The metallic sound of her cell door opening woke Paulina up. She was feeling like shit. It had taken her forever to get back to sleep after the cockroach incident, and her whole body itched. Her mattress was infested with bed bugs, she should have known from the hygiene conditions.
Gathering their belongings, her fellow inmates headed for the exit. Scratching furiously, not daring to let go of her blanket, Paulina asked:
"Where are you going?"
Her bed neighbor replied as she walked by, "At the showers, it's twice a week. Don't miss the window."
Paulina hurried to follow them, but not too closely. She didn't want to feel the putrid breath of her co-prisoner again. It didn't take long for them to reach the shower room. Two guards stood at the entrance, checking what the inmates were taking in. They let Paulina through without a problem.
She looked around, trying to get her bearings, but there wasn't much to see really. A succession of showers hung on the wall like in a swimming pool, with barely a low wall to separate them. There were naked women everywhere. Young, old, black, white... many with skin diseases or scars.
Paulina noticed Grace in the shower, and hesitantly walked over to her. Freckles covered the young redhead's chest, giving her an exotic look, but she was in the process of making them disappear under a layer of soap. She was rubbing herself frantically, as if she wanted to tear off her skin. Paulina understood the feeling, and wished she could do the same.
"Hey Grace," Paulina said once she was close. "I wanted to say thanks for the orientation yesterday."
"You're welcome."
Grace rinsed herself off quickly, then proceeded to cover herself with soap again, scrubbing just as hard as the first time. Paulina made no comment. Maybe she had OCD...
"Anyway, my stuff was stolen last night, and I was wondering if you could lend me your soap and towel when you're done."
Grace gave a mirthless smile. "Things don't work like that here. You're a newbie, a Fresh Fish, and not in any gang. If I lend you my soap, the others will think you've joined the White Ghosts, and Bonnie won't like that."
"Who is Bonnie?" asked Paulina.
"It's the Ghost Madam in prison, you want to stay on her good side."
Exclusion and repression, sounds like student sororities. I should be able to fit in.
"Do you think I could join the gang?"
Grace paused for a moment, considering her thoughtfully. "Why not, you're pretty too, maybe that way she'll stop forcing me to..."
"To what?"
"Nothing. You can try your luck at lunch, but don't get your hopes up. You don't have much to offer."
Paulina received the affront like a blow to the stomach, her breath taken away. Not much to offer? She hadn't been treated like this since junior high! While she had come to Grace full of good will, what a bitch!
I'll find a way to get back at her.
Holding back a snarl, her mouth constracted, she finally replied. "Okay, thanks for the advice. See you later."
Paulina rushed into a shower compartment that had just become available. Still annoyed, she undressed quickly then made run the water. It was hardly hot. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall, trying to relax, trying to forget all the other women around her. It was difficult, she was startled every time she heard a noise close to her.
Finally she could not calm down. And the lack of a towel to dry herself did not help. It was a good thing, because her anger was fueling her will. She had to find a way to survive, to move up the prison ladder. This Bonnie would be a good start.
After the shower, all the inmates gathered in the main room where the guards distributed them on the different activities of the morning. Paulina was not assigned anywhere, as were most of the other women in the ground floor cells. She was beginning to see a pattern.
The dice were loaded from the start in favor of the gangs and other very important prisoners. They were the only ones who could go out and get some fresh air, and they were also those who were given the available work to make a little money. In the meantime, she found herself doing nothing but watching TV in the main room with the degenerates.
At least it couldn't be worse than the night she had spent in her cell.
The morning passed at a snail's pace. Paulina spent half her time depressing, and the other half imagining herself running a gang. She was still itching all over because of the damn bugs. She had to get a good mattress, but she was afraid to get in a fight, these other women would not hesitate to strike back!
Finally, it was time for lunch. The others returned from the activities, and everything became much more lively again. Paulina watched the faces with particular attention. Now that she knew what to look for, everything was easier. The White Ghost women were all orbiting around a small, fat woman covered in tattoos. They were attentive when she spoke, and many looked away fearfully when she looked at them.
That must have been Bonnie, the Ghost Madam. She had to earn her good graces.
She was ugly, her mouth always puckered, and her hair thin and brittle. Moreover Paulina hated fat girls. She was going to have to take it on herself. She needed protection, and gangs were the only solution around here.
Paulina slowly approached the table where the White Ghosts were eating, gaining a better view of Bonnie's tattoos. A gigantic crocodile went from her left arm to her right passing through her back. And on her fingers were the letters EWMN. Paulina had to admit that it was very intimidating, but she wasn't going to give up for that much.
She arrived at the table, her eyes fixed on Bonnie. The only problem was that she didn't know what to say. She glanced quickly at Grace, thinking she was going to introduce her, but she looked away, and Paulina realized she couldn't count on her.
"What do you want, Fish?" asked Bonnie between bites.
Paulina gasped as she realized that Bonnie was talking to her. It won't do, she have to regain her composure to make a good impression. She took the firm voice.
"Hello Madam, I was told that you were the one running this prison. I was wondering if you would have a place for me on your crew."
Bonnie didn't look up from her plate.
"Are you a crackhead?"
"No, no, not at all," Paulina defended herself. "I've never touched drugs!"
"Good, I can't stand it when the bitches from the Ring try to push their junkies on me."
What can I say to that?
Bonnie engulfed the last of her meat, and casually leaned back in her chair. Her cold eyes met Paulina's, who shivered instinctively, as if faced with a predator.
"So," Bonnie continued. "You're a lone chick who would like to come under my protection."
Paulina winced. This wasn't looking good, this woman was brimming with arrogance.
"Not really," she replied. "I'm a strong independent woman, I was thinking more of a cooperative relationship, give and take sort of thing?"
"Ah!" exclaimed Bonnie. "Let me explain something about power. You either have it or you have to beg for it from others, there is no give and take. And you're a little shit who can only beg for other people's leftovers."
"You whore," Paulina shouted without thinking.
A massive woman at Bonnie's side stood up, and before Paulina could say woof, she found her head plastered to a plate, her hair dripping with brown sauce. She tried to get out of the way, but her arms only flailed in the air. She didn't have enough strength to break free of the matron's iron grip.
Bonnie leaned toward her with a sadistic smile on her lips.
"Hard time adjusting to prison, huh? Don't worry, Fish, I will help you."
Her pudgy fingers pulled Paulina's hair over her ear. Sauce began to drip down her cheek.
"It's very simple actually," Bonnie continued. "I talk, you listen. I command, you execute. This is the only way for you to have a life here."
Biting her lips in rage, Paulina didn't answer. She felt so helpless. Being immobilized like this, in full view of everyone, was the worst humiliation of her life. She couldn't understand why she was doing this to her. That Bonnie, she... she was worse than a man! And she wasn't even trying to hide it.
"Let me go," Paulina grunted desperately.
"No, no, no," Bonnie crooned. "You still don't get it. I'm the one who decides, you're just here to thank me afterwards."
Paulina began to struggle again, and her hand finally managed to reach something, a plastic fork. She grabbed it and swung as best she could in Bonnie's direction. The cutlery crashed into her arm, breaking in two without hurting her much. The Ghost Madam laughed.
"Still wrong. If you're submissive enough you could get rewards, but... if you try to rebel there are consequences."
At these words, the matron lifted Paulina from the table and threw her to the floor. She landed on her back, breathless and with spots dancing in front of her eyes. She didn't have time to recover before being hit from all sides by the White Ghosts. She curled up in the fetal position, but it wasn't enough. She couldn't parry all the blows.
One foot found its way between her arms and hit her solar plexus. Another one snuck up to her face and almost broke her nose. A jug of water was spilled on her, food rained down. After a while, she was no longer aware of anything. There was only the tears that flowed freely, and the taste of blood in her mouth.
When the storm of blows subsided, and before she lost consciousness, she heard Bonnie whisper in her ear:
"Come see me when you're ready. I have a job for you."
***
As soon as Paulina woke up, she rolled back into a ball, waiting for the next blow. Nothing came. The screaming had died down and there was only silence. She finally opened her eyes to look around. She was lying in a clean bed, with white sheets, and even a pillow. Had it all been a bad dream?
She sat up. A flash of pain shot through her ribs, she must have had several cracked ones. Her lower lip was swollen, and she had bruises all over her arms. Definitely not a bad dream. she must have been in the prison infirmary. Paulina let herself fall backwards. If only she could stay here for the rest of her sentence...
That Bonnie, I can't beat her or avoid her. Now that she has me in her sights, I'm done for.
Paulina shivered at the thought. All her life she had been afraid of being preyed upon by a predator. That's why she had avoided relationships with men like the plague, accepting only those she could manipulate. That's also why she had always sought the support of other women, to have a safety net in case someone came after her.
She had always known that it would happen, sooner or later. What she didn't expect was that it would be a woman who would impose her domination upon her. It was so strange. It should have been a reassurance, but it was just the opposite, as if it made it even more unhealthy.
Tears began to roll down Paulina's cheeks again, half from distress, half from resignation. She could no longer fight. She had no options, no strength. She could only let go. Paulina fell back onto the bed, drained, all the tension that had built up over the last few months gradually subsiding. That was it, she had hit rock bottom.
She spent the rest of the day in daze. The night as well as she couldn't sleep. She didn't think, she just stared at the ceiling, and waited for time to pass. All her fears had come true. She didn't need to worry or struggle anymore. It was all in vain.
When the nurse released her in the morning, she felt nothing. She wandered for a long time in the corridors until she reached the cells on the second floor. There she stopped. The inmates were clean, healthy, well-dressed compared to her gray jumpsuit. The cells were cozy, some had even a refrigerator and a TV inside.
Paulina continued her silent walk until she found Bonnie's cell. Several White Ghosts hanging out in the hallway watched her arrive with a half-smile. She could hear them whispering among themselves, talking about her of course, but that too didn't matter anymore.
Bonnie came out of her cell with a yawn, she was accompanied by the matron and Grace.
"Well?" she asked.
"I'm ready," Paulina said without emotion. There was no point in delaying the inevitable.
Bonnie raised her eyebrows. "You gonna be my bitch?"
"Yes," Paulina nodded, still impassive. "I would do anything for you."
"Good, if you stick with that attitude, you won't regret it. Come into my cell."
Paulina entered the cell, it was one of the most luxurious she had seen so far. It was much larger than those on the ground floor, there was even a bookcase against one wall! She stopped in the middle of the room, waiting for further instructions, while Bonnie dropped onto a bed. A real bed, like the one in the infirmary.
"We'll start with a little test, to see if I can really count on you," Bonnie said.
"Okay Bonnie."
"One of the guards is giving me trouble. She's young, she doesn't quite understand how things work here, and she has started harassing those who work for me. I want her out of the picture."
"How do I do that Bonnie?"
"Catch!"
A plastic packet wrapped in tape flew into the room. Paulina reacted at the last moment and barely caught it. It was about two centimeters square, but quite thick. She turned her gaze back to the Ghost Madam.
"Is that..."
"Just a bit of flour," said Bonnie. "I want you to put it in the guard's pocket, discreetly, so she won't spot it right away. When you've done with your part, there will be a surprise inspection."
She has the power to do that...
Of course she does, I'm so naive!
"Okay, i'll do it," she said humbly.
"Good," replied Bonnie. "Grace will point you to the guard in question. You have to do it this morning."
Paulina pocketed the packet and left the cell. At a sign from Bonnie, Grace followed her. They walked down the hallway, and down the stairs, without saying a word. When they reached the main room, Grace pointed to the guard in question. There were three of them stationed there, preparing to divide the inmates between the morning's activities. Paulina's target must have been twenty-five years old, with a childlike face, very short hair, looking relaxed and confident.
I used to look like that too.
All the prisoners were starting to gather in the room. Paulina went to the front, as if she was eager to be chosen. The guard glanced at her swollen face, but immediately returned to her task. She didn't want to let herself get emotional, Paulina had a card to play here.
The selection began. Like the day before, it was the gang members who were chosen to work or to go out. Paulina's target did not seem happy, and kept glaring at her colleagues. Paulina knew this kind of anger well. She waited patiently for it to reach its peak, then rushed forward.
"Pick me!" she cried, grabbing the guard's pants.
Her target flinched, but eventually stayed put when she saw that she was not dangerous.
"Go back to your seat," she said, softer than she should have.
"No," Paulina replied, burying her face in the guard's lap. "Help me please!"
Her hand slipped surreptitiously to the guard's pocket, and dropped the packet inside.
The guard sighed, but pulled out his baton anyway. "Let go of me right now."
Paulina obeyed, as if frightened, and joined the others on all fours. Laughter punctuated her retreat, but she didn't care, she had accomplished her mission.
Bonnie's gaze passed over her as she walked to the library. Paulina nodded imperceptibly. The guard was screwed, but she felt no guilt. It was the law of the jungle.
I'm not much, but I'm in the gang now.
