The pharmacist gives me a little stool. I just realized that she pulled down the blinds, from inside no one can see what's outside, the opposite is also true. Well, I'm at the point where I can talk without babbling now.

“No one's hurting you, are they?”

“No!”

I raise my voice without realizing it. I'm about to apologize. The girl doesn't look surprised or offended. In fact, she looks relieved.

“To tell you the truth, I feel that I have hurt,” I elaborate.

“Forgive me for asking so bluntly, but did you both want to?”

You can't hide anything from this woman. She reminds me a bit of the headmistress in that respect, although her face is much, much more serene. I nod.

“Was it a girl?”

My face contorts in strangeness. Before I can say anything, she adds.

“I know, does it seem weird to you? It's okay. I kissed a girl once. She thought she was going to get pregnant, she even cried, poor thing. Not knowing is not a sin. Give me a moment.” With that she leaves to look for something.

What surprises me is that she's so forthright in admitting something like that. Although I should have guessed from the little flag on the door. But after everything I've done, I don't know what to think anymore. Especially because, for some reason, an image of Raquel flashes through my mind, if only for a second.

When she comes back, she brings with her a little tablet with just a single pill. She asks about my allergies and if I am taking any medication, and when I answer no, she hands it to me.

I ask for the price. At her answer, I want to cry again. It is impossible to pay.

“Don't worry,” she says and puts a hand on my shoulder.

“I… God bless you…” is all I can say. Conjuring God for something like this seems like a mockery of Him, but I swear that's not my intention.

“Do you know how it works?”

The most I knew is that it existed, nothing more. When I answer she gives me a little lecture about its use, its effectiveness and its possible side effects. The latter are the ones that scare me.

“If you ever feel unwell, come and see my mother. This town may be very small, but it has a pharmacist and a doctor, even though she is already retired.”

I finally take the pill with a glass of water she gives me. The pharmacist assures me that it has nothing to do with abortion or anything of the sort, only with... well, honestly, I've already forgotten, but it's nothing bad, is it? I need to learn about these things. Not knowing isn't a sin, but knowing isn't a bad thing either.

“So, I can't always depend on these pills. Not that I'm going to do this again, of course, this was a one-time thing, it's never going to happen ever again.”

“Take these. They're condoms.”

“But...”

“Take them in case it happens, you never know. Better to be prepared, right?”

Nothing will ever happen again, but I accept. This I can afford, I insist.

She tells me some embarrassing things about how to use them, and even that I can cut them off and use them to be with another girl as a latex barrier. But it doesn't make sense, I would never sleep with a woman, besides, would we two women get pregnant if we didn't use it? Ridiculous... isn't it?

Well, let's take the opportunity to ask.

“Uh… two girls can't get pregnant if they do it, right? Not that I'm interested in doing it, of course. It's just to know. Knowing is not a bad thing.”

“I was telling you more so you'd watch out for STDs than for pregnancy.” Although amused, she's not making fun of me.

“Oh, of course!”

“Do you know what STDs are?”

“No.”

“...”

“I'm sorry.”

“No! It's not your fault, don't worry. The problem is that schools don't teach much about these things.”

Uh... sorry again, but this time to my teachers.

I wish I had at least brought a little notebook to write in. This STD stuff is pretty disturbing. Yeah, all the more reason not to do something like this ever again...

After her quick explanation I give her my thanks. She points out the condoms again, they are like little envelopes, she doesn't give them to me in a box because I would have nowhere to hide them. I put them in my bra.

“Don't leave them lying around, Sharon will kill you.”

I freeze for a second.

“Sharon?”

“Yes, the name of the head of the pseudo-convent... uh, no offense. Although I think she has a different name now, I don't know how that works” I see her a bit dejected when she says this last thing.

I think I learned a lot of important things today.

At my silence, she adds,

“Don't you like the name Sharon?”

“It's the best name in the world.”

 

***

 

Outside is still the messy-haired boy. The girl from the pharmacy offers to distract him, which I take the opportunity to slip away again, something else to thank this lass for. In the woods I find my tunic, just as I left it. But it is when I emerge from the trees on the other side of the world, before entering through the window that I catch a glimpse of a sister coming out of the temple. Seeing her means she sees me too. It's the headmistress, Sharon. I feel like a train is going to run me over.

“May I know what you're doing out here?”

I don't mean to be offensive, but this tone makes me sick. She could learn one thing or two from the pharmacist.

“I saw a boy with wild hair walk off towards the path”—I'm really getting good at this lying thing— “My first impulse was to follow him, but on second thought, the wisest course of action was to warn one of the sisters.”

I can see her eyebrows raise and her eyes get big.

“That's who I'm looking for. Go inside at once,”

Really, that tone makes me sick....

“It's dangerous for a girl to walk alone in the woods.”

Oh, well, if she puts it to me like that.

She just goes on her way, chasing the naughty boy, she doesn't even wait to see me go into my building. She seems well focused on her work. Well, hopefully that boy earns the reprimand of a lifetime after all he put me through.

Well, it's not like it's his fault. He didn't even know I was there. I was the one who saw him, not the other way around. Yeah, and I saw him...

The headmistress is already walking away.

Well, it's not my problem, I can't carry other people's problems on my back, especially people I don't even know.

The headmistress is almost entering the path, that passageway.

And it's not as if the boy is alone now, he's being kept company by the pharmacist.

Sharon, the nun... she's about to set foot in the sea of trees.

...

“He was crying,” My voice scares a couple of birds out of the trees.

Her figure stops dead in its tracks and turns its quizzical gaze to me.

“That boy, he was crying so bitterly”.

For the first time I see an expression on the lady's face that doesn't look cold. As to what that face is, maybe it's sadness, maybe it's compassion, maybe both, if I were closer, I could tell.

I let her go on her way, I enter the bedroom. I hear very pretty voices coming from the dining room. God, I screamed without thinking. If they hadn't been singing, I would have attracted half the world's attention.

And speaking of... In my bed I see a lump hiding under the covers.

“What the—"

I pull back the covers, a startled light-haired girl jumps up. I don't know who is more frightened, Raquel or me.

She runs to her bed. There's a lump in it too, but when she uncovers it, there's no person there, just clothes and some pillows. She hurries to arrange everything so as not to leave any suspicions. Ah, I see, today I have a lot to be thankful for. At least to someone I want to express it.

I hug her from behind as I say "thank you" in her ear in a soft voice.

Raquel stiffens for about twenty seconds. Did I squeeze too hard? I weaken my grip. She turns around, and this time not only doesn't look at me, she doesn't even face me, she just looks at the floor. Since she's shorter than me and has a lot of hair, I barely notice, but she's red up to her ears. I see where I have failed, I will be more careful in the future. I can't help but chuckle a little.

Raquel just nods several times and jumps into her bed, pulling the covers over herself despite the heat.

I'm going to do something born of my pure wickedness. I get level with her head and sigh again “Thank you”. I see a couple of sudden movements under the sheets, and finally she uncovers her head, but I'm faced with her nape.

“You're doing this to me on purpose, aren't you?”

“Because I really adore you.”