Chapter 11: Broken Dreams
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I went to the park yesterday, it was really comfy to watch all the people walk around and sing and stuff. I’m thinking ‘maybe I should go into a more wholesome direction just to share that feeling.’
ʘ‿ʘ

My head lays against Abby's thighs. Her chest moves up and down with the sound of the waves, while her face was lit up by the stars, numerous enough to let me see her eyes looking out into the ocean, but not enough for me to see her face. I only saw the outline.

“You look beautiful,” I said.

“But you can’t even see me.” She replied.

“But you do look beautiful. Has anyone ever told you that Abby?”

“No. You’re the first.” She looked down. “I love you because you are a lot of my firsts. My first love, my first time feeling happy, and the first person I took to watch the river with me.”

“I knew I was your first.”

“You did?”

“You looked so sad, so lonely. I guess it was the right thing to make all those comments and fake stories about you…” I bit my tongue. “You didn’t know…you weren’t-“

“It's okay.” She brushed my head. “I wanted you to do that…It was the only way we could be together, A moment of sadness would never be as important as what I got from spending time with you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too”

She moves her head down. I close my eyes.

“Wake up.” She says.

“Huh?” I opened my eyes, wasn’t she about to kiss me?

“Wake up!” she said one more time.

Wait. No, don’t! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo…

“Huh?” I mumbled. My eyes opened to blurry darkness.

Leslie started to shake me. “I said wake up!”

“Wha- wha, is something happening?”

“Just wake up idiot!”

I sit up and cover my eyes when the lights suddenly turn on and blind me. “What's happening? What time is it?” The words slur out.

Leslie was standing over me. She wore the same thing from yesterday, except her hair moved in thirty different directions. “You need to tell me everything that happened yesterday! You need to talk!”

“Don’t you remember?”

“I remember…parts…now talk!” she kicked my shins with her feet.

I told her about everything that happened. About her getting drunk and me taking her away because I was tired. Of course, I mentioned nothing about her crazy rant, or about Ari trash-talking her. It wouldn’t help anyway.

“So I didn’t start a fight with Ari? Or…you know…anything else?!”

“Nope. You were completely okay, no fights, no anything, you behaved extremely well. Now let's go back to sleep. I was actually having a reall-“

“No, I can’t. My head is killing me right now. I need some air, so let's go outside for a while.”

“But-“

“Come on, do you really want to see me murdered because I walked alone at night?”

“You could always stay…”

“Are you coming?”

“Yea.”

I picked myself up from the floor and shoved some sandals on my feet. We walked outside to an empty hallway and then to an empty hotel parking lot. What time is it?

“What time is it?” I asked

“It’s 3am.”

If I had a knife right now it would be in her back. “Where are you going?”

“Come on.”

I followed her as she walked on a small gravel road at the side of the parking lot. The gravel road sloped upwards into a giant forest and zig-zagged into various trees. Whoever made it sure knew how to give you a scene. The gravel road stopped on a row of benches that overlooked a cliff.

She took a seat on one of those benches. I stayed up.

I was so tired I could see someone far away in the ocean. A figure that moved in and out of existence, was there, on the edge of reality, mocking my inability to go back to sleep. “I think you're a great actress. You shouldn’t quit.” I said

"huh?"

"I said you shouldn't quit!"

“…I don’t think I should keep going Jake. You were right…when we fought you told me that I was pretty uninteresting, you know that's kinda right. When they told me that they were going to replace me the authors said I just wasn’t charismatic on the screen, my parents tell me the same thing, although they do it without trying to insult me.

“I think it's time that I give up. You know, not everybody is going to reach the pinnacle, not everybody is meant to succeed…”

Yea, but if you don’t stay in your job then I will never get to see Abby again. “But you will.” I grabbed her shoulder from her back and stood over her. “You will! Look out to that sea…do you see anything?”

“No…”

“Well, I see a lot of things! I see the future for one. I see you in front of blue, shining, lights! I see you so famous, so beloved for your acting that nobody will go one step without seeing your face. Do you know why I believe this?”

“…”

“I believe it because you are the best actress I have EVER seen. You are so good that when I saw you almost die, I was crying! I had tears in my eyes! Your acting was so good, it's why I decided to work for you as a temp assistant with no benefits, and a salary that can barely buy toilet paper!”

“You think so?”

“Do I think so? Do I think so? Would I be here telling you this if I didn’t think so? Why wouldn’t I just say, hey, Leslie, you can quit, let me work for another actress. It’s because I believe in YOU. How about this, we wait until tomorrow. I mean you do have a scene to work on tomorrow right?”

“Yea…”

“You and I will practice it together until my lips bleed! No more complaining! If you want to practice after making me spend twenty years working in a mine then I will do it! What do you think?”

I was a little out of breath after essentially screaming into the ocean, so I decided to sit next to her on the bench.

“Okay, okay. Let's see how tomorrow looks, then we can decide on it.” She turned her head towards me, I could see a smile and flushed cheeks under the moonlight. “I wouldn’t want you to say all that just to have me not try….” She stood up. “Now come on, I need to go to sleep for tomorrow.”

We walked back to the hotel room. The road back weaved the opposite direction, and I was feeling like we were lost, but Leslie Just continued to walk down the road until we were back in the hotel.

“Ah.” She said.

“Hm?” I replied.

“I have to change, wait outside for a bit.”

“I really can-“

She shut the door and locked it. I cursed under my breath. Wasn’t this the part where she started to treat me like an actual human being?

I waited for what could have been hours, but was probably minutes, and decided to go back to the dining room. All chances of seeing Abby one more time were gone anyway. Dreams like that were very rare.

The room was quiet and nobody was in it. It was strange to see a room that was so loud now be quiet enough to hear my sandals move across the wood. I picked the same spot I sat on yesterday to wait. What can I say, I like to pick spots and stick with them.

Suddenly, I was deep in thought.

It was important that I started to cut down on all these distractions. The plan was simple. Get in. Get along with Abby. Get married. No fuss, no obstacles, no distractions. But now I’ve even been forced to break away from her because I need to keep this job. It's all going to shit. I’m forced to handhold these stupid obstacles so that I can get a chance to even talk with Abby. If only I was born as the world's richest man, or the man that Abby would love the instant she saw me, if only, if only.

It's strange Abby would be put in front of me, and yet…she seems like-

“Hello?” A woman's voice, Ari, broke the silence. I looked around, and couldn’t see anybody. Her head poked out right next to my knee. Her mascara ran down her cheeks while red lipstick smeared to the left. She looked like a clown.

“Hello.” I was too tired to be surprised.

“What..time is it?”

“It's 4 am.”

“Shit….what…happened last night?” she crawled out under the table, stood up, and yawned like someone who had a great night's sleep.

“I don’t know I left last night before everybody else.”

“You look familiar.”

“I’m Leslie's assistant.”

“Ah. The guy who follows her around everywhere.”

“Yes.”

There was a silence as she looked around. The dining room was clean, all the bottles and dishes were taken away, even when I sat down I noticed how the tables sparkled. Whatever she was looking for wouldn’t be here.

“Do you…remember what happened?” She asked

“No.”

“G-good. I was hoping that I wasn’t the only one. Some of these nights have been really harsh. Ah.” She looked down and noticed that her dress straps were falling down. Yes, I could see her bra. But I really didn’t care. “Look away for a second!”

I twisted my head. The noise of her clothes brushing against her skin filled the room. I don’t know. Maybe I could go back to my room now and Leslie would be finished.

“I’m good. H-have you seen a purse anywhere around here? Actually!” She hit her fist against her palm. “Didn’t you take my keycard last night? I think-I think I remember that happening.”

“Ah, no I took Leslies, not yours.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Then could you help me find mine?”

“I would love to.” I actually would not. “But I am not going to be here for long, why don’t you ask your assistant.”

“It’s a two-day shoot!” she exclaimed. “There's no way I could force her to come down here and spend two days shooting with me.”

“Well, that's a shame.”

She gave me a look and started her search. First, she looked around where she was sitting, and then expanded the search from that spot outward. Really if you ever lose anything that would be the smartest way to search for it.

“So how is it working with Leslie?” she asked me from across the room.

“It's fine.”

“You know I’ve always had a sort of crush on her, she seems so beautiful and far away. It must be a treat for a guy like you to be working with her all day!”

“Yea, it is.”

“Don’t get too excited! She's still your boss and you wouldn’t want her to think your hitting on her or anything.”

“I’m not.”

“Who are you kidding, a young guy like you? You must be too into this! I mean you get to be around one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. Trust me, I have nephews. So, tell me, how is she to work with?”

“Well, it's fine. Ah.” I opened my flip phone “Looks like it's about time for me to leave, good luck with finding your keycard.”

“Yea thanks…” her voice drifted as I walked away.

Again. Why is it that distractions tend to just come my way? I’m not handsome! Fuck. I’m not even interesting to talk to! What the fuck is going on?

Leslie had put a post-it note on the door with the keycard.

‘Get in, don’t make noise, I gave you a pillow.’

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