I wasn't all that much of a one for green spaces. My first girlfriend used to love sitting on park benches, or standing under trees and just watching everything go by. I wanted to keep moving. Perhaps a dormant prey instinct. Or maybe I just felt that five minutes looking at squirrels was long enough, unless you were a squirrel yourself. But, having said all that, this was pretty nice.

At the side of the path, the grass was quite thick, and I lay amongst it. Little bugs crawled through the grass on their strange insectile missions. Some cheerful yellow buttercups were on the edge of my vision. Not an unpleasant view for a fade-out. My neck really stung, however, from where it had been severed. I mean, very ouchie.

They say that after decapitation, the human brain remains conscious for several seconds. We had to be approaching the end of that now. It was, well, upsetting, but I'd had quite a pleasant week, all in all. A lot of sex, which was great. They were a lovely group of people. Sorry that I hadn't got to say goodbye to mum, but she'd be alright. Sorry too, that I couldn't tell anyone about the murderer. I thought Cass would figure it out, eventually. I'm not an amateur detective, just a fool with Google.

I waited for my vision to darken. There was only a limited amount of blood in my head, and it would all be gone soon. I wondered if there would be a bright light. I wasn't really religious, so it would be interesting if something happened next. 

I tried to kick-start any events-of-your-life replay by recalling my first memory. I was very small, held in close to dad's chest; his warm, comforting scent, tobacco and motor oil. We were going through some noisy area; people shouting in a foreign tongue, coloured lights flashing, weird smells and smoke in the air. Eventually, we got to some quieter, dimmer space. He held me out to a handsome woman, or indeterminate age, looking green in the half-light. She touched my forehead, and the memory ended. When I questioned my mum about it, she said dad had taken me to a work's Halloween party, and that she was surprised I could remember any of it.

No, okay, this was getting boring now. Should I try to nap, drift off in my sleep? I mean, I didn't know brains took this long to die, but maybe it was just my perception of time; stretching out the seconds, clinging on to every last moment of life. I didn't have a watch, but if I had, my wrist was several meters away, with my body.

That didn't stop me from getting what I suppose was phantom body syndrome. It was like I could still feel it flailing, but at a distance. My foot felt wet.

Should I call for help? It hadn't been my first instinct, because it wasn't as if anyone could fix me with a handy first-aid kit. But it was getting old now.

Oh wait, I couldn't speak. My lungs were gone. Well, gone over there, at least. 

Actually, how was I breathing?

"Er, hello," I said. I could talk. Odd. 

"Hello!" I shouted. "Could I have some assistance please?"

A bit posh, but I didn't know what the correct phase was for when you've been beheaded and want some help. Anyway, no-one was responding. 

Oh, there's an idea!

"Aemiliana! I know who the murderer is. Aemiliana! You evil, sexy demon bitch. Aemiliana, the only DILF I acknowledge. Aemiliana, come and find out who the murderer is!" Well, what's she going to do? Double decapitate me?

I heard crunching on the gravel, and my head was picked up by the hair. She turned me to face her.

"This better be important, dullahan," Aemiliana growled. Ylfa stood behind her. Oh, there was my body, amongst the reeds. I felt a surge of affection for it; I suppose I had spent a great deal of time getting it right. Made a change from dysphoria. Well, body, you were a git, but we had some good times.

"Well?" Aemiliana said, shaking my head.

"It's Lujayn," I said, "You know, the guard/porter sphinx who worked for the council. The murders are a riddle; I don't remember the details, but she confessed."

"A sphinx would have a natural obscuring charm," said Ylfa. "And fast-tracking council workers through was probably… well, not ideal."

"With a name our scryers should be able to find her," said Aemiliana. "I don't understand, though; did she not realise you were a dullahan?" 

"Oh, well, I'm not…" I began, then trailed off. 

Oh.

Oh, shit.

I moved the arm of my phantom body. My body moved its arm. My arm. Okay. That would explain the air, and blood flowing. Well, 'explain' in the most teratesque way, at least. Bloody magic.

"... I guess she didn't realise."

Aemiliana looked at me for a while, then dropped my head back into the grass.

"Right," she said to Ylfa, "I've closed the checkpoints. Let's go and talk to our scryers."

She began walking off.

"Actually," said Ylfa, "with your permission, I suggest I escort our witness back to the central sector. It would be embarrassing if she dropped her head in the canal or something."

"I suppose. Fine, we will need to talk to her later," she said, walking off.

Ylfa went and fetched my body; an effortless princess carry. My leg had been in the canal and dripped everywhere. There was a bit of faffing around, and I ended up with my head in my lap, my hands scrabbling round until I could hold it, me, forwards. This was still a princess carry, I supposed, but an immediately post French revolution version. My handbag awkwardly smacked me in the ear every so often.

***

The Circus was deserted, the checkpoints closed. Ylfa temporarily opened one up and gently placed me on my feet. My balance was a little off; I wasn't used to my head being at stomach height. 

"Got to go," said Ylfa. "Stay safe, and, um, say hi to Astrid for me."

I nodded tiredly and waved her off. I limped around Strigil Circus to the folly. It looked a bit deserted, although I could see Lyssa's coach parked around the back. The heavy double-doors were locked; I looked through my handbag for the keys Bunny had given me a couple of days ago. All one-handed, because I needed to keep the other hand on my head. The big key turned easily, unlocking the door, but it still didn't open. Instead, a circular locking seal appeared. Uh oh. 

I took a deep breath, trying to remember how the hand movements went; the visionscape seemed a long time ago. An attempt was made; in style it was more an excited Kermit the frog rather than a cool and precise sorcerer. There was a moment of silence, and the glyph dissolved. I opened the doors. The inner doors were glyphed as well, but my muscle memory was fully returned by this point, and I had no trouble. Well, other than keeping hold of my head.

The first thing I saw was smoke, coiling and bubbling against the ceiling. The only light was from the door into the council chambers; orange and yellow, flickering. A cup holder and coffees were discarded in the middle of the floor. Zabiya was nearby, sitting crumpled, crying.

I ran over. "Zabiya, are you alright? Where are the others?"

She pointed through the door. The council chamber was on fire; the old wooden floor burned bright, the flame sparking up in bright colours from the varnish, or from magic. It was smokey, and loud with the cracking and splitting. I could see figures through the fire, maybe some signs of magic. They would be on the raised tiled area, I thought.

"Miss Cassandra is casting a circle of protection," said Zabiya, who had shuffled up behind me, her voice scratchy with tears. "But… it won't last long."

She looked at me, noticed my head for the first time, but didn't say anything.

I tried shouting across to the councillors, but I was fairly sure they couldn't hear.

"Okay, Zabiya," I said, "there has got to be some fire extinguishers around here, right?"

Zabiya shook her head. "There was a charm. The sphinx broke it."

Okay, Rose, think.

"Miss Cassandra could escape," said Zabiya, in a far-away voice. "But her circle would drop. She won't leave the others."

She had more confidence than me in Cassie's abilities to fly above the flames and below the smoke. But maybe. She couldn't carry everyone, however.

"I'm sorry," said Zabiya. "I'm sorry, Miss, but I wish she would fly out, anyway. I'm sorry."

"I don't think anyone would blame you for being in love," I said, distractedly, still trying to think.

"You knew?"

"Yes, Zabiya. It was pretty obvious."

"Did she know?"

"Dunno," I said. If she would stop talking, I might be able to think of something. "Oblivious lesbian, so maybe not. She loved you, though."

"No," said Zabiya. 

"Yes, Zabiya, that was also bloody obvious," I said, more bluntly than I meant to. The visionscape had been very useful with the glyphs, so it must have had a clue for this. But there was no iceberg in sight.

I glanced up at Zabiya, crying, in a little puddle of water. There was a tiny scent of brine.

"Shit, Zabiya, you're an ocean thingy, right? Can't you just make water?"

"When I'm happy," she said bitterly. "It just leaks out, or flows out. Does it look like I'm fucking happy?"

"Okay, but Cassie loving you is good, right, if you ignore…"

"If I ignore that she's going to die?" she shouted.

"Okay," I said, "But if she was here?"

"Yes, of course, if she was here…"

Oh fuck. I really didn't want to do this. I mean, they were great lasses but…

"Zabiya, you're going to have to throw me."

"What?"

"My head, obviously," I said, wondering at myself. "That bloody sphinx messed my bowling arm up, and I wasn't that good at bowling, anyway. Can you throw?"

"I suppose," she said.

"This is the bit I can't do, but she, Cassie, can. I'll get her to fly out, if you get me into their circle."

"But…"

"Trust me, it will be fine." This was possibly a lie.

"Okay." Zabiya nodded and picked my head up. I moved my body towards the outer door, just in case. Although I tripped up part way there. I was going to have to get used to this, if I didn't die horribly in the next few minutes. 

It looked a long way; through fire and flame to the council seats. Zabiya held my head volleyball style; I'd have thought that bowling was the way to go, but she was doing the throwing. Maybe she was a champion at undersea volleyball? I didn't ask her; I was virtually certain that was not a thing, but wanted to hold on to that chance.

Zabiya threw me; I closed my eyes. For the second time today, I felt the world tumble about me. This was probably why normal people kept their heads attached. Fuck, it was hot.

There was a sudden burst of cooler – though still warm – air, and shouts of surprise. I hit the floor hard, hurting my chin. I opened my eyes; I was still rolling, sliding, rapidly approaching the other side of the circle, and more fire. That would be an embarrassing way to die.

Then several blue pseudopods grabbed me, and I found myself being bundled into Bunny's cool translucent interior. My head suddenly got less painful, and I realised that some of my hair had been on fire. 

"... alive?" said Lyssa, as I partly emerged from Bunny's tummy.

"Yes, if that was about me," I said. "Turns out I'm a dullahan. Or human doctors have really missed a trick. We can talk about it when we're not, you know, burning."

"I've tried calling Aemiliana," said Lyssa, "but nothing."

"Cassie," I said. She was standing at the edge of my vision, but Bunny turned to face her. Cassandra was speaking strange words under her breath.

"Cassie," I repeated. "You need to fly out of here."

Cass glanced at me and shook her head.

"Yes," I said. "And tell Zabiya that you love her."

Cassandra stopped. 

"She's full of seawater, Cass," I said. "And she's going to gush when she sees you. Sorry, I could have phrased that better."

Without reinforcement, the improvised circle was fading fast. 

"I care a lot for her," said Cassie, carefully. "And she makes me happy. But I don't know if that is love, or-"

"Bloody hell, Cass," I said. "Normally, I'd indulge your gothic ramblings, but I don't enjoy dying. Yes, you fucking love her."

"She doesn't-"

"Of course she does," I said.

"But our families-"

"Yes, that sounds like an important issue that you and your beloved should discuss, in a place that isn't fucking burning down."

The flames had got closer. We'd all formed a sort of compact snake-spider-wolf-bird-slime bundle in the middle.

"Fuck," said Cassie. "Fuck. I was going to give it another fifty years, see how it went. Okay. Okay, I'll do it."

She flexed her wings. It was only a short flight. Barely a skip or two to a big bird. We both looked at the sheared off feathers, and shared a grimace.

Then she was off, wings beating through the flame and the smoke. I thought she'd made it through, but it was hard to tell. 

The spell was fading, and the flames approaching. The tiled floor would hold them for a little, though the tiles were cracking now, and anyway, this would just mean that we would be cooked or die of smoke inhalation.

"You know," I said, "this wasn't how I thought my first week of work would go. Not sure I'm cut out for it."

"Nonsense," said Lyssa, "I was going to suggest that we make the appointment permanent."

Oh great, I thought, at least I will be a permanent employee for the last few minutes of my life. That would please the folks in the Jobcentre. 

"Oh my god, you fucked Lyssa as well!?" said Molly.

"Um, it could be because I am good at my job?" I said.

"Look!" said Astrid.

Two figures were walking towards us, becoming clearer. Cassandra and Zabiya. The surrounding flames were dying out. Cassandra walked behind, burnt wings over Zabiya's head. Water was pouring out of her sleeves and her dress; some of it turned to steam, mingling with the smoke, but the flames were forced back. When the couple reached us, we formed up; lamia, arachne, werewolf, slime, harpy, dullahan, around the sopping nereid, and walked out of the smoke.

*** 

"It wasn't even a good riddle," I said, not really to anyone.

We had repaired to Lyssa's house, since none of us wanted to go home alone. We were in the kitchen, because many of us needed a snack. The guard and the medics had gone.

The radio was recounting Aemiliana's battle with Lujayn, again. It did sound thrilling; a roof-top and aerial fight, demon sword against sphinx claw. I didn't envy them; that sort of thing was all very well, but I was a quiet girl from Birmingham. We don't do that sort of thing. Getting my head cut off, and then almost immolated, was a bit too showy for a Midlander. Most of my relatives would definitely consider that 'a trans thing' for some reason. Anything show-offy was suspect. Anyway, they – Lujayn and Aemiliana, not my relatives – had messed up Earthgate Street, but Aemiliana had won. Lujayn survived. I was kind of glad; apart from trying to kill everyone, she seemed quite nice. I mean, if people want to kill you, but not hate-kill you, they get points for that in my book. That may actually be a trans thing. 

The council, and its travails, were relegated to a couple of lines at the end of the broadcast. Positive lines, though. People admired the fact that we could have got murdered too. 'They're just like us,' vulnerable to fire.

"Pardon?" said Lyssa. She was reading through some papers. Like all of us, apart from Bunny, she had plasters, bandages, and healing writing all over her. Lyssa's long body had taken the most burns of any of us. But scales can be regrown, she said. The mandragora apothecary had spent a while patching everybody up. Well, she deferred doing anything about my head until I'd had a proper consultation, but my burns and bruises were treated. 

"The riddle, you know, Lujayn's one?" I said. Molly turned my head around to face her.

"I have no feet, no hands, no wings, but I climb to the sky?" she said.

"Yeah," I said. My head was supported by Astrid; she was sleeping, in wolf mode, on the table. My head was in the middle, surrounded by a furry sleeping wolf-pillow. My body was over with Bunny, as she also slept. 

Bunny was a paler blue than usual; she'd lost some mass in the fire. But she reckoned that a couple of pitchers full of sugar water and some rest, and her slime metabolism would have her back to normal.

My body was with her ostensibly so that I could relax, buoyed within jellied cushions, but I had my suspicions that it – I – was basically a teddy bear for Bunny. She had wrapped around it and gone to sleep.

"What was the answer?" asked Molly. She had been quiet. I think she liked fire even less than the rest of us.

"Smoke," I said. "Or steam works too. Or, like, a really long staircase. A lift. A balloon. Riddles are extremely stupid."

"Maybe the real answer," said Molly, red eyes glittering, "was the friends we made along the way."

"Hell's claws," Lyssa muttered under her breath, almost without amusement.

Outside the kitchen window was a small herb garden, illuminated by the light of multiple moons, Aurea and Luna, and the lights from the house. Cassandra and Zabiya were out there, sat together on a small bench, feet getting wet. Talking. Hugging. Kissing. It was sweet.

Something tapped on the window. Lyssa, Molly and I looked up. Again, a plasticy scratch. Molly scurried over and opened the window. A tinny tune was playing. Something flew in; Molly caught it with spider-like reflexes. 

She held it out to me. It was my phone, kind of; six chitinous legs dangled from the underside, and dragonfly-type wings stuck out from the sides. I hadn't seen it since the canal. It had faceted eyes along the front edge, but no blood-sucking proboscis that I could see. It was also ringing.

"I think it's for you," Molly said, peering at the screen. "I suppose other people might have a 'MUM' that looks like a MILF-mode version of you…"

"Uh, I better answer," I said. "Er, can you put the weird bug on speaker, please?"

The bug had actually folded its wings and legs away, and didn't appear to have any objection to being used as a phone.

"Hi mum," I said.

"Rose! Are you okay? Kostya said that-"

"We're all fine. Well, not fine, exactly, but just scrapes and bruises. Nothing to worry about. Er, except…" I paused.

"Yes?"

"I'm fine, remember, but… I was kind of decapitated. My head, er, got detached, but it's, I'm, fine."

There was a pause from my mother, and then a sigh. "You get that from your father."

"..." I said.

"He said he'd get you treated for it. You know, charms or something. Bloody idiot probably scrimped on the cost."

"Well, I mean, I am lucky that decapitation wasn't as much of an obstacle as it could have been," I said. "But you could have told me."

"What would the point have been, bab? Before the Zones opened up, as well. And you were already having trouble at school; it didn't seem like it would help," said mum. "You know how kids can be. And you had your father's so-called surname, so I thought you'd probably work it out, eventually."

"Oh my god, was that why you seemed relieved when I came out to you?"

"Yes!" she said. “I thought you'd figured out you were a monster, but you were just trans."

"Fuck," I said.

"Sorry, love, probably should have told you," she said.

"We'll speak about it, and Dad, later. Got to go now, it's late and I'm tired."

"Oh," said Lyssa, "can you tell her to tell Kostya that the gate should be opening soon?"

"It's on speaker, she can hear you," I said. "Mum, did you get that?"

There was a pause and mumbles from the other side. "Okay, I told him," Mum said. "Is that his boss, Miss Vexillum?"

"Yes."

"Tell her he'll be back soon," she said.

"She can hear you, your-"

"Although," she said, voice quieting very slightly, "he's not going to rush."

"Mum…"

"And you watch that snake woman, Kostya says she really needs a-"

"Bye mum!" I said, signalling via desperate blinks that Molly should hang up. 

Bloody hell; speakerphone convos with my mum; I hadn't thought today could get any scarier.

My wolf pillow was nice and soft. I should sleep. Tomorrow, or maybe Monday, I had lots of things to think about. I was a monster girl! And I thought 'I am a girl!' was a big enough shock. But I suppose it's the same sort of thing; you find your people, your monsters, and work out what you're doing. Maybe sleep with some of them.

THE END