Back at home, I'm lying in my bed spread out like an X. I'm wearing a light blue negligee. I look at my points and sigh. "No one is coming. What should we do?"

 

  Christal tilts her head with a hand on her chin. "I don't know. It's the dungeon Mistress's job to figure these things out."

 

  "seriously? I'm not sure if we can handle adventures but shouldn't they come anyway?" I complain while thrashing about.

 

  "It is strange considering the world."

 

  "Right?!" I yell while flipping up to a seating position. "Also, the wording for this dungeon thing is too vague! What does defeating people mean? How do I beat them with sex?"

 

  Christal seems to bristle at my complaints as she responds, "They are vague so that the dungeon master can be creative. Every dungeon is a bit different. The most efficient and straightforward way to earn points is to kill people. Then more people will come for vengeance. It's hard to maintain, though."

 

  I throw a sock at Christal that goes through her. "You said something like that before! Murder is the last of the last resort." I stretch my back to level myself before continuing, "It's not like I haven't thought of a few ideas, but I don't know if they'll work."

 

  "If you tell me, I can verify if they'll generate points."

 

  "Alright. But it'd be easier if there was a written rule book."

 

  "Mistress, there is such a book!" Christal exclaims with a toothy grin.

 

  "Let's see it then."

 

  "Of course."

 

  A page of text appears in front of me. It's written in legal speak. I scroll through it and look at the page count. It's in the millions. Everyone complains about the legal agreements for software. But this is too much!

 

  "Most dungeon masters ignore the rules. So we stop bringing it up during the intro. Because of that, we've got a special one-time pause for reading the rules. Would you like to pause time now?"

 

  "it's too intimidating for me. But maybe later."

 

  "ok."

 

  "So first idea. I convince Brigit to masturbate in the dungeon. Thus sexually defeating her?"

 

  "This will generate some points," Christal says. But her voice wobbles somewhat uncertainly.

 

  "That response doesn't assure me."

 

  "It will definitely produce points, Mistress. I can't say the amount since it depends on how powerful her orgasm is. How involved you are, or your minion is involved. Among other factors."

 

  "So the main two are orgasm and being involved? I think we'll do this first. My second idea is to lure or kidnap a peasant from the other side. But if I force them into the dungeon, does it still count?"

 

  "It's fine. But defeats outside the dungeon don't produce points. There are some loopholes, but you should assume this to be the rule."

 

  "Alright, if they continue to refuse to enter, we'll try that. We can even investigate them on why no one is entering."

 

  "You don't know their language. How will you interrogate them?"

 

  I rub my forehead. "You're right. Can I even learn the right language without knowing what they speak?" I question in frustration. Then a list of languages sprawled before me. There are quite a few and well they cost too much. Novice is 1000 points, and it gets worse from there.

 

  "Impossible," I complain while flinging the list away. "Well, I'll have to get a cot from town tomorrow." I climb under my covers and close my eyes.

 

.

.

.

.

.

 

 

  PUOooPUoooPUOoo! An alarm blares. I shoot awake and look around in confusion. I haven't set an alarm clock since I graduated from school. "What's going on?"

 

  "Mistress, there is an invader," Christal explains.

 

  "What? What time is it?" I look around and see my clock. One AM. "Shit! Am I screwed?"

 

  "Blue has engaged the intruder."

 

  I jump out of bed and start throwing on whatever clothes I find. Damn it! It takes almost an hour to get there.

 

  "Mistress, you can observe using the map."

 

  "What are you talking about! There's no time for that," I state while flinging the door open. My nightie is sticking out from under my clothes.

 

  "Mistress, if they can beat Blue and the slimes, it's already too late."

 

  The map of the dungeon appears in front of me. Five blue dots surround one red dot. I can't tell what's happening, but Blue is in the center. The slimes aren't named, so they are numbered. A slime moves forward.

 

  "The invader has been defeated," Christal states.

 

  "Seriously," I sigh in relief. "Did, did they kill them?"

 

  "No, the pink slime has incapacitated her with its aphrodisiac."

 

  "Ok, let's go then!" I exclaim and walk downstairs.

 

  I'm surprised to see the lights on as I enter the living room. I look around and see mom in conservative sleeping robes. Of course, it can't hide mom's massive chest or large birthing hips.

 

  Mom looks over at me and asks, "what's wrong? You were making so much noise I was worried."

 

  I step back, and my mind swirls. I look up at the ceiling and reach my hand back to mess with my ponytail. But it's not there, so I just run my hand through my hair. "I had a nightmare. After I woke up, I remembered I forgot something back by the stream."

 

  Mom strides over to me and embraces me. I sink in between her chest. She whispers into my ear, "honey, it's late. It's not safe to wander at night. Just leave it for tomorrow."

 

  I falter as mom's warmth surrounds me. "But."

 

  "Now, now. I'm sure it can wait till tomorrow," mom says as she strokes my head.

 

  "That's right, mistress, the battle is over. We can do this in the morning."

 

  "Alright, I get it," I state as I push out of mom's embrace. "I'll go in the morning."