Chapter 4: Ambivalence
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Yes, all the time in the wor-

”...ld.” The youth sat up. Her body screamed in pain as she raised her fingers to wipe her face. Tears had trickled down her cheek. Her heart throbbed with an unknown sorrow.

She stared at the tear drops that lingered on her tiny fingertips. She clenched her fingers, smashing the pearl drops into nothingness.. before relaxing the fingers and studied its features. It was definitely smaller hands than the one in the dream.. prompting her to remember the curious reflection from earlier. Her eyes swiped around the room, searching for a means to see herself once more.

It was a different room from earlier, this one was slightly bigger but there was nothing in it except for the bed she was on and a brazier. She could see that this room was not always this way. There were traces of things had been recently moved away perhaps.. by force.

Footsteps echoed from outside the room, the wooden vibration trembled to form a soothing symphony.. that was somehow nostalgic. The footsteps halted, shattering the nostalgia, and the door creaked open

A youthful silhouette of about 6 years old entered the room. His hands were dyed black with soot and it formed a cradle around pile of twigs and leaves.

His eyes were bright and cheerful despite the bruised complexion and the charcoal face paint. His eyes glowed even brighter when he noticed the only room occupants had awakened.

“Prince! Your highness!! You.. you are awake!!” Instantly, He dropped whatever he was carrying and knelt facing the wet courtyard. “Thank you Heavenly Emperor ah.. Thank you Celestial Moon ah! Also... also..Praise be to the Ancient Sun!! And glory to all one thousand immortals, eight hundred saints, four divine beasts...and all seven of my ancestors!!!”

The weird mix of religions and beliefs was rather blasphemous, but the one worshipping was so sincere... those tiny hands swiping against each other with fervent gratitude... This..would surely vexed the celestials. The image of all those petty immortals angrily beating their chest, some might even jumped out of heaven’s window out of frustration, brought out a chuckle from her chapped lips.

It sounded hoarse, catching the attention of the little boy. “Of course, of course! It’s been three days since you were awake. Let me get you a cup of water, your highness.”

Only then did he realised that his hands were still covered with soot. In panic, he scampered back and forth. His mind was overwhelmed from wanting to do so many things at once, he secretly wished he would be able to split his body into three. One to stoke the brazier, one to fetch a cup of fresh water.. one to wash his hands.. but then won’t the other two still needs to wash their hands too?

His eyes started spiralling from the conflicting thoughts, until the ‘prince’ clapped her hands. The sudden noise broke the spell and its only victim looked up at his hero.

“Calm down. Start with the brazier..the room could do with some warmth.” the ‘prince’ commanded.

“Yes..? Yes, yes! Of course, your highness! How could this servant let you fell sick again!” He quickly picked up the pile of twigs and went to work. Soon, warmth permeated the room once more.

A while later, Xiao Yu cheerfully skipped out of the room and returned with pot of water. His hands were now free of soot and his heart, from burden. His bruised face was radiating.

“This servant was so scared when I heard you scream, your majesty. I thought there was an assassin.. I thought off calling the guards but, with their pudgy feet, your highness might get assassinated before hand. So this brave servant decided to teach the assassin with my own hands.” He chattered as he poured the pot of water into a cup and handed it to the ‘prince’. “After all, this servant is in possession of a secret scroll ....though... this servant has yet to learn to read...but.. but maybe I could throw it as a distraction!”

She smiled at his endearing chatters, it was similar to someone in her dream.. but who? Her heart throbbed again. To distract herself, she sipped the cup and studied the chattering child before her.

The unique robe signify his role as apprentice eunuch. It was the same one as in her memory.. so she must still be in Xia empire. His face and hands were bruised, countless small scars ran underneath them. That coupled with the state of all the room.. the eunuch and the prince life might not be good. Perhaps an unfavoured prince from one of the concubine? But she was not sure, that reflection had never appeared in her dream. It definitely was not hers.

“.. when I entered the room. Your highness was on the floor. Every object had been flung down and the room was in chaos. This servant was so scared that you might wake up and had another bout of madne..illness. So this servant moved you to concubine’s room.” The little eunuch sighed when a thought suddenly entered his mind and he quickly knelt apologetically.

“.. Aaaaa... Sorry, Your highness! This bumbling servant had committed a huge error! ” He moaned and rapidly rapped his tiny heads against the wooden floor. "I forgot that you commanded the concubine’s room to be sealed."

The sudden unreasonable action snapped her back to the present, she quickly made him stand up. She sighed and thought for a beat before forming her words carefully, “..this prince does not mind.”

It was something TianXi often said. Perhaps mimicking his speech would not be a bad idea until she could fully figure out the whole situation.. after all she is now a ‘prince’. She cleared her throat.

“...this prince head hurts and can’t remember many things. Tell me..” She narrowed her eyes signalling him to fill in the blanks. It took her a couple of eye blinks and a glare until he finally understood her but once he did he obeyed loyally.

“Xiao Yu! This eunuch name is Xiao Yu. Don’t worry prince.. Xiao yu memory is really good! Leave it all to this servant!” He smugly answered. “Where should I start? Let’s see..”

 

 

A while later,  she massaged her temple, a tad regreful. His constant chatters and barrages of muddled jumbled information was hard to grasp, resulting in her head aching in protest.

“..and then..master Yan..” He continued. “...So, on that day..”

She raised her hand abruptly..cutting off his chatters.

 “Enough... Leave me. I am.. tired.” She commanded with a sigh.

 The little eunuch was stunned and pouted. It had been a while since he had someone to talk to but, his little head understood that all nobles were born weird temperament. Nodding knowingly, he quickly bowed and left the room. He skipped his way down the wooden corridor, his mind and heart were relieved. At least, the prince had became well enough to chat. Now, He just needed to nurse the prince back to health. Perhaps, a bowl of warm millet would do wonders!

 

Behind the door, the ‘Prince’ sat on the bed and fell into a deep thought. She closed her eyes and filtered the various new information. She slowly rearranged them and combined it with the one she had.

Firstly, Her memory as Xia Qing Yun seemed to be spotty. Trying to recall it will always sends her body into a frenzy. If she tried hard enough perhaps, she might be able to endure it but.. her body recoiled when she remembered the vivid red and the accompanying pain. Not to lie, she certainly did not want to be in that situation again.

Secondly, this body’s identity. His name was Kangyun. Xian Kangyun. The unfavoured 19th son of the current emperor and a concubine. His mother died during childbirth due to poison. Since he was exposed to poison as a fetus, his body was frail and all of his meridian had been blocked, ensuring that he would never be able to practice martial arts.

Since he was born without prospect, many of the servants quickly fled to a different master. On the way out, Some of the vile ones even managed to get their hands on the concubine’s dowry. The remaining loyal servants, mostly those that originated from the concubine estate, stayed. Only to later be implicated in various crime. A couple died and the rest was reshuffled by the palace administration. Now, only Xiao Yu was left.

She gazed at the reflection on the cup of water. Haggardly staring back at her was, a set of prominent eyes with double lids, outlined by thick eyebrows. She raised her hand and led her fingers to trail across the morbid pale complexion. A small sharp nose and chapped lips rest on the boyish frame. Although, trace of encounter with King yama was still apparent, it could not hide the noble visage beneath it.

Kangyun’s mother must had been an exceptional beauty. Perhaps, that was why she had lost her life. A pity.

Lastly, there was one thing that must be confirmed. She sighed, turned her body away from the window and faced the corner wall. A muffled noises quietly rustled. Sometime later.. the youth’s head awkwardly turned up. Another sigh..

 

Hello, little Kangyun.

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