As was the case with many older affini, Shorea liked to joke that really her pets were the ones who owned her. They definitely owned the bookstore- she had only assisted with a few requisition forms and resolved a debate on the name. But that didn't stop Shorea from spending much of her free time in the cafe, or- if she was totally honest with herself- using it as a matchmaking venue. 

Most of the time it occurred perfectly naturally- two people simply shared the same taste in books, and all she had to do was get them talking to each other. Other times, her affini friends would be moaning about how they couldn't find the perfect pet, so she'd smile to herself and invite them to visit when a regular customer would be browsing the shelves. Barely ever did she have to do more than politely suggest that someone stay just a little longer, perhaps try a new blend of tea that Yexel was perfecting. If those she matched were not walking out the door together in less than ten minutes, it was because they were in a conversation that would last the next four hours.

As she strolled through the shelves, keeping one eye on a pair of quinoths who seemed to be anxiously avoiding direct contact with each other, Shorea activated her neural link. A readout popped into her view:

Yexel [CPU 29% | Status: Baking]

GT-49 [CPU 14% | Status: Cleaning]

875R [CPU 100% | Status: AssistingCustomer]

Through the link, Shorea thought directly into the metal hearts of her droid florets. 875R, you seem rather stressed. What’s wrong?

875R [CPU87% | Status: HelloMama,CustomerQuestionsComplicated]

I’ll be right there.

In a matter of moments, Shorea had made her way to the cafe, where she saw the boxlike form of 875R engaged in conversation with...

Of course it’s Lonely.

875R [CPU94% | Status: Yes]

GT-49 [CPU 56% | Status: IfZeGivesNewJustificationForFeralityPleaseUpdateSharedTxtFile]

Shorea pulled up a chair next to the table where, true to hir name, Lonely was the sole occupant.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Hello, Miss Shorea. By all means, please sit. Perhaps you can help- I had just been pondering a hypothetical question which 875R here overheard, and now I seem unable to dissuade him from trying to solve it."

"Ah, okay. One sec." Shorea closed her eyes and hummed for a moment. The cubical droid gave one long beep, then went still and dark. "Sorry about that- when he's in a mood, sometimes rebooting is the only way to get him out of it."

"Unfortunate, but I suppose it's necessary."

"It'll just take a sec. So, how's it going? I heard from Anemone that you two didn't really hit it off last night the way they were hoping."

"Regrettably not. I was enjoying our conversation, they gave me some good tips on improving my pronunciation of affini words, but while I was making dinner we came to a disagreement that soured the evening."

"That's too bad," said Shorea. What she did not say was From what they told me, Anemone stopped you from mishandling a knife, then you stared at them for a solid minute while dumping all the ingredients into the trash and getting unflavored nutrient paste from your replicator, what the frost is going on with you?

For five terran years, Lonely had been a rare source of... not trouble, exactly, but mild consternation for a growing number of affini. The group chat about hir was up to fifteen members, four of whom had joined after Shorea had set them up on dates with the human. Granted, almost half the messages were along the lines of 'sorry to derail the conversation, I just need you all to see this cute photo,' but that was fairly normal. For her part, Shorea was uncertain if she wanted to just leave the little one to hir misery or double down yet again.

"If you don't mind, what are you working on here?" Shorea looked down at the array of materials on Lonely's table, and the headphones ze was half-wearing.

"Ah, well, I'm comparing the differences in the Milky Way dialect of affini to this phonetic transcription of the same text from Andromeda.  It's a slow process, especially since the best terran translation of the story I've found so far is actually in Spanish. Romance languages always gave me trouble, but I'm muddling along." Ze shrugged. "But enough about me, how are you?"

"I'm fine. Sorry, are you doing a project in not one but three languages you don't know?"

"Well, that's not fair; I've picked up enough that it probably comes out to something like one-and-a-third languages I don't know."

"Quick question."

"Yes?"

"Why?"

Lonely smiled and shrugged again. "Language interests me. But more than that, translation itself is an act of constructing a connection between two or more disparate, ever-changing entities- in essence, an act of love. Surely you can appreciate that."

Shorea hummed approvingly. "I see."

"The opposite, of course, would be the Chinese Room."

"The what?"

"Ah, apologies, I imagine you have a different, hopefully less racially-charged name for that thought experiment. It's the one about the person trapped in a room, who receives blocks with symbols on them through a slot in the door, then has to look up the symbol in a guidebook and push a corresponding one back out through the slot?"

"I've probably heard of something like that, yeah." Any more thoughtful answer was inaccessible while Shorea tried to keep herself from dwelling on the picture of a sad little human trapped in a prison cell and forced to push blocks through a door.

"Well, the point is that to someone who understands the meanings of the symbols, a conversation is happening. But the one inside the room doesn't have that understanding. Without comprehension, without love, they simply act in a way that they expect will provide the desired outcome. Rather like an affini trying to prompt someone into accepting adoption against their request."

Shorea gawked. "How does that relate to me?"

Lonely tilted hir head, wide-eyed. "Who said anything about you?"

"Don't play dumb. Listen, I'm just trying to help."

"If you say so. I have made my wishes clear."

"Have you, though?" Shorea turned to 875R. "Sweetie, would you mind reading out that list your pinnate made?"

875R, who had long since finished rebooting and installing software updates, chirped. From its speakers came the melodious sound of its text-to-speech program.

"Perhaps I consider solitude my contribution to the Compact. Unilateral adoption would be tantamount to slavery, so every independent individual is a monument to affini benevolence.

"Maybe I do have an owner, and they are remaining hidden.

"Can you be sure that I'm not actually an affini wearing a perfect human disguise?

"There's always the possibility that the world around us is a computer simulation, and my owner hasn't yet loaded in."

With a wave from Shorea, the playback paused. "Thank you, darling," she said before turning back to Lonely. "GT-49 enjoys your reasons, and decided to write them down. I'm more curious about the truth."

"I have told you, I like making decisions."

"But why, what does that mean?"

"It means I am alive!"

Shorea paused. That was more passion than she had ever heard from the little human.

Lonely took a deep breath and settled back in hir chair. When she spoke again, it was much more calmly. "Before the affini arrived, I was a clerk. It's an innocuous title, but in a capitalist society it may as well mean assassin. My work directly harmed an uncountable number of people for the benefit of shareholders, but it was so meticulously double-checked that subterfuge seemed impossible. I was-" ze turned to 675R, "pardon the expression, but I was a cog in the machine." Lonely's gaze returned to Shorea. "Imagine my joy when that machine was dismantled, only to learn that we pieces were simply going to get placed in boxes and shut away."

"That's not fair," interjected Shorea. "Everyone in the Compact is loved and cared for."

"I never said it wasn't an improvement," replied Lonely. "To continue the metaphor, the boxes are cushioned and custom-designed for each piece. But a box remains a box, and no container as invulnerable as the Compact can facilitate anything within it to grow beyond the shape of the receptacle."

"Wait, what?" said Shorea. "Are you saying that you think you're better than the affini?"

"Absolutely not," came the reply. "I'm disappointed because I believe that the affini could be much better than they are, but you believe that you have solved existence and therefore can no longer learn."

"Not exactly true." Shorea Plainbark, Twenty-Seventh Bloom smiled softly. "A long time ago, I got a glimpse of what we could really become. It wasn't worth it."

Lonely nodded. "Nothing takes root at the summit of great mountains."

"True enough."

"But what if there are other ways to grow? If the universe is a graph, then the x-axis presents you with no challenge, and there is little for you to find further along the y. But what if there's a z?"

"What could even be there?"

"I don't know! But nothing I have found about the Compact suggests interest in exploring that prospect. And it will remain undiscovered so long as nobody else believes in the affini the way I do."

"Good luck with that, I suppose," said Shorea, idly. She turned to 875R. "Sweetie, I think we're all set, how about you go check if anyone else needs help?"

875R [CPU 21% | Status:YesMama]

The droid rotated in place and hovered away.

"I should go too, but, out of curiosity," said Shorea, "what were you two discussing before I arrived?"

"Oh, that," Lonely gave a dismissive wave. "I was just thinking about what kind of entity might have an affini as a pet."

"Do you think that would happen?"

"If it hasn't already, then I imagine it will at some point."

"And, what, you think it'll be you?"

"Hopefully not!" Lonely laughed. "Besides, I would forever be doubting the relationship, just as I doubt that a word I said has mattered to you."

"No, you've given me some things to think about."

Lonely nodded. "Hopefully not just recommending me for class O."

"Never!"

"If you say so." Ze spread hir hands in surrender. "I am, as always, grateful for your time; it must take substantial kindness to indulge a silly little animal as ze plays at philosophy."

"Hmm. Have a good day, Lonely." Shorea wandered away from the cafe. After a minute or two, she focused on her neural link again.

Little ones? If I was your pet, what would that entail?

There was a pause as the readout showed all three droids' CPUs at 100%, then:

875R [CPU 67% | Status: ERROR,Mama=/=Pet]

Yexel [CPU 54% | Status:PredictiveModelCannotAccomodateSpecifiedParameters]

GT-49 [CPU 71% | Status:YouWouldHaveGottenMeThose7mmBoltsLastWeekLOL]

Shorea smiled at her pet’s little joke, then continued strolling among the bookshelves. Hopefully she still had time to nudge together that couple from earlier. And then she was going to send an important text.