We go back to the imperial palace. The empress and concubines are notified that the emperor was hurt.

The empress wants to punish me but the emperor stops her. He tells them all to leave and for me to stay.

-Your Majesty, how are you feeling? - I ask while grabbing his hand.

-Don't worry Chang'er - he smiles

-Your dragon body is precious and can't be compared with this concubine Your Majesty.

-Chang'er.

-Yes, Your Majesty?

-You are this emperor's life.

I feel like I have daggers stabbing my heart. I struggle to put a smile on my face but I can't so I kiss his forehead to hide my face from him.

Only now I know that he let me stay in his room when I was hurt.

It feels like we are back in time but now it's him lying on the bed.

I spend my days and nights looking after him until he gets better.

The better he gets the more he kisses me and I keep having to stop him so he doesn't reopen his wound.

When he totally recovers, I go back to my palace.

To my new palace, that finally got ready. It took a long time, probably they thought the emperor no longer favored me and maybe would even send an order for me not to move to the new palace so they kept delaying it.

This palace is totally decorated for a man. It's a relief no longer being surrounded by female things.

I wasn't expecting the emperor to visit me that night.

But he came.

-Chang'er.

-Yes, Your Majesty.

-The imperial physician said that this emperor is totally recovered.

-That's great, Your Majesty.

-Chang'er this emperor doesn't want to wait anymore.

I feel myself blushing from his words and stare. Why am I blushing like a young girl when I've already lived so much? Is not like I haven't done anything before with my wife and concubines, the only difference is that now I would be on the receiving end.

I was wrong, totally wrong.

I always thought that sex was just a means to have children. After many years of trying to have children with my wife and concubines and seeing that none got pregnant, I stopped sleeping with them.

But tonight, opened the doors of a new world to me.

At first, it hurt but after... I felt like I was in heaven.

Mother, father, sister, brother... Please forgive me for enjoying being united as one with the one who killed you.

I feel torn between waves of guilt and pleasure as if I'm in heaven and hell.

I bite the emperor's shoulder hard as if wanting to make him pay for tormenting me, for making me feel so divided, but it made him even more enthusiastic.

We spend most of the night doing it.

The next day the emperor tells me that I'm excused from going to pay respects to the empress.

I agree because my waist hurts and a certain part feels sore. Before going to court, the emperor carefully applies some ointment there. It's embarrassing, why couldn't he leave the ointment there for me to apply it myself after he left?

The emperor seems to notice my aggrieved stare because he chuckles before kissing me and leaving.

I sleep until late and I miss my martial arts class.

When the history tutor arrives, he greets me:

-Greetings consort Wei.

-What did you say?

-Greetings consort Wei.

I look at him puzzled. He seems to realize something.

-My lord, his Majesty promoted your rank to consort this morning.

-Oh, I see.

I'm surprised. I wasn't expecting the promotion. 

If I was a woman I would feel happy about it.

But it makes me feel empty and guilty.

Guilty for my family or for the emperor?

I don't know.

I don't want to know.