From the moment Alfonso first saw Lily, it was love at first sight. They were both freshmen in high school. She was beautiful, with her long, curly, red hair, warm green eyes, and a dimpled smile. Him… not so much. He was tall and lanky and his black hair always seemed to be a mess.

As the years went on, Lily seemed to get more beautiful. Alfonso’s friends urged him to ask her out on a date and just get it over with already! They were sick and tired of him talking about how much he wished he could. Finally, a few weeks before their junior year ended, Alfonso bought two tickets to the prom. It took him a few more days to actually go up to Lily and ask her. “Hi, um, Lily. I’m Alfonso, from, uh, math class…”

“Oh yeah! You helped me with my homework last week.” Her smile was dazzling.

“Yeah, that was, um, fun. So anyways; do you, um, wanna go to prom with me?” Her friends were giggling as he stuttered through asking her, and everyone in the hallway stared at them. They all knew she wouldn’t say “yes,” despite the warm smile she gave him.  

So everyone– including Alfonso– was completely surprised when she exclaimed, “Yes! Of course I will!”

Lily wore a sparkly, pink dress to the prom. Alfonso matched with a pink bowtie and got her the most expensive pink corsage he could find. They stood patiently in front of their school as their parents snapped a million photos of them. Other students gawked; why was the most beautiful girl in the whole school with him? 

While the prom was like every other prom, it marked the turning point for Alfonso. He and Lily talked everyday after that. They had lunch together most days, and even tried to make sure they had the same classes together in their senior year. He once again asked her to prom that year– a little less nervous this time– and she once again said yes. Everything was basically the same that year (Lily even wore a pink dress again), except for the fact that they kissed for the first time. 

And from then on, they were attached to the hip. They even went to the same college; Alfonso majored in English and Lily in business. A few weeks before their graduation, Alfonso bought her a pink diamond ring. He could barely hide it from her, he was so excited. But finally, graduation came. While celebrating at a fancy restaurant with all of their friends and family, Alfonso dropped down to one knee. He only managed to say “Will you…” before Lily screamed “YES” and tackled him in a hug. 

♥  ♥  ♥

Alfonso published his first novel at twenty. At twenty-six, Lily gave birth to their daughter, Carlota. She was beautiful, like her mother, but inherited the untameable black hair from her father. By the time they were thirty, Lily and Alfonso were living comfortably in a large house in their small town. He taught English at the high school they had attended, and Lily managed the restaurant he had proposed at. 

On a day like any other, Lily sat on his lap and said, “Honey, can you go pick up Carlota?”

“Why can’t you?” he asked, giving her a kiss.

“Because I’m too lazy.” She kissed him back. “Thank you!” 

“Anything for you, my dear. Now, get off of my lap!”

She giggled and kissed him again. “I’ll make apple pie, just for you.”

“Don’t burn it this time!”

“You know I probably will.”

Alfonso picked up Carlota from her preschool and took her to lunch. They took the long way home, passing by a beautiful field covered in wildflowers. Of course, they had to stop and get out of the car when they saw a doe and her fawn. Alfonso took a picture for Lily. She’ll love this, he said to himself. 

When they finally got home, Lily wasn’t there. Her car, however, was still in the garage. At first, Alfonso thought she had simply gone out with friends. He checked his phone, wondering if he missed a text from her. He didn’t. He called her phone, only to discover it was sitting on the counter. He called every one of her friends; none of them had heard from her since that morning. He called her parents, then her sisters, then her cousins. They hadn’t heard from her at all that day. 

He gave Carlota his iPad to play with before walking into the bedroom. It was in total disarray: the sheets ripped off of the bed, the rocking chair on its side with a broken arm, a crack on the mirror, blood in the center of the crack… His next course of action was to call the police. 

They found Lily’s body a few days later. She was in the field Alfonso and Carlota had seen the deer in, hidden among the wildflowers. 

♥  ♥  ♥

Alfonso could barely remember the funeral. He knew his mother was trying to comfort him, but he didn’t register what she said. The only thing he remembered was walking up to view the body and then nothing. He woke up in the back of an ambulance, his mother telling him he had fainted. He couldn’t get the image of Lily’s cold, unmoving body out of his head. 

They finally caught the bastard a week after Lily’s funeral. Jason Oates was a serial killer who targeted young women alone in their homes. By the time he targeted Lily, he was overconfident and assumed the police would never find him. He was sloppy and left a strand of his hair on her body. The investigators were able to match it to a previous arrest. While in interrogation, he confessed to killing Lily and six other women. But when he was finally in front of a judge, he looked over at the families of his victims, smirked at them, and pleaded not guilty. 

On the day the trial was supposed to officially begin a year later, Alfonso left Carlota at his mother’s house and drove to the courthouse, heart racing. He had to talk himself into getting out of the car and going into the courthouse. When he finally forced himself into the courthouse, he was immediately informed by the prosecutor that the coward had killed himself.

♥  ♥  ♥

To say that Alfonso was depressed is an understatement. He abandoned the book he was writing before Lily died and quit his teaching job. He never went out with friends or family. Worst of all, it took a toll on sweet Carlota; she never seemed happy and was constantly asking about her mother. He blamed himself. He had left her mother home alone, giving that bastard an opportunity to break into their house and kill her. He was the reason Carlota was motherless. He was the reason Lily wasn’t there. 

Two years after Lily’s death, he couldn’t take it anymore. He left Carlota at his mother’s house and drove back home. He sat in his bathroom, crying and staring at his wedding picture, Lily’s beautiful face smiling up at him. After about an hour, he mustered up the courage and swallowed a bottle of pills.

♥  ♥  ♥

Alfonso woke up in a dark hallway, not knowing how much time had past. He saw a flickering light at the end of the hallway. So this is it. He got up and walked toward it.

He entered a large, golden ballroom, surrounded by fire. The first thing he saw was Lily. She was standing on a tall pedestal, wearing a golden dress and golden tiara. In front of the pedestal was a mirror. And in front of the mirror was Jason Oates.

“Welcome, friend,” Oates said grandly.

“What is this?” Alfonso hissed, balling his hands into fists.

“It’s my playground.” Oates sauntered towards him. “You see, buddy, you can’t just let go of me. You’re so mad that I’m all you think of. I’ve trapped you, my guy, in my playground.”

“What’s she doing here?” Alfonso asked.

“Oh, her?” Oates turned to Lily. She raised her eyes to the ceiling, looking like a goddess. “She’s just here for the hell of it.” Oates shrugged.

“Haven’t you tormented her enough?” Alfonso asked. 

Oates laughed. “You can never get enough of that.”

“Why did you do it? Not just to her, but to those other women.”

“I honestly don’t know.” Oates began to pace. “Psychiatrists say it was because my mother abused me as a child. The priest said it was because I let the Devil into my heart. Maybe it was one or the other. Or maybe it was both. But I honestly don’t know.” Oates stopped in front of Alfonso again. “But everyone else could move on. Why couldn’t you?”

“I… I don’t know.” Alfonso looked up at Lily. “I’ve loved her since I was fourteen.” 

“Catharine Martinez’s wife loved her since they were eleven,” Oates pointed out. “And she was able to move on. Dorcas Smith’s son loved her since the day he was born. And he was able to move on. All of my victims’ families were able to move on. You’re the only one who can’t.”

“Then I don’t know.” Alfonso turned back to Oates. “I just… I can’t let go.”

Oates sighed dramatically. “I guess I won, didn’t I? I was able to drag you down with me. One last victim. This is gonna be a fun eternity. Hope Carlota won’t miss you.”

Carlota. His daughter. Lily’s daughter. How could he do this to her? She lost her mother and now she was going to lose her father. 

“I have to let go,” he murmured.

“No you don’t,” Oates said. “Stay here; wallow in your grief.”

“I have to let go,” Alfonso said, louder.

“Stay here with us.” Oates gestured to Lily. “Stay and play.” 

“I have to let go!” Alfonso pushed Oates into the mirror. The mirror broke and Oates disappeared. The fire went out and the room went black. Alfonso collapsed.

♥  ♥  ♥

Alfonso opened his eyes to blackness. Then he saw a glow. Lily was walking towards him. She knelt down beside him and took him into her warm arms.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “But I have to let you go.”

“I understand,” she said.

“I’m so sorry.” Tears streamed down his face.

“No; it’s what I want you to do.” Lily brushed his tears away. “Just because you’re letting go doesn’t mean you won’t forget me. It just means you won’t hold onto the grief.”

“I’m a failure.” 

“You’re not.” Lily kissed his forehead.  “You’re an amazing man and an even more amazing father. You’re the love of my life.” 

“I failed you, though. I let that monster get to you.”

“If it wasn’t me, it would’ve been some other poor girl. I would’ve rather it be me. At least I’m the reason he was caught.”

“I miss you.” He pressed her warm hand to his cold cheek. “I miss you so much.”

“And I miss you. But we will be reunited one day. Just not now. Just not now…”

They kissed goodbye. Alfonso blinked and opened his eyes to a bright hospital room. His and Lily’s parents were sitting in chairs on either side of him. Carlota was curled up next to him, sleeping. He took her into his arms and held her close.

“I’ll never let you go again.”