I had been thirteen, nearly fourteen, when I finally found the address of my father, from following the map and a very crumbled up piece of paper…

I finally smiled in relief.

Sadly, I had found out back then, that I could have run away earlier from the last place, because I had some money left over, but how was I to know back then that the smaller trip back to the capital wouldn’t cost as much as the longer trip?

I had felt a bit stupid after I finally thought about it, but I couldn’t turn back time to run away earlier! As it was, running at that time was a great opportunity and I can’t remember a time like that of a month or two beforehand…So, who knows, even if I knew I could leave earlier, I might have stayed till when I originally left anyway…

I wish, to all my stupidity, that I could kick myself hard in the bottom though, like Edna used to do to me…But, my bottom would be pretty sore…Well, that and I couldn’t hit myself in the bottom…

I sighed, I used to laugh at my jokes, as they were the only things that entertained me and kept me from going insane…It had only been recently, now that I’m with a clan of wolves, that I could start letting myself laugh at myself once again…

 

Nonetheless, I had indeed made it to the address, only to be told that it wasn’t the residence of my father, ‘Brendon Ball’.

I had tried to talk to the strange woman that had come to the door and stated my full name, stating that I had come from a long distance. I even asked them if they knew my father and where he had gone, but the lady who came before me, and the steward who opened the door, simply stated, “That person, is not here! Move along and don’t come back!”

They then shut the door in my face, and I remember abruptly falling to the floor and starting to cry.

Having nothing and no one…What could I have done?

Back then, I had already felt like I’d lived a life time and just wanted to find my family! How could they leave me at the doorstep without giving me some kind of information!?

I knocked on the door then, stating that I had no where else to go, that this was the only thing I had of my father and that they had to help me! Anything, any type of news would have been enough, but they continued to ignore me!

Was he in the capital still? Did he move outside? Was my father even still alive? Surely, they must be able to know something!

Yet…No one was moved to the crying pleas of my younger self all those years ago…

It was only just the beginning of me realizing that people could be harsh, that they could be nasty to a point that would make an innocent think that they are undeserving and are nothing but trash!

 

***

 

By the time I had finally got the strength to move on, because I was threatened to be forced to be sold, I sniffed and held back more tears and got up unsteadily from the ground.

Turning, having felt like I had no strength, I ended up bumping into someone and just fell down again, having not stabilized myself enough.

“Kendra?”

Hearing my name, I found a new spark for life and I instantly turned into the little girl I had forgotten about for some time. “Daddy?”

In no time at all, my father swooped me into his arms, as he had kneeled upon the ground, and hugged me tight. He had told me later, that seeing me there, at his residence at that time, had made him feel like he had just seen a miracle!

He had desperately tried to search for me, having spent an extra two months away from his work and home, but had never seen me. After he came back home, he had employed two people to search, who were still searching for his long-lost daughter even then…

 

“I tried looking for you but never found you! Where were you!? Why did you not come here earlier?” My father spouted many questions to me, and I suddenly felt glad that I had come all this way!

His voice showed me his attention, his hands, that were tightly holding me, showed me his feelings…It had been awhile that I had felt that special…

I had cried and hugged him back, I think I was really happy to see him like this…Caring for me so openly…

“I ran out of money to return, I’m sorry Daddy, but look, I’m here, I made it! Isn’t that good!?”

My father immediately took me in and tried to do what was best for me…I grew to realize this later…But, for me back then, I didn’t know why he ended up completely ignoring me…

Straight away, two ladies had been completely against me to stay within my father’s residence, even when my father admitted fully that I was his child.

…My life…I had thought briefly that it had finally gotten better. Having lost Edna, I had not felt happy until I saw my father, but that happiness was shattered almost instantly…

 

 

Not only because my existence was kept as somewhat a secret, but being there at all, seemed to be too much for both of my father’s wives and they had uttered that I could not stay…Especially because my father had not told them about me…For as far as they had been aware, I had died along with my mother that day I had first been born…

After a long drilling few hours of women that I didn’t know, fighting with my father and I standing to the side, the women seemed to have come to a conclusion…

Not having any idea when I was young, I found out later that they demanded that my father ignore me and that I was to take the place as a worker, instead of having the status of his daughter…

It was their bargaining chip, apparently, for me to stay there and stay alive. And since my father no longer had his nanny to help me, and no one else that he trusted to keep me safe, he had no other choice but to comply. At least, he had said, if I was in his residence, he could keep an eye on me as much as possible…I suppose it took me years to realize that he had watched me a lot. He had wanted to interfere and do something many times, but since I was still alive and not in a life and death situation, he could only clench his hands and endure, just as I had too…

I don’t want to think much of what happened, as it is not good memories. But I do know that I was far from being happy. I was far from being treated with respect and that of my father’s daughter, and to a certain degree, my younger self got confused through this. No longer was I something that made my father smile…No longer was I something that seemed to matter to anybody…

It was like…I had never left that place that had taken me by force to work…

…I lost my self-confidence and really did start to think that I deserved to be treated that way, accepting my fate. My half-brother’s and sisters didn’t play with me and I had no one to talk to, making me start to talk to myself in mumbles…

 

I found out that I was the youngest of four children, my elder brother was born from the first wife, his name was Lynx. Since the first wife’s creature, who wasn’t very strong, was a fox, it seemed that my elder brother had also become one. He hadn’t known until a year before I came into the house, and that made him five years older then I.

My next eldest sibling was the daughter of the second wife, who’s creature was a bear, but the daughter had become a heron creature, like that of my father. My eldest half sister’s name was Juliet and she was aged sixteen when I had arrived at my father’s place. My other elder half sister was the daughter from the first wife, and she ended up being a fox, when her creature came out of her at aged eighteen, taking over her mother like her elder blood brother…Her name was Siena…And she always was getting me into trouble!

Already I had been reduced to that of someone that did chores for the Ball family, even though I was part of the family. I woke up earlier and went to bed after dinner, completely exhausted…It really was like I had never left that place beforehand and come to search for my father…Except, it was worse!

Siena always found fault with my work, making me have to repeat a job countless times and then give me even more work to do so that sometimes I would miss my dinner and only have a couple of hours sleep, before I would wake again to work the next day.

On the other hand, Lynx ignored me, and Juliet said nasty things to me.

My younger self asked what she had done wrong, as she thought she would be gaining a family, but no hope sprouted from the first day that I had arrived.

…It really was…Horrible…

 

***

 

Over the next couple of years, before I turned eighteen, I at least was able to learn more reading and other things in secret, such as cultivation, but I can’t remember much other good things…

I remember the little place I stayed, later finding out that it had been remade from when my mother had stayed there, so I had tried to keep that in my mind. But…My eyes and ears heard and saw many things…

At that time, I was still new to the way of this way of life and had no idea, but now…Now I believe that living in a place that has people that want to scorn you and make life hard for you is not living the life that I want now. I never want to be in the position again where I am part of the family by blood, but never recognized in public. I never again want to feel like family could actually be my enemies and that I would be better off without them…

With my siblings detesting me and making my life hard, I had tried to ignore them to the best of my capabilities but whatever I did never seemed to be enough or let me off from the continuous ways...

 

With each punishment, I decided that my siblings weren’t nice people. With each drop of blood, that escaped from my overworked hands or other wounds, I decided that my siblings were bad, shameless people. With each stagger and limp, I decided that I might have been better instead to have never come and know my family…That my gratitude for even living, was slowly dwindling into nothing…Then, with each day, week, year, I decided to finally put my emotions into cultivation instead.

…Without even a teacher, I cultivated my emotions and found myself ready to enter Creature Realm by the time I was fifteen, unable to do anything more until I was eighteen.

Having given up a long time ago, to be friends with my half siblings, I had tried to feel lucky, just like Edna had shown me, but it was becoming harder and harder everyday and all I became grateful for…Was that I had a roof over my head and had food to eat…

It really was a lonely time in my life, making me retreat a lot into my shell…Making me also believe that perhaps this isn’t my family anymore…That they are just people, people that took me in and I work for them for food and a place to stay.

It was when I finally turned eighteen…That I believed I could stay there in my father’s residence and would be able to obtain a much better life…Because I wanted to believe that my creature would help with that…

I had waited so long to become strong, and had a lot of hope that life could have changed…

What I never expected, was that my creature was something that brought even more disaster to my already terrible life!

 

***

 

When one comes of the age of eighteen, and has cultivated the Physical Realm, then to graduate to the next level on their birthday, it is normal to ‘Break oneself apart’.

In this painful process, one has to keep their physical state with their body as much as possible. The ‘Creature Realm’ is to bring forth the creature that has been residing inside of you, yet no one is able to contact and know of which creature it is until you let them out.

In order to accomplish this, many ways have been used, yet all of them seem to inflict pain.

Some do it while running, as to help prevent losing any type of physical strength, while others tend to meditate, take pills or use a family member to help ‘pull’ out the creature that is inside.

I did not have any family member willing to help me achieve this process, nor did I not really know how to do it, since I was unable to use any of the family books.

My father still ignored me, yet I felt his eyes upon me sometimes. My siblings continued to make things hard upon me, but I had already gone to the point of never asking them for help over anything anyway.

So…When I felt that it was time to bring my creature out, all I could do is screech in agony and try to feel what I’m supposed to do naturally or instinctively.

 

I had tensed up my body, I still remember it plain as day…I had lost a bit of my physical strength, the first time that I had pulled out my creature…

It had hurt so much that to this day, I cringe and heave in a long breath.

In the end, I had taken five days to finally bring out my creature…Five days…

Averagely, I takes up to two days, but I heard even three days wasn’t really rare, just uncommon…But for me, someone who had no idea on what they were doing, had to endure agonizing pain for five days, without any help and no food or water.

Having started when I was working, I didn’t even feel that I was dragged to my house and left alone for much of this time…I was too heavily drawn to the pain and trying to get this process over and done with!

Having reached inside my body, burning myself in the process, I made many blunders, simply because I was too scared and afraid!

I should have tried not to think of the pain and just did it!

The second time I had taken my creature out, it had been a lot easier and I finished within the day. But the first time…It was something that I could never forget!

What had surprised me, all that time ago, was when I pulled my creature out…The house I was in, burnt into ashes, and when I opened my eyes, I saw a whole new world…

 

Each time one finds their creature, the accomplishment is different. If one is a fox, they are covered with tails and they slowly disappear to finally state the finish of the change when there is only one tail left. If one person has the creature of a mosquito, blood is formed out the person’s body, like it had hatched out of it or something, and then the finish of the change is when the blood has been taken into the mosquito. If one were not able to actually become one with their creature, the creature would then take nearly half of the person’s physical body to be able to start growing beside them. Then, as they continue to break apart from one another, the person can watch as their creature starts to grow from a tiny little spec, into a larger one that could end up as big as a puppy…

If one is the rare and grand Phoenix…A rainbow goes across the sky, not knowing where it starts and ends because it is so big, and fire comes out of nowhere. This rainbow, in this time, had started on the third day of my painful change, lasting until my creature had finally finished appearing on the fifth day. Also, the Phoenix will be engulfed in the flames and when the change is complete, the rainbow will disappear, and the flames extinguish.

…And that was what I saw…

I had immediately flapped my wings, seeing them as a unique golden color, and looked at my bird like feet with claws.

At this moment, I was only small because I had not cultivated my creature at all, but I was still the size of a swan. Being this size, upon just finish changing to my creature for the first time, was the start of the talk that began going around.

But what really amazed and astonished many others…Was that my creature was the legendary Phoenix!

Before my creature surfaced, I thought life was already hard and I was really hoping life would be easier upon cultivation to ‘Creature Realm’ but…Never did I realize how absolutely wrong I was!

 

My father, I found out later, had people to try to keep this news of the Phoenix from spreading, in order to protect me, but it was of no use. For how much money he earns, he was only able to obtain a few that would do his biding and it simply wasn’t enough!

The wives took a strange turn to promote my creature, but my siblings only showed more hatred to the golden bird looking creature in the distance from their house.

As the siblings hated and envied me, my step mothers already tried to come up with plans to use me and my creature to their greatest capabilities and even had the rare moment of coming together as one, to speak of this together.

But…Before preparations could be made to even think of who they could marry me off too and how much money they would get in return…

…Nothing would have changed the next outcome, and that’s because of the rainbow…

The rainbow had alerted a particular man and that man was the Mosquito King…And as he got closer, he sniffed my blood and was determined to get this creature under him! He had waited eighteen years! The time had finally come!

…And surprisingly, enslaving me up as a servant and making me his master…Had worked!

Suddenly…I had a master…

Far away, a connection was then broken, and a particular lone dragon was unable to know what had happened…

 

***