"Madeleine, Madeleine, take a seat." She threw something at me. Upon catching it, I saw it was a really tiny chair. Like, really tiny. "Like my joke? I just came up with it, allegedly."

"It was an alright joke."

"Well, you're an alright maid." This time, she threw another tiny chair onto the ground, and it instantly grew in size, which she sat down on. "Come on, I don't have all day. Throw that shit down hard, and it'll pop up."

I did as she said and threw the tiny chair hard down on the ground. Instead of growing in size, like she said, it instead shattered into many pieces. "Fuck you, stand like the maid you are." Good thing Maid School taught me endurance. I have strong legs. "I'm sure you do. You kicked poor Ark through a wall."

"He was trying to kill me. I don't really want to die."

"I do."

"Oh… okay."

"But enough about me, let's talk about my big, world-ending plan to destroy anything."

"Are you going to do it like Ark and kill me?"

"What? Fuck no, you have Marigold. No way in hell am I ever killing you. I have a bigger chance of ending up loving Ark than I do killing her."

"I think I could love Ark."

"I doubt that. I incredibly doubt that. For one, you dislike his eyes."

"That is true. Okay, maybe you're right. I can't love Ark."

"We're getting off track. I want to introduce you to my plan and all that shit."

"I prefer this back and forth. I also don't care about your plan."

"Guess what? I don't care about you not caring about my plan, so I'll say it anyway."

"I don't care about you not ca-"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Oh… okay."

"Look, my plan involves me dragging you to random people, revealing their importance, maybe killing them, then moving on to the next fellow."

"That seems like a lacklustre plan. I also don't see how it'll destroy everything."

"I'm winging it, okay. I know a lot of shit, okay, and as it turns out, destroying everything isn't as easy as it seems, even with the ability to manipulate reality."

"You can manipulate reality? No wonder you were shackled in that room. Was it Marigold or Croen?"

"No way in Hell that fucking Reaper wannabe could do that. He'd have better luck winning a spot the difference contest between him and Merida than chaining me like a dog."

"So it was Marigold."

"That little omnipotent ball energy piece of shit, or whatever you call her, could never. She may be omnipotent, but she has no fucking idea what she's doing."

"How'd you end up chained, then? By the way, since I can hear you, can I touch your ears?"

"I was just chained, got it. I'd explain it, but I'd have to talk about existence and other complicated shit like that. You can touch my ears, though. Feel free to."

I got up, walked towards her, and then grabbed hold of her ears. She let out a little yelp, which was just adorable. A shame about the whole destroying everything schtick she has. "Why do you want to destroy everything? Did you have a bad cup of tea?"

"It's because I'm in love with you and I missed you. I couldn't say anything when I was chained."

"Oh… sorry, I can't accept those fee-"

"I already know that. You've constantly talked about your lustful feelings towards that stupid ranger. I will admit, she does have a nice ass."

"A very nice ass."

"I think you and I agree we'd like to touch it."

"Most definitely."

"By the way, what does loving me have to do with wanting to destroy everything?"

"I thought I'd go the yandere route, you know. If I can't have you, nothing can."

"Wouldn't murder be easier than destroying everything?"

"Yeah, but Ark said I'd destroy everything, so I will."

"You don't have to. I don't listen, so why don't you?"

"I have to listen, payoff, or something like that. Then again, I don't care enough."

"So you're not going to destroy everything now?"

"No, I'm still doing that."

"Even if I say don't?"

"Look, I may love you, but I'm also hellbent on destroying the very fabric of our continued existence. I will unravel everything, so we can all turn into ashes or something similar."

"Oh… so what's the plan?"

"Now you're interested in the plan? What happened to not caring?"

"I am inconsistency personified! The only thing consistent about me is that I can be inconsistent!"

"I can't tell which one of us is supposed to be the crazy antagonist."

"Obviously, Ark."

"That one was obvious, but I mean between us. Like, I know I'm the one who'll destroy everything, but you're… you're fucking insane."

"I'm not fucking insane. If I were fucking anything, it'd be a daughter."

"You're never fucking a daughter."

"I'll have you know I'll find myself naked in Mel's bed one day."

"You have a bigger chance of ending up with literally anyone else in that God-forsaken hellhole of a home you live in than Mel."

"What makes you say that?"

"Speedy can be easily coerced, Mimi has been trained, Merry is easily seduced, Mila is already interested, May is a dragon, those demon maids are demons, the shadow clones are clones, and I'm in love with you."

"That last part, you don't even live with us."

"I do indirectly. That Void house is only accessed through your mind, which means I lived in your mind, and by extension, that mansion."

"Makes sense to me."

"It doesn't make fucking sense. It doesn't count."

"Oh."

"Anyways, I can say my plan tomorrow when I'm actually enacting it. Clearly, when we're just talking, we'll go off-track."

"I like the whole off-track thing, though."

"I do too, but it doesn't let me destroy anything."

"Why are you doing that again?"

"Because I love you."

"Sorry, I don't even know your name. I can't accept your love."

"My name is Myka. By the way," she snapped her fingers, making a random elf appear next to her, "Look in this guy's eyes, you have a quota to meet, and no way I'm spoiling myself. I'm far too important."

"Sure, I'll do that." I stopped touching her ears and looked into the elf's eyes, who looked confused and scared, having suddenly appeared here.

"Well, that's a boring power." She snapped her fingers again, making him disappear. "You can go back to touching my ears."

"Sure thing!" I went back to touching her soft, luxurious ears. Maybe I should return the love.

"No, don't. That'll ruin everything."

"Oh, okay."

Character profile: Valour Patras

Sacred power: Buff

Adventurer Rank: B

Description: The buffer of the former adventurer party 'Sacred Vagabonds'. Valour is a former chief of the Patras tribe from nearly 200 years before. He left to become an adventurer after hearing tales from an adventurer group that accidentally came across his village. His sudden departure actually started the Patras' civil war, which he is still unaware of. He is also unaware of the Patras tribe's current situation. His former adventurer party, the Sacred Vagabonds, were a party of Sacred Power holders. Individually their lowest member was Rank B, but together they were Rank S, the highest of adventurer ranks. Former members include the Queen of Combat Alexis and her pupil, Merida the Seer.

Chapter namesake: Miss You by bo en

pojlk

I envisioned something else for this chapter, but somehow, somehow... argh, I can't fucking explain. I'll just blame it on these two characters, even if that isn't the truth... I think.