Dear diary… I have lost my diary, so I am currently pretending to write my diary entries in my mind. Right now, I'm in the middle of a war strategy meeting. You see, recently, we have managed to make it back to the mainland, ending up in Coast City, Thawnerry. Now, why are we having a war strategy meeting? Because the beach we landed on just so happened to have a different harem on it, and as per Worldwide Mendass Law, if two harems just so happen to bump into each other on a beach, they must battle one another in a non-lethal, four-man squad vs squad war. Why does such a law exist? Because the Reincarnator's Organization loves their oddly specific laws that Mendass can't ignore because they have fucking nukes. At least according to Physical Madeleine's memories.

Speaking of harems, the captain's harem has grown quite a lot over our time at sea. You've got the random sea monsters with human forms, the marooned pirate, the raft's spirit, the ghost we fished out that one time, and Doris, but on top of them, he also managed to snatch up the Dungeon Master of an underwater dungeon, a lonely mermaid, and, I don't know how, the Goddess of the Sea. The captain's harem grows by the day, I swear. I'm glad he can't get half of them pregnant… then again, it's the captain. He somehow beat a tsunami with just his fists. I wouldn't be surprised if he knew a secret technique to get the male members of his harem pregnant.

Why am I bringing up pregnancy? Because I am a nanny now. Turns out that sea monsters lay eggs, and that said eggs hatch very quickly. I mean… I know they went at it a lot. The captain has quite a lot of vitality… but to think sea monsters were very fertile… at least the kids are cute. I feel like I've gotten off-topic.

"And so that concludes who we are choosing for the squad."

Oh yeah, the four-on-four harem battle the captain has to do. I wonder who he chose… well, fortunately, I have my trusty slate of rock that I use Earth Magic on to write. Let me just write and show him real quick. Okay, done. I tap his shoulder, making him face me, and show him my slate.

"Hmm? Ah, give me a second." He quickly reads through the message. "Would you like me to give explanations as well?"

I nodded. Explanations are nice. I like listening… half the time.

"The first member will be me, obviously. The head of the harem must compete, although I would most likely be competing anyways, considering my combat capabilities." Ah, that's true. The captain feels like an S-Rank adventurer whenever I see him fight, maybe even beyond that. I can see some measures the Maid School used for S-Rank adventurers failing against the captain… but not all of them. I'd probably be able to dispose of him faster than Physical Madeleine can make a cup of tea.

"The second member will be Doris. Her Hydrokinesis will be very handy, as the battlefield will be on a beach." Ah, Doris. She got over her hydrophobia… somehow. I have no idea how that works, but that's probably because Physical Madeleine and, by proxy, myself, have no idea what fear is. She'll definitely be a big player in the fight.

"The third member will be Alex. I'll be having Doris create a massive pool of water in the middle of the beach so they can use their squid form to its biggest potential." Ooh, it's the original raft members! Ah, I remember those days. It was just a square raft with no rooms and nothing but the sea around us. By the way, I still can't tell if Alex is a dude or a gal, and no one will tell me. I'd like to know, but unfortunately, I'm the only one on the raft who hasn't seen them naked… then again, I've seen no one on the raft naked, besides some of the kids when I bathe them.

"The last member will be you, Oceana." Heh? "In truth, Doris, Alex, and myself should be enough to defeat the opposing harem… but I want insurance, which is why I want you as the fourth member. You are the most powerful one of us. I've known it since the start. I know you are not part of the harem, but…" He let out a smirk, "The enemies don't know that."

I erase my previous message on my slate and write a new one. 'It seems funny. I'll do it.'

"Good to know."

'I'll only intervene if you three get knocked out, though.'

"Fair enough." The captain put on his captain coat and captain hat. "Now, let's go." 

So the battle ended, and I did nothing. The enemy harem master was a golem, while the three it chose to fight with were beginner adventurers. They were no match for the captain. As soon as the referee blew the whistle, he threw out a single punch and knocked out all four opponents with the air pressure. How boring… ah, but I did figure out how the golem got a harem. A Side Note popped out when I touched it. Here it is.

Huh. I have no idea what to say to this. By the way, the battle's winner gets to merge the loser's harem into their own, so I guess I'll have to expand the raft. Who knew being the sole maid for a harem family led to so much work? 

Huh? That last question doesn't work because I haven't talked about what duties I do? Eh, whatever.

Character profile: Julius

Sacred power: Playboy

Body material: Carbon fibre with a layer of synthetic skin.

Description: The playboy golem. Julius was originally a sex toy the Golemancer made. The Creator saw it and decided to destroy the golem that previously held Playboy to give it to Julius whilst also giving it self-awareness. After waking up in a cave near Coast City, it promptly walked in and started seducing women left and right. It is popular with brothels in Coast City, as well as with tourists. It lives a simple life with a simple goal: Love every woman.

Chapter namesake: The 'Bays' album by Fat Freddy's Drop