Currently on the table are five figures. The demon-obsessed summoner with a penchant to bump her knees on the table, the thief now afflicted with one-note catgirl syndrome, the reality-warping failure of fanservice, the reincarnator who is both equally as capable as she is useless, and the sane one (It's Mel, for those who can't figure that one out. Sanity is quite hard to figure out in Mendass.). There'd be a sixth, but that one is currently interviewing the lovers of her daughters (That's what she's calling the shadow clones now, for some fucking reason). What is important is the conversation the five figures (Well, it's more like two of them talking shit to each other and the other three not wanting to speak up) are having.

"They say Karma's a bitch. That's right since she's my bitch." Says the ascended side character.

"There's no way Karma is your bitch." Says the antagonist who did nothing for redemption (Seriously though, are we just going to forget her murders?)

"What makes you say that, huh?!"

"Because you got no bitches."

"Seriously… a meme…."

"Well… yeah… fuck, now even I'm disappointed in myself."

"Yeah, you should be. Also, fuck you, I can get bitches."

"Get one, then."

"Uh… fuck!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"By the way, since Maddy isn't here, who's the perspective character? You got any idea, sis?"

"Why are you asking me?! Shouldn't the meta stuff be left up to you or Myka?!"

"I have no idea, and I sure as hell ain't asking Myka."

"I believe the perspective character is your mom."

"Seriously, Myka? First, no bitches, and now a mom joke."

"Fuck you, that's why."

"That's it." Says the Merida fill-in. "Put your hands up right now, rabbit bitch. We're going to have a fistfight."

"It's time to duel." Says the rabbit (Allegedly).

"I'm surrounded by insane idiots." Says the relatively normal one, who is too busy to retort to what is happening in the background. What's happening in the background, you ask? The Summoner has summoned a couple of fire demons to burn down the goddess' cafe. Meanwhile, the catgirl is busy looting the remains. Just another day in Mendass.

"Seriously though, who's the perspective chara-"

We interrupt this viewing of the main story, "Side Note," to bring you something else! Re-introducing "A Shadow Clone's Observation of a Harem In The Middle of The Sea (AKA The Raft)."

Dear diary… why do I have a diary? Oh yeah, now I remember. It was a gift from Doris. Where did Doris get a diary? We're in the middle of the sea! Eh, whatever. I need something to do while I'm on this raft. Sure, I could escape to the Shadowrealm and exit through Physical Madeleine's shadow, but that's escaping the easy way. Well, that and the raft has been thoroughly upgraded and is quite comfy now. You kind of need to upgrade when you end up getting a harem. 

Oh, I'm not the one with the harem. That's more shadow clone #34's schtick, you know. Seriously, how the hell do you seduce a goddess, her high priestess, and the high priestess' bodyguard? No, the one with the harem is the captain. Do you remember the captain? Who am I even asking? It's not like the diary can answer back… although that would be cool. Diary, answer me!

The diary isn't answering me, damnit. So, where was I? Let me read over what I've written. Wait, why am I writing down all my thoughts? Damn you, Physical Madeleine! Oh yeah, the captain's harem. We've been on this raft for roughly three weeks, and in that time, the captain had to fight a shark, a siren, a giant jellyfish, and a random pirate who was marooned on this island with a single palm tree. There's an odd amount of sea monsters that can turn into a humanoid form, and they also take up a lot of space on the raft. Fortunately, we come across a lot of driftwood, and we've more or less turned the raft into a floating house. 

The captain and his harem take up most of the space, but luckily I have my own cute little corner of the house solely for myself. I was thinking about joining the harem, but I don't like the shark. He's not very kind to shadow people, which I take offence to. As for the other harem members, they exist, I guess. I haven't really gotten to know them. I do have to commend the captain on his inclusivity. There are gals, there are dudes, there are… oh my god, I've just realised the captain is attracted to both women and men. How did it take me this long to realise?

Speaking of the captain, I'm fishing with him right now. Considering the limited pool of people on the raft, there are not many people the captain can go to for some good old-fashioned friendship, considering everyone on this ship besides me is part of the harem. Yep, Doris is part of the harem too, which sucks for me, but at least I get to skip out on the current situation that's happening. As much as I love Physical Madeleine, I'd rather not talk about my love life with her. 

Anyways, we've caught a lot of things while fishing. A couple of fish, a couple of pirate corpses, two treasure chests, seven mermaid bras, eleven barrels of indescribable liquids, five cats, and a ghost. Don't ask how the captain caught a ghost with his fishing rod. I swear he seems capable of some of the dumbest shit. Just the other day, he ended up sleeping with the spirit of the raft (Apparently, when a ship is out at sea for long enough, it develops a spirit, and apparently, the raft counts as a ship). Speaking of the ghost, I made eye contact with her and got a Side Note. You know what, I'll draw the Side Note into my diary.

I don't know what Side Note means, but something tells me Ava would know. I should talk to the other shadow clones at some point. Catch up with them. News doesn't really reach the raft. Anyway, that's all I can be bothered to write, so bye-bye, diary. The captain needs some help to pull his catch. I hope it isn't a monster that he'll end up making love to.

Character profile: Psyche Akron

Sacred power: Soul Body

Reason for being in the sea: "The ocean was calling for me."

Description: The soul trapped in the mortal plane. Psyche was a seafarer with a very adventurous spirit who hoped to reach the very end of the Endless Sea. She'd admit to not being the smartest, but what she lacks in intelligence, she makes up with pure and unadulterated determination. Unfortunately, she fell victim to the cruellest part of Mendass: Its everloving desire to screw people over in oddly specific and especially sadistic methods. For Psyche, Mendass chose to take inspiration from Davy Jones's Locker by having Psyche's sailboat suddenly find itself completely submerged by unnatural means before having her drowned and held down by spectral chains to the sands of the seabed. By some miracle, Psyche was pulled out by the captain and swore loyalty to him from that day onward. Eventually, she joins the harem. 

Chapter namesake: Pull The Catch by Fat Freddy's Drop