Chapter 14: Paradise Lost, part 3

I am weak.

Ever since I was reincarnated into this galaxy of magic and superhumans, those words were beaten into my head time and time again.

Weak as a bug. Useless as a dead mule.

For I am a Manaless cripple who can’t even use the lowest level spells. The best I could do was manipulate small objects with my mind; chess pieces, shards of glass, brain matter.

I once murdered a man in cold blood by squeezing a tiny spot in his head. It was so simple, it came so naturally, I was almost surprised by my own actions.

Almost.

I don't regret killing that man; he deserved it. Scum like him should burn in Hell for all eternity for the crime of threatening God’s chosen: my Abigail — the young woman who called me a mother.

A failure like myself… a mother to someone as great as she. I don’t deserve that honor nor her love. For I am a failure, bringer of misfortune.

Everything I touched is fated to come crashing down.

Everyone who loved me is fated to be disappointed.

Look at Master Jack. He was so kind and so powerful yet even he ended up in a bind thanks to coming in contact with me. My misery spread like a virus to all I held dear.

No more!

I can’t allow my ratchet self to pull others down any longer. I must make things right… once and for all.

“Mommy, are you listening to me? We gotta knock out those guards and steal that ship. My magic could obscure it long enough for us to reach the enemy’s ship. After that… I'm sure we can figure it out as we go!”

Abigail looked at me with stars in her eyes. The girl was excited like a mischievous kid planning an adventure in the woods.

Abigail, the young woman I raised.

One moment she was acting like a teen in her rebellious phase, and the next moment she clung to me like a baby kangaroo while saying mother this, and mommy that. Teenagers, you just can’t understand them.

Which is strange since I’m only five years older than her. My previous life doesn’t count, of course.

Perhaps that was the conundrum. Maybe Abigail was conflicted by the fact that her parental figure was only a few years older than her and she just couldn’t sort out our relationship.

At first, I was her big brother. Then she acted all surprised when she found out I was female.

Children desire stability. They, more than anyone else, hate changes. Change of friends, school, teachers, and most of all, parents. They’ll get upset if their mother changed her hairstyle or their father shaved his beard.

I could imagine how angry and lost Abigail must have been when she found out her training bra was my hand-me-down.

Poor kid.

But why ‘mother’ though?

How did she make that leap in logic?

I don’t know, prodigies are a bit cuckoo in the head, I guess. Quitting school early definitely doesn’t help. I still regret allowing her to do so, to this day.

The girl missed out on friends, romances, cafeteria politics and so much more.

But even so, she turned out better than I could ever have hoped for.

She saw my helpless self and wanted to help by planning a valiant rescue. Two women against an army of Vampires to save a kidnapped prince.

I don’t deserve her. I truly don’t.

“Mom, if we want to go we need to move now!”

“Yes, baby, I know.”

I knew time wasn’t on our side nor was strength, however, exposing Abbie to the dangers of space was out of the question.

Abigail was too important. Too precious. She had an entire future ahead of her.

I alone should go.

“Master Kyle, can you do the honors?”

Abbie widened her eyes in surprise before her consciousness was cut off. I caught her body before she fell to the ground.

I turned around to meet the master who came after his missing disciple.

“Thank you, Kyle. And please keep her safe… keep them all safe.”

“Annie, you know you’re throwing your life away, right? There’s nothing someone as weak as you could do.”

“I know that, more than anyone else.”

“But still you insisted.”

“Yes. My place is with him. After all… I’m Jack’s… personal butler!”

“Haha! You two are like peas in a pot!”

The tall wizard ruffled up his head before taking Abigail’s sleeping body off my arms.

“What a waste of talent… and here I was going to introduce you to my girl. You two have a lot in common; both Level Zero, both stubborn as a mule!”

“Ha! I like her already!”

I laughed and nodded gratefully at the tall wizard before walking to the hanger area to prepare myself for my last adventure.

Space, the final frontier.

You can’t hope for a better place to die.

***

“Are you insane!? What do you mean you’re not going to equip a Mana battery? How would you even fly this thing?”

“The Vampires are drawn to Mana, aren’t they? Not having any will help me stay under their radar. As for the flying part… don’t worry, there’s a way to move objects without magic.”

“What the Hell are you talking about!? Hey come back here, you psycho, I’m not finished with you!”

I ignored the engineer as I equipped my spacesuit and hopped on board a small shuttle designed for sport. Our mothership was originally a luxury cruise, so there were a bunch of these lying around. Its size was only big enough for two passengers, without any fancy equipment or weapons on board.

It’s light. Very light. Good. This I could work with!

But the neon green color was definitely a problem.

“Hey four-eyes, a little help?”

“Like peas in a pod.”

Kyle chuckled before snapping his fingers a few moments later the paint job shifted to matte black and all its lights and reflective surfaces were perfectly covered.

I whistled at my brand new stealth vessel. Magic, so convenient!

He even changed the color of my space as well. Now I feel like a ninja going on a mission.

Once everything was set, Kyle opened the hanger door and helped push my ship out to the endless abyss beyond.

From here on out, there’s just me. No Jack or Kyle or Abigail to protect me with their magic.

Just me… and my Intent.

Intent, what a curious subject. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the concept that everything in this universe was alive and had a will of its own. Sure I’ve read about it when I was copying the spell books for Abbie. But studying about something and understanding it is completely different things.

Think about it this way, anybody can open Wikipedia and read up the Theory of relativity and maybe even write a decent paper out of it. But not everyone is going to ‘get it.’ Do you know what I’m saying?

Studying. Understanding. Implementation. All completely different.

As a soul who reincarnated from a world without Mana or Intent, I could never fully grasp either subject. They simply don’t feel real to me. They’re like dream logic. Made up game rules. Children’s play pretends.

I don’t fully believe in it and that resulted in stagnation. Lack of growth. Lack of power.

But now… I need to act, not think.

No room for self-doubt, only actions!

Breath in. Breath out. Concentrate.

Study the ship’s shape and size. Feel it. Sense it. Understand it.

There is nearly no gravity here. No force to resist your will. No up or down, no left or right, only emptiness all around.

Imagine the ship like a toy floating in the water. Can you see? Good! Now gently push that toy forwards. 

Better yet, tell it to go forward. Command that vessel as if it was alive. She is your ship, your royal subject. She has no reason to resist you. She was made to fly across the vast ocean of space and you’re simply allowing her to do as her heart desires.

Go, my vessel, take me to my destination!

With that thought, the dark ship slowly moved across space. Without Mana. Without fuel.

She moved with her Intent! My Intent!

So that’s how my power works. Awesome!

Had I known it was this easy, I would have tried moving larger objects long ago!

The ship cut across space ducking and weaving past enemy’s ships and wreckage. Jack had taken out half of their forces and thanks to that there was a large hole in their defenses, both strategically and literally.

The giant serpent ship with its head cut off. The vessel has a large hollowed interior designed as ship docks. I can imagine that’s where they anchored their ships and dismantled any poor soul that was sucked in by the evil beast.

Vampires that prefer Mana over blood. Monsters that are human beings like you and me.

Good.

Killing people should be easier than killing the living dead. Just a simple squeeze at the right spot… and they’ll drop dead like flies.

I have sinned before, doing it again should come naturally.

I wanted to be a good person, I really did but it seems… I’ve failed to achieve that as well.

My black ship entered the serpent's throat. I held my breath as I made my way past the distracted crew who were busy repairing the ship and moaning their lost loves. 

Once the ship reached a deep enough spot, I ordered it to hide in a dark corner, exited the vehicle, and leaped to grab a metal railing.

Keeping with the theme, the Vampire fortress was designed like a gothic castle mixed with an industrial slaughterhouse out of your nightmares. With large lordly hallways, giant oppressive arcs, and giant pipes that look like they were alive going in all sorts of directions. It’s like I’m lost in H.R. Giger’s painting.

But I’m not lost. I can feel Jack’s presence. He’s here, deep in the inner sanctum. Alone. Scared. Angry. Almost as angry as I was.

I leaped up to the dangling structure above and sank into the black shadows. This is my element. I’m a hunter in the dark. A killer in the night. I’m the shadows themselves.

Sticking close to the dark corners, I sneaked into the ship. Leaping from columns to columns. Jumping from gargoyle to gargoyle. I almost felt like Batman, if not for the blaster and blade in my hand reminding me that I could never keep his one rule.

In this situation, my non-existence Mana is my greatest asset. They can’t find me unless I made myself known, or I stepped into the light like a dumbass. I like to think that I’m not that much of an idiot-

There’s a kid.

There’s always a kid.

No, there’s more than one — dozens of them.

I can feel them. They are afraid. They scream and cry for their mothers.

But they only have me.

Jack, what should I do? What can I do? I’m so weak. So helpless. And there’s only one of me.

Jack… My Master. My King. My God.

I pray to you. 

Please give me strength. 

Enough strength to do what must be done.

Enough strength to sin!

Amen.

***

“So these are all the cattle we have? I thought there would be more. We took out an entire city for Queen’s sake!”

“Yeah, that’s the thing… Our dear beloved Queen ordered the best samples to be served to her… which is most of them. These are all that’s left.”

“Oh. Okay then. That’s good… right?”

“Yeah… I thought being stationed under her majesty was the highest honor… but honestly, I missed working for Count Francis, man. That guy understands resource management and would have taken the space station without killing most of our prey in the process. All those wasted bodies, just floating there.”

“Shush! Don’t let anyone hear you say that!”

“Calm down, kid. There’s just you, me, and Bob down here. You heard everything I said, Bob!?”

“Yeah, screw the Queen! The thirsty whore!”

“Shit! Shit! Shit! If both of you assholes want to be executed for blasphemy so badly, then don’t drag me into it!”

There are only three of them. Good. This I could work with.

Two guards were stationed outside the holding cell. Another one sitting at the front desk.

They referred to the children as castles. They don’t even register their cries for help. To them, these children are but animals. Power-source. Living batteries. Spoils of war.

That’s why the Vampires must die. They all do.

On my body were two handguns, one rifle, one medium-length knife, and two grenades.

Was it enough? I don’t know. But I’ve gotta try!

I waited up on the ceiling with the patient of a predator. I observed the room, trying to find something to my advantage. The guards each have a hand blaster equipped. No idea if any or all of them were mages.

The one they called Bob was resting his feet on the table, hat over his eyes. Surrounded by paperwork and office utensils.

One of them walked mindlessly around the holding cell, listening to music from his earpieces.

The final one was the only diligent guard. He’s young — fidgeting — a scared boy in boots; can’t be older than Vicky.

Hmmm. Options. Options.

Tell me, how does one kill three supermen with skin as tough as steel?

You don’t give them a chance to resist!

I threw my handguns up in the air, using intent to command the weapons to aim and shoot at both stationary guards at once! At the same time, I leaped down to the walking Vampire, striking my laser knife through the soft tissue on her sculpt! The hot blade did its job and burned his skull inside out.

The gunshots weren’t as effective, the two other guards were still alive, even with a big black burning spot on their bodies. Luckily, they were surprised; panicking.

I didn’t let my small window of opportunity go to waste. I leaped close to the young Vampire, stuck my rifle up his screaming mouth, and pulled the trigger!

*Bang!*

The laser exploded out of the barrel and burned his insides! An intense hot beam of energy penetrated the soft tissue at the back of his mouth and instantly destroyed the Medulla which connected his brain to his spinal cord! The boy’s body became a ragdoll as his motor function was severed!

I retracted my rifle, kicking the dead body away.

Two down, one to go!

The sitting man was knocked down to the floor. Damn, I can’t get a good shot from this angle!

I ran to finish the job, but I was too late!

Bob the Vampire got up and blasted energy right at my chest! It was like I was gut-punched by a semi. My rib cage almost turned to dust as my lungs burst. Blood gushed out of my lips and my body was sent flying back to impact the holding cell!

“Josh! Markus! Goddammit!!! Who the fuck are you!? Where did you come from!!?”

Bob got up on his feet, he reached for his blaster to finish the job.

No… can’t die here…

I bit through my pain and tried my damn hardest to keep my consciousness from fading away. At that moment, my flight or fight instinct kicked in.

The world seemed to slow down as my neurons tried their hardest to figure a way out of this crisis.

I have mere seconds left to live. Think! Think fuck face! What am I going to do!? What can I even do in this position!?

Calm down! Breath. Breath. That’s it. In and out. In and out. Panicking doesn’t help.

I need to be calm.

I need to think. I need to study the situation.

Focused on the man in front of you. He may be a Vampire. He may have magic. But at the end of the day, he’s only human. Fleshy, weak human.

All he has is Mana.

Mana, the substance of miracles. The element that made his skin impregnable and gave him unimaginable powers.

Mana… something I don’t have.

Why?

Doesn’t everything in this universe has Mana? Rocks, glass, moon, ships, everything.

So how come I don’t have it?

What made me so special?

Was it the fact that I was reincarnated? Does my soul simply don't belong in this place? Can’t be. There are cripples other than me, we can’t all be reincarnated individuals, could we?

I don’t know. I don’t know a damn thing!

At this moment all I have is this broken body of mine and my… Intent.

The ability to overrule others’ will.

The ability to overrule… Mana.

The ground. The ceiling. The walls. The corpses. Every single thing in this room… is my loyal subjects.

I am their King. Their true ruler.

If I command them to move, they move.

If I command them to dance, they dance.

If I command them to die, they can’t deny my will!

I who was born with nothing, has nothing to lose and everything to gain! So I’ll take it! Everything they have; their life, their power, their senses of self shall become mine!

The Vampire stopped in his tracks. His eyes widened in confusion as he felt the Mana he was so proud of, betraying his orders.

His skin that was hard as steel, softened. His limb that could crush boulders, weakened. His magic that could create miracles, slipped away by the wind.

At that moment, he was a mere mortal.

Good. This I could work with.

“W- What’s happening!? What did you do to me!!?”

I twist my lips into a mocking sneer as I command every blaster in the room to aim at the confused man.

“Good bye, Bob. I’ll join you in Hell later.”

“!!!”

The man didn’t have a chance as his body was cutted down into tiny chunks of blood and meat!

I whistled at the gory carnage I had caused. Before ordering my shambering body to stand up straight. 

Even with broken bones. Even with crushed organs. Even with snapped tendons.

They listened to my command like good little servants.

And for as long as I still live…

My will shall reign supreme!

——————————

Author’s Note

Hey there, people. This is pretty awkward to say… but I’m abandoning this novel.

Turns out my ego was more fragile than I thought, as a single bad review just killed all motivation to continue this story.

I’m not angry or sad, but in fact, is very thankful for that reviewer since they led me down a path to discovered this video on Youtube

>> The WORST Amateur Writing Mistakes | 22 Novice Writer Issues <<

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=yOQqxHKO-0w

Turned out, I made every single mistake possible and created an absolute mess as a result (oops.)

Now, it’s not like I’m trying to become a legitimate writer or anything. Since, I’m just typing this stuff out while I’m on a treadmill, or just before I go to sleep out of sheer boredom. No outlines. No plans. Nothing. just a stream of consciousness with a vague idea of where I want the story to go. (Something, something, Isekai. Something, something, Star Wars.)

The problem here is that this story is too big, too ambitious, and too messy for me to commit to. What was supposed to be a simple space adventure comedy got bogged down by a bunch of random stuff I came up with on the fly.

The fact that I avoided writing Marianne, who’s the supposed hero of this story, also doesn't help. I hated writing her so much, Jack, who was created to take Mary and Abbie from point A to B, somehow became a main character with a romantic subplot and everything.

I discovered several things about myself in the past few weeks. First of all, I couldn’t care less about the Isekai sub genre, subversive comedy, world building, or overarching plot. I just want a funny relatable character going on short adventures with some gory fight scenes and that’s about it.

Therefore, I should cut my losses early and end it here before I waste any more of your time.

Going forward, I’ll most likely switch to a different username and write short stories or episodic adventures similar to pulp fiction heroes (Batman/ The Shadow/ Zorro) But not before I brush up my English and learn how tenses work of course. (Ha!)

So yeah, this is farewell.

I’m sorry for disappointing you all and to make it up to you, here’s a basic idea of how this story was supposed to go.

***

Book 1: Little Orphan Annie

A man died and got yeeted into a star wars rip-off dimension. He became a she, Marianne the cripple, and is now responsible for a bunch of orphans, namely Abigail, the chosen one.

Abigail got recruited by two mages, Jack and Kyle, and the rest of the orphanage became tagalongs. However on their journey, they were attacked and all the kids were killed. 

Mary was so angry, her powers somehow turned one of the masters, Jack, into a level six. He saved the day, resurrected the children, defeated the vampire queen, but died saving Marianne.

In the end the orphans arrived at the grand order home world and Marianne resolved herself to protect her children at all cost.

Book 2: Universal Order

Mary was assigned to lady Doris, Kyle’s girlfriend and the cripple daughter of a level six, one of the grand order's three rulers. At the same time, Abbie was indoctrinated into the order. She made friends, found love, etc.

Doris was a troubled woman but she’s also a researcher who likes to explore the cosmos. Together with Mary, they came across a mad scientist’s plot to create an artificial magic user. He experimented on low mana children, in an attempt to bring down the status quo.

After a long grueling battle, Mary defeated him and saved the kids. She also recovered some intel on the mad scientist’s co-conspirators.

Turns out, Kyle was a spy who betrayed the order, believing that it was the best course of action for his girlfriend. Abbie and her friends were sent to execute him. Doris soon committed suicide afterwards.

The grand order demanded the kids be killed in order to keep the experiment hush hush. but Mary saved them at the last second and together they escaped the most powerful organization in the cosmos.

Book 3: Fallen Angels

Don’t know. Like I said, it’s just a stream of consciousness.

Something, something, Marianne vs Abigail.

Something, something, using mana will lead to the end of the universe.

Something, something, Abigail sacrificed herself and Mary goes full dark side.

Book 4: The Devil

Marianne became the very thing Abigail feared: the Devil.

She hunted down every remaining level six mages and plunged the galaxy into war to achieve her revenge.

The universe, including the children Mary had saved previously, banded together to end her madness. But they all failed.

In the end, Marianne was left alone in a dead universe and watched as time itself came to an end.

With her dying breath she reached out to the singularity and recreated the cosmos anew. One where a failure like her doesn’t exist. One where every child can grow up happy.

The end.

***

So… that was a lot of plot and drama out of nowhere. But let’s be honest, with my ADHD, I’ll probably change cause midway and go somewhere completely different such as space pirates and stuff.

Ending it now rather than fifty chapters in, is definitely the best course of action.

So that's it then.

Thanks for reading. Bye!