Ch. 53 – Girls Night Out
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POV: Eva

"And now that the introduction session is over with the death of the DMPC..."

"Eva, I wanted to ask", Marwyn interrupts me, "don't you think that you overdid that? That was supposed to be an introductory escort quest and running into a multi-headed dragon as the first random encounter was a bit much."

"Remember how you talked to all of the townspeople and they warned you that there were recent dragon sightings?"

"Guys, I'm afraid she has a point", concedes Neena.

Ted is still discontent, "We were level 1! There shouldn't have been a world-ending disaster next to the starting town."

"The dragon was asleep! I extra changed it to a nocturnal dragon but you went and woke it up intentionally!"

"I don't see anything wrong with what we did."

"Ted, you're an idiot..."

I know he is your little brother, Dave, but did we really have to add Ted? The previous campaign without him was much less stressful.

"Anyway, as you retreat from the near TPK, you encounter a fork in the road."

"Uh, can I try to pick it up?"

"Uh, sure, Ted. Give me a DC17 dex check."

"Let's see..."

He rolls his dice.

"I got an 18, so... 15. Crap."

"Fine. So you try to grab the fork..."

multiple dice noises

"As you enter the fork-threatened area, it springs to life and stabs you for 3 slashing and 4 psychological damage."

"What? But it is just a fork!"

"Didn't I say it was an encounter?"

"After the potion mimic, coin mimic and gazebo I should've seen this coming... *sigh* I have 3 HP left."

"Gotcha."

Neena finishes looking something up on her phone, "Eva, can it be that you're taking out your frustration on us about Mike dumping you? Our group is at least 4 levels too low to take on a Hell Fork. It is a Hell Fork, right?"

"That's just a lesser one. This is level appropriate."

"Those are even worse! Have you really looked at their statblock? Those are certified noob killers!"

"...are they? ...what's so bad about... oh, shit, that skill. Yeah, you're right. *sigh* Sorry, everyone. Yeah, I may be a bit off after Mike... Wanna continue anyway? Just without any of that monster's skills."

Marwyn agrees, "I'm fine with that."

Everyone else nods.

"Well, Dave, you're up next. What do you do?"

"Does my character recognize this creature?"

"Not sure. Let's say DC12."

"Okay, dice don't let me down."

more dice noises

"That's a 9, so 11 total. Yeah, I got nothing. Uh, I use my healing hand to prevent Ted from going down. Plus 5 HP for him. Don't waste them, buddy."

"Thanks, bro."

"Now, who's next in order..."

knock knock

"...just my luck. We manage ONCE a year to get a day off to play a round together and of course, we get interrupted. *sigh* Yes, who is it?"

"It's Aaron. I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

"Yes, you are. Wanna join?"

"Sorry, I'm on duty. That is also the reason why I've looked for you, Eva."

"Forget it, today is my only day off this year. I'm not doing any work today that can wait."

"I'm afraid this can't wait."

clack

clack

Aaron has put handcuffs on me, "Eva, you're under arrest."

"Eva, what is going on?"

"I've no idea either, Dave. Aaron, what the hell are you doing?"

"Eva, there are several heavy accusations targeting you. You can either come along peacefully or add resisting arrest to the list. What shall it be?"

"Can I at least hear the false accusations that are placed on me?"

"If you are okay with your friends hearing them as well."

"Sure, why not. They can tell you immediately that the charges make no sense."

"Eva, I don't have the authority to let you go, no matter what they say. You know me, we're friends. I believe that those accusations are wrong, but I still have to follow any lead. If you three have anything to add you're cordially invited to act as counter-witnesses."

He shuffles through his back and brings out a sheet of paper.

"Well, you asked for it. First, you supposedly have helped with the creation of at least three irregular calamity class demon lords."

"I admit to the creation of one demon lord, and that was an error in the paperwork and was reported as soon as we found out about it. To my knowledge that one was dealt with before it became a bigger problem. Apart from that one, I know of no further demon lords that came to be outside of regulations."

"You have to take that up with the judge, I know only what is written here."

He takes some notes.

"Then you're supposedly involved with the disappearance of several other devas and high devas."

"I know of nothing. Well, aside from the bits told in the news."

"Trust me, I know as much as you do about that."

"So what? Do I now need to prove that I'm innocent? Have we gone back to these barbaric times?"

"No, on the contrary, there are pieces of evidence hinting towards your involvement."

"Aaron, if all of that is an elaborate joke, it is not funny."

"I know you have... issues with following orders to the letter, but I assure you that all necessary pre-checks were conducted. So next one... One of the previously considered missing high devas was somehow found dead, that is also pinned on you."

"That is flat-out impossible. You know as much as I do, that a regular deva can't harm a higher one."

"And yet Tephi was found dead and the divination tools didn't dispute your involvement."

"Bullshit. The tools must have been tampered with, I did none of the things you've said so far!"

"Sorry, Eva, I wasn't present during those preparations. I'm just a low-level grunt in the bureaucratic machine of madness."

"So, what's the next insane accusation? Have I somehow invented time travel and displaced the true creator of existence with a pawn of my choice!?"

"Close, you're accused of an ongoing effort to kill the big leader Todo. By the way, yesterday, he passed away."

"Todo is dead!? That... that can't be..."

"And yet the impossible has happened."

"That... makes no sense..."

Aaron writes more notes.

"The remaining accusations are trifles like improper paperwork, regularly arriving late and... misrepresenting the afterlife options for clients with negative karma? That's oddly specific."

"I admit to the last point, but none of the others. I was always on time and my paperwork was several times awarded for best in the department."

"I know that, you bragged about it multiple times."

"Wait, let me guess... it was Alex who brought false these wrong accusations? He didn't take well to Gzeph's disobedience and since he was not available, Alex let his frustration out on me."

"I can neither confirm nor deny that."

"So that is a yes. Speaking of, do you know anything about how Gzeph is doing in custody? They won't tell me anything since I'm not family but you might have insider info."

"Sorry, I'm not allowed to tell you *whispers* that he has escaped."

Gzeph is on the run? What is going on now...

"Fine, I'll come along to see what nonsense 'evidence' they have forged."


POV: L̸͈̑ù̶̥c̸̹͑i̶̐ͅa̷͖͠

What is this place... it is dark, cold... lonely...

Is this... what death is like?

...

Jared, why...

Why couldn't...

...

Primary effect of [Undead Bait] activated.

You stupid skill, why was I cursed with you? What sins have I committed to deserve you!? You've caused me nothing but trouble! How much more harm do you want to do to me? Can't you at least let me rest in peace?

...

Strange, my heart seems to still be beating... Does that mean I'm not dead yet?

...

For a while, nothing else happens and I get further lost in my thoughts.

Your divine class "Holy Maiden" is about to be removed.

I... didn't want that anyway. I didn't choose it, it chose me and we... never got along.

sigh

Maybe now I'm allowed to be myself? ...for what little good that does to a dead person...

It is to be replaced by "Cursed Queen".

At least you're finally honest with the names you give me.

ERROR: divine class "Cursed Queen" already in use.
Producing a new copy for you...
You have obtained the divine class "Cursed Queen(copy)".
Outside of divine scrutiny, it will appear the same as the regular "Cursed Queen" class.

What is that supposed to mean?

...

Due to the effect of the newly acquired divine class's skills, your titles will change.

What are you up to?

Urgh!

What is this pain!? It feels like my soul is ripped apart!

Existing title "Stubborn" was deleted.

Tears start to roll down my face...

Existing title "Impish" was deleted.

Pain... too much pain... make it... stop...

I just... can't stop crying... it is... too painful...

Existing title "Master Crafter" was deleted.

N-no, not that one! Please... give it back! I worked all my life to get that! I... only got it two years ago... it took... ten years...

...

Not even... in death can I be my own person... my self was always denied...

...

The pain still goes on. Everything grows colder.

My heart... has stopped...

Despite that, I'm still here?

...

I check my new titles. 'World Resident'? 'Demon'? 'Happily Married'? What are those? Why do I have them...

ERROR: you can no longer hold production jobs but you currently still own "Smith" and "Nun".

CRACK

The pain somehow gets even worse... someone... please... make it stop...

Searching for non-production alternatives to incompatible classes...
Found "Battle Smith" as replacement for "Smith".
Results for "Nun" are indecisive...

Why... why do you torture me like this? None of this matters anymore. I'm DEAD.

Considering "Cleric", "Devote" or "Priest"...

No, shove it! I don't want any of those! I never wanted to be a nun or holy maiden or any of that shit! I want to be ME. I was born as a smith, I enjoyed my work. If I wasn't dead I would very much like to continue my craft.

SO. LEAVE. ME. ALONE!

Your decision is accepted.
Choosing "Fallen Saint" as replacement instead.

FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!

...

Finally, the pain subsides and after some more time, the nothingness is replaced by an unfamiliar, blurry sight.

Welcome home, Demon Lord Lucia Delacroix.
I didn't want to leave the previous chapter on a cliffhanger for half a week, so this chapter is a few days earlier than usual. In exchange, there'll only be one chapter next week.

Just as a bit of extended world-building that probably won't ever be relevant: regular devas could be considered demi-gods, mortals that ascended to the position. High devas would then be full gods.

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