Ch. 79 – E1#d_$
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While waiting my exp has gone up by 7. I guess this means our test worked, kinda? If it was from that, the output was very poor.

Everyone else has gone for dinner.

A while later, Elly returns.

She cheerfully announces, "Hiya, I'm back!"

"No, let me guess. You could create the needed bottles but your damage output was much poorer than expected."

"On point... barely 2000 to 2400 damage total per throw. As you could expect from the skill description, the affected area is much smaller than for your area spells. I think my best cocktail hit 12 enemies."

"Well, at least we know it works. Can you show me such a bottle, Elly? I want to check if we can abuse it in other ways."

"Sorry, I'm out of SP, used the rest for some regular bow shots. But if you want to know, this was its item description."

Spirit Bottle
A simple bottle with a volume of 300 ml.
Should it be destroyed, its remains will disappear.
Please don't capture fairies with this.

She continues, "Really, it just was a normal glass bottle, nothing special to it."

"According to the description, we can't recycle them but it doesn't say anything about a duration. Do me a favor, the next time you have 30 SP left, please create such a bottle, fill it with water, and then we'll see how long it lasts."

"And if it lasts indefinitely what do you want to use it for?"

"Dunno, storage?"

"...and here I thought you had another crazy idea. At least it isn't another wolf cuddling session."

"Stop reminding me of that."

"Yeah, yeah. So what's the plan now?"

"I think we'll make the third spirit an army type and give it the Alchemist class. A spirit with just a single class won't make a difference in the dungeon but the area damage of six, soon seven, wannabe grenadiers should at least generate some exp each day from the flood. But we'll wait until Lucia is back from dinner."

"Then I'd suggest replacing the Alchemist class with the proper Grenadier. It has the same [Fire Bomb] skill but 1 point more of DEX per level. The second skill sucks though."

Grenadier
Growth Rates
40 HP, 17 MP, 46 SP, 6 STR, 8 DEX, 4 VIT, 7 MAG, 2 FTH, 3 WIL, 2 CHA
 
Fire Bomb
200 SP, 1 bottle or vial
Turn the bottle or vial into an explosive that lasts for 5 seconds.
When either the time is up or it gets thrown against an enemy or solid surface it explodes for (60% DEX + 60% MAG) physical fire damage in a 5x5 DU area.
 
Bomb Expertise <Skill locked until Level 5>
Passive
Increase the skill level of Grenade and Bomb skills by half of this skill's level.
 
<Skill locked until Level 15>

"I think skill level does exactly nothing for [Fire Bomb], so that's why you wanted Alchemist instead?"

"Correct. We go with this class instead?"

"Yeah, that seems more useful for a spirit that is unlikely to reach level 5 while it still matters."

"Good. Now, until Lucia returns can we check which second race I can take after the title?"

"Sure, why not."

We check through the options for a while until Lucia is finally back from dinner. She had no human food today, only human food, otherwise, she better had invited me as well.

She asks, "Ah, Elly is back, how did it go?"

Elly answers, "It worked. The damage was just as disappointing as voting for a warmonger and expecting world peace."

Lucia asks, "Okay, so do we still go with the Alchemist group or do you have a new plan?"

"We replace Alchemist with Grenadier, but overall it is the same idea, I just can't think of anything better given the restrictions and circumstances. So no objections? That are 500 MP we will never get back."

"Eh, I've already come to terms with using basically all of my MP just to get Elly out of my hair. If that group pulls its weight I don't mind."

"Gotcha. So what did we say again... Grenadier... dwarf, sub-race Iron Fiend... and then later we add the Arcane Cyborg race, is that right?"

Lucia agrees, "That sounds correct."

Elly too, "Yeah."

There, done, stat preview.

Name N/A
Age N/A
Classes Grenadier 2
Race Iron Fiend (Dwarf) 2
Extra Spirit (Army Type) 2
HP 924/924
MP 292/292
SP 1155/1155
STR 198+2
DEX 242
VIT 132
MAG 176
FTH 44
WIL 110
CHA 66
Equipment Spirit Rifle
Skills Fire Bomb 2, Gun Training 2
Hard Worker 2, Stamina Boost 2, Summoned Spirit 2
Weakness Wind

Looks good. I'd like 20 more levels on it but that isn't an option currently.

Uh, where's the finalize button gone to?

...

The edit window is gone?

...

I hear a muffled voice, "Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross-"

"Continue this sentence, Elly, and you'll find out whether the off switch still works for you."

"Lucia, he's with us again!"

I'm feeling a headache...

"Awake? How? What did I miss? And what the hell is this purple pudding doing there?"

A shivering slimy mass that barely looks like a person stands in the room. Its lower end lacks feet and instead ends in a puddle of more grime.

Did the system glitch out and replace my newly designed spirit with this blob? Great, just what I needed...

Lucia addresses the issue, "Uh, you suddenly went motionless while putting the third spirit together, as if you were completely lost in thought. We tried to wake you but-"

Elly interrupts, "I didn't find any marker to draw on your face with before you ask."

A strange voice can be heard, "Eht laog si ot yortsed uoy?"

I guess that was the slime thing.

Lucia continues, "Ah-hem, well, whatever happened, suddenly Lydia was here."

"Who the hell is Lydia?"

"This pink slime person here. Isn't she 'cute'? I want to", her voice drops two octaves, "crush her to pieces and throw the remains into an incinerator."

If I had to guess, this... Lydia understood what was said but we can't understand... uh, her. She started shaking even more and gesturing with her noodle arms.

I have no idea what is going on...

Let's start with the obvious, what is this blob?

Name E1#d_$
Age N/A
Status unable to move
Classes V̴̳͊i̶͔͝l̸̼̐l̴̡̔a̵̭̒g̴̪̈e̶͍̽r̸̫̄ 7, Vampire Hunter 7, Blood Mage 7, D̷̗͌e̷̼̾f̴̟̏ị̸̔l̷̻̒e̴̯̓r̷̢͑ ̶̮̕B̷̟̌r̷͓̆o̶͚͋o̵͍̊d̷̳̓m̸̧̚ö̶̭ț̴̊h̷̦͂e̸͔̔r̷̠̄ 7, Drake Wolf 7
Race Winged Devil 7, Primordial Soup 7, Tainted 7
Extra S̵̱̑p̵͕͠í̷͉r̷͙̚ȉ̷̠t̵̤͘ 7, F̷̺͒l̴̜̚o̴̦̅ò̷̘r̸̗͋ 8, Silver Elf 7
HP 3079/3079
MP 1358/1358
SP 2723/2723
STR 680+7
DEX 0 [-40]
VIT 431
MAG 388
FTH 257
WIL 297
CHA 0 [-15]
Equipment Ṉ̷̅U̸̩͂L̵͕͆Ḷ̵̇
Skills Acid Spray 7, Blood Burst 7, Cure Magic 7 (Rank 1), Curse Hand 7, Dragon Breath 7, Fire Magic 7 (Rank 1), Sanguine Wave 7
Blessed Weapon 7, Wings 7
Create Egg 7
Acid Puddle 7, Acid Skin 7, Death Curse 7, Detect Undeath 7, Hammer Arm 7, Low Profile 14, Physical Resistance 7, Stealth 7, Wall 8
S̸͓̾u̷̲͌m̴̡͗m̵̞̏ō̵̗n̷̩̒ë̴̠́d̷̩̀ ̵̣̓Ŝ̸͚p̵̪̃i̶͚͘r̴̤̈ĭ̶͉t̸̑͜ 7
Weakness Fire, Ice, Lightning, Wind, Water, Earth, Poison, Light, Dark, Holy, Copper

Funny, now give me the correct stats, I'm not THAT hang-over.

...

Shit. That kinda looks like my handwriting after a pub crawl.

Wait, since when are my summons level seven? Shouldn't they still be level six?

A mystery for later. But one of her extra classes is level eight instead, this makes no sense with what I know.

"Lucia, how do you get from E one something to 'Lydia'?"

Elly cuts in, "Don't bother. It is just a quirk of the automatic translation. Whatever mess of a name she has for us is different to what Lucy sees, and in her native language it is just closer to 'Lydia' than for us."

Lucia is confused, "Is it? I didn't know that we were speaking different languages."

Elly responds, "Not quite. We are kinda 'speaking' the same language. But what we hear and read is translated into our language for us. What we say is translated into your language even before our mouths start moving."

"The details don't matter, you can discuss philosophy later. Now, is this our new summoned spirit? What happened to the one I made earlier?"

Elly says, "Uh, depends on how you define 'spirit'. She is... something at least, and most importantly not hostile."

Lucia explains, "Well, at least as far as the condition for the Summon Master title is concerned, she counts. I took the liberty to add it while you were out. Umm, twice. The first time... it became gibberish."

"I guess that is one of the unread system messages..."

Summon Master
You can add 1 additional base job class to your summoned spirits.
Additionally, race classes no longer add to upkeep costs.

That one seems to work as advertised, the upkeep costs have indeed gone down.

Wait a second. Who pays for Lydia? Even with that title, she should cost at least 2500 MP, more if those extras count. Lucia doesn't have that much MP, even if she didn't have to account for Elly. And my MP is only down the 500 for Maria.

"Did I miss anything else? I don't see how her upkeep cost is paid."

"No, we did not marry another one during your nap, don't even think about it."

Elly answers, "Just check her skills. SHE. IS. FREE!"

"What?"

Most of her skills are blocked because of spirit restrictions. That leaves...

Acid Puddle
Passive
Can turn your body into acid or liquid slime, and then travel through slime, acids, sand and soft ground unimpeded.

Not what answers this puzzle.

Death Curse
Passive
When killed through any means that is not pure holy elemental damage,
you inflict 500% MAG dark magic damage to your killer.
If there is none, inflict the damage instead to the last creature that attacked you which is still alive.
This damage cannot be evaded.

Also wrong. I just hope that this doesn't make her unnecessarily suicidal.

Create Egg
2500 SP
Create (skill level) eggs.
After 30 seconds each egg gives birth to a swarm of Defiler monsters of level (skill level).
Defilers are hostile to everyone that isn't a Defiler themselves.
At skill level 10 the Defilers are upgraded to elites.

Might be nice for some bonus exp once I can use [Life Eater Armor]. But maybe I should feel bad for even considering killing the babies of my summoned spirit?

Well, I've more pressing issues right now.

Wall
Passive
Can't move by normal means.

...

Ş̴͊u̵̲͛m̵̜̈́m̸̮͛o̷̰̓ṉ̵̈́ḙ̵̍d̸̐͜ ̷̟̐S̸̟̊p̶̮̀i̶͚͊r̵͉̽ī̸̬t̵̝͑
Passive
Loyalty and f̶e̸a̶r̸ towards summoner are always maxed out.
The upkeep cost your summoner pays for you is increased by -100%.
Can create equipment (no stat increases) unless relevant training skill is present, this costs 30 SP per piece.
Can't use active skills containing 'o', 's', 'u' or '1' in their name.
Can't use skills that create more beings.
Lose 1 a̷̩̅p̶̞̕p̸̥̑l̷̘͋e̷̼͒ ̵͇͠ṕ̸̟i̴͔͠e̸̦͛ per second while not bound to a summoner.
For purpose of exp mechanics count as part of the summoner.
While not actively summoned recover 1 HP, MP and SP per hour.

And there it is. No upkeep but everything else is trash.

What was the original skill again?

Summoned Spirit
Passive
Loyalty to summoner is always maxed out.
Can create equipment (no stat increases) if relevant training skill is present, this costs 30 SP per piece.
Can't use magic or magic-related skills.
Can't use skills that create more beings.
Lose 50 HP per second while not bound to a summoner.
For purpose of exp mechanics count as part of the summoner.
While not actively summoned recover 5% HP, MP and SP per hour.

So if we choose wisely she could even learn magic? ...how does that even work with the translated language? That's a problem for later. Sorry, future!Jared, and greetings from past!Jared.

"Okay, okay, I think we can work with that. But since she has already five classes, which exceeds what should be allowed currently, does that mean even Chloe can add an additional class and we don't have to add more classes to Maria or Elly?"

Elly is sad, "Hey! You promised..."

"Sorry, didn't mean it that way. I meant we could postpone that for a while until we have more MP. Given your plan, there's not much point to adding the other two classes yet until we can add an elite class."

Lucia adds, "I'd say we should give her the two classes anyway. I'm not using my MP for much currently."

"We could give Maria a second class as well and then you could take both of them for now. That way I have enough MP for three rain casts. Well, assuming the next stage isn't immune to rain again. No offense, Elly, but currently you make no dent into our exp needs. Last week I got about 700 exp per rain, your entire arsenal today gave us not even 10."

Elly is angry with me, "If you're so against me getting more classes, you can just as well go back to creating the grenadier squad..."

While she says that, I check the notifications I missed earlier. There's a really bad one among them...

"Or we don't do anything, Elly. Like at all... Look at this message I got while I was out."

ERROR: spirit creation failed, target soul area is corrupted.
Soul is heavily contaminated with monster essence.
It is urgently suggested to avoid further modifications of the soul.
SUGGESTION: for at least a year do not add any classes, titles or spirits until the contamination has dissipated
CURRENT RUN TIME: 00:17:33

"That's a first...", says Elly.

"You know what that is?"

"Not really. But if I had to guess it was the logical outcome of your little taming experiment."

Lucia asks, "So that was the reason the first Summon Master title broke? Should I not have taken it?"

"Seems like it. Wait, I didn't even look what the glitched one became..."

S̶̬̓u̸̖̿m̵̲͑ḿ̴̪o̷͉͛n̶̫͐ ̶̖͆M̸̢̆ạ̸̈́s̷̖͛t̸̪͑e̸̙̅r̵̤̊
Increase the level of your summoned spirits by 1.
Restore HP from cat damage.

Okay, that explains the higher level. Could've been much worse.

"Not quite a circlet. Sorry, Elly, but considering how that title turned out, I'd rather wait with adding classes to you. We still have 4 title slots left, so a wasted title barely hurts us but classes... we have a very strict limit there and every single one counts."

"Yeah, I understand..."

Lucia sounds concerned, "Uh, does that include additional races? I may have already added them to Maria and Elly while you were out."

"...yes? Yes, it would. Elly doesn't look any different, how did they turn out?"

Elly answers, "I lived."

Name Elly
Age N/A
Classes Archer 7, Alchemist 7
Race Valkyrie 7, Arke 7
Extra Spirit 7
HP 1019/1288
MP 473/662
SP 10/1605
STR 278+7 (either weapon)
DEX 340
VIT 217
MAG 137
FTH 191
WIL 177
CHA 136
Equipment Spirit Bow, Spirit Spear
Skills Bow Training 7, Spear Training 7
Fire Bomb 7, Healing Flask 7
Wings 14
Intimidation 7, Restless 7, Stamina Boost 7, Stealth 7, Summoned Spirit 7
Weakness Lightning, Dark

Nothing looks out of place here. At least she got the planned level increase for [Wings] making flight a bit cheaper and [Stamina Boost] that gives her much more SP.

I'll have to check Maria later since she isn't here. I hope nothing is wrong with her either. At least, neither Lucia nor Elly said anything about anyone screaming in terror.

"Fine, we got lucky there. And you, Lydia, do you have anything to add?"

Lydia says... something, "Nac uoy, ekil, ton llik em niaga, esaelp?"

"You must be so much fun at parties."

She starts shivering and then sinks into the ground widening the slimed area. After a moment she reappears from a spot in the puddle far away from me and the goo puddle shrinks again to a small area around her.

I guess that was her [Acid Puddle] skill at work bypassing her 'can't move' restriction. She is mobile, kinda, it would just be too slow for combat.

Lydia raises her noodle arms as if she was trying to defend herself from someone.

"What's wrong? Are you afraid of me? I haven't done anything to you."

She just 'looks' at me questioningly. So much for her understanding us.

I look at the mess she left behind on the ground when she moved around. The maids will 'love' cleaning that mess up...

I point at the slime left behind, "It seems our pet isn't housebroken yet. Elly, can you-"

Just as I say it, Lydia 'calls' the leftover stains to her and absorbs them. Once she's done she stands proud, arms crossed, and nods.

"...so much for that. By the way, you missed a spot there", I point at a stain she missed, "Could you be a goo~d girl and clean that up as well?"

Lydia looks at it then slumps down. With what looks like a frown, she cleans up the remaining sludge.

Elly asks, "So, what did you want from me, Jared?"

"Can you do the same thing you did to Maria? Copy a part of your memory or personality or whatever you had done to her? I hope she can learn the common language that way."

Lucia is elated, "That sounds like a splendid idea! Do it, Elly!"

Elly responds full of disgust, "Eh... no. I'd rather not touch this slimy mess."

"Elly, please. This is important. You can take a bath afterwards if you want."

"Ugh, fine... Unsummon us both and I'll have a look."

"Got it."

We cancel the summon of both spirits and they disappear as usual, most of the sludge is gone as well. Most of it. I'm not cleaning that.

(So what does it look like, Elly?)

(I'm actually not sure...)

(Tel em tuo!)

(Be quiet, Lydia!), Lucia joins in, (Elly is trying to help you!)

(Tbuod taht...), this one sounded sadder.

Elly takes a while before reporting back, (Sorry, I can't help her. Her whole being is just... strange. Fragmented. If I didn't know better, I'd say I'm not looking at a spirit. Where the memory bank so to speak should be, is what looks like a fragment of a human's shattered soul glued to the rest with slime, monster spit and glitches. Some other parts aren't much better off.)

(Seod taht naem M'i laiceps?)

(I'm rather surprised she functions at all, Jared.)

(So much for that idea. Lucia, can you take Elly again?)

(Sure thing.)

We summon the two spirits again.

Elly says, "That was a waste of time."

Lydia tries to console her by patting her.

"And now I'm covered in slime... great, thanks, Lydia. Just, thanks."

"As I said, you can take a bath."

"Will do..."

Elly angrily leaves the room. Lydia tries to reach out to her, fails and then looks dejected.

I wonder why glitch creature Lydia's Blood Mage has [Sanguine Wave] as the second skill while I'm stuck with the bugged-out variant...

Sanguine Wave
200 MP
In a 10 DU diameter area target all non-allied creatures that carry blood in them.
Inflict 25% MAG non-elemental magic damage and stun at a rate of 15.
Triple damage and stun rate if the target is bleeding.

"...unfair. Well, I already have good options for area damage from MP, so not a loss either way."

"Uh, so what now, dear?", asks Lucia.

"Now? Nothing, Lucy. We'll tell the familiars that they can take seemingly up to five classes now if they want, but they should only do so while we're all together so we can check that my condition doesn't bleed through to them. After that, we'll need to wait 'a year' before we can make any bigger progress safely. So that means I'll spend a bit longer in the dungeon than the rest of our group. There's enough paperwork to check while I wait for regeneration, so it isn't a total waste."

"Why does it sound like I won't join you then?"

"Not sure that is a good idea. We have a finite supply of blood packs and no way to refill them. To timeout this issue I would already use around fifty for me alone, a hundred for us both."

"Then as your wife, I order you to take me along. We have six times that amount, we'll be fine, Jared."

"Are you sure? There will be mostly work involved."

"Oh, I don't think we'll get to do much... work."

I imagine that when you gain a title or skill you obtain a copy of the relevant instructions in roughly this form: {6, 0, 7, 200, 1}

The system would then interpret it. The first parameter tells it what type of skill it is, in this example, 6 would be a projectile attack and 0 tells it there are no further modifiers. 7 tells it to take the 7th parameter (MAG) and multiply it by 200% for damage to inflict damage type 1 (fire).

Now, when a glitch gets involved, one or more of these numbers get corrupted but this affects only your personal copy of the skill.

System updates can only change how these numbers are interpreted. Changing them would require messing directly with everyones' souls and as implied in a couple of previous chapters this is unlikely to end well.

The most they can do is take defective instructions and fix them like they did a few times for the [Undead] skill.

So...  E1#d_$ or "Lydia", what can I say about her? She may not be best girl but at least she should reach the rank of goo(d) girl. Sorry, not sorry.

All of her data is messed up. Primordial Soup is a monster class that ended in the race category, Silver Elf is a race that was falsely assigned to the extras, Floor is stuck at level 8, etc.

So why is she banned from skills with o,s,u or 1 in their names? I wanted to allow some magic but Dragon Breath, Cure and Space Magic should certainly be disallowed. And then it was just one caps-lock away from a reference. Also, the "Rank X" indicators are included in that check. Our group will have to learn how to reach spell rank 2 before she could use any magic.

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