I feel my conscience waking up slowly. My chest hurts, my body is on fire and I feel a warm hand holding mine.

Where am I? It reminds me of when I was young and sick and my mother would hold my hand.

-Mother - I say

I feel the hand holding mine tremble and I hear a sigh.

No, it can't be my mother because she is dead.

Then who?

My conscience fades away.

When I wake up again, I don't feel my body burning anymore.

I try to sit but my chest hurts. I can only lay back and look around. I've never been in this room before. It's extremely luxurious and I wonder if this is where I think it is.

I hear the door opening and I look up to see a maid looking at me. She sees that I'm awake, smiles, and goes away before I can speak a word.

A few minutes later the door opens again. This time is the emperor and behind him is a man that I recognize to be an imperial physician.

-You're awake – says the emperor.

-Yes.

-How do you feel?

-Fine.

-Examine him – orders the emperor.

The physician examines me and says that all the poison has been expelled and that I only need to do is rest and recover. He seems to be hiding something because he looks nervous when I ask him if there are any sequels left.

-Leaves us – says the emperor.

The physician bows: "Yes Your Majesty".

I pretend to be shocked and try to get up to salute the emperor. He grabs my shoulder to stop me.

-No need for formalities – says he.

-Your Majesty, are you really the emperor?

He smiles.

-I'm sorry that I kept it hidden from you. I was going to tell you eventually but I didn't expect this to happen.

-Please don't apologize Your Majesty.

-Aren't you angry for me lying to you?

-How dare this lowly one dare to be angry with Your Majesty?

-Tell me the truth – says he while looking me into the eyes.

I feel hypnotized by his stare.

-Yes- crap, I didn't mean to say that.

He chuckles.

-Good that you are being honest.

I'm angry because you killed my parents, not because you concealed who you are that's what I wanted to say but I couldn't.

-What are the sequels of the poison? - I asked.

He looked at me with guilty eyes. So, he does know what guilt is.

-Please tell me, Your Majesty. - Whatever it is, I can take it.

-You can't father children anymore.

-And?

-And? Isn't that enough? Do you want more?

He looks at me puzzled. What am I supposed to say? That in my previous live I didn't have any children because of him? That I knew that as long as he lived, I would never be allowed to father any child?

-As long as Your Majesty is safe, it's okay that this lowly one doesn't have children.

-Why did you block that arrow for this emperor?

-I don't know. My body moved by itself. - I wasn't lying, I really didn't know why.

-When you're better this emperor will reward you with whatever you want.

-I don't need any rewards.

-Chan'er promise me that you will never do this again - he says while looking angry at me.

I don't reply. Would I do it again? Yes, because I'm the one who should kill him.

-I sent someone to inform your father that you woke up, he must arrive soon.

-Many thanks, Your Majesty.

-I will be going now; I will visit you later.

-I won't see you off Your Majesty.

Sometime after my adoptive father arrived.

-Chang'er how are you?

-I'm fine father.

-Do you know how much worried I was about you?

-I'm sorry.

-How did you end up meeting the emperor? You never told me about it.

-We met by accident and I didn't know he was the emperor.

-Chang'er, when you're better your father, will take you to the countryside ok?

-Why?

-Because the capital is dangerous and I don't want anything to happen to you.

I wonder if he really was worried about me or if he was worried about not getting more rewards for completing his mission of training me to go against the prime minister.

We chatted a bit more and then I started feeling sleepy and he left.

Every day the emperor would come to visit me and chat. He would sit side by side with me and often our hands touched but none of us moved it. He would always pet my head before leaving.

One day when I was much better and our hands were side by side, he moved his finger to interlock with mine while we sat there in silence. I wanted to take my hand away but I had to endure it.

But when he looked into my eyes and softly said "Chang'er" I felt my heart skipping a beat.

I decided to ignore that feeling.

It was hard for me to lay on the bed doing nothing so the emperor kept keeping me busy with all kinds of stuff and so time passed until I was finally better.