Wake up, pray, teachings, food, cleaning, food again, more teachings, sanitize, liberation and to my bed. A structured life.

But it is better to keep the mind busy, because when the body is unoccupied, the mind works more and more. Maybe that is the secret of the sisters. Keep the body busy so as not to let the mind wander, maybe I should look for more things to do. But there is a duty I must fulfill that I cannot avoid.

Raquel comes to her bed and sits on it. This is my chance to ask her. I get up and stand in front of her, she looks very small sitting there, and even more so with her head down.

“How do you deal with the thoughts that disturb you?”

Raquel remains stiff for quite a while. Uh, too rough?

“What kind of thoughts?” she asks with a pale face.

“...”

“Oh, so you have those thoughts too,” she blurts out.

“«Too», eh”.

All movement ceases in her, neither her eyes move, nor her chest to breathe. After a rather frightening time, she begins to tremble.

“No, don't cry!”

“I won't cry,” she says, crying.

I grab her shoulders, shake her a little, and her head goes back and forth. I've seen more people cry in this place than anywhere else. And to think at least two have cried because of me. It's getting to be a habit. Although this time the crying goes quickly and turns to laughter from both of us at our nervousness, discomfort and my shaking her.

When the trembling passes, Raquel lies down. Her eyelids quickly become heavy. I assume the conversation is over and head back to my bed, to wait a little longer. With my back to Raquel, I get a new reply.

“How to avoid sinful thoughts?”

I stop in my tracks. For a second, I think a third person has interceded in the conversation. She has an amused tone, nothing like her usual muffled or defensive one. Could it be that tiredness and sleep loosen her tongue?

“Easy. I avoid looking people in the eye.”

All fatigue suddenly leaves me. I turn around. Does that mean—

“Did you see the headmistress's face?” she asks with her eyes closed and yawns.

“Wha— She was furious, wasn't she?” I follow the abrupt turn of the conversation.

“No. That wasn't anger,”

“What was it then?”

“Sadness.”

That's the last thing she says, in a voice followed by a long yawn that rubs off on me. Sleep wins.

But I don't have time to ponder what she has said. To be honest, this is what I was waiting for, and if it didn't happen, I was just going to do it. I stuff my bed with pillows and clothes and escape out the window, run into the woods.

Inside the sea, through my peripheral vision a black figure becomes real. When my gaze seeks to catch it, it vanishes. I don't like this. But there is no time for that.

I know who I'm going to meet where I'm going, in that little natural pond. I'm just going to talk. That's it, I'm just going to talk, make sure everything is okay, nothing else.

And I find who I'm looking for. We think alike, after all.

“At last. At last, I have you near me, Sharon,” he says with a big sigh. His face softens, his features relax. He moves closer to me without looking at anything else.

His arms wrap around me, he presses me gently against his chest. It's good to see him. If we could stay like this forever... it's good to feel him.

It's good to feel him, isn't it?

No, not again. I pull away suddenly.

David's body seems to falter, he looks down, his arms limp.

“Do you hate me now?” He makes that face again, those eyes... no...

“No! Don't talk nonsense, how could I hate you? I could never.”

“I'm glad to hear you say it. After all you did to me…”

“¡...!”

How dare you.

Something's wrong. He has a small smile on his pink face. His tone is soft, almost whispery. That smile, those slightly arched eyebrows hide an evil intention.

“I was really afraid. You left so fast that day, escaped, ran away. You looked so sad. I didn't have the strength to stop you. It was hard for me to even look you in the eye.”

He's as sweet as ever, there's no lie in what he says, but there's a hint of malice behind every word.

He comes closer to me. He grabs me again, this time his arms on my hips.

“Ah...”

“But I'm not going to let you go now,” he says at last.

It's hot, so hot.

“I love holding you, Sharon. I love the feel of your body,” he says in my ear, his words caressing my earlobe, that heat I feel all over my body now. The way he says it, his voice so soft, imitating a moan.

This can't stay like this.

I stand on my tiptoes and....

I gently bite his ear.

He lets out a small voice of surprise. Such a sensual voice. With my hands on his shoulders, I guide him to sit down. I look down at him.

“Did you think I wouldn't notice?” I say with my hand caressing his head.

“Playing the bad boy... I could feel your heart beating when you hugged me. You were afraid, you were really afraid.”

His facade has fallen. But this does not bring him down. Far from it, it seems to excite him even more. My hand goes from his head to his cheek and he takes the opportunity to lick it when I'm careless, without taking his eyes off me. I pretend to hit his face as punishment for his insolence, he follows my game and takes his "wounded" cheek with his hand, he gives me those little eyes... I can see in his face the anticipation, his look invites me. This is his fault.

“You insolent, putting the blame on me.”

I sit on top of him, on his thighs, my knees resting on the sides of his body. I punish his mouth with mine. I punish his cheeks with my tongue. And he tries to fight, to resist with his. It's useless, he can't beat me. He knows it. And that excites him more.

I start to move, up and down, slowly first. Gently first. He moves too.

“Quiet, my pretty boy, you're making me lose my rhythm,” I say in sighing voice.

“I can't... I can't stay still,” he speaks choked in pleasure.

I increase my speed; I can't do anything else. I need to. I need it, to do those movements we did that time. We make love with our robes on.

This forest, so close to the place of prayer, is all just for the two of us. Or so I would like to say, but there is an intruder, a shadowy figure appearing again in my peripheral vision.

An intruder is watching us.

David notices, we abandon our position and he moves into an attack stance. He is so cute. I am calm, although my legs are shaking a little.

That intruder has messy hair.

In his face, far away is the sadness of when I saw him near the pharmacy, far away the mockery of when we saw him for the first time at the church doors. No, on his face there is only the blush.

After a long silence, a single sound comes out of his mouth, immediately interrupted by his own tongue getting in the way. Finally, clearing his throat, he can say

“I saw you escape out the window” looking at David. His tone a sad attempt to sound taunting.

I wink at him as I lick my lips.

This is more than enough to shatter that masquerade. He avoids my gaze. That tells me everything. Time to break that mask completely.

“Why don't you join us?” I speak.

I look at David. First surprise hits his face, but then there is only understanding and anticipation.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” The intruder interrupts our unspoken understanding of siblings. Does he think he has a choice?

“Don't try to act all tough. Your crotch is giving you away right now,” I reply.

He arches quickly, tries to hide. He's like David.

It's useless to try to hide. These robes can't hide the bodies underneath. It is useless to try to escape.

You are mine.

 

***

 

It's very hot in here. The first is David, he slowly takes off his tunic. He does it on purpose. Although I find it hard to look away, I also want to see our friend's face. And I can see in him too, how his eyes are fixed on David's body. Have I had that face too? Have I had those eyes too, like fire? The heat, that's the heat. It is unforgiving, merciless, no matter who you are.

David enters the waters totally bare; he looks at us from behind his shoulder with his seductive smile, his body a spectacle hard to miss.

But it doesn't end here. I approach our companion.

“Shall I help you?”

He doesn't resist. I pull his robe up. I get ready to do the same with his underwear, I can see his excitement through the clothes. It's tempting. Dammit, maybe I've discovered one of my forbidden pleasures, like David has for seeing me face down on my belly.

I put my hands on the elastics of his boxer shorts. Reflexively he puts his hands on mine, we stand looking at each other face to face. I see his naked eyes, free of any pretense. My hands warm his. With one of my fingers, I gently stroke his member.

He can't resist, I see him tremble a little.

“Tell me your name.”

“Ismael…” It's hard for him to answer me.

“Sharon. It's a pleasure to meet you.”

His grip loosens. I pull down his boxers at once. I reveal his excitement at last. I stroke over it one more time with a finger. I see him arch slightly, stifle a small ticklish giggle.

“Come on, into the water.” I order.

He follows my words without objection. But he can't leave without an act of defiance first. He runs his finger over my crotch, from the bottom up, slowly over my robe. He looks me in the eye and moves before I can repay him. It's his revenge. You naughty boy, you're going to pay for this.

He enters the pond. I still watch from the ground as Ismael walks into David's arms. He receives him happily. For now I just watch. It's hard, especially because of the effect that game with David had on me, those moves, and that last brush with Ismael, but a show like this doesn't come along every day. And also, everything is better when there is a bit of desperation in between.

Their bodies are so hot that the temperature of the water can't affect them, they don't feel the cold. Their fire cannot be extinguished.

David caresses Ismael's head, runs his fingers through his messy hair gently, as if combing it. His fingers go through without difficulty, his hair is very clean, just tousled. I must admit, it has its charm.

Ismael simply closes his eyes at these caresses, he can't help himself, he lets his head fall on David's shoulder. It's a very tender gesture, but a very sad one. He is so full of exhaustion. What tribulations has he gone through? I remember his bitterness that time close to the pharmacy. I should have spoken to him, but I was cowardly, stupid. This is my chance to redeem myself, he can forget his sadness for today, for a while. I can make him forget it.

My little stepbrother glances at me, he notices too. We can fix this, give him a good time.

I gesture for them to settle in, I don't want to miss any details. They are my show, no one's sadness is going to stop me from enjoying it. David grabs Ismael so they both face me.

There they are, side by side. Ismael looks at me and smiles, and steals a kiss from David's mouth, without taking his eyes off me. It's a long kiss, so long, so passionate. They do it for so long that I see saliva dripping from their mouths. As soon as they pull apart to get air, they join again. They can't be away for so long.

Fire runs through my body. I feel like a finger is being run over my crotch again, like I'm feeling David's movements. It's... beautiful.

It's so beautiful to see two men like this, caressing each other, kissing each other, desiring each other. I hear their voices, the pleasure in them. I hear sensual moans, it's hard to go on like this, something must be done or the heat is going to end us.

David's hand is guided by Ismael to his crotch with desperation. And they begin. My legs tremble, it's as if I feel it too.

How envious, they have a similar body, they know what to do, what works and what does not. Oh well, I'll just have to practice, practice, and practice with these two to get good at it. What a tragedy.

Ismael is so excited, his pleasure escapes David's kisses and reaches my ears.

Suddenly his gaze goes skyward, his hands no longer guiding David's, but resting on the sides of his body. If they were not there, he would collapse. I see, he can't hold on much longer.

His eyes get lost, his mouth opens wanting to say something, only to close again. Something wants to come out and it can't. Again, a grimace, more lost eyes... and he reaches the point of maximum pleasure. His voice becomes the most tender and sensual in those seconds of ecstasy, his gaze no longer finds the horizon. The water becomes dirty. Each sigh is like a caress to my whole body. How envious I am, but I must be patient. This is the time of the boys.

When Ismael recovers, he wants to return the favor, as it should be.

“Could you sit on the edge?” Ismael says.

David does so and his partner gestures to me. He is inviting me to put myself in a privileged position to watch.

Only David's legs are in the water now, the rest of his body sitting on the miniature shore. Ismael positions himself between the excited boy's legs.

Ismael's breath hitches. He looks at David, at what's in front of him. He licks his lips, swallows so hard I can hear it.

“I've always wanted to try this,” I hear Ismael say. He stutters as he speaks. He hesitates for a moment. His embarrassment is great, he averts his eyes a little to give himself strength and lets his emotion take over.

And he can say no more, his mouth is too busy to speak.

Ah, I'm going to go crazy, but David is the one closest to insanity. Is this what he was imagining yesterday when I blew him that kiss from a distance? There are so many things that can be done, so many possibilities.

But it's not all violent and fast action, it's delicate, there are moments of rest, there are kisses, moments when the hand takes over. They are cycles, and these are marked by Ismael's choices or by David's sighing requests.

As Ismael does it with his mouth, he looks at David with his embarrassed eyes. My little brother responds by stroking his head again. I hear so many dirty sounds. My legs burn, my belly burns, my lips fall asleep, my fingertips sting.

Soon David can't take it anymore, he writhes in pleasure. Ah... that voice, yes. That voice so beautiful, so pretty, so lost in the flames. I was born to hear these voices, to know these pleasures. There is no melody more wonderful.

Ismael finally finishes with his hand. His chest is soiled, an image that takes away the last of my sanity. I can no longer just watch, I struggle to stand.

Ismael washes himself in the river, amused. He does it fast, he knows it is convenient for him.

The boys' moment is over, now they approach me. Now it's my time. At last. They are like two wild animals hunting prey. So innocent. They don't realize that they are the prey. My prey.

This is the reward for my patience, my just retribution.

They lift my robe, it's so much easier when there are two of them doing it. I can't stop them from doing so. They touch me. They are chaotic but gentle at the same time. Their hands are everywhere, there is no place on my body left untraveled.

My robe is lost, they remove it in a flash. They pull down my underwear, a total mess. I remove my bra. They stop for a moment to look. Their eyes are now roaming over me. Soon their hands make the journey their vision previously made over my bare skin. Down my thighs, across my crotch, across my breasts.

They share my mouth as they do so, they fight for it. But there is enough for both of them at the same time, I let them know, I let them feel it.

“I have an idea,”—David says— “Why don't you sit on the edge?”

He looks knowingly at Ismael. I get into position.

Ismael is on the edge too, along the pond. His chest rests on my thigh, his face falls on my crotch. David does his thing and stands between my legs, in the same position Ismael was with him.

I move Ismael's hair away from his face and mouth, they mustn't get in the way.

And they begin.

Oh, Father, who keeps these pleasures out of my reach, behind a thousand veils of shame. I detest You, with my soul I detest You.

They move to my desires, my demands. Those two tongues, those two lips, those two mouths can soothe the heat. Yes, at last. At last, it's my reward.

They kiss, they pause, they lick.

“Faster.”

“Slower.”

“There.”

“Don't stop.”

They moan as they do what they were born to do. I feel them vibrate. They attack me between two. I see dots in the sky, flashes, my vision dims a little, blurs into the outlines.

Soon I am engulfed in flames. Once again, I obtain that pleasure that I wanted so much, that I could not forget. Once one tastes it, there is no turning back.

I am left dumb for a moment, my back drops to the floor. David and Ismael lie next to me, caress me once more, they enjoy my naked body and I theirs. They kiss my chest, my neck, my cheeks and my lips, very, very softly, like a farewell.

I start to fade away.

I see Ismael cry.

“No”—I say as I brush his tears away with my fingers— “, Are you okay?”

David also sits up and strokes the boy’s bare back as well.  Those gentle tickles change his sad grimace to a happier one.

Ismael takes my hand gently. He smiles at us, despite his crying.

“Never in my life have I been as well as I am now. I have never seen things so clearly. I'm just tired. Tired of exorcisms, of hand positions, of humiliating confessions,” he says and rests his head next to my chest and next to David's head.

“Tired of going from church to church looking for the cure,”

...

“I don't want to be cured.”