cloths that cover him.

I... I have to get out of here, let David sort out his own problems.

Why leave? The voice interrupts the silence of this forest.

“Who's there?!” My voice barely comes out. In this infinite place it reaches no one's ears.

For every beat of my heart, I caught the shadow of the blood vessels in my eyes and the contours of my sight darken, a piercing tunnel vision reveals itself to the sound of my heartbeat. This time I really hear it, it’s not an illusion, it’s not an echo.  Loud and clear. And merciless. This is more than a whisper.

He's your brother, and you're the oldest, even if it's for such a short time. Isn't it your responsibility to help him, to see that he doesn't get into trouble, to defend him from danger?

Whose voice is this? Holy Father, please help...

Help? Why depend on others and delegate your own responsibilities?

I know this voice. Oh, Father, please.

Take care of him, watch him closely, he's your family.

My head! Oh God, my head!

Take a good look... take a good look at him, make sure everything is all right.

David takes off his last item of clothing. He takes it off. I can see... I can see...

Can you see that he is okay? Are you sure? Why not go and ask him? He looked so sad the other day... until you touched him. Maybe that's what he needs.

I know this voice. I know it well.

I'm starting to be aware of the heat, like I've never been aware of it before. Not the heat outside, the heat inside my body. It is unbearable. It stings my ears, it stings my fingertips, my lips... it stings other parts of my body.

David enters the small natural pool, the liquid barely reaching below his hips. His rosy face is cheerful now, much more cheerful than the last time I saw him yesterday. Much more cheerful than lately.

I shouldn't be watching, peeping. I shouldn't, but...

But? She laughs. She mocks me.

He cups some of the water in his hands and wets his head. The water slides smoothly down his chest, down his belly and down his....

This heat is going to kill me, it's going to kill me.

The water looks refreshing.

The water looks refreshing. No, those words...

He runs his hands delicately across his abdomen, his narrowed eyes gaze into nothingness, his mind is elsewhere. His lips seem to want to utter words that will never come out, remaining in a tender pout.

His hands then move to his thighs and linger there, caressing them, quenching a terrible thirst. And his hands then move from his thighs to his....

It throbs, his body throbs. I see him throb, I see him rise.

His lips no longer pretend to speak, I hear his words, I hear a name. No!

This is wrong, this is so wrong. The body is the sacred temple of the Lord, where...

Where is this place, so far away from everything, where the trees hold back the wind, where neither the lights nor the noise of the city can reach? The only sound is the sweet music of a boy in frenzy. Such a breath, such soft moans...

I know that voice.

A melody whose lyrics are the name of a girl.

Your name, Sharon.

That voice is mine.