“What on earth could you possibly be doing with that?” Zheng Xiaosi asks when he finds Jia Zhenzhen in a storage room, pulling an old military uniform over her body. She recognizes it, because it was the same one that had hung in a special wardrobe in their home. Her father had fought in the war this was from, so it had to have been about 20 years old. 

 

“I’m going to go get Lei Yirui.” she says, fastening the arm guards over her forearms.

 

“Ah, yes. You’re going to get her. Why did no one else think of that?” he responds dryly. Jia Zhenzhen glowers at him. The idea that retrieving Lei Yirui was even on the table was laughable. The emperor would undoubtedly consider efforts to investigate her a waste of time and resources. He probably didn’t even know who she was. So thank you, Prince Dickwad, but Jia Zhenzhen really is the only one getting off of her ass and doing anything. 

 

…Lei Yirui might have been rubbing off on her a bit. Jia Zhenzhen had never been too shy about cursing in the first place, but Lei Yirui’s very frequent and creative propensity for it was a bit inspiring.

 

“Leave me alone. Go bother Lei Shunyuan.” she says. Zheng Xiaosi visibly winces at the suggestion, and Jia Zhenzhen rolls her eyes. She could care less about their drama, but both of them annoy the shit out of her, so it would really be great if they could preoccupy themselves with each other.

 

“I believe he might kill me if I try.” Zheng Xiaosi says sincerely.

 

“Rejoice!” says Jia Zhenzhen, a cheerful lilt to her voice that she’s stolen directly from Lei Yirui. Jia Zhenzhen saying something with the slightest semblance of enthusiasm has Zheng Xiaosi looking unnerved, and she’s sure he’s about to give up and leave when a hand reaches towards her shoulder. She captures the wrist in a bruising grip before giving him a demanding stare.

 

“Why are you touching me?” he asks first, sounding genuinely affronted as he pulls his arm away, dusting it off on the front of his robes. “Anyways, this old thing will dust off of you before you even get out of the city. You can borrow one of my uniforms.” he says, and Jia Zhenzhen blinks at him in surprise.

 

“Doing charity, are you?” she asks. 

 

“Never,” Zheng Xiaosi replies with a grin, before gesturing towards the door. Jia Zhenzhen shuffled past him slightly awkwardly as she pushes open the door, only to go a little pink when she sees the slightly bewildered faces of a few of the guards. She didn’t even think that they’d be there - they definitely heard that entire conversation. And she definitely knows a few of them. 

 

Nevertheless, Zheng Xiaosi leads her to the main building, and through a door she had never been allowed near. It’s… a closet. She gazes around with an unimpressed frown at all of the luxurious clothing. Zheng Xiaosi couldn’t care less, apparently, because he’s busy striding over to an elaborately carved wooden chest and opening it. 

 

Inside is a uniform - white, thick and sturdy looking leather. It’s such a pure white that Jia Zhenzhen has to raise an eyebrow. Is this really the uniform that he’s meant to wear if he ever goes onto the battlefield? 

 

Jia Zhenzhen only watches silently as he lifts the uniform and drops it into her hands. 

 

“Is this a uniform, or a costume?” she asks. Zheng Xiaosi narrows his eyes, crossing his arms. 

 

“You’re incredibly funny. Just put it on.” he says. Jia Zhenzhen clicks her tongue, beginning to shrug off her current uniform to slip on the new one. Zheng Xiaosi hasn’t looked away, but he looks more bored than anything else, and it isn’t like Jia Zhenzhen hasn’t changed in front of the other guards before. 

 

“Isn’t this too big?” she asks unsurely as she begins to slip it on. It’s heavy, but she’s never worn something that feels so tough. She wonders if a blade would even snag it. 

 

“It may be. Don’t start complaining, though, I don’t wish to hear it. If it is, just… hm, tuck the pants into your boots.” he says. Jia Zhenzhen feels a little embarrassed, but she does exactly that. She also has to bunch up the sleeves a bit, and she glares at Zheng Xiaosi throughout. 

 

It does feel better than the old uniform. Significantly so. Even if she feels like a bit of an idiot in it.

 

“Ah! How could I forget!” Zheng Xiaosi says suddenly, and Jia Zhenzhen watches in confusion as he approaches an inordinately long drawer that’s settled beneath a row of his clothing, her eyes widening as his hands emerge from the drawer with what is clearly a sheathed sword. Jia Zhenzhen’s lips part in surprise, and remain so when Zheng Xiaosi approaches her with it, slightly pulling it out to show it to her. 

 

It's a dangerous, brutal looking sword. The hilt appears to be made out of bone, with silver and jade inlaid in an violently harsh pattern. The blade itself has clearly been sharpened until it couldn’t be anymore, glinting with a perfect, water-like reflective quality that she had never seen in metal before. 

 

“What.” Jia Zhenzhen says, even as Zheng Xiaosi puffs up like a peacock and pulls it out all of the way, manhandling Jia Zhenzhen a bit and tucking it into the scabbard at her hip despite his earlier qualms about touching her.

 

“It was looking too empty. Threw off the entire look.” Zheng Xiaosi says, as if that makes any sense, nodding to himself as if very satisfied. 

 

Jia Zhenzhen doesn’t look away from him fast enough to hide her annoyed look. She’s still a little in awe of such a beautiful weapon, and the fact that he’s just sending her off with it, but… gosh, he’s consistently insufferable. 

 

“Do you even know where she is?” he asks. 

 

“Probably the palace. Tang Xiaodan didn’t ask for anything, just took her. It wouldn’t make any sense for him to have her placed anywhere else, if he truly wants something with her.” she says. 

 

“And you’re certain it was him?” he asks. Jia Zhenzhen gives him a dry look. No wonder Lei Shunyuan does everything for him. 

 

“You’re wasting my time. I’m going.” she says, turning on her heels. Unfortunately, she can hear Zheng Xiaosi trotting after her. 

 

“Surely you don’t intend to walk all the way there? Do you not need a horse?” he asks, and she can hear the teasing grin in his voice. 

 

Jia Zhenzhen doesn’t answer, only walking slightly faster. Besides, she’d asked Ren Wenqian if she could borrow her horse already. She’d folded once Jia Zhenzhen told her where she was going. 

 

‘Ah, Yirui…’ she thinks as she pulls herself onto the back of the strong black mare. ‘Please wait to do anything stupid until I’m there.’

…

“What’s your name?” the boy asks, and Lei Yirui looks towards him, mid reach for the front door of the building they’re in. 

 

“Oh!! I guess we’ve skipped all of the formalities, huh? Well, I’m Lei Yirui. Who are you?” she asks. The boy opens his mouth, and then hesitates. 

 

“Er, this one is called Wang Wei.” he says, offering a hesitant smile. 

 

“...” 

 

That was clearly a lie!! Why is this infant lying to her about his name!! And why did he choose the most basic name possible!? Is this the placeholder name on the sample resident identity card?? 

 

“Okay, Wang Wei,” she says mockingly, and ‘Wang Wei’ just grins nervously at her. 

 

Ah, whatever. She doesn’t even think this kid was a character in Limitless, so she should just forget about it. 

 

With a deep inhale, Lei Yirui pushes the door open, puffing out her chest, but still squeezing her eyes shut just in case she’s immediately met with a sword to the face, or something. 

 

As it turns out, nothing of the sort happens. Lei Yirui opens her eyes to bright sunlight and a frankly heavenly breeze, and finds the four guards outside not even looking towards her and Wang Wei. The two of them glance at each other, before Lei Yirui takes in a sharp dose of audacity and approaches one of the guards, folding her hands daintily behind her back and swaying slightly. 

 

“Hello? Mr. Guard?” she asks. His eyes flicker towards her for the briefest moment, before his grip on his spear, not sword, tightens, and he looks away, looking sort of pink in the face. 

 

Ohhh, okay! Another victim helpless to the cute face she was blessed with in this world. Lei Yirui had always thought that her actual appearance wasn’t half bad, but it really paled in comparison to what a drama actress face could do, didn’t it?

 

Swallowing any small amount of dignity still swirling around within her heart, Lei Yirui shamelessly clings to the guards arm, and he makes a sudden choked sound, whipping his head over to look at her. His little helmet slides down his face with the movement, covering his eyes. Lei Yirui giggles, rising a hand to push it up with two fingers. She beams up at the guard, and he’s suddenly even redder than before. 

 

“Can, uh, can I help you? You’re uh, the… uh, Emperor Tang’s esteemed guest, so I don’t know what I can do for you…” he trails off, and she hears one of the other guards sigh heavily. I feel you man, I really do, she thinks sympathetically. 

 

“Esteemed guest?! Why was she kidnapped then?” exclaims Wang Wei, and Lei Yirui’s eye twitches. Not now, you dumbass child!!

 

“Kidnapped?” the guard parrots, suddenly sounding righteously angry. Lei Yirui lets go of him, and he stumbles back into a straight position as she stands in front of him, leaning forward slightly and blinking up at him with her wide brown eyes. 

 

“Well, yes, but it happens to the best of us! Besides, I’m just fine, aren’t I?” she asks, flexing a bicep. If there is no muscle there to flex, and if her arm is also entirely covered by flowy ancient robes, don’t think too hard about it, okay??

 

The guard’s eyes move briefly to the cut on her cheek, but he just nods in agreement when she gives him a flat look. 

 

“What are you doing?” The guard next to him whispers sharply, still not looking at them. 

 

“Shut up,” Lei Yirui says, pointing at him. He appears to choke on his spit, so Lei Yirui turns away from him and goes back to manipulating— ah, endearing the other man to her cause, she means!!

 

“Still, it was really rude of him to kidnap me. Like, really rude. And I’d like to ask why. And maybe offer some divine retribution.” she says. 

 

“Is it divine retribution if you’re the one doing it?” Wang Wei asks. Lei Yirui turns to give him a glare over her shoulder. He just blinks at her innocently.

 

“I was going to ask if someone as strong as you could escort me,” she says, forcing a blush onto her face. To do so, she just has to remember Jia Zhenzhen looking all flustered when Lei Yirui had managed to pin her down that one time. Lei Yirui is starting to think that she’s hopeless and should stop lying to herself about why that is. But that’s not the issue at hand!! So moving on!!! “But, if I’m really an esteemed guest, as you say….” she trails off.

 

“Well… Emperor Tang has been waiting for you to wake. We were, ah, instructed not to intervene…” he says. Lei Yirui’s face is suddenly split with a wicked looking grin, and she offers the guard a wink. 

 

“Is that so? Well, thank you for your help!!” she says. And promptly turns on her heel to head towards the stairs. 

 

Clink. Clink. Clink. Wang Wei is following after her. A few faster clinks, and the boy is suddenly at her side. 

 

“What’s happening, Lei Yirui?? Who are you?” he asks, sparkles in his eyes. Er, no. Those are tears. The kid is crying. Lei Yirui doesn’t know what to do, so she panics and gives him a simple pat on the head. 

 

Ah, he’s just crying more!! Stop it, she doesn’t know how to handle this!! 

 

“I’m, uh— Tang Xiaodan! Where is he!” she exclaims, hoping to change the subject. Wang Wei sniffles, wiping at his eyes. 

 

“Ah, apologies. You’re just so cool…” he trails off. I didn’t do anything!!! Lei Yirui thinks miserably, because a 5 year old thinking you’re cool is the most embarrassing thing she can think of. Why can’t it be Jia Zhenzhen calling her cool?? It would be a total lie, but it would fuel her ego for weeks! Months! Years!!

 

(Also, maybe Lei Yirui should ask Wang Wei his actual age at some point. Her personal estimate is anywhere from 12-14.)

 

“It’s that building there.” he says, and points towards a black building with the most ominous looking architecture she’s ever seen in her life. They’d never really shown the outside of this place in Limitless, just shots inside when focusing on Tang Xiaodan, but Jesus Christ!! Why does it look so evil?? Who made it so pointy?? Was it just like this, even before Transparently Evil Tang Xiaodan took over the throne?? Is the entirety of the Shen Tan Kingdom just full of ancient goths?

 

These questions are important!! No way even the building looks evil!!

 

Lei Yirui heaves a long suffering sigh, before hiking up the bottom of her dress to prepare to climb up all of those fucking stairs. 

 

“Coming with?” Lei Yirui asks, glancing at Wang Wei. Wang Wei’s goes, ‘Uhhhhhh,’ for a moment. 

 

“I think so!! Some days are worse than others, and today's okay. I usually have to use the stairs anyways, just, uh, just not all of them. But I think I’ve got it!!” he says with determination, before zooming ahead of Lei Yirui. 

 

Okay. Maybe she’s exaggerating. They’d both started heading towards the evil villain’s lair main section of the palace at a similar pace, with Lei Yirui a bit ahead as she went up two steps at a time, but as they got nearer to the middle she was already fucking winded and awkwardly sweaty. Wang Wei wasn’t moving any faster than he had been before, but he passed her up anyway. She supposes it makes sense if he’s just used to pacing himself because of whatever’s affecting his mobility, but come on!! How is a 2 year old beating her up the stairs!!! 

 

Wang Wei waits for her patiently at the top, buzzing with nerves. Lei Yirui arrives, exhaling heavily and looking up at the building. 

 

Ah…. even the main building back home was only two stories, with the rest being just one!! This was a solid 6!! What is happening!!

 

Wang Wei had been right, there are a metric fuck ton of guards. But they sort of just… look at them as they walk up to the black ominous doors, and Lei Yirui fiddles nervously with her fingers as the two of them continue, and she’s a little offended when no one opens the door for them. 

 

“Shitty service.” she mutters to a guard, who doesn’t say anything, but his eye does twitch.

 

Lei Yirui opens the door - the very heavy, ridiculous door by herself and with significant struggle, before she and Wang Wei walk into what is clearly a reception hall, looking around in awe. 

 

It’s fucking huge, first of all, much more so than the one back home. It’s like if the one back home got an update and some funky Halloween nightclub mood lighting. Everything is purple and black, compared to the red and gold color scheme of everything at home. 

 
There are also more guards inside, lining up on either side of the rich purple carpet lining the shiny black floors, leading down the long room up to a sharp (shocking) black (omg really?) throne. Seated on it, black leather outfit, shiny boots, funky makeup, and all is Tang Xiaodan, who looks at them with amusement and satisfaction written on his face. 

 

“Hello, manwhore.” Lei Yirui says, gazing disdainfully at the Male Villain Sitting Pose he’s engaging in. Elbow on the armrest, cheek propped up cockily on a fist, and legs spread. Tch. (Her mind helpfully supplies "legs spread invitingly." Ah, she really doesn't think that, don't misunderstand! She just reads too many raunchy fan works, okay?? They liked to describe Tang Xiaodan's hoe pose really often whenever he was paired with Jia Zhenzhen!)

 

“Lei Yirui!!” Wang Wei chokes from behind her, and there are several other alarmed coughs from the guards in the room. 

 

Tang Xiaodan laughs, adjusting his position to Male Villain Sitting Pose #2, with his elbows on his thighs and his hands folded together, looking at her through dark eyelashes. 

 

Does he have fucking glitter eyeshadow? Where??? Where the fuck did he get it?? What motherfucker in ancient TV drama China is selling mauve glitter eyeshadow!! Lei Yirui hadn’t thought twice about it when actually watching the show, but this is going to make her lose her mind. 

 

“Is that any way to greet an emperor, Lei Yirui?” he asks, tilting his head to the side, like an asshole. 

 

Lei Yirui narrows her eyes at him. 

 

“Why am I here, what do you want, and when can I leave?” she asks instead of answering. Tang Xiaodan scoffs, the grin falling off of his face into a serious expression as he sits up properly and swings one leg over the other. 

 

Ah. Male Villain Sitting Pose #3. 

 

“No time for formalities with you, hm? Very well. Tell me, Lei Yirui. Do you recall the little letter I sent you?” he questions. Lei Yirui blinks. 

 

Ah, loading screen… loading screen…

 

She gives him a bewildered look and shrugs her shoulders. Tang Xiaodan clearly does not believe her, clicking his tongue and leaning forward. 

 

“Play dumb all you want. I understand that you’re very good at it,” he says. 

 

Play dumb? She’s not playing anything! Does she… does Lei Yirui come off as dumb?? Really??

 

“Uhhh,” Lei Yirui says eloquently, shooting a lost look towards Wang Wei, who is still staring at Tang Xiaodan in awe. 

 

“I have… sources, inside of that palace, you know. They tell me interesting things about you. First, you purposefully form a relationship with my assassin. They tell me you read battle records and accounts rather than attending those frivolous lessons of yours, and that you have just about everyone who’s met you wrapped around your finger. So tell me, Lei Yirui, what are you playing at?” he asks. 

 

….

 

What??

 

What???

 

Yes, there it is! The same word is emphasized in italics! Lei Yirui is so fucking confused!

 

“What are you saying! What are the words coming out of your mouth right now, Tang Xiaodan? Where the hell did such a ridiculous conspiracy come from? I’ve literally just been minding my business! I know you have spies in the palace, but aren’t they there to cause trouble for the Two Romantic Leads That never were?? Are they so bored now that they don’t have the couple of the year to spy on that they’re spying on my boring ass?” she shouts, and Tang Xiaodan’s brows just raise on his face as he leans slightly forward like an eager dog. 

 

“People just like me, you dumbass! I’m nice, I’m funny, and I’m a good friend!! It’s called being someone’s trusted person!! You would know if you had any friends, you hack! And there are no interesting books in that palace! You lived there!! You should know! You know what I actually like reading?? Romance! Girly, dumb, fluffy romance, and also porn! I like reading erotic fiction, Tang Xiaodan! You think there’s erotic fiction in that dumbass library that only exists for the scene where the male lead takes a book from right beside the heroine’s head?? But they’re not even books! They’re stupid ass bamboo scrolls that I can barely read without making rattling noises! Even if it was porn, everyone would know!! Do you know how embarrassing that would be?” she says. 

 

“Lei Yirui,” Wang Wei says quietly behind her. Lei Yirui holds out her pointer finger to him. Just a second, Wang Wei, she’s not done!!

 

“And okay, I might’ve initially hugged Jia Zhenzhen’s thighs because she’s the cool-ass well-written all around badass protag, but we’ve bonded! We’re friends, and I really lo— uh, like her a lot, and it’s definitely beyond just knowing and admiring her as a good MC!” she says. She takes a moment to take a breath. Wow, ranting is sort of exhausting!!

“Go on,” says Tang Xiaodan eagerly. 

 

“Yes, I will!! I bet you think you’re really clever, don’t you, you smug little asshole?? You’re not!! Okay, you’re not! You absolutely didn’t pull this rug out from beneath anyone’s feet, you fucking weasel! Oh, no, who could the traitor possibly be, like someone born in Shen Tan to a wealthy official mother who was betrayed by their emperor wasn’t the obvious choice!! I thought it was executed well in the story because of the pacing and when the reveal was given, but guess what! In real life, it’s not that cool! It’s pretty lame, actually, and you can sit there and smirk at me all you want in your dumbass chair!” she says. 

 

Lei Yirui is done. She thinks. She coughs. Ah, that really did a number on her throat. When has she ever spoken that much!? She talks a lot usually, but not that much!!

 

“Lei Yirui,” Tang Xiaodan says, shaking his head and laughing. “You have revealed so much, and yet so little. Who are you, really? And how could a simple rich brat like you know of all these things? You speak nonsense one second, and the next you voice secrets of my past I have never told a single soul…” he trails off.

“Could I like, get some water?” Lei Yirui says, and coughs again, and Wang Wei gives her a sympathetic pat on the back, before his hand pauses mid-air.

 

"Wait, did you say Jia Zhenzhen???"