"So why am I here instead of Mel? I doubt this is for an impromptu tea party." Right now, it's Merry and me in Merida's office. I came here after seeing Merry being hilariously dragged into the room by Mimi, complaining about her demon summoning being interrupted. She has done a ton of demon summonings since we got that skeleton with infinite gold since she can now afford all the materials she ever wanted. The house is currently filled to the brim with demons, from the very bottom of the dungeon Mel is currently busy digging out to the mansion's roof that has a giant… cat-dog demon thing. At least some of them seem knowledgeable in mansion upkeep. They even call me Headmaid, like the shadow clones. The maid team in this household is a bit esoteric, being made of demons and shadow clones, but I like the dark aesthetic.

"You are here because the next Sacred Power holder I want to send Madeleine to is in Lilu."

"Ah, the city of vampires. I do know how to get there, but I could simply provide instructions for Maddy and Mel. No need for me to go."

"I've chosen you specifically because the next Sacred Power holder is a relative of yours. Your Household's sister branch."

"Tch… a Phobos. How dare you tr-"

"There is someone I wish to acquire from the Phobos household."

"What? Why?!"

"How does the sound of a harem centred around you sound, Madeleine?"

"That sounds like a terrible idea waiting to just implode as soon as it is formed. I love it! It sounds so funny. Although, I do want Mel to be the first wife. Actually, who will be in the harem?"

"Pretty much anyone in this house."

"Does that include you?"

"Of course. Do you dislike the idea of me being in your harem?"

"Yeah, sort of. Also, are we including the demons and shadow clones?"

"The demons, maybe. The shadow clones, no. That is idiotic."

"Aww…"

"What does this have to do with acquiring someone from the Phobos household?!"

"Imagine how much power we would have in Bellum if we had the next in line from both of its pivotal Duke households. The heir of the Deimos house and the sole daughter of Duke Phobos. Also, I believe this scheme would be rather entertaining. I do it not because I want the power, but because I can."

"What do you mean heir of the Dei-"

"Don't play dumb, Merry. I am the Seer. You cannot hide anything."

"Tch… fine. How do you even plan to take Mila?"

"The Duke's kidnapped wife is in Lilu. She is also coincidentally the Sacred Power holder. I believe she would be an acceptable trade for Mila. If need be, use the names of those in this mansion."

"Got it."

"Anything for me? What should I do? Wait, do I get to knock out the target?" 

"Feel free to look into the target's eyes when on the carriage ride to the Phobos house. You must also act as the muscle and keep Merry's demon summons as a last resort. One last thing, act like an actual maid for once."

"Rude, I always act like a maid."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I think she acts like a maid when it's teatime, although I will admit that her maid aura is lacking compared to the recent demons and even the shadow clones."

"The shadow clones are mine!" 

"That is what makes it humorous. Now, go to Lilu. Your target should be in a bakery. I am off to watch Mel dig a hole." And so we went off.

So we're here in Lilu. It looks like your average town. The houses are stone-like everywhere else, the paths are stone-like everywhere else, and the residents are flying like somewhere else. Pretty sure there's a town where people opt to fly instead of walk somewhere else in the world. Honestly, I would've thought this was a normal town if it weren't for the weird way you get here.

So basically, Merry got a vial of blood she just happens to have, made a small magic circle with it, chanted something about vampires, then out of nowhere, a carriage driven by a skeleton wearing a nice tophat and a funny moustache. It looked confused to see a beastkin and a maid but then shrugged and let us on. It took us through a fog, then boom, we were in Lilu. 

Anyways, we finally found the bakery, and Merry did say she recognised the shopkeeper. "That is definitely the duke's wife. She went missing a decade ago. Everyone thought she was dead. Uncle was so grieved. That damn Seer… she definitely knew."

"So, are we going to go in?"

"Yes. I don't want to reveal who I am yet, since she won't recognise me. I think the best course of action is to walk in and kidnap her."

"Ooh… kidnapping. I get to be on the kidnapper's side this time. How exciting."

"But first… let's just go in and see what is in store. I am interested in their confectioneries."

"I bet you it all has blood." We walked into the bakery, the smell of… weird-smelling bread filling our noses. It must be the blood in the bread. 

"Maddy, it's rude to assume she puts blood in the bread."

"I do put bread in the blood. What an astute observation with your nose, maid." The shopkeep cheerfully informed us. She doesn't really look like a vampire, but then again, I've never seen a vampire. I do want to taste one, though. "Haha… I'm no vampire. So a beastkin and a…" She sniffed the air, "Whatever the maid is. Quite the rarity here in Lilu. So what brings you here?"

"We're here to kidnap you!"

Merry immediately facepalmed. "Damnit, Maddy."

"Haha… what a joke. Well, the vampires kidnapped me first, so feel free to kidnap me back, Erry."

"You recognise me?!"

"You should've hid Leviathan if you wanted to conceal who you are. So, what is your current name?"

"Merry."

"As imaginative as the rest of the family." She jumped over the counter and then walked over to Merry's side. "Now I'm kidnapped. Let's get out of here." 

"Before we go, can I look into your eyes?"

"Weird request, but you may. I have to listen to the kidnapper's demands, after all." She grinned. She seems oddly happy about this… can we really call this a kidnapping? Eh, whatever. Looking into her eyes!

That explains why she got kidnapped by the vampires.

We're currently at the front gate of the Phobos mansion. Merry is leading the charge with the duke's wife directly behind her, two shadow clones holding onto her arms, with me at the very back. I'm a sneaky maid. Sneaky sneak. There are two guards at the gate. "Halt! Who goes there?!"

"I am Merry Deimos, heir to the Deimos name."

"Pfft… hey boss, we've got another of these Deimos heir impersonators. Look, kid, just because the heir is said to take many forms doesn't mean you can get away with pretending to be them. Ain't that right, boss?"

"You can go right through. I've contacted the man of the house."

"Wait, is she the real deal?!"

"I don't know. Even if she isn't, she's got the duke's wife behind her. We need to let her in."

"Duke's wife?" The sceptic guard looks over and sees the duke's wife, who did a small wave. "Right along the path, my lady. The duke will gladly have you over."

"Good." Towards the mansion, we went. You know, these nobles sure know how to have pretty gardens beyond their gates. Which reminds me, the insane hero has a lovely garden. Was he actually a noble? Are heroes nobles? Huh… I should ask Merida at some point.

We were halfway towards the mansion when a man dressed in gaudy clothing came up to us, panting as if he ran the whole way. "Cherry… is… is that really you?"

"Yes, my dear. It really is me." The man ran straight at the duke's wife and gave her a tight hug. Aww… that must be the duke. How heartwarming. "I cannot thank you enough." He turned towards Merry with a thankful face before it turned into a frown.

"Greetings, uncle Albus."

"Ahh… the Deimos heir. That snake is still tied to you as tight as ever."

"You dare talk about Leviathan."

"I also see you have employed a maid. Intriguing, considering your opinions."

"She is not my maid. Her master is another… Do you even have a master, Maddy?"

"No idea!"

"Hah. A masterless maid. Yet another anomaly you align yourself with, Erry. Or do you go by another name, now?"

"Merry."

"I see. I doubt you did this out of goodwill. You never bothered to acknowledge our existence, so why? Why save my wife and bring her back?"

"We want your daughter."

"Hahaha… and what benefits would giving you my daughter bring me? She is to be wedded as a concubine to a nearby king, so I shall only reward you with a hefty sum of gold unless you can bring me something more."

Merry stood there, still in thought, before a creepy grin appeared. Ooh, convincing time! "You would gain a connection stronger than one to a king."

"A connection stronger than one to a king? Delusional as ever."

"Firstly, the great summoner of Demons, known to have made many kingdoms bow, and also the heir to the Deimos name."

"I have that connection already, no de-"

"I have yet to finish. Secondly, two Hero Party class adventurers and a dragon mount."

"I have the coin to hire such servi-"

"Thirdly, a graduate of the elusive Maid School."

"Intriguing, but not goo-"

"Fourthly, the Garwet Kingdom's very own Bandit King."

"I wouldn't dare use such ille-"

"Lastly, the Seer."

The duke went silent at this proposition, standing still for what seemed like an eternity. Is Merida really that big of a deal? I feel like Mel is a bigger deal… at least in terms of looks.

"The Seer, is she watching us at this moment?"

"This maid is a favourite of hers."

"Seer, I, Albus, head of the Phobos house, pledges loyalty to you and, as a show of this decree, shall lend you my daughter, Mila." The duke kneeled on the ground for a few seconds before standing back up and facing Merry. "You have gotten into the web of quite the schemer, huh. I give you my pity, but my spite still remains. I shall send my daughter soon. I just need to break off all of her prior engagements."

"Good, good. Maddy, ring the bell."

"Alright." And so we went home.

Character profile: Cherry Phobos

Sacred power: Bloodbath

Years spent in Lilu: 8

Description: The wife of the current Phobos head. She is actually the original heir of the Phobos name, with Albus marrying into the family, but Albus was significantly more adept at noble work, and so it was decided he would be the head as opposed to her. Albus and Cherry actually married out of love, due to Cherry's parents dying when she ascended to head, and so she could basically choose the direction of her life. She always hid her Sacred Power, before one day, at a ball, a group of cultists attacked, and she was forced to act, using her Sacred Power to blow away the cultists. There just so happened to be a vampire as part of the cultists, who informed the Vampire Council, who planned her kidnapping after learning she could create blood. 

Chapter namesake: Strange Cakes by Big Black Delta

pojlk

I came up with some cake names for the bakery part of the chapter, but I had no idea how to fit them in, so I'll just put them here: Blood Velvet Cake, Bloodberry Cupcakes, Blood Chocolate Surprise, and Blood Forest. There's also Crow's Blood Pie, but in reality is an entire crow in there, not just the blood.