So I was sent on this suicide mission to save a backwater world called Deteoh from some nebulous Demon Lord and I couldn't even figure out how to use the skills and spells I was gifted for this mission. Just great.

At least it was no problem to clobber the slime to death with a staff.

Maybe I'm in luck and every other monster also forgets how to attack, that would make my job way easier. Yeah, dream on. I really need to find a magic teacher...

Really, how hard can it be to shoot a simple fireball!? That's like THE beginner spell in these kinds of scenarios!!

The only skill I could get working was [Disguise] because Eva taught me about it while testing my new body. I used it to hide my fangs and change my hair color to a light brown; silver hair stands out way too much and I was warned that silver elves are likely to be extinct. As a stranger out of nowhere, I already draw enough attention, adding more because of imitating a fairy tale's central race would just invite trouble.

At least I managed to figure out how the inventory works. And there's so much stuff in there. Hundreds of potions of all kinds, a near-infinite supply of blood, food, water, towels, this...

I don't get it. They have overpowered stuff like this simply lying around, but they can't even give me a manual for the most basic skills...

While mulling over my situation, I reach a town near my starting location. There seems to be some commotion going on and no one pays any attention to me.

Right, the deva warned me that a monster horde would arrive soon. I guess they are aware of it and preparing to evacuate somewhere. I hope I can tag along.

Over there stands what looks like a guard arguing with two seemingly distressed children. A boy and a girl about ten years old if I had to guess.

They are as good a group to ask if I may come along as anyone else.

While walking over to them, I stumble over something. A small math notebook? This looks very out of place in this medieval-ish world. Too modern.

Hmm...

On its cover is "302" written and nothing else. I probably shouldn't look but I open it anyway.

Squared paper and every single page is the same. Every single square is filled with a five-tuple of tally marks. Most of them are written in black, but often one or two per page are in red.

What the hell could someone be counting to need that many marks!? That's gotta be about a million!

Clueless, I close the book and walk on.

I wait a moment until it looks like they are done, then I gather my courage and approach the guard and the two kids, "Um, excuse me?"

They stop arguing and the girl takes a moment to inspect me. At first, her eyes light up but then she frowns, "What do you want? Can't you see that we are in a hurry?!"

The guard tells them off, "No, Eila, Ted, you're not. We have to get over this."

"But Tevin, he is...!", the boy wants to refute but is cut off.

The man replies, "You have to face the facts but it is already too late for him. Now do as I told you, or there will be more casualties..."

Dejected, the two kids walk off.

While he tries to project a strong front, the man seems the most hurt by whatever happened as can be seen on his strained face.

"Do you mind telling me what is going on? Maybe I can help?"

He answers, "Evan. And no, you cannot. It is too late for my pupil. He is way out there, hurt and surrounded by evil creatures. He sacrificed himself so the other two could get away, and now these fools are looking for a healer to save him."

"Oh, right, sorry. Call me Jared. But maybe I can..."

I try to take a few healing potions out of my inventory, but he stops me as if he knows what I am about to do, "Don't bother. You'd never reach him in time. And even if you did, there are dangerous creatures guarding the cave. You can't handle them. Not as weak as you are."

I hate being called useless, even if it is true, "If you say so..."

He hangs his head in frustration, "Trust me, I don't like it either, but there's nothing that can be done for him now. But you're not here for that, are you? In truth, you wanted to ask if you could join our evacuation, right?"

Huh? I never said that!

Again, Evan already knows what I'm thinking, "Don't look so surprised. What else would an outsider want in this situation? Now come on, lend us a hand."

"Right, thanks."

"Before I forget, I saw you picking up my notebook, could I have it back, please?"

I hand it over, "Yeah, sure. Mind if I asked what it is about? I... happened to take a peek inside. It was totally an accident."

He stammers, "No, that's... private. Now go, time's running away."

I drop the topic and help with loading stuff onto the carriages and we finish before anything else of note happens.

When the time comes to set out, Evan insists that I sit in the same wagon as him. I'm still an outsider after all and should be watched by him. All too understandable.

During the journey, Evan tells me all sorts of things. Including things that should be common sense to the people around here. Did he already figure out what I am and has decided to help me fit in?

Among other things, he tells me that Silver Elves used to exist but have by now been degraded to the stuff of legends. Legends his three, or rather now two pupils have taken a bit too much of a liking to. So when they saw me, an elf appearing out of nowhere, in their desperation it gave them hope for Tevin until they saw my hair color.

I guess it already paid off that I changed my hair color. Though I probably should've settled for a darker brown then if it still could be confused for silver. Well, too late now, too many people have already seen me like this, and coming up with a reason for why I have the [Disguise] skill would just invite more trouble.

'Hey, I'm a vampire, but I swear I'm not a bad one!' - yeah, as if THAT would fly anywhere that isn't a mental asylum.

Speaking of unbearable, Evan stinks. He smells like rotten eggs crossed with a burnt-down forest. I know that hygiene options were worse back then but not to that extent, and none of the others smell remotely as horrible.

Finally, we arrive at a nearby fortress. Allegedly, because of the way this world works, it doesn't have a name currently. A noble would need to lay claim to it, but the place supposedly has a mind of its own and has rejected everyone so far.

But maybe I could...? I do have the nobility title because of the vampire lord class. Nope, that's just a landmine waiting to go off.

"We need to register you separately", Evan drags me outside to one of the guards manning the entrance.

I don't really like getting dragged through events like that, I want to make my own decisions, but for now, I don't really have a choice so I go along, "Yeah, sure."

He talks to one of the guards, "We have a tagalong, code four-oh-seven. Can you handle this?"

Seems like they know each other. Maybe he originally worked here and was demoted to village guard for some reason. Or he simply lost at drawing straws, he doesn't seem like someone who earned the punishment of being promoted to the boonies.

After some more discussions among them that go totally over my head, the fortress guard addresses me, "Guess we need to have a little chat. Follow me, please."

"Yeah, seems like it. See you later, Evan", I wave him goodbye.

He guides me through the fortress towards our destination. Compared to the chatterbox Evan, this soldier talks as little as he can get away with.

On our way, I mostly see humans and only a handful of elves, not even dwarves or any beast people. Guess I got lucky with my choice of silver elf. Anything else and I'd stand out even more than I already do.

Our destination is supposed to be the military complex. A training ground surrounded by four bigger buildings. We enter the one right next to the entrance where paperwork and matters of human resources are handled. Despite its name, it is not a restaurant for my kind.

After some more quick talks I'm not privy to, the soldier leads me to a backroom and we start the interview.

He demands, "Please state your name."

"Jared Delacroix."

"Occu-", suddenly he stops, looks up, and sighs, "Excuse me, I think I have the wrong form. Please wait a moment, I'll be back in a minute."

Confused I reply, "Sure, no problem."

Without another word, he gets up and leaves the room.

And bureaucracy has ruined yet another day, whoever saw that coming...

I wait a while until the soldier returns with another guard and a slightly older, secretary-looking lady in tow, "This is the one, chief."

She steps inside and takes the seat on the other side of the table, while the two soldiers stand at attention next to the door, one on each side.

Something smells - fishy and otherwise.

The woman offers me a handshake, "Call me Therese. A pleasure to meet you."

I accept, "Jared. Likewise."

The woman takes a crystal out and places it on the table, "See this? This will shine green as long as the truth is told, and red when it detects a lie. There's no reason to worry, this is just standard procedure if a claim of nobility is made."

I protest, "But I did not make such a claim."

The soldier that was with me before chimes in, "That is correct, you merely stated your full name, that is enough."

I see, so it seems normal people don't have family names around here. That must make any form of administration a nightmare.

"Fine, but it doesn't really matter. I may have the title but I hold no territories or anything that gives it any worth."

She writes something down, "And I assume your goal here is to change that?"

"I honestly hadn't thought about that. I'm mostly looking for refuge from the incoming monster horde."

The other soldier looks like he wants to say something but decides otherwise. Now that I look at him, he kinda looks like Evan. No, way different uniform. Unless...

Therese continues her questioning, "Alright, but if you were to do so, what would you do with this land?"

"No idea, I'd first need to know what the actual situation of it is. Can't really say."

"What if I told you that the people here are suffering and certain laws prevent us from helping them? Would you...", she trails off.

"Reform them? Yeah, probably. Don't see why I shouldn't."

She looks at me concerned, "What was that? I'm sorry, I think I misheard. Can you please repeat what you just said?"

"That I'd reform the laws if necessary?"

She throws her hands in the air, "Ah, great, another reincarnator!"

"What the hell are you talking about, Therese?"

Not-Evan facepalms in the background.

She answers, "No, it is alright. There's no reason to hide it, Mr. Delacroix. Jared. You're not the first reincarnator here, and probably won't be the last."

So it is an open secret? "...what gave it away?"

"Quite simple. You outsiders don't actually speak our language, you're using a form of passive translation magic. And what you intend to do with the laws simply doesn't translate. I guess there's no word in our language for that concept yet."

"What? 'Reform' doesn't translate? What nonsense is that? ...how else should I say it? That I would change them, remove them if necessary, and replace them with something that makes more sense. Did that come across?"

"Yes, it does. That is a resolution I could work with. So would you land us your hand?"

"Before that, why did you say 'another' reincarnator? I was told I would be the first here in several decades."

She shakes her head, "I don't know who you work for but there have been dozens this year. Most of them were expressively not on mankind's side. Several of them were just out to spread chaos and destruction for the heck of it, others were working with monsters or demons. There was never a way for this to work out..."

Ah, shit, "So about that, I'm also not human", I point at my ears, "but I swear I'm on your side."

Therese sighs, "Elf... right. A common misconception among the reincarnators. Humans, elves, dwarves, beastkin and many more are all part of mankind. For some reason, they all expect only humans to count, but that is factually wrong."

"Probably another translation issue", I doubt she got the intended message, but I'll let it slide...

She nods, "Probably. So how about it? Would you help us with the fortress?"

"Well, it aligns with what I'm here for, so why not? Having a base to operate from can only help. What do I have to do?"

She points to not-Evan, "Would you please organize an escort party while I explain the details, Eliam?"

He responds, "Could you take that for me, Marc? I had an argument with Jack last time."

The other soldier replies, "Yeah, I can. But then you owe me one."

Suddenly, Therese shouts, "Urgh, just someone do it already! I don't care who!"

With that, Marc leaves the room and Therese explains that I have to 'talk' to a certain mansion and get it to accept me. If I manage that, the fortress will be under my control and I'm allowed to change the laws of the fortress. There's no point to declaring law changes without doing so because those laws are enforced by the System through the fortress and an unspecific Fortress Avatar.

After explaining that, Therese leaves with a satisfied smile on her face. The whole time, it was very obvious that a change of the status quo would mean a lot to her.

Only Eliam is left with me in the room, he's to guard me until all of this is over.

Though I still have one suspicion, "You're really Evan, aren't you?"

He scratches his head, "Was I that easy to figure out?"

"Your face and voice may be slightly different, but you reek the exact same way. It is almost unbearable."

"Ugh, is that really so? Damn, I even took a shower after I left the villagers. Though I didn't think vampires had that keen sense of smell."

Nothing keen about it, you smell worse than a dumpster.

"So what's really going on here? You not only stalk me, but you purposefully arranged for things so that you could be with me here alone now. So what gives?"

He replies, "Try to keep it a secret, but like you, I'm also an outsider. Not quite a reincarnator as Therese would call it, but close enough. But I promise you I'm from the same group as you. Though I'm not really a combatant, I'm more of an investigator, if you will."

"So you're the reason the Devas had insider info despite the world being seemingly shut off?"

He nods, "You can say that. As for why I wanted to talk to you, well, for now, I only wanted to say that you must take reign of this fortress. This fortress is sadly more important to this world than anyone suspects. If it falls into the wrong hands, we can kiss this world goodbye, probably even more than that. I hope my Devas gave you the required tools for the job..."

"So do I... Say, since you're good with investigations, can I contact you when I need some information?"

"Sure, no problem. Here, take this contact card, you can use this to send me a message."

"Thanks."

Strange characters... I can't read what is written on the card. But when I 'use' it in my inventory, it actually creates a text form. So I do the most obvious thing and send a test message.

Evan/Eliam smiles, "Yeah, I certainly got it. Couldn't restain your curiosity, huh?"

While we wait, I concede to him that I couldn't figure out how to use any of my skills or anything. He takes this opportunity to teach me how to use [Appraise], everyone can use it but it costs 300 MP per use, so I have to be careful with it. Though that explains at least how Eliam knew that I am a vampire. But if everyone can find out that easily... I need a defense against it...

But doesn't that mean Therese should also know? 300 MP doesn't strike me like a whole lot, I have almost 1.5k just at level 1. So does she know? Why is she okay with this? This makes little sense to me.

I really need to find a magic teacher later. Only using MP for [Appraise] is kind of a waste of being a magic user.

Eventually, Therese returns with Marc and several new soldiers. She sends us off towards what they call the Lord's Mansion. Supposedly that is the house I need to convince. What a strange world.

After several minutes of walking, we arrive at the destination. It is a mansion, alright. Way too big, outstanding, a stereotypical noble's oversized house that needs a staff of a hundred people just to keep clean on a day-to-day basis.

I approach the house and try to talk to it, not expecting any response because, well, it is a house. Yet one comes. The mansion tells me that I need to be able to cast half a dozen different kinds of magic before it accepts me. It is exactly as I said all this time: I need a goddamn magic teacher, pronto.

Confusingly enough, I'm the only one that understands the mansion. The escorting soldiers claim that they heard only grunts and sounds of moving earth from both the mansion and me. I assume that is another side effect of the translation magic that we reincarnators supposedly use subconsciously.

After some deliberation with my escorting party, we return to the military complex to inform Therese about this development.

It is quickly decided that I'll enroll in the military to receive some basic training. A ruler of just level 1 is simply an unacceptable liability. As such I receive a nice private room there. That's at least one worry taken care of.

Learning magic will be a problem. Only a fraction of people even have any spellcasting ability, so finding a teacher will be tough.

A few days later, I'm called to Therese's office again.

"Jared, we have found someone who will teach you the necessary spellcasting. This is Lucia, the holy maiden", Therese introduces her guests, the aforementioned holy maiden, and two regular nuns.

I greet her, "A pleasure to meet you, Lucia."

"L-likewise", she gives me an uneasy smile. She obviously doesn't want to be here. How much did you tell her, Therese?

I've no clue why they decided to have the utmost holy person teach a vampire about magic, but here we are.

Reflexively, I use [Appraise] on her. I've been practicing it for the last couple of days since I had nothing else to use my MP on.

Fire and healing, someone's missed their calling of a mage clad in red. But if she's able and willing to teach me, who am I to say no?

Suddenly, I hear a whisper from behind, "Overlord Iggy sends his regards", then I feel something sharp pierce me from behind right through the heart.

Dead!? I'm... dead!? Again!?

I look below and see a katana sticking out of my torso.

I see how the people around me are shocked, saying things, but I no longer hear anything.

Then everything goes black. And green.

When I come to, everything around me is just shades of green and black, flickering like a broken TV signal, vaguely forming a replica of the fortress I am in. No people are to be found.

I walk around for ages but find no one, I'm alone. I try to open my inventory, but it doesn't react anymore.

So this is my personal hell. A mocking rendition of Deteoh as a minus world devoid of all life...