Emily came back with two shovels. We dug a hole right next to the warehouse. I don’t how far we should have dug it, but we dug it for some time before we threw the body in. Emily remained silent the entire time. At some point, her arms shook as she dug, unable to hold the shovel anymore, but she continued.
What if she went to the police? Would she give me out? Should I kill her too? No. I can’t. Two disappearing idols wouldn’t be a good idea. She barely spoke as we finished digging and I could see her thinking. I didn’t know of what.
When we finished I threw the shovels into the back of the van.
“Tomorrow, we forget all about this.” I grabbed her shoulders and forced her head up. I could see her eyes were slightly glazed over, but they focused once they met mine.
“Yea, tomorrow...”
“Good. You did great Emily. You did great.” I let her go. God. What a horrible thing to do to one of your members, I would never support an idol group like her. “It went a little bit wrong, but you did good you did well.”
I took off a pink strand of hair from Emilie's shirt. In her dazed mood, she looked down from my eyes to the hair. Her knees buckled to the floor, then she begin panting “I didn’t, I wasn’t, I wanted to scare her! I didn’t, I tried to stop, I tried to, but she kept that stupid fucking look on her face, and I…I didn’t mean to! It was a mistake!”
I crouched down and hugged her. “I know, I was there, It wasn’t your fault at all. She kept pushing you all the way and then…it was her fault.”
She looked at me like a lost girl. “You-you won’t tell anybody, right? I-I didn’t mean to kill her!”
“I know. This was me and you Emily. Listen. I need you to be strong now because we have to go home, it's over.”
She looked a little more relaxed as I rubbed my arms on her shoulders. She weakly stood up. Then she looked at me again, her face full of terror. “The phone…where is the phone. It has a picture of us on it! If the police find it….”
Fuck. I forgot about the phone. I was too worried about convincing this idiot to do something that would give her some prison time that I completely forgot about the picture.
“It's fine. I’ll figure something out, trust me, you did nothing wrong, Emily. Everything will be okay.”She looked at me. Her brain was so fried that she nodded her head without responding. Her body shook as I guided her back to her car. “Let me go to the dorm. Just go to your parents home. I’ll take care of the phone.”
“I love you.” Her eyes were nervously looking at mine as she said it. Disgusting.
“Get back home and sleep.”
The van made a strange roar when I turned it on, I don’t know, it never sounded like that before. I drove to their dorm.
The drive and search gave me time to think about the entire situation, to digest it. I realized that I was fucked. If this ever got out, and because it was an idol member that disappeared it would get out, the police would do an investigation. Emily would crack. It wasn’t an if, but a when. Now what? Do I have to stop her from going to the police?
I found the phone under her bed. Clare wasn’t that good at hiding things, or maybe I was good at finding them. I would’ve looked through it but it was password protected.
Street lights passed my windshield. There was something brewing in my head, like a headache, but deeper and more aching. Why did that stupid girl have to kill her! It could have all gone to plan, we could have all gone our separate ways and nothing else would have come out of this for me. I had the photo. Now all I needed to do was get rid of Emily. But I couldn’t get rid of her now…
I went back to my house to find her outside my door.
She looked at me and forced a smile on her face. “H-hey! I, I couldn’t go to sleep, I was wondering if we could talk together a little more. Just for today!”
“It’s…1 am. I think it would be best if you went home.”
I put in the key. She gripped my arm softly. “Please.” She whispered.
It looked like everything was weighing down on her already. How long could she keep this up? “Okay.” I opened the door and slammed myself into my bed. “You can talk, I need to wake up early tomorrow.” I closed my eyes.
The door slammed shut. I could hear her feet step as she hesitated, took her shoes off, then went unto my bed. She tried to take some of the sheets and I relented. I felt the heat from her body as it radiated under those sheets towards me.
“I killed someone.”
“You didn’t.”
“Did you get the phone?”
“I threw it in the river.”
I didn’t throw it in the river, I had it in the van. There was an allure to it. I couldn’t bring myself to destroy it.
There was silence. I could feel myself lulling to sleep against the sound of crickets outside the door.
“How do I know you won’t tell anybody?” she asked, breaking me out of my sleep.
“Cause I won’t. If I tell someone then you and I are both going to jail. You and me. So please let's both keep this a secret. I also think it would be best if we stopped talking to each other.”
“Why? So that you can get rid of me, so that when the cops come they’ll only take me? Clara said I was stupid, and other people might say that too, but I…I won’t leave. You can’t make me. Besides, it's you and me. Right?”
I opened my eyes. In the darkness, her eyes were focused and blank. They looked at me like prey ready to eat its meal. My skin crawled. My liver jumped out of my throat ready to spew bile and rancid acid the moment I opened my mouth, I was ready to throw up. I closed my eyes again.
At least I knew that Emily did not actually like me, but was seducing me in some misguided attempt to get my loyalty. I turned around. “We’re in this together Emily, you and me. Now please, I have to get some sleep.”
She hugged me from behind. I could feel her breath against the back of my neck. “Good.” She whispered.
My brain turned off and all I felt was the rhythmic rising and falling of her chest against my back. I imagined it was Abby. And for a moment it was all fine until I thought about how this all ended.
Emily started to mumble to herself in the silence. “I killed someone today. I put my hands around their throat and crushed it…why? For Daniel? For the picture? I…don’t know. Oh god. Oh god. I’m sorry Clare, please, I’m so sorry. I would-” I ignored the rest.
I mean.
How could anybody get any sleep if they paid attention to all the noise in their house?
