I slurped up the noodles into my mouth and Abby had a boyfriend. The noodles were good. Abby had a boyfriend. It was hot and greasy and it went right down my throat, but it also left a taste in my mouth that I couldn’t get rid of. It was a good taste. And Abby had a boyfriend.
My finger tapped against the wooden restaurant table. It felt impenetrable. But Abby had a boyfriend so I kept on tapping on the table hoping that the sound would give me some idea of what I was supposed to do with this information.
“Stop tapping on the table, you idiot.” Ah, Leslie was here too. “Come on, stop eating and tell me how the audition went.”
“It went well. They said they’ll hire you as the character and that, because of some stuff that happened with the previous person shooting you would have to shoot as soon as possible. They needed someone now.”
She snorted. “Of course, I got the part. How could anybody refuse an actress with as many roles as me for such a shit gig.”
Leslie put her hair into a bun, her hands moved like a spider as she changed her long brown hair into something more suitable for eating. I know that it's not acceptable for her to have had a boyfriend while she was an idol, and now that she is still promoting as a quasi-idol she should still be single. It shouldn’t be okay, it should never be okay.
I started tapping on the table again. Something about the even beat made me focus, it made me think easier. Why did she lie to me in the fan meetings then? She wanted someone to support her? What the fuck. Why am I stuck here vying for her while she goes and dates every single man that she wants! This relationship is a give and take!
“It still seems like a shit tv show. No matter how many times I reread it I can’t see anything good about it, it's your average melodrama.”
“Leslie do the show.”
“Excuse me?!”
I bit my tongue. If Abby decided that she still wanted to be a part of this industry then I would still need this job. But if…is what Abby did unforgivable?
A waitress came up to us before Leslie could start another silent tirade. She asked if everything was fine and Leslie put on her happy face and complimented her on the food while asking where she got her beautiful bracelet. It was amazing to see the switch in real-time. I still needed to get along with her, didn’t I? I don’t know.
Before Leslie could start I spoke. “It's a good show Leslie, trust me. In that one day, I visited so many people because I was committed to us. I was committed to your success, and all I get is you yelling at me? I’m tired Leslie, lets's not do this today.”
Her face was blank for a second then her stare turned to her soup. “I know. I’m sorry I…Sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
There was a second of silence where I could get some more time to think, but Leslie spoke up. “Look.” She pointed at the tv playing silently. The bottom part scrolled ‘Missing first island member found murdered and buried after 2-week nationwide search’. Hm. “They finally found her. It's sad when girls like that go to the deep end. There are always some fucked up people in the industry that use and abuse those girls until they end up like that.”
“So they finally found her.” My noodles were getting soft so I started to slurp them up.
“You know that a girl like that was into something horrible,” Leslie remarked. “I was never friends with any idols but I’ve heard a lot of stories about them getting abused and used by CEOs and then left to dry. Maybe she messed with the wrong people?”
“You think?”
“Of course. I mean I’m an actress and you don’t know how many guys I had to reject. There are hundreds of thousands at this point. Some were even high up, really high up, but I’m not the type of person to do something like that.”
Hundreds of thousands? I wonder how many must have hit on Abby before I came along. Maybe millions. It still doesn’t make it right. She should have had the power to stop all of them. It isn’t right. It isn’t fair.
I looked back from my noodles to the picture of the police coming in and out of the warehouse. I left so much evidence. They would probably find me soon, and Emily, they would find her soon too, and I know that she would break the instant the police start talking. I looked down at my flip phone. She had sent me some more messages. It was 9am. I wonder how long before the police catch Emily and me?
I sighed. It would be better to forgive her. Yea, that would be best. I could ask her to never speak of him again, and maybe I would ignore it. It wouldn’t matter if it's never brought up again. I could act like I never heard it.
“Don’t look so sad.” Leslie motioned my head away from the TV. “It's not like it affects us. We have to focus on getting more and more famous. The worrying part comes when some psycho stalker starts sending us letters and we have to start hiring bodyguards.” She gave me a pitying smile. “But I don’t think that will be happening any time soon.”
“Yea..” I looked back down at my noodles. They were soggy. I hated eating soggy noodles. Leslie started to play with her phone. It was time to leave.
Then a strange lady with a mask, glasses, and a hat approached us. She stood in front of our table. Leslie was too busy on her phone to notice but I looked up and I saw a beady stare. Ah. It was Emily. I could barely recognize her with her hair strewn all over the place and clothes that looked like she hadn’t changed in the past 3 days.
She stared at me. “Hello?” I asked. Leslie looked away from her phone and looked up at her with a disgusted face, at least for the second before she went back to an ‘I’m in public face’, it was amazing.
“I need to talk to you, Jake. Now.” Her tone accentuated the last part. What part of not talking to each other did this lady not get?
“Do you know this…person?” Leslie asked.
“Yea, it's something personal let me talk to her outside.” I grabbed Leslie by the arm and took her out of the restaurant. There were few people here and most of them kept to themselves, but I didn’t need to be caught today.
I dragged her to the alleyway and gently placed her against the wall. It looked like whatever was happening was going to happen soon. This was all going to fall apart, I was going to be dragged to hell, and Emily was going to be the person to finally end all of this. I didn’t care at this point. I couldn’t care. All my energy was being used up to surmount this Abby situation.
As I placed her against the wall I whispered. “What do you want? Didn’t you do enough already?”
“I-I’m sorry, I want-“
“What?! What could you want that you don’t understand that you are ruining my relationship with Abby?”
“I-I want to sleep! I want to be able to close my eyes and not watch her face go blue under my hands!” She took off her glasses to reveal red eyes and dark circles. “I can’t sleep! I can’t, I can’t go to my bed with my thoughts without watching her die. And you refuse, you don’t let me sleep in your bed!” Tears started to grow in her eyes. “Please, please, the only time I can sleep, the only time I can forget is when I’m with you…”
“Sleep this, sleep that, that's all you talk about! How about you start drinking, that's how most people go to sleep with killing someone, or, how about, you get over it.”
She started chuckling. “Get over it? Get over it?! I wish I could get over it. I wish my head would stop going in circles about what I could have done differently, about how I could have not listened to you! You were the one who did all this, you should take responsibility!” She moved her body like she was about to walk away. “Maybe even the cops would agree with me.”
I grabbed her arm. She yelped as her body slammed against the brick wall. “Okay. Okay. Why don’t we both agree to something.” Was Abby still worth it? I didn’t know. I didn’t know. But I would place a bet that she was.
“Sleep…or…or take these pictures in my head away, make them go away…”
“I can’t take away the fact that you murdered someone, Emily. You did that. You have to live with the consequences of murdering someone, but I can help you forget. Don’t talk to the cops. Don’t go to a doctor. Stay in my room, stay there, until you are better until everything can go back to normal, and I’ll come by and help you, I’ll come by every day, I mean, it's my room. I’ll help you forget.”
She looked up at me. Her eyes dazed, hopeful, and confused stared at me under the shadow of her cap. “But, how will I know you won’t ignore me?”
“I didn’t know it was taking that toll on you Emily, I thought you were angry with me. Now that I know how much this hurts you I will help you like I always have. Emily Trust me.”
