Chapter 30: Unexplored Feelings
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Edited by: Waning_Crescents


A warm breeze blew through the partially opened window, bulging the curtains of the bedroom a bit. In his sleep, Cal threw part of his blanket aside while he squeezed his eyes together as if something caused him to feel uncomfortable. In the next second, his eyelids twitched before he half-way opened his eyes where darkness embraced his vision. In his muddle-headed state he fumbled for his phone and stared at the screen which displayed 4:00am. He put the phone back and blinked some to adapt his eyes to his dark surroundings. Since he moved in with Sigal, he had no issues sleeping through the night, but this time something stirred him awake. Just then he realized that the air in the bedroom changed; it became way warmer than any other night, which indicated that summer had finally arrived.

He knitted his brows at this realization and let out an annoyed sigh. Summer never had been his favorite season; he always regarded the excessive heat as bothersome, and it also awakened some kind of uneasiness inside of him. He cleared his throat where he was met with a slightly dry feeling; thus, Cal turned to the side and rose to get out of bed as careful as possible to not wake Sigal to his left, but right as he planted one foot on the floor a tight grip wrapped around his wrist. “Don’t go.”

Cal jerked, his heart skipping a beat. “I…am just getting some water, no need to grab me.”

He waited a little while for Sigal to let go, but when he received no response and Sigal didn’t let up on his wrist either, Cal whipped his head around. “Let go! I just said I only wanted to get some—”

He choked back the rest of his words when he noticed that Sigal didn’t even move, that in fact he still seemed asleep. Cal crawled closer to his partner, who mumbled, “Cal, please don’t go.”

Cal froze and his eyes widened. What did he just say?

This, however, stirred Cal's curiosity. He narrowed his eyes before he moved even closer in an attempt to catch more of what Sigal had to say. He thought that what his partner was mumbling could give him a lead, that he might be able to pick up some useful information to jog his memory.

Cal waited a few minutes in hope that Sigal would reveal more, but he only repeated the words ‘don’t go!’ once again, but this time in an agonizing tone of voice. With his vision clearer in the darkness than any other human being, he spotted sweat on Sigal’s face as well as his quivering eyelids. Aside from that, his breathing appeared uneven, as if in distress. This sight caused Cal too much pain to continue watching and he dropped his mission, instead he placed his free hand’s palm on the back of Sigal’s hand and whispered with a kind and reassuring voice, “I’m here.”

As if he had spoken magic words, Sigal calmed down in an instant and his breathing too stabilized, yet he still held onto Cal’s wrist, although his grip loosened a bit. Cal let out a sigh of relief as he gazed at his partner with a pained expression. Just what did you dream about?

Dismissing the idea of getting something to drink, Cal laid down beside Sigal. He eyed him for a little while longer until he fell back asleep.

 

As Cal opened his eyes the next morning, the sight of Sigal’s bare chest came into view. He laid stock-still staring at it until the sleepy cloudiness lifted, realizing that he used Sigal’s broad shoulder as a pillow while he also had his right arm draped around his partner’s chest.

His eyes shot wide open, and he jolted away in panic. W…what am I doing? His cheeks took the shade of vermillion and his heart rate shot up in an instant. Did…did he notice?

He scooched a bit closer to Sigal, terrified to meet his eyes, afraid of how he would react, but to his luck Sigal was still fast asleep. Cal let out a breath of relief, but his gaze remained plastered at his partner’s sleeping face. In comparison to the middle of the night, he appeared more tranquil, no signs of any nightmares disturbing his sleep.

Cal tucked strands of his hair, which curtained his face, behind one of his ears while a warm smile glowed in his eyes. Why is he always giving me these strange feelings? This is so ridiculous…we are both men…there is no way he would even consider…

He stopped his train of thought for a moment, refuting himself. What am I even thinking? Am I really…

Before he could even finish his last thought process, Sigal woke up and his eyes met Cal’s. Caught by surprise, Cal pulled back in such a hurry that he miscalculated the length of the bed and lost his balance. However, before he went flying over the edge, Sigal grabbed his wrist, pulling him back and closer to him. “What are you doing?”

“I…I…” Cal stammered while he stared at Sigal, unable to form a full sentence.

Sigal scrutinized Cal’s expression and noticed his reddened face. “Do you have a fever?” He reached out with his other hand to feel his partner’s forehead, but Cal immediately shook his head in rapid motions. “N-no, it’s the heat, the heat.”

“The heat?” Sigal raised an eyebrow, doubtfully.

Cal nodded quickly. “Yes, the heat. I can’t stand the summer, it’s way too warm, it makes me feel uncomfortable.”

“I guess it did get a bit warmer.” Sigal let go of Cal, still kind of wary if his partner told the truth or if he tried to cover up some pain again.

Sigal got out of bed, walked to the window, and opened the drapes, letting the sunlight in. “I will turn on the AC if it bothers you, will that do?”

“Mn. Thank you.”

“Good.” Sigal walked to the door and opened it before he glanced at Cal. “I will call you when breakfast is ready. Rest a bit longer.”

After Sigal left, Cal let himself drop back into his cushion, exhaling an exasperated sigh. I am such an idiot! He wrapped one arm around his forehead. His expression was full of doubt! He thinks I am not honest with him again. He ruffled his hair, wildly. But… He screamed internally. This is such nonsense! I have to calm down.

Then, however, he let his hands drop to the side and he stared at the ceiling for a few minutes; his thoughts wandering to what transpired during the night. But more importantly: his nightmares. I wonder for how long he has been dealing with them already…and what was he dreaming about!?

 

A few minutes later, Cal exited the bedroom and walked into the living room, where the pleasant smell of pancakes wafted to his nose. Cal liked that smell, but not only the scent, Sigal’s pancakes were fluffy and luscious, much better than any other he had ever tried in his life. Even though they just lived together for a couple of days, Sigal acted as if they had been living together for a long time. He took care of Cal without any complaints or even a little sign of annoyance. However, beyond this strong exterior, Sigal hid something painfully, yet Cal couldn’t make any sense of what his partner said last night.

“Didn’t I say I will call you when it’s done?” Sigal asked with his back facing Cal.

“I am thirsty.” Cal walked into the kitchen, took out a glass from the cabinet and poured some water in it.

“Don’t forget your—“

“I know.”

Cal grabbed the medicine from the counter and washed it down with water before he sat down on the couch.

“Are you really alright?”

“Yes, I am. I swear.” Although still shaken up about the chaos raging in his body, he tried to keep it in check, appearing as natural as possible.

Sigal turned and glanced at him with a somewhat suspicious expression as if he tried to read Cal’s face to gauge if he had been telling the truth or not.

When Cal noticed this, he slightly frowned. “I am not lying to you!”

Hearing that, Sigal let it go and put his attention back to what he had been doing. “Alright.”

Afraid that Sigal might get the idea to ask further about what he was doing when he woke up, Cal took the initiative to change the subject. “For how long have you been struggling with nightmares?”

Sigal froze at this unexpected question, rendering him speechless for a minute. “What do you mean?”

“I woke up in the middle of the night, you seemed in a lot of pain.”

“It’s nothing. Everyone has nightmares once in a while, it’s nothing unusual.”

“You want me to be honest with you, yet you aren’t with me, is that fair?”

Sigal turned his head a bit, catching a glimpse of Cal’s piercing glare. “It started a while ago.”

“When?”

“After Noah died, I always had nightmares if something happened.” Sigal started to explain while he kept on cooking. “It will go away eventually, don’t worry about it.”

As far as Cal remembered, Sigal had never mentioned Noah before, nor did anyone else in front of him. He read about him and what happened in the case file, but this was the first time Sigal brought him up on his own accord. “He was your former partner, right?”

“Yeah…”

Both fell into silence. Until now, Cal only assumed that Noah had been Sigal’s partner, but now he had confirmation. He kind of felt the urge to ask further about what exactly had happened during that case and what went wrong, but at the same time he also thought that it wasn’t his place to do so.

***

 

“This is quite comfortable.” Nowe flapped his arms around in his orange jump-suit like a happy kid.

“Of course, you would think that way. You mostly wear baggy clothes, not much of a difference,” Asher said as he parked the van.

After they received some intel from inside the factory and hit a slight wall of how to proceed further, Vergil came up with an idea how to get inside without attracting any attention. Usually, any business had some external company taking care of the cleaning of the building and this one was no exception. Through connections, the CIB planted Asher and Nowe into the facility management in charge of maintaining the factory; that way, they could enter without appearing suspicious.

When the clock hit 7pm, it was the cue for the Conciliators to start their ‘temporary job’. Both got out of the van, snatched the cleaning apparatus from the trunk compartment and entered the building.

While they pretended to do their job, they also had access to every room of the factory, so they could secretly look for anything suspicious or any kind of hints that would lead them any further in this case, but so far nothing appeared out of the ordinary.

“How is it going?” a voice traveled into Asher’s ear.

“So far, nothing, but there is a lot more ground to cover,” Asher replied.

“Be careful.” Vergil, along with his crew, had been stationed outside of the building, ready to provide backup whenever necessary.

 

Nowe went into an office and rummaged through the drawers, but all he could find were documents for the actual factory, some were signed, and some were just drafts and ideas. I guess it would be too easy if their plans just laid around like that. He closed the drawer and walked out of the room where he took some stairs downwards into the basement. However, this basement was no ordinary basement, but a lab where they performed legal chemical trials to find the right formula for their clients.

Nowe narrowed his eyes and scrutinized everything closely, but his knowledge of these things was very limited, so he had a hard time judging the contents of the tubes. But before he could ask Asher for help, he heard dull noises echoing through. What was that?

Before he followed the noises, he opened communication and whispered, “Come into the basement. I hear people.” Then he tip-toed to where he thought the noises originated from and found a door at the end of the room; he pressed his ear against it and listened in. However, he barely could make out any words of the conversation that was going on inside which made Nowe frown.

Only a few minutes later, Asher arrived, and Nowe motioned to him to make no sound, pointing at the door. His partner instantly understood and fetched out a device which would make this operation a lot easier: a little bug. He crouched down and inspected the door, which appeared to be sturdier than a normal door and the gap on the lower surface also was barely visible. Fortunately, this little slit seemed enough to get the bug across.

Nowe watched his partner carefully placing the device before both moved away, while Asher established a connection between the bug and their nano-transmitters in their ears.

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